People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!

Some of you may remember that when my son was about nine or ten he wrote a description of Robbie. That was a long time ago, he is nineteen now and a couple of years ago he wrote an updated description of Robbie. I'm grateful to him to him for giving me permission to use his writing on the blog, he is very brave! I think Robbie is brilliant to see the funny side and to allow me to share it on the blog. I should explain that both men are Aspie, they get on well and they are great allies when it comes to making jokes at my expense, but each likes to imagine that the other is seriously weird! In reality both are rather unique and awesome individuals and I wouldn't change either of them (except to make them both a bit more tidy!)

                          Robbie by Will

Of all the words in the English Language, there is one I would make a  tremendous effort to avoid when describing my step dad: evolved. There are brief moments when I feel as if I'm watching a mountain Gorilla without David Attenborough's riveting commentary, or even a Baboon displaying it's behind as it forages in the deepest crevices of it's rucksack. When we drive over a brand new road surface he emits a series of primal hoots which increase in volume and pitch as his excitement builds. Who else in this world derives excitement from a new road surface? Such sounds would not be out of place at Twycross zoo, but even the great apes have grasped the concept of volume. Never in my life, have I heard an animal eat with such ferocity, humming approval to himself with every breath. 

I'll admit, I have exaggerated his level of evolution, there are some notable attributes that spare primates from close comparison. Firstly, Primates have the knowledge of self preservation. Whereas a normal person would sit still in a car, a sign of respect to their driver, my step dad decides instead to direct everyone's attention to the train, bus, or Eddy Stobart truck that he has spotted by flailing his arms and yelping with excitement in a way that one can only compared to an epileptic puppy waiting for it's ball to be thrown. Aside from the fear for ones life that is felt by every passenger in the car, I fear for his life, as he now has to face the wrath of the driver; my mother. Yet still he does it!

It has been noted that Apes have an inquisitive personality, and are aware of the smallest changes to their environment, but on the whole they adapt to this change. Adaptation is one thing he struggles to cope with. The strops that occur because the bottle shape of the tomato ketchup has changed could be described as biblical. If he notices the slightest of changes to his anally retentive form of feng shui, or if he decided that the colour of a product label isn't of the correct hue, he huffs, and he puffs, and he blows his composure down.

On the matter of his inquisitive nature, my step dad has an extraordinary intelligence and the ability to retain vast quantities of detailed information but unfortunately he obsessively applies this ability to his two main fields of interest - trains and Lego! Somewhat ironic. Every so often, an observer is treated to the sight of him opening a new Lego figure, or the sight of him witnessing a certain train. It is on these occasions that he will let out a grunt of approval and enjoyment. This sound is somewhat reminiscent of Louis Armstrong trying to move a wardrobe.

Finally, one minor differentiation between these two is the use of tools. Research has shown that chimps are able to adapt and use objects as tools. I myself have never seen an Ape using a hedge trimmer in the wild, but I'm sure that it would avoid cutting the trimmer's ORANGE cable amongst the GREEN hedgerow? The irony being that all apes are colour blind. Furthermore, I have never heard of a chimpanzee wiring a switch, but even if it had, I'm sure it would understand the basic consequences of leaving the mains power on!

Maybe I'm just finding fault with a member of my family, or maybe I have finally found a missing link - that's for you to decide. But I don't know of any being, human or animal, with the ability to crunch sodden Weetabix!

Take time to Reflect

Saturday 10th August

A very early start! The alarm woke us at 5am and Robbie seemed unusually keen to get out of bed. I snuggled back under the duvet for a minute or two, listening to him trotting around getting ready for the day. The ritual of packing the rucksack is a time consuming and from my point of view irritating procedure. Everything has to be taken out of the bag, checked and then packed back into the rucksack in the correct place, then additional items will be added according to the occasion. Throughout this process Robbie provides a running commentary on each item, presumably this is for his own benefit as it is of no interest at all to me. The result is that his newly packed rucksack weighs a ton and contains equipment to deal with every conceivable railway emergency as well as personal essentials. 

I could hear Robbie reciting the contents of his rucksack to himself in the other room so I took the opportunity to beat him to the bathroom. Before long Robbie was showered and ready for the day's adventure and we headed in the direction of North Walsham. He was going to play trains for the day, he likes to do something that he refers to as the drags when we are in Norfolk. By 8am I had delivered him to the station and I was safely back at the bungalow enjoying a nice cup of tea.

I decided to take a drive to Stalham to do a bit of shopping. I bought some lovely treats from the Truly Local shop, strawberries for Robbie, raspberries for me, bread, bread rolls, and tomato focaccia. I popped into a table top sale in the church hall and I bought myself a necklace from a handmade jewellery stall, I really like it, it's made of colourful glass beads with tiny little flowers within the glass. I went back to the bungalow to put the food away and then I took a drive to  Mundesley, it was lovely to enjoy the beach and the sunshine. I had a little look at the shops and sat in the sunshine for a while, then I went to the beach cafe for some lunch. I never tire of the beach cafe, the food is beautifully cooked, the portions are generous and the views across the beach are wonderful. I had fish and chips, it was lovely but it was such a large portion that I couldn't manage to eat it all.

