“You’d better tell His Majesty that many people nowadays like marmalade instead.” A A Milne

Sunday mornings are special, but this week I was not best pleased with Robbie when I woke up on Sunday morning because he had woken me up at 3am when he came to bed. Does he seriously think that I want to chat at that time in the morning? He always knows how to get around me, very sensibly he didn't try to make excuses he just apologised and then plodded off to make me a cup of tea. 

When he came back to bed he cuddled up next to me, looked me in the eyes and said that he had something to tell me. I wondered what he could possibly want to say, he looked very serious, then he announced that he had run out of marmalade! I told him that this wasn't the moment to be talking about marmalade, but he just gave me that lost little boy look that he does so well. Then he snuggled up closer and told me to make sure that I choose thick cut Golden Shred when I buy his next pot of marmalade. Sometimes words fail me!


The title for this post comes from the poem The King's  Breakfast by A A Milne.

Adults are obsolete children - Dr. Seuss

It hasn't been much of a weekend. I was kept awake by the wind last night (the outside kind) it rained all night and the wind was very strong. It woke me up and then I couldn't get back to sleep because I was worried about the roof, it felt as if the wind was strong enough to dislodge tiles from the roof. I got increasingly irritated  with myself because I was tired and I really needed to get some sleep. Then this morning I really didn't feel very well, I am cold and shivery and I ache, I really hope it is not a bug, I haven't got time to be ill. 


This morning Robbie was anxious about the state of the railway, it seems it took a bit of a battering last night and fallen trees and such like have caused problems today. I was more anxious about feeling unwell, Robbie brought me a cup of tea to make me feel better. Then he cuddled up next to me and talked about the weather (and trains). He was surprisingly perceptive in noticing that I am sick and tired of 'weather'. It seems to have rained every day since I they declared that we are in a drought area! I have to admit that Robbie managed to cheer me up with his next topic of conversation. Only Robbie could cuddle up in bed on Sunday morning and talk excitedly about his childhood collection of erasers. Apparently his favourite was one in the shape of a cassette tape which fitted into a cassette player shaped case.


We went out briefly this afternoon to see my mum, there were floods on several roads and our lovely park is flooded; we saw the ducks swimming along what should be a footpath. We were glad to get back to the relative sanity of home. I was still feeling out of sorts, so I wasn't that bothered when Robbie asked to watch Get Carter for the second time this weekend. I had my head buried in the computer when Robbie gave a shout of excitement. He said he had seen a Deltic and he insisted on rewinding it so that I could see it too. He sat there on the floor rewinding it and watching it over and over again. It seems he is easily pleased!

An Imaginary Friend?

Is it so unreasonable for me to want an uninterrupted nights sleep? One way or other Robbie always manages to wake me up. On Tuesday night he came to bed after me, I was aware of his arrival but not fully awake. He did his usual trick of falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, it took me longer, but I had started to doze again when suddenly he jumped and gave a little shout. I wondered what was the matter, my heart was pounding because I thought he had been taken ill, but I think he must have been dreaming. He insisted that someone had been sprinkling talcum powder over him! He was adamant about it, he didn't actually accuse me of doing it, but that is what he meant - unless it was his imaginary friend sprinkling imaginary talc! I pointed out the obvious, there was no talc on him, but he still wasn't convinced so I reminded him that I have better things to do at 2am than sprinkle him with talc! I told him that if he didn't stop waking me up, he would need to watch out for significantly heavier objects, because the temptation to throw something at him was becoming irresistible!

An Extra Leg?

I found out why Robbie has been so impossible recently, he is worried. He is having numbness and pain in part of his hand, until now the numbness has only been in his feet and legs. When he told me I thought it may be something like carpel tunnel syndrome, but the symptoms don't match that. He will not go to the doctors to find out what is causing it, so his imagination is on overtime. Why do men make everything so complicated?

I explained to Robbie that I was very tired and that when he wakes me up at night I can't get back to sleep. I even warned him that if he woke me up again he would need to run very far and very fast! By the time he came to bed at about 1am I was asleep, but he was talking loudly as he walked into the bedroom. This time he was accusing me of stealing his socks! At the weekend when I was sorting and folding the clean washing I paired up and delivered at least eight pairs of socks; so unless he has recently grown an extra leg he should have enough socks to last a week! I didn't argue with him, I was too tired. Thankfully I was so tired that I went back to sleep fairly quickly.

Giong Comando - A Scary Thought!

