Shopping for the Cat

Robbie has his funny little ways. I have written before about him talking to the animals and even attempting to teach the cats to tell the time, but it is becoming silly now. He has taken the Dr Doolittle thing one step further, he now claims to speak for the cats! He really doesn't need to, both cats are quite capable of making their feelings very clear. When Robbie is cross with Oreo he hides under the bath (the cat not Robbie, Robbie wouldn't fit under the bath!) but Dave stands his ground and swears back and if Robbie points at him Dave raises his paw to remind Robbie that what he lacks in teeth he makes up for in claws! Dave is my cat and as far as he is concerned Robbie should know his place. He hates Robbie to sit next to me or to hug me and if Robbie is brave enough to try Dave pushes his way between us and sits there defiantly until Robbie moves away. I accept that Dave can communicate eloquently with Robbie and I understand they both have more than a passing interest in food, but this is going too far. According to Robbie, Dave prefers me to buy his cat food from Tesco (not my usual supermarket), he would prefer it to be in a foil tray rather than in a pouch and he would like more of the fish flavours and less of the meat flavours. Apparently his lack of teeth makes our usual brand of cat food a bit of an effort for him. Really? I find that hard to believe, this is the cat who can steal and eat a whole sausage, he likes nothing better than climbing into the bin to forage for treats and when we bring the shopping home he will rip open anything that takes his fancy if we take our eyes off him for a second. I suspect Dave's sudden interest in supermarket shopping has more to do with Robbie's preferences than the cat's! 

Guilty Pleasures?

I had a very interesting discussion with one of my offspring when we were driving in the other day. It is worthy of note because most of the time all I get is one grunt for yes and two for no, so it is reassuring to find that they can manage more than a growl when the mood takes them. The subject under discussion was teenage angst, I have to be fair, none of my children have given me too much grief during their teens, it is just that teenagers are hard work. I joked that I had missed out because I was too well behaved in my teens, so I plan to enjoy a mid life crisis instead. There was a deep sigh from the back of the car, "Mother, you have already had it, it's called Robbie!" 


When I clicked on the list of blog topic suggestions that I sometimes use, the subject that I was given to write about was was Guilty Pleasures. At first I thought no way, I can't write about that, but I don't give up easily and I decided to to take up the challenge. Robbie doesn't have any guilty pleasures, he has plenty of pleasures but he doesn't really do guilt. I will not list all his pleasures it would be a mix of  X rated and terminally boring stuff, and I have I have written about most of them on the blog in the past. So it is confession time, I am the one with guilty pleasures.


Dave is my greatest pleasure, in some ways he is a lot like Robbie, he is warm and affectionate, and he is very determined. They both love their food and come to think of it they both have some pretty disgusting habits! They have a number of differences too, Dave doesn't abandon me in favour of a train, he always has time for me and he likes nothing better than to snuggle up next to me. He may be just a cat but he is very special to me.


I think most of my other guilty pleasures involve spending money  that I can't really justify. I am not high maintenance when it comes to clothes or shoes (that's Robbie!) and I don't spend a lot on having my hair cut or styled. I can't waste my life messing about with my hair, I prefer a practical easy care style. Books are my weakness, I cold spend a fortune on books and I get very possessive about my books, I will not part with them. 


I have a passion for paints too, not the sort that you paint walls with, I mean artists paints. I love to paint and always want the best quality paints, I could never have enough paints, brushes, paper or any kind of art/craft materials. Good quality paper is a must, it is an extortionate price, so yes buying art materials is a guilty pleasure.


I often write about Robbie's love of Polish Jaffa Cakes, dripping  and various other types of food.  I must admit that my likes and dislikes are a bit unusual too. I love liver and bacon with rich thick gravy so much that sometimes I have a craving for it. I am the only one in the family who likes liver, so having it seems rather self indulgent, but from time to time I give in to my cravings. It seems that Robbie has had a life long aversion to anything green or healthy, so he is completely mystified by my love of runner beans, spinach, swede, beetroot and tomatoes. 