I spent a quiet afternoon back at the bungalow, enjoying the sunshine and catching up with some writing. Robbie sent regular updates throughout the day, his second text of the morning was just one word "Farce!!!" apparently things hadn't gone exactly to plan. Robbie is never deterred for long and he scraped his timetable for the day in favour of Plan B which among other things involved a trip to London. I suppose it is all route knowledge and if it floats his boat why should I stand in his way. I picked him up at 9.45pm. The road from North Walsham to Walcott has lots of twists and turns and at that time of night it was pitch dark, so we took a gentle drive back. On the way I became aware of two sets of eyes at the side of the road and there were two deer looking out at us from the undergrowth. They stood still at the side of the road as we passed, it was a very special moment.

Silently, like thoughts that come and go, the snowflakes fall, each one a gem. ~ William Hamilton Gibson

We woke to find that a dusting of snow had covered our world during the night. By the time I looked out and noticed the snow it was almost 7am and the morning traffic had already reclaimed the road which had a slushy grey appearance in contrast with the white pavements and gardens. The parked cars were still swathed in blankets of white, the snow gave the street a gentler magical appearance but it would not last. Soon the world would be awake and the unspoilt snow would be crushed underfoot and reality would chase away the magic. 

I thought about my daughter who was just leaving the house to drive to her teaching placement in Corby I hoped that she would have a safe journey. My other daughter did not have very far to drive so I was less worried about her and thankfully Robbie was working at home today so I could keep an eye on him and hopefully make sure that he stayed safe. He fell over in the snow just before Christmas when he was working in Darlington and he hurt himself quite badly so I can't help worrying about him.

At about 11am snow began falling again, at first it was not very much but before long it was snowing heavily and it looked as if it had come to stay. I had an earlier start at work than usual,so I had to get all my errands done despite the snow. The roads were a bit slippery but not too bad and I managed to get everything done. The snow seemed to give Robbie a wanderlust and he asked if I could drop him at the station on my way to work. He said he wanted to mix business with pleasure and spend a few hours 'out and about' on the railways. I couldn't say no, I just hoped that he would stay safe and not fall over. He returned safe and sound with some lovely photos.

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event.  You go to bed in one kind of world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?  
                                                        J.B. Priestley

It Wasn't Me!

Well this must be the longest gap in writing since I started writing the blog. Partly it is because I have been involved with an interesting little project which I should be able to write more about in a day or two. Mostly it is because I have been feeling absolutely dire for weeks. It sounds so pathetic to be moaning about having a cough, but this really is a hell of a cough. I have had it for at least four weeks this time and I only had a gap of about four weeks free of the previous cough which lasted for twelve weeks. The doctor says that my lungs are clear the problem seems to be higher up, but we are still investigating the exact cause. It always seems to happen when I get a cold and then I just can't get rid of it. Maybe I have to accept it as a very annoying symptom of my asthma, but to cough to the point of passing out or actually making yourself sick from coughing tends to limit your social life as well as scaring people who witness it. Anyway that is quite enough moaning for today, in fact I have probably used up a whole months ration of moans!

Robbie has been at home for three weeks or so and it has been frustrating that we haven't been able to enjoy doing more things together, but coping with the 'killer cough' and the fact that I still had to go to work got in the way of Robbie's plans. It is a bit of an exaggeration to say that he has been at home, Robbie gets withdrawal symptoms after one day without trains and I start to feel exhausted after a couple of days with Robbie, so when he asks for a lift to the station I am always ready to oblige! He has spent a lot of time on trains in the last few weeks and lots of numbers / routes have been ticked off in his little book!

This is his last week of freedom and he intends to make the most of it. On Sunday he had an HST day travelling to the South West and back. I love the sea wall, but I don't love HSTs so I decided that I would be happier at home. That turned out to be an inspired decision because when Robbie got on the train he discovered that one of the cats had vandalised his best Sennheiser headphones. When exasperated with the cats he always resorts to alliteration, when Oreo upsets him he is a 'furry, blank, fatherless, feline; but this time Bernard was under suspicion so we had a rant on the theme of 'B'.  

He managed a whole day without trains yesterday but he will be heading off on a train later today and he will probably fit several in several more trips during the week. On Friday we are going to York then at the weekend Robbie is off to a special event at the Bodmin and Wenford Railway. 

