I have to acknowledge that I have a weakness, if Robbie wants something I find it very hard to tell him that he can't have it. I have always tried to do my very best for all my family, seeing them happy makes me happy. The difference is that Robbie wants some very odd things at times. I know that I am old and boring - my 'nearest and dearest' remind me of that often enough, but I think most people would admit that Robbie has a rather unique fashion sense, and I really don't have the words to describe his approach to colour, the only word that springs to mind is 'loud'.
Yesterday he announced that his Berghaus jacket has seen better days and it is time to get a new one. He told me he had seen a nice green one and he sent me a link so that I could look at it online. I was pleasantly surprised, it was a deep olive green, it would have looked appropriate with smart clothes but it would have looked good with casual clothes too. I told him that I liked the colour and he looked surprised. He mentioned that I don't like green, but I said that I didn't mind olive green. He looked even more surprised, then he announced that I was looking at the wrong colour. My heart sank when he directed me to his chosen colour - it was pea green! I begged him to reconsider but he said it was beautiful. I only recall one instance of pea green being described as beautiful. In Edward Lear's poem the Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat - but they were a very odd pair! As far as I am concerned pea-green looks good on peas, but on anything or anyone else it is a mistake.
I spent the rest of the evening trying to change his mind but I was wasting my breath. Can you imagine what it would look like if he wore that on one of 'rancid green machines' He would clash with the train and scare the passengers! So this is a plea to the select few who have more influence with Robbie than I do (you know who you are). Please take pity on me and persuade him to choose a different colour.
Over the years many people have asked me why I write the blog, Usually I tell them that it stops me from harming Robbie because writing things down helps to get it out of my system. That is only part of the truth, I have written a blog for many years now and before that I used to write a diary. Mostly it is for me, because writing helps me to process things and it is a nice way to preserve nice memories and to remember the little details of life that are so quickly forgotten. The other day Robbie told me that one of his friends who is a regular reader of the blog had told him that one thing comes through loud and clear - that I love Robbie very much. I'm pleased about that. Maybe we are a bit of an unconventional couple, but it works and that is all that matters.
All the coverage about leap year made me wonder what I was doing on Feb 29th on previous leap years and how much things have changed. This was my blog post from Feb 29th 2004, our 'nameless' son was 9 then.
"the 'son with no name' gave me the most extraordinary reason to avoid having a bath, apparently if children are clean witches can smell the children but if they are dirty the witches just smell the dirt and the children are safe. I was tempted to point out to him that with all his aftershave, body spray and deodorant a witch would have problems breathing, never mind smelling! He claims that he got this information from reading The Witches by Roald Dahl, he was a bit obsessed by the book a while ago. Last year he became convinced that a teacher at his school was a witch because she had a little mole or wart at the side of her nose. No one could convince him that he was wrong and for the whole year he lived in fear of her turning him into a mouse. The problem has been solved this year because that teacher does not teach him.
'the nameless one' had a very stern talk with me this morning. It seems he finds his nicknames embarrassing (he has several), he has insisted that I must not reveal his nicknames to anyone else and I must only ever call him by his own name or Flash! I will try my best, but old habits are hard to break".
How times change! We can't get him out of the bathroom now. As far as I know, he he doesn't give a passing thought to witches these days, and he has survived to the ripe old age of 17 without being turned into a mouse. Remembering not to use his embarrassing nickname is still a struggle for me, but these days he would kill me if I called him Flash! That was the name he adopted during his 'spy phase' something which he does not wish to be reminded of.
Most of all the old diary entry reminds me that times change and people change too, sometimes life is tough, but we are a strong family because there is a lot of love and we accept each other as we are, unconventional and unique. I am glad that our son is confident enough to be himself, it is hard growing up with Asperger syndrome and I am very proud of the way he copes.
Robbie was certainly born an original and I wouldn't change him for the world (well not much anyway!!). He may have a very odd taste in footwear, come to that his dress sense is somewhat idiosyncratic too, but inside there is a surprisingly conventional man. He is honest, strong, determined, hard working and full of fun. It would be so easy for him to dwell on his problems and the things he can't do, but he never gives up, he just gets on with life. I am not sure that Robbie would think that he had much in common with an ancient Greek philosopher, but I am not so sure. Epicurus said “Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance” and I think Robbie would agree with that.
According to tradition a woman can propose to a man on 29th February. Thankfully my mum always taught me that a woman can do anything that a man can do, so I didn't wait for leap year!!
How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone. Coco Chanel