I do have a few other guilty pleasures, but you can't expect me to tell you everything. The only one that I am willing to admit to is John Major, I have a bit of a soft spot for him. It is true that he has a face best suited to radio, but I like the way he speaks, I think he is a powerful and sincere speaker. I have to confess to a sneaky admiration because he got his own back on his critics, misbehaving with Edwina Currie shows that he wasn't such a grey man after all!

Dr Dolittle

I am used to Robbie having long conversations with the cats and he invests a lot of effort into teaching them to tell the time. On Friday evening I witnessed a conversation between Robbie and Dave the cat. Dave had been fussing around asking to be fed and Robbie pointed up at the kitchen clock and said "when the big hand is on twelve it will be feeding time". Dave is very good communicator, his expression and his body language was more eloquent than any hand signal. He stalked off into the lounge and settled down by the fire, he preferred to examine his nether regions than to have yet another lecture on telling the time from Robbie.

The big hand finally got to 12 and true to his word Robbie fed the animals. Afterwards Dave had the devil in him and he did a couple of things to annoy Robbie, he tried to steal Robbie's food and then he sat on some newly folded laundry. When it comes to food Robbie is not good at sharing, dressed only in his underwear he pursued Dave around the lounge and the kitchen flapping a tea towel at him and telling him that he doesn't steal Dave's food and he doesn't intend to share his with Dave! Robbie chased Dave up the stairs and I heard a series of expletives emanating from the bathroom. Obviously Robbie had given up on teaching him to tell the time and was now giving him a lesson in colloquial English! Robbie announced that Dave had hidden behind the bath (I didn't really blame him) but suddenly Robbie thundered down the stairs waving an aerosol can. Dave darted into the lounge in search of protection and I told Robbie to put the can down and behave himself. I am used to acting as referee in spats between Sam and Robbie (at times it is like having two teenagers), but having a row with a cat is a step too far!

What Goes Up Must Come Down

When I went into the kitchen at lunchtime yesterday I thought I heard a couple of rustling sounds near the fridge. I had a good look at the side of the fridge as we have had intruders before, once a hedgehog came into the utility room through the cat flap and on another occasion a toad came in. I couldn't find any sign of any visitors and I thought I must be imagining the noise.

I forgot all about it until I went back into the kitchen later there was dried cat food all over the floor and something definitely moved above my head. It was Dave sitting on top of the fridge freezer looking down on me. He had got up there somehow and tipped over the very expensive senior version of dry cat food. The package was still on top of the freezer but it was almost empty, as well as having a feast he had showered food down onto the floor much to the delight of Oreo and Meg.

Dave celebrated his second anniversary in November, I can't believe it is that long since he found us. I love that cat so much and even when he gets into mischief I can't stay cross for long. He is an old cat but I hope he has a few more years with us.

More Cat Trouble.

This morning Robbie got up and went down to feed the cats as usual, but Dave was nowhere to be found. I thought perhaps he was hiding because that three letter word beginning with 'v' was mentioned yesterday and if he gets a hint that he is going there he hides. I wasn't too bothered because his appointment is not until Wednesday morning so I thought he would come out of hiding in due course.

I went out of the front door shortly before Robbie was due to leave the house and I found a gift laid out on the door step, a nice juicy dead mouse! Robbie recoiled in horror and I despatched it to a better place (the dustbin). As soon as I saw the mouse I knew that Dave must have got out somehow, he doesn't go out because of his poorly feet and he is usually very happy to stay at home. I went out looking under cars and in sheltered spots for him, but there was no sign of him. Laura and Sam searched all over the house for him without success and I became increasingly worried about him. I kept checking the street and the garden but there was no trace of him. Then at about 11am there was a strange light knocking noise at the front door. I opened the door and in walked Dave as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He swore menacingly at Oreo as he walked past him, he went to the kitchen for a late breakfast, then after a quick wash he settled in his favourite spot to enjoy the sunshine. Hopefully he will not feel the need to go off on any on any more adventures.

Leaving Home? 29.11.07

Oreo went to visit the vet this morning for his check up to ensure that he is in good health and that the bits that he is soon to part with are properly developed. He was not amused at having his nether region poked and prodded, but when the vet took his temperature I thought his eyes were going to pop out. He was rather subdued on the way home, but as soon as I mentioned food his traumatic morning was suddenly forgotten. After his meal he wandered off to curl up with a good book, judging by the title he may be planning to leave home. The deed is scheduled for next Thursday, perhaps he understood that there was worse to come but I suspect it was the word starve that troubled him most!