Out on The Drags

Robbie had persuaded me to give him a day off on Saturday, he wanted to do what he calls 'the drags' which from what I understand involves travelling backwards and forwards on trains all day. On summer Saturdays Greater Anglia run holiday maker trains which allow people to travel from London to Great Yarmouth on a through train. They are called drags because there are no wires between Norwich and Gt Yarmouth so the diesel loco has to pull the train from Norwich. It takes Robbie all day because he likes to get full value from his Rover ticket. Yesterday we had to get up at 6am in order to get him to the station on time, but his legs let him down and he got back much earlier than planned. His pain level has been really bad recently, I hope it will ease off soon because we are running out of options in terms of pain management.

I had a lovely day, the weather was perfect and I had plenty of time to enjoy the beach. I went to Mundesley at lunch time, it was a very enjoyable couple of hours, it was such a lovely day. I also had time to have a nice long chat with 'the other Mrs Jones' I have missed her very much while we have been away.

Dragged By a Rat and Pulled by a Gronk

Robbie was getting withdrawal symptoms after a few days without trains and he was very keen to go to the North Norfolk Railway on Wednesday. We planned to drive to North Walsham and get the train to Sherringham, but the car park was full so we drove to Weybourne instead, it is a nice drive but a bit narrow and scary in places. We were there in time for the 10.44 train that Robbie was keen to catch. 

The highlight of my visit was as always the beautiful station at Weybourne, the amazing bookshop and the incredible toilets - they are a work of art in their own right. One of the benefits of travelling by car and parking at Weybourne was that Robbie was able to buy a whole shopping bag full of books and magazines and we could put them into the car rather than having to carry them around with us.

We travelled between Weybourne, Sherringham and Holt so many time that I can't remember how many trips we made, but we travelled in a selection of Mk 1 carriages, a Kings Cross Suburban coache and a standard corridor coach. There were two engines out for most of the day, a J15 loco and a Black 5, both were amazing in there different ways. Towards the end of the day they had a DMU 101 on the route but one of the engines failed between Sherringham and Weybourne so they had to get a Class 25 type 1 loco off the shed to drag the DMU. Robbie found this unbelievably exciting, but I didn't enjoy being surrounded by badly behaved brats (compartment coaches have a lot to recommend them!). Robbie insisted on staying for the last trip but I escaped at Weybourne to the relative tranquility of the car park, It really is a beautiful station

'The Other Woman'

Last Wednesday Robbie announced on facebook that he was undertaking a very long journey just to spend some time with 'the other woman'.

"05:42 x NMP - TAM/06:39 TAM - DBY/07:13 DBY - DAR/09:30 DAR - MBR/10:38 MBR - GMT - just to spend some time with 'the other woman' lol :D"

I was anxious, not because I was jealous of his 'other woman' - I have always known that I couldn't compete with her for his attention, she is rather awesome to say the least. I was anxious because his legs and back were not so good, and I was scared that he would not cope with a long day 'playing trains'. I think he was a bit worried too, but he is determined not to let his spina bifida stop him doing 'normal' things - and what could be more normal than spending the day with the object of your affection. I was right to be anxious, but I couldn't have foreseen that he would manage to injure himself before he had even left Northampton Station! They put some (allegedly) non slip strips on the stairs to the over bridge not so long ago and they have proved very challenging for passengers, they caused me to stumble a few weeks ago. Unfortunately Robbie fell twice as he was crossing the over bridge he cut his hand badly and acquired a selection of bumps and bruises. If they don't do something about those steps there is going to be a serious accident.

Despite his 'war wounds' Robbie had a nice but very tiring day in the 'deep north' with his first love. I would usually object to him calling a train female, but Royal Scots Grey is powerful, reliable, beautiful and simply the best - so 'she' must be female! 

If the shoe fits, buy it in every color! Author Unknown

Robbie abandoned me again on Wednesday because he'd had a better offer. How can I possibly compete with  his beloved trains, especially when it is something a bit unusual that can't be put off until another day. It would have been nice to have spent the day with him, but he bribed me with the promise that if I let him go he would take me out for lunch on Thursday. I had a nice time without him, I visited one of my favourite shops (but I didn't spend too much!) then I went to the park with my daughter. We bought an ice cream from the van, Gallone's make the best ice cream in the world! It was lovely in the shade of the big horse chestnut trees, we watched the children in the playground and reminisced about how much better the playground equipment used to be before 'health and safety' spoil the fun. She will be 21 in a couple of weeks, I couldn't help smiling when she said that things were so much better in 'her day'. I wonder how she will feel when she is my age.

Robbie kept his promise and took me out for a carvery lunch, it was lovely. We ate outside in a shady spot in the garden, after all those weeks of rain it is lovely to have some sunshine. I waited until after lunch to break the news to him that the cats had scratched his Dr Marten boots! His initial reaction was calm, especially when I offered to take him to the Doc Shop. He was over the moon with his new purchases, some English made pink shoes and some English made black 1461s with yellow stitching. He was more vocal when he got home and spoke to the cat, he called him a fat, furry, fatherless feline (among other things!).

Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.

