Every path hath a puddle - George Herbert

When I was thinking of a title for this blog post the quotation above seemed to to be a perfect fit, not least because this week began with a wet and miserable Monday. The cold wet morning came as quite a surprise after an unusually warm September and a surprisingly mild and sunny start to October. It was our ninth wedding anniversary on Saturday and we spent the weekend in Exeter. The choice of destination was a compromise, I had suggested a number of possible places to visit, but Robbie found fault with each one. At first I thought he was just being difficult but it didn't take me long to work out that Baldrick Burgess had a cunning plan to fit in a journey on an HST and he was going to veto every destination until I chose a place that suited his plan. I didn't mind too much, I'm not a fan of HSTs but it's not too much of a hardship and it gives Robbie a lot of pleasure. I didn't appreciate having to get up before the birds, but time together is precious and we were determined to enjoy the weekend to the full.

Robbie at our anniversary meal in Exeter

I like train journeys for many reasons, but perhaps more than anything else I value the thinking time and conversation. It is rare for either of us to sit still for so long with no demands on our time, and it is nice to be still and enjoy having time to chat. As it was our anniversary it is hardly surprising that we were in reflective mood. In a way marrying Robbie was an act of madness, we are a bit of an odd couple and I think a few of our friends doubted our sanity. For me the biggest commitment had been made a year earlier, exactly a year earlier in fact, in the first days of October ten years ago. Robbie and I had been together for just a few months when circumstances took a sudden and surprising turn. He rang me one morning in a state of great agitation, he had just been informed that he needed to take responsibility for his children on a full time basis starting that day. He had a one bedroom flat, which was large enough for his children to stay overnight with him once or twice a week, but it would have proved too cramped and ill equipped for a longer stay and it looked as if the children would be with him for several months. I didn't hesitate, the obvious solution was for them to come to me and so by that evening our three children each had become a blended family of six children. 

There were problems of course, but remarkably few, the children got on well and the Burgess children made the transition to a new school with little difficulty. Coping with six children was a very exhausting experience for me (and for Robbie) but I found it extremely rewarding. At the time my step children were 13, 9 and 5, each one was different but very like Robbie in their various ways. His son often asked to come with me in the car when I went to pick up my daughters from their music lessons or band practice. He was a gentle, thoughtful lad with a lovely nature; he loved to chat and like Robbie he was interested in a vast array of subjects. He shared my keen interest in history and like Robbie he had a passion for films and an eclectic taste in music. We had some fascinating conversations and he enjoyed listening to my music CDs. Robbie's older daughter was a clever and determined nine year old, who seemed older than her years. Like her older step sisters she enjoyed clothes and accessories and she had very firm opinions about what she should wear, in fact she had strong opinions about almost everything. She could be quite outspoken at times, and like Robbie tact wasn't her strong point - her disapproval when we were not having one of her favourite meals was expressed eloquently with just a look and a sigh. Even at age nine it was clear that she had the potential to do well in whatever she chose to do with her life. 

The five year old girl was like a miniature version of Robbie in every way, she looked even more like him than her brother (her sister is much more like her mum) and she had Robbie's ready smile and wicked sense of humour. There was a certain quirkiness about the little girl, she wasn't going to be like everyone else, even at five she had the confidence to be herself whether people liked it or not. I remember taking her to see my elderly aunt one day, my aunt had always enjoyed the company of children and it didn't surprise me that the two of them were soon engrossed in conversation. I popped into the kitchen to put the kettle on and I returned to hear the little girl ask my aunt why she used a walking stick. My aunt explained that she had a poorly hip and she needed the stick to keep her steady. The five year old gave her a thoughtful look and then she asked "couldn't you just try harder?". Clearly she had inherited Robbie's tendency to be a little too direct at times. She had also inherited his strong will and stubbornness, but I had a feeling that these would be a strength rather than a weakness. I already cared deeply about Robbie, and it didn't take long for me to become attached to these bright, lively children who were so like him in their different ways. The months that followed were exhausting and at times noisy and chaotic, but they were happy and all the children thrived. 

So by the following year when Robbie and I married we had already been through an eventful and at times challenging year. It was still a big decision to get married, but we knew that we were strong and that we could cope with the ups and downs of life. We were different in so many ways which made some people think that we were a very odd couple. Perhaps they were right, we’re unconventional certainly, but it works! It hasn't always been easy, we have encountered plenty of challenges over the years, but together we have coped and it has made us stronger. Our lives are still very busy, and Robbie often has to stay away from home on business, so we take time to have fun and to enjoy life whenever we can. We had a lovely trip to Exeter, we stayed in a very nice hotel just a stones throw from the station and it was mild enough for me to have the window open to listen to the sounds of the railway throughout our stay - perfect! 

What goes on in his head?

It was 8.30am on Saturday morning and I was tired of waiting for Robbie to wake up, so I decided to wake him up. He seemed oblivious of the first two or three prods, then suddenly he turned over and said "That's a surprise, there were no announcements". I asked what he was talking about and he said that he dreamt that Google had a new operating platform and he was trying to work it out. Not for the first time it left me wondering what goes on in that man's head. I have never knowingly had a dream about Google, in fact I haven't given it a passing thought. What sort of person  dreams about Google for heaven sake!!


We had to go shopping for a gift for Robbie's new nephew. I was tempted by the usual sort of baby designs but Robbie was attracted to the more colourful designs. We couldn't agree, but then Robbie spotted a blue all in one with a Thomas the Tank Engine design and his mind was made up, apparently you are never too young for trains!! I know when I'm defeated, but I made sure that we found a cute cuddly elephant for the baby too.