What a Difference a Week Makes 25.11.07

Here is a picture of the cat, as you can see he is looking better already. His face looks a bit odd because the right side had to be shaved, and you can see the ulcerated pad on his back foot, the other back foot is like that too but it doesn't stop him walking around. In fact he is surprisingly agile especially if someone mentions food! He has now worked out the pecking order with Megan and Oreo, it is quite simple really, he's the boss!
He does surprisingly well with just 4 teeth, he eats his meals very fast and there is absolutely no chance of the other two nicking his food. It is much more likely that he would finish his own and then shove Megan out of the way and have a go at hers, she is such a wimp! He bit me yesterday because he doesn't like having his sore feet bathed, I was rather grateful for his lack of teeth because it just tickled. He gives Oreo a meaningful clip around the ear if he gets too pushy and Oreo gets the message loud and clear!

Nose, Rudolph, Christmas, 12.10.07

The man from Tesco delivered the 'European Cat Food Mountain' yesterday and I now have a huge pile of boxes and an ever hungry cat in the kitchen. The one factor that Robbie missed was that Oreo seems to see it as a challenge, he is quite certain he could manage to eat it all in one day, so he is constantly meowing to ask us to open it! If that cat was human he would probably eat even more than Robbie! Oreo has set up his own branch of Neighbourhood Watch. He spends a large part of each day perched on the back of the sofa looking out of the window to make sure that nobody walks on his pavement without his permission.

Robbie sent me a really random email yesterday, it contained all sorts of fascinating (and useless) facts including that elephants cannot jump, polar bears are all left handed, a duck's quack has no echo, a cockroach can live for 9 days without it's head, a starfish has no brain, the strongest muscle in the body is the tongue and a pig's orgasm lasts for thirty minutes. I can easily be convinced that the tongue is the strongest muscle (especially in Robbie's case). I had always thought the heart was the strongest muscle but perhaps that is a collection of muscles. I suspect all these 'facts' were written by a man, after all can you imagine a woman chopping of the head of a cockroach to see how long it survives? As for the pig's orgasm, did anyone actually ask the sow? There again if she has to put up with a dozen or more piglets she ought to get some pleasure out of the deal! Left handed polar bears, whatever did they observe polar bears doing to work that one out!

I made sure that Robbie got to bed safely last night, but I regretted my effort when he decided to read to me from NME, I don't like music (certainly not the weird stuff he likes) and at almost 1am I was even less interested! Just occasionally I wish Robbie was a little more 'normal'.

Shopaholic. 10.10.07

We certainly have an exciting life! This evening was a little more tranquil than yesterday and Robbie had time to show me the full glory of his new bag. He brought it into the lounge to show me the concealed handle and the various height positions, he then demonstrated how easily it can be carried with the shoulder strap, but the best was yet to come. He plunged the room into darkness to demonstrate the light that is clipped to the inside of the bag, and thanks to a retractable lead the light can be directed into any of the many pockets. Finally he showed me the drink holder and as always he provided intricate details. I was starting to think that there is only so much enthusiasm that one person (even Robbie) can express about a briefcase without attracting unwanted attention from men in white coats! I was wrong, when he suddenly discovered a concealed pencil case in the bag, I thought he was going to burst with excitement. I shouldn't moan, at least he seems to have accepted the need for a briefcase on wheels.

I hardly had time to recover from all that excitement before the main entertainment of the evening began. I told Robbie about a BOGOF offer on cat food at Tesco and I had also found a code to get £10 off the order for home delivery. Robbie loves to shop, even for cat food and we are now expecting a delivery of 20 boxes of Oreo's favourite food between 9pm and 11pm tomorrow night! I was coping well up to that point, and even joked about him needing to build an extension, but when he announced that he intended to order another 20 boxes tomorrow I started to panic. After the first order Oreo will have 160 pouches of food, we couldn't possibly store any more! I don't think there can possibly be anyone else quite like Robbie