For the last few days I have been creating extra pages that in due course will be linked to the blog. I have been looking back at old posts in order to select some favourites. It was a surprisingly emotional experience looking back through time to the start of the blog, I wrote the first post on this blog in November 2006. A lot of water has flowed under a lot of bridges since then. 

Reading those old posts has made me realise a few important things. Perhaps the clearest theme running through the posts is that Robbie gets away with murder at times, especially when it comes to abandoning me in favour of his beloved trains. That is mostly my fault for being too accepting of his odd little ways for too long. Reading those old posts has prompted me to make a big decision about my life and Robbie is not going to like it. It is time to take control, we have to de-clutter!! We have too much junk and it is taking up so much room that it will soon be standing room only! I can live with his obsession with the railway, but 'standing room only' is taking things too far.


We are both 'blessed' with the hoarding gene, but in my case it tends to relate mostly to books and to things that hold special memories for me such a as letters, old birthday cards and things that the children made as they grew up. Robbie just hoards, shoes, ties, books, magazines, pens, notebooks, model trains, vinyl records, cds, Lego minifigures .......... The list is endless, but you get the idea. It is time for both of us to bite the bullet and get rid of a lot of the clutter in our lives. It will take time, but it will make things so much easier and it will give us much more space when it is done. So this weekend we will take the first step, two black sacks each sounds like a reasonable start.

'I am still reeling with delight at the soaring majesty of Norfolk.' John Betjeman

It feels as if things have been tough for a long time, worries and problems seem to pop up like mushrooms. Mostly we can deal with them, I'm a fighter, I don't give up, but I do get tired sometimes. It is hard to watch the gradual decline of a family member and it is even harder to to find the time and energy to offer appropriate support. Other problems are a different sort of battle, time consuming, exhausting, but with right on our side, dogged determination and persistence, I am sure that things will work out in the end. Worries or not we still do our best to enjoy the fun  and challenges of family life. Life is here and now so we can't let it slip through our fingers.

We has some exciting and unexpected news last weekend. It will be possible for us to go to Norfolk on holiday after all. When we went to the bungalow last year we thought it would be the last time we would be able to stay there. The person who owned it, a family friend had been very ill for a long time and his family were not sure about the future of the bungalow. Sadly he died recently but his wife has offered us the chance to rent the bungalow again this summer. It has really cheered me up, it is lovely to have something to look forward to, I love the bungalow and that part of Norfolk holds a very special place in my heart.

Robbie is very excited about another holiday in Norfolk, he loves it there too. He has already planned a couple of trips to the North Norfolk Railway, a trip to Norwich to have a look at Crown Point, a day out 'doing the drags' on the middle weekend, the list goes on and on! I have already had to remind him that there are only 14 days in a fortnight and he has to leave himself time for his other favourite pastime, watching the ship with his binoculars. Once a 'spotter' always a spotter!!

In A Word

Robbie is more into facebook than I am. Being 'old' I only add friends that I know in real life and I don't update my status unless I have something meaningful to say. Robbie on the other hand writes about anything and everything - mostly trains. His almost daily bulletins on the state of the toilets on the London Midland services that he travels on generate considerable debate, only Robbie could cause people to get so passionate about toilets!

On Monday he asked his friends on facebook to describe him in just one word. I found the results very interesting, I think his friends were rather kind to him, but from their choice of words it seems they know him fairly well. Have a look at the diagram and see what you think - by the way it was me who summed him up with the word 'impossible'.

A Boy Called Sarah?

Robbie has been promising (or threatening) for weeks that he would take me on a charter trip so that I could experience the ‘wonder’ of Sarah Siddons, the oldest electric locomotive still in traffic. Today was ‘the day’ but when I woke up at some ungodly hour, I told Robbie that I would rather stay in bed. He was not a happy chap, he stomped off and came back bearing a cup of tea to find me still half asleep. When bribery didn’t work, he stamped his foot like Rumpelstiltskin. I am not sure if it was a war dance or a rain dance but it got my attention. Somewhat reluctantly I left my lovely warm duvet and prepared to face rush hour on the railway.

We had no problem finding a parking space at Northampton and after a quick visit to what turned out to be by far the best station toilets all day, we were on our way, heading towards Milton Keynes. We changed there for a Southern service to Harrow and Whealdstone, it was an OK sort of journey except for the catastrophe when I visited the toilet. It was compact in the extreme, I put my hands under the hand wash thingy and it dispensed a large dollop of soap onto my hands, then nothing at all, I tried everything but there was no water! I tried to wipe the soap off my hands with toilet paper, but the paper just stuck to my hands. I returned to my seat leaving a trail of soapy finger marks and attempted to clean my hand with hand sanitizer and wet wipes, but the soap made the wet wipes lather and it got worse rather than better. By the time I was able to wash my hands in the shopping centre at Harrow, there were stinging and sore.

When we reached Harrow and Whealdstone we had to get a bus to Harrow on the Hill. We found a bus with a driver who did not speak English, judging by the price he charged us he must have thought we wanted to buy the bus rather than travel the short distance to Harrow on the Hill! I expected Harrow to be rather posh but the places we saw looked a bit grim and ‘unloved’.