Robbie spent most of the day planning and re planning the best route to south Staffordshire. I wondered why it was proving so hard to plan a train journey, I know it was a bank holiday weekend, but surely it shouldn't be that difficult. Eventually all became clear; he could take a more direct route and have time to eat with me before he left, but if he took the more contorted route via Walsall he could do a bit of bus spotting as well! If time had been on his side I think the buses would have won, but in the end he chose to spend a little longer with me so that we could go and eat.


I dropped Robbie off at the station in good time for his train and I drove off to do some shopping and to enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet. The peace and quiet didn't last long, when I got home my son had taken control of the television and I had to endure his viewing choices all evening. Well I didn't have to, but it would have been unkind to object when there was nothing that I wanted to watch. I occupied myself with family history research on the internet and before long I had 'zoned out' the junk on television. Meanwhile Robbie was at a family party to celebrate the wedding of his nephew (a different nephew, not the newborn one!!) according to his texts he was having a great time, but he had to admit that he is getting old - the music was too loud!! Maybe it wasn't such a hardship to put up with junk television after all, at least I could control the volume! 

Memories of a Special Day

Robbie says that my memory is much better that his - that's probably because I don't stuff my head with train numbers, timetable information and assorted junk! I am better at remembering ordinary things. I can remember that October 4th 2005 was a nice sunny day, in fact I can even remember what colour socks Robbie wore on that day and what type of footwear he wore. It is not really surprising that I can remember the details of that day - it was the day that Robbie and I got married. Today is our sixth wedding anniversary, just an day really but it is nice to remember, so here are a few extracts from previous blog entries 


This was written on our first wedding anniversary


It is only just over a year since we got married, but it feels as if Robbie and I have been together forever because despite 'eccentricities' we get on incredibly well. There were lots of reasons why we didn't rush into getting married, but there was one major obstacle for Robbie - I wanted him to wear shoes! For any readers who don't know him, he always wears Dr Martens (because he has different sized feet). Eventually Robbie negotiated a deal re the shoes for the wedding. He would wear Dr Marten Oxford shoes for the big day and I would make no objection to him buying a new pair of purple Dr Marten boots. I wouldn't have minded him buying the boots anyway, but I let him think he had struck a tough bargain! He does make me laugh.


He was even brave enough to suggest that I should also wear Dr Marten's. Apparently they do make Dr Martens for women, but there is no way on earth that I was going to wear them for my wedding - or any other occasion. Robbie's boots are incredibly heavy, it would have been like getting married in diving boots, I wouldn't have been able to lift my feet up! My friend got married wearing an Arsenal top, I was tempted by that idea, but I don't think I was designed for sports wear!! 


This is why I remember the socks he wore


His taste in socks is almost as eclectic as his preference in shirts! He likes loud colours, and why settle for one loud colour when you can have loud stripes – he likes stripes! They even put in an appearance at our wedding. I have written before about the compromise we reached concerning Robbie wearing shoes rather than Dr Marten boots to get married. The little detail I had overlooked was the socks. On the day we were getting ready to leave the house when Robbie emerged wearing a very nice suit and bare feet. In his hand he carried a brand new rather noticeable pair of pink socks. There was no way that he was leaving the house in those, and after a forlorn attempt to fight his corner he headed back upstairs get some different socks. I thought nothing more about it until we were asked to sit down during the ceremony. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Robbie’s immaculate shoes and his hideous socks – they were clashing stripes of different blues. I have held a grudge against those socks ever since, but the dratted things never get separated in the wash and they show no signs of wearing out!


I loved our honeymoon

Apparently our honeymoon has become a bit of a legend among his work mates. Robbie works for a railway company as a train planner, and he is obsessively interested in everything to do with trains. His mates couldn't work out how he got away with a 'train focussed' honeymoon.

We had the most amazing start to our honeymoon. We spent an afternoon and evening in London cranking at Euston and the Kings Cross, after that we made our way across to Paddington. We had a first class booking on the Penzance sleeper, but it didn't leave until almost midnight, so I had plenty of time to enjoy the wonders of the First Class Lounge. Robbie got 'ants in his pants' and asked if he could go off and do a bit more train spotting. That was fine by me, I was happy to sit there and take in every detail of my surroundings, those rooms are incredible.

The sleeper journey was really special. I made sure I was awake in time to enjoy the early morning part of the journey.  ‘Sleeping beauty’ didn’t wake up until his breakfast arrived! One of the most magical memories was watching the sun rise as we came towards St Michaels Mount.

Well I have shared quite enough details about our honeymoon! The rest of the week was great too …….and it involved lots more trains!!


I would love to go on the sleeper to Penzance again one day.

Best Behaviour 12.02.07

Robbie went to a wedding today, not sure where, somewhere dangerously close to Wales I think. I wasn't really awake enough to check out the tie before he left, but it couldn't have been too alarming or I would have noticed. I did notice the unmistakable indication of the importance of the day - he wore shoes! Unfortunately he also wore his blue striped socks, the ones that he got married in, oh well I don't suppose I will ever change his fashion sense.

I am still sitting here with only the computer for company, wondering if the intrepid traveller will make it home before midnight. I was expecting him to be home fairly early in the evening but when I rang to see where he was he was still at the wedding and still eating - even then Mad Hatter's Tea Party didn't last that long. Robbie assured me that he was being good, but I have a horrible feeling that he was clearing everyone's plates fore them! You can't take him anywhere.