We got to Harrow on the Hill Station to find that the ‘the socks and sandals brigade’ were out in force and wearing their ‘winter uniform’ – I have never seen such a display of dodgy footwear in my life! In fact when I saw such a large gathering of the the gathering of the ‘weird and wonderful’ I had an almost irresistible urge to run . They ranged from the quietly confused through various categories of weirdness to the downright odd. Robbie had to hold on to me to stop me making a dash for freedom. Sarah Siddons was late, but eventually it arrived – I refuse to call a loco that turns up late and breaks down a lot ‘she’ when it is so obviously male!

We found some seats in a compartment and soon we were joined by a chap with a big simile and thankfully few words who liked class 37s. I could have cope with him but my ‘weird magnet’ was working overtime and two seriously strange bods from the South West came to sit next to me. They talked incessantly about quail maps and sections of track that they’d ‘had’. They made it sound like notches on their bedposts! It did not surprise me that they both turned out to be single! I did what any sane person does in such circumstances; I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

At Amersham I was entrusted with everyone’s bags, it was like lemming year! There was a mass exodus of men and cameras all hoping to get the perfect shot of Sarah Siddons. As I gazed out of the window at crowds of men milling around carrying cameras with formidable lenses, I couldn’t help wondering if train spotters like trombone players are over compensating for their deficiencies in other areas. After two trips from Harrow on the Hill to Amersham and back I was allowed to escape to the relative sanity of a normal service to Aylesbury. I hadn’t really enjoyed the experience, I was bored and trapped and I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. Robbie said that perhaps I just don’t like electric locos, perhaps not, to me it just felt unreal and uninteresting, like a theme park ride with added weirdness. I think I prefer proper rail tours with interesting people and (preferably) diesels.

Aylesbury offered the worst station toilets of the day, they seemed fairly new but they were so badly designed that you had to straddle the toilet in order to shut the cubicle door. The tap that claimed to be the cold tap produced such a powerful burst of uncomfortably hot water that it soaked my top! Why is it so had to provide clean adequate toilet facilities? It may not sound important but passengers remember when companies/stations can’t even get the basics right.

We came back via Marylebone on a Chiltern service. That proved to be the greatest disappointment of the day. It was rubbish, the toilets were in a disgraceful state, no toilet paper, filthy seat, overflowing bin, floor flooded and a broken dryer. Also there was no air con and it was so uncomfortable when we were delayed by about an hour that my asthma played up. There was no wifi, some of the sockets were not working, there was a distinct lack of useful announcements, people had to get refunds for their tea and coffee because the milk was off and the train manager failed to apologise for the delay. The seats were very badly designed, impossible to get in and out of and very uncomfortable. I will steer clear of Chiltern from now on.

The best bit of my whole day was the Virgin Pendolino that we caught on the way home, it was absolutely perfect. We had to get the London Midland service from Rugby, but for once London Midland excelled themselves, it was one of the more comfortable ‘blue’ trains, the toilets were working and it was a pleasant trip back to Northampton.

Every now and then go away and have a little relaxation. To remain constantly at work will diminish your judgement. - Leonardo DaVinci

Robbie had a plan to get up early and drive to North Walsham to catch the train to Sherringham to spend another day on the North Norfolk Railway. All this rushing around to catch trains is getting suspiciously like our normal routine, I would have liked our holiday to have been less 'timetabled' but I guess that life with Robbie means that almost everything is timetabled! I was very pleased when late on Saturday evening he decided that he would rather go out for Sunday lunch than go to the railway. Like Scooby Doo he will do almost anything for food..

It was a lovely sunny day and we had a leisurely morning listening to the Archers and enjoying the luxury of time. By midday we were at a restaurant in Mundsley having Sunday lunch. The vegetables were served in a dish, cabbage, peas, carrots and leeks, but Robbie rejected all of them and tucked into roast pork, apple sauce, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes and lashings of gravy. Oh well, at least I enjoyed the vegetables!

After lunch we decided to go for a drive and I surprised Robbie by driving him to Weybourne so that he could visit the station bookshop. I let the sat nav guide me to Weybourne, it was a lovely journey but there were lots of twists and turns and it was scarily narrow in places. We got a lovely view of a windmill and there were beautiful costal views.

Robbie spent an eternity choosing books and magazines and he darted around taking photos of the trains. He was like a kid in a sweet shop, books, magazines and trains, he didn't know what to do first! We came home with a bag of magazines, books, maps and catalogues, and Robbie has spent most of the evening reading.

Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly - Epictetus

Why do I have to wake up at 6am when I am on holiday? The things I do for a quiet life! Robbie absolutely had to go out at the crack of dawn to play trains, so I had to get up and take him to the station. The journey to the station at North Walsham is very pleasant if you have time to get there, but as always Robbie cut it rather fine so I had a stressful drive to the station. All was well in the end, he caught the train and I had a whole day to myself.

We had been promised a nicer day today - so it rained! I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had rained from the start, but it waited until I had hung all my washing out and then it rained. The rain didn’t last too long, before long it was replaced by sunshine, so I was able to get the washing dry after all.

Unfortunately the sunny afternoon brought unexpected perils. The chap who lives next door is rather difficult to like, he is thoughtless, noisy and always so pleased with himself. I have no idea why he feels so smug, perhaps he doesn’t possess a mirror, he has what my mum would call ‘a face to go ratting with’ and the body of a Moomin. I didn’t notice him when he went off for a swim but when he and his cronies came back from the beach the full ‘glory’ of his outfit was unmissable. Somehow he had poured himself into speedos! To add insult to injury he cavorted around the garden in just his speedos for the rest of the afternoon. Honestly, it shouldn’t be allowed, that man is a danger to shipping!

Robbie had to be picked up from the station at North Walsham and he chattered on and on about his day on the railway. I just can’t make him understand that I am not really interested, but Robbie has a knack of giving far too much information and not just when it comes to trains! The main thing is that he’d enjoyed his day. When we got back we had a nice walk on the beach and then a lovely quiet evening, the sea looked beautiful tonight, it was almost silver in the moonlight.

Railway termini are our gates to the glorious and the unknown. Through them we pass out into adventure and sunshine, to them, alas! we return - E. M. Forster

The weather forecast for Norfolk told us to expect a heavy rain today so I wasn’t in too much of a hurry to get up, but when I looked out of the window it was sunny so Robbie decided that we should get organised and go to the North Norfolk Railway. Suddenly our life was set on fast forward and somehow we managed to catch the 10.13am train from North Walsham to Sheringham. It is a pleasant journey with some lovely costal views and for a time I was happy to stare out of the window lost in my own thoughts, but after a while I chatted to Robbie about various things. As we pulled into Cromer I sensed that Robbie was not really listening, he seemed to be on auto pilot so I casually mentioned that there was a tiger on the platform, the man sitting opposite looked a bit worried, but Robbie just said ‘yes dear’. I wish he would drag his attention from that blackberry for five minutes!

I enjoyed the North Norfolk Railway. For me the highlight of the day was a visit to the Ladies loo at Weyborne Station. It is a lovely little station, very clean and beautifully kept, it is clear from the many little details that this is a labour of love for all those involved in running this station. The ladies toilets are amazing, very old fashioned with heavy wooden doors, but they are kept spotlessly clean and the walls are decorated with metal posters. The area around the sink is fascinating, like a mini museum, there is a big display case on the wall above the sink filled with all sorts of interesting items and to the side is a display of old money and various other interesting posters. It makes a visit to the ladies a very pleasant and memorable experience.

Robbie enjoyed taking photos, looking at all the stock in their yard and of course travelling on the trains between Sherringham, Weybourne and Holt. His rucksack got heavier as the day went on because he bought a number of magazines from the wide selection of back numbers available at the shop. I enjoyed the views on the trip to Holt and I liked the compartment coaches, it felt like travelling back in time. Robbie wants to go back again on Sunday, I don’t really mind. However if he thinks he is dragging me out to travel behind 47s between Norwich and Great Yarmouth all day on Saturday he can think again, he can go on his own, I have better things to do.

The Art of A Good Argument

The fact that Robbie and I argue will come as no surprise to regular readers of the blog, but the things that we argue about are perhaps a little more surprising. I listened to a discussion on the radio recently about the causes of arguments within relationships and I realised that Robbie and I argue about some very strange things compared to other people. So I decided to come up with a list, and looking back at the blog has revealed lots of evidence too..

The gender of God - Robbie is convinced that God is male, rather formal and definitely C of E, my understanding of God is considerably different. If Robbie gets too pompous about it I tell him that God is female and he loses it completely!   Sunday Morning Musings

The merits or otherwise of Ken Livingstone - This subject crops up when Robbie wants to provoke an argument, he knows exactly which buttons to press to get a reaction and it always works. The mere mention of that odious little man sends my blood pressure sky high and totally ruins my day. Red and Green, Not Fit to Be Seen

The fridge - Robbie is the self appointed ruler of the fridge. It has to be set out his way and he even expects me to buy condiments and such like in the correct size to fit in the spaces that he has designated for them. He is destined to be a very disappointed man because I do as I like!
The Fridge Police  Fitting In  King of the Fridge

Supermarket shopping - Supermarket shopping together is a very dangerous activity because it is very likely to lead to arguments. Robbie likes to push the trolley, to organise the trolley so that the items are stacked in the correct manner (according to him), to dictate the size shape and brand of item purchased and to be in complete control of the order the items are put through the checkout. There have been occasions when we have almost come to blows and on several memorable occasions he has danced with fury!  Survival - Against The Odds!

Trains come first - I shouldn't really complain, Robbie has never made any secret of the fact that he lives, breathes and sleeps trains, but there are occasions when it would be really nice if he could put me first just for a few minutes. In Disgrace Again 

Waking me up  - I really wish that I could make him understand how annoying it is to be woken up. He may be able to go to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, but if he wakes me up it takes me ages to get back to sleep. Of all the things that we argue about I find this the most hurtful because it is so thoughtless.  Tiredness Can Kill


What to wear - Robbie is so conventional in some ways, but when it comes to clothes he is unique, in fact I sometimes wonder about his sanity. The clothes he wears are a bit like him, loud, startling and a bit crazy - need I say more! I believe passionately in freedom of choice - my freedom to choose not to go out with him looking like that!! Human Rights


Hoarding - Both of us are hoarders, we both hoard different things for different reasons and it often leads to conflict. I have written countless posts about Robbie and his love of clutter, so it seems only fair to link to posts that explain what I hoard and why. Confessions of a Hoarder  Parting with Memories

Being tactless - Robbie has an unfortunate habit of speaking his thoughts and it can get him into big trouble at times Questions Questions 

Lack of awareness - Robbie is very lovable, but he has a complete lack of awareness of the way that his actions impact on those around him - mostly me!
Give Him an Inch and He Takes a Mile! 


The Location of the North - This is a matter of fierce debate. Having grown up in Northamptonshire I know that the North starts at Watford Gap but Robbie grew up in Staffordshire and he gets extremely annoyed when I say that he is from the north. We have a similar debate about the Midlands, Robbie thinks that the Midlands means Birmingham, but I keep telling him that Northamptonshire is classed as East Midlands while the whole area around Birmingham is the West Midlands. If yo really want a reaction from Robbie tell him that he has a Birmingham accent - and then run very fast!! I cant tell the difference but he insists that his Walsall accent is completely different.


Burial or Cremation - This is something that we will never agree about. When the time comes I want to be cremated because I think it is cleaner and more responsible, but Robbie wants to be planted. If he really annoys me I tell him that he will have to make sure he outlives me if he wants to get his own way, but he knows that if it came to it I would of course respect his wishes.

Some of these things are fairly trivial but some we could almost fight to the death over. Maybe that is why the blog is so useful, it helps me to get it out of my system without harming him! Some people say it is healthy to argue, it is better than not communicating at all and it is fun making up afterwards!

There's weird and then there's Warley!

A few months ago Robbie asked me if I would like to go to a model railway exhibition with him in November. He must have caught me at a weak moment because I agreed without hesitation. I am quite interested in Robbie's model railway collection - I don't have much choice really because they are taking over the bedroom! In previous years the thought of the crowds has put me off (I really struggle with crowds) but this year I braved it.

I thought Robbie's back pain would stop us going, but he was determined not to miss it because he had been looking forward to it for months. We got up stupidly early on Saturday morning and headed towards the station, before long we were sitting comfortably on a train enjoying a bacon roll and a cup of tea (coffee in Robbie's case). We spotted a number of other passengers who seemed to be heading for the same destination - how did we know, well they had train spotter written all over them! It was a bit too chilly for even the hardiest among them to contemplate socks and sandals, but there were plenty of beards and bellies in evidence!

When we got to the NEC we were herded into a rather disorderly crowd by one frantic man with a walkie talkie, and just before 9.30am the crowd moved forward and down the stairs and a few minutes later we were in the hall and wondering what to look at first. Robbie was like a kid in a sweetshop, he wanted to dash off in all directions at once. At one of the first stands we looked at he saw a Heljan Class 17 Clayton that proved too hard to resist, he looked at a few more stands before dashing back to blow his whole budget on the Clayton.

I managed to hang on to my money for a little longer. I was so tempted by the Ivor the Engine products, I love Ivor the Engine and I did go back and buy a couple of Ivor books later on. I could have spent a fortune, but since I didn't have a fortune to spend I manages to keep more or less within my budget. I saw loads of things that I really liked especially a Virgin Voyager set (so if Santa is reading this please take note). I spent most of my budget on books, I just couldn't resist them, there was one about Victorian and Edwardian carriage design, one about the history of the circus train, another about the railways during the war and Robbie's favourite 'Rails around Walsall'. In a weak moment I agreed to let Robbie buy loads of back copies of magazines. Before long I was weighed down with bags and I felt as if my arms would be stretched right down to my knees!

I was surprised how easy it was to lose Robbie in the crowd - but he kept finding me again! I found it very exhausting and by about 11.30am Robbie was struggling to cope with leg and back pain and I was tired, so we decided to go to York on the train. We could eat our packed lunch in comfort and enjoy looking through our new books. It was a really nice day. When we finally caught the train back to Northampton we were in for a nice surprise at Rugby, Tornado (60163) was sitting in platform 5 on it's return journey from working a rail tour. Our train was full with many people standing, lots of people were coming back from Warley and it was fascination to see all the different types of people who become obsessed with all things railway. Robbie told me off for staring, but I couldn't help it I had never seen anything like it in my life - so many variations on a theme. Robbie's quote of the day - 'there's weird and then there's Warley!'

Decisions, Decisions.

It seems as if the blog has focussed a lot on aches and pains recently, I try not to sound too gloomy, but as I write about the ordinary events of family life it is hard to avoid writing about something as important as Robbie's struggle with back and leg pain. Over recent years his legs have misbehaved more and more frequently (that is true of the rest of him too - but that's another story!). He has written off so many pairs of trousers and jackets, but every cloud has a silver lining - I suspect he is single-handedly responsible for the improvement in Marks and Spencer's profits.

For quite a long time I have been trying to persuade Robbie to take his health more seriously and to make some adjustments in his life to make things a little easier. To be honest I get more attention when I talk to the dog (and she is deaf!) but finally we have reach the point where Robbie has had to take stock and admit that even a superhero would struggle to cope with the wide range of commitments that he was trying to cope with.

As well as a demanding job and a difficult journey to work every day, he had his rail tours, gigs, various union responsibilities, family commitments, a demanding wife, and one or two other little diversions that he would kill me if I mentioned on the b

log (yes even worse than milk floats!). Anyway Robbie has reluctantly admitted that he has to put his health and his family first. Sometimes just getting to work is a real struggle, but he never gives up, he loves his job, and he puts his heart and soul into his work, so that has to come first, before any of his other activities. He loves his trains too, I am sure if he had to choose between me and a deltic he would the deltic! Never mind, I know my place! He couldn't give up his trains and his rail tours, it would be cruel to expect him to do that, but he has promised to be more realistic about how much he can do.

So that leaves gigs and the union. In his heart Robbie knows that gigs will not figure very much in his future, but he isn't quite ready to put that into words. He would't be able to stand for that long and that ridiculous bouncing up and down thing that he used to do has to stay firmly in the past. I know it is hard, but I am sure we can find other ways for him to enjoy his music (I use the term music in it's broadest sense, to me the stuff he likes is just noise). The union was the most difficult decision of all. I make no secret of the fact that I disapprove of his union involvement, but I love Robbie and I am proud of the work he has done to support his colleagues in many different ways. Recently he has been very unhappy and stressed because there have been times when his health has stopped him from fulfilling his union responsibilities and there have been even more times

when his union work has encroached on his paid work to an unacceptable degree. In the end the union pressures were too much to cope with and something had to give. It was such a hard decision but Robbie has finally decided to step aside from his union roles and let others take their turn.

So if you see Robbie he could use a few friendly words because it has been a difficult few weeks, but beware, he doesn't like people to make a fuss so a dodgy joke or a chat about trains would be

far more welcome than an excess of sympathy. He may have had to face a few setbacks, but in his head he still thinks he is Superman!

Red Faced

Today was a lovely day in every sense, it was sunny and warm with just enough breeze to make it comfortable. Robbie and I were able to enjoy the luxury of having nothing to do and no reason to rush anywhere. It is so nice to just be on our own for a few days, we really should make time for ourselves more often.

We decided to take a drive to Mundesley and on the way Robbie announced that they were probably having a lovely quiet week at work without him. Perhaps they are, but I am sure he will make up for lost time when he gets back! This morning a casual glance out of the car window set him off on a long and detailed monologue about the history and evolution of water towers, so I am sure he will treat everyone at work to that little gem when he returns.

We had a very happy and chilled time in Mundesley, in fact I was so chilled that I agreed to Robbie having onion rings with his lunch - so we had to drive with the car window open on the way back. We took a slight diversion to Tesco to pick up a few essentials, all was going well until we got to the section with the toiletries and Robbie held up a product and very loudly discussed my requirements. There are some things that you just don't want to draw attention to - unless you are Robbie. I decided to do without the product for now and I made a dash for the checkouts to avoid further embarrassment.

I love spending quality time with Robbie, but a fortnight of undiluted Robbie may be a bit much even for me. So I am sending him off for some respite at the weekend - he will be playing trains among other things.

A Day We Had Been Dreading

This turned out to be the day that we have been dreading for what seems like a very long time. Robbie's friend Chris died this morning. We knew that this would be the ultimate outcome, and no one wanted to prolong his suffering but when the time comes none of that makes it feel any better. This is a terrible loss for his family and for his friends.

Chris was a very good friend to Robbie, in fact he probably understood Robbie better than anyone else ever will. They shared an interest in music, they would often go into Birmingham at lunchtime and come back with vinyl records and cds. They had a similar or at least an overlapping taste in music and they liked to go to gigs. Their shared interests didn't end there, they both shared a passion for the railways. For Robbie, Chris was the sort of friend who comes along once in a lifetime, he will be deeply missed and he will never be forgotten.