On Sunday night I went to bed at at about 12.20am and Robbie assured me that he wouldn't be far behind. It was the usual story, I stayed awake, he didn't come to bed and I fell asleep. Suddenly I was aware of him shouting, he was really angry and moaning that he had no clean pants for the morning. I told him that they were in the pile of folded laundry that I gave him earlier, and there was at least enough pairs of pants for a week. He argued and insisted that there were no pants and he would have to go without. I was equally sure that the pants were exactly where I said they were. It was well past 2pm and I begged Robbie to shut up, but he was warming to his theme and he intended to list the many ways that I was neglecting him. Nothing I could say or do would make him shut up, and I was so annoyed about being woken up that I was ready to harm him. There was no alternative, I got up and went to sit in the bathroom to listen to the radio for a bit. When I got back he was still awake and I made it clear that if he spoke to me again I would go and sleep downstairs. He didn't speak, but he 'breathed aggressively' until he fell asleep and started snoring. I was awake for ages, then when I had got to sleep again it was time to get up! All that fuss about missing knickers! In the morning I made him look again at the pile of clean folded laundry and there were the pants, exactly where I said they were. That man is impossible sometimes!

Always Tired

I am always tired and according to Sam it is all because of old age, that may be a factor but I think Robbie has a lot to answer for too, he seems incapable of going to bed at a reasonable hour. Normally I head off to bed by midnight, and Robbie always assures me that he will be right behind me, but that is usually the last I see of him. Last night was fairly typical, I got into bed and there was no sign of Robbie, so I listened to the radio before drifting off to sleep. I don't know how much later it was when Robbie woke me up to tell me that he had brought me a drink for the night. He said he was just going down to lock the front door and he would be straight back. He must have vanished into a black hole on his way down the stairs because that was the last I saw of him. I was woken much later by the sound of ghostly moaning and heavy footsteps came closer to the bedroom, either it was a Scooby Doo style haunting or Robbie was on his way to bed. The door opened and a naked apparition stood moaning in the doorway, Robbie had just woken up and everything ached. After the usual torture with the light, he thumped down on the bed and settled down to sleep, still moaning painfully. Within minutes he was deeply asleep and in possession of all the duvet - I was wide awake. An hour and a half later the alarm clock went off and it was time to get Robbie up for work. No wonder I am tired, I never get any uninterrupted sleep!

Sock Thieves

He did it again! What is wrong with that man? At about 1.45am I was sound asleep when Robbie came to bed. For some reason he found it essential to stand over me and prod me to ask if I was asleep. Then the light went on and he spent the next ten minutes looking for his socks, muttering darkly the whole time about sock thieves. He's deluded, who would want his socks! I got increasingly annoyed and he became increasingly irritating. Still proclaiming his conspiracy theory, he turned the main light off, climbed over the bed and switched on his side light in order to rummage in his sock drawer. His light was intolerable, it is like a searchlight and I was furious that yet again he thought it was OK to wake me up and subject me to this sort of torture. Finally he was reunited with his socks, but he refused to turn the light off, he made a big deal about setting the alarm on his phone before very grudgingly settling down and putting out the light. By this time I was furious and ready to harm him, yet again he managed to fall asleep within minutes, leaving me wide awake and unable to sleep. Please, for the sake of my sanity make him understand that waking me up in the middle of the night could be dangerous to his health!

Living Dangerously

Robbie can be so annoying sometimes. On Saturday night he came to bed late, woke me up, let all the cold air under the duvet and then stole the duvet. I stole it back and threatened him with dire consequences if he did it again! On Sunday night he came to bed at 1.30pm, he woke me up because he made so much noise, then he sat down so heavily on the bed that I almost bounced out on to the floor. Then he deliberately flapped the duvet to let the cold air in and when he got in bed he tugged the duvet away and rolled himself up in it. By this time I was wild and ready to beat him to a pulp, for some reason he found it hilarious and he lay there prodding me and giggling like Mutley from Wacky Races. By then I was wide awake and too furious to sleep, my chances of sleep were further diminished because he continued to be annoying even when he fell asleep, he was making noises like a whale blowing throw it's blow hole. I think I showed incredible restraint, but if it happens again he will be sleeping in the garage.

Night Terrors

Yesterday when I woke up in the morning I had a memory of waking up and feeling very frightened in the night but I couldn't remember what had happened. I knew it had something to do with Robbie, but when I asked him he was extremely evasive about it, he tried to convince me that I had woken with a start when he came to bed very late, but I knew it was more than that because I remembered screaming. Finally in the afternoon something Emily said triggered my memory and suddenly it was all crystal clear. I was fast asleep when I was woken by a loud roaring noise which I can best describe as a one man riot! I woke with a start and I was so frightened that I shouted out as I woke. The cause of the disturbance was unbelievable even for Robbie – he had spotted the new Ikea catalogue at the side of my bed (I got it the previous day) and he was whooping with excitement!!

Night Terrors

Last night Robbie woke with a start at about 3am. He was really scared because he was very cold and his face, arms and chest were wet. He felt disorientated and he couldn't work out what was happening to him. Eventually he realised that he had fallen asleep on the sofa. Meg the dog had got so fed up with his snoring that she had decided to lick him all over. She knew that if she woke him up he would stumble off to bed and she would get some much needed peace.

A Night To Remember!

Robbie is not very good at going to bed on time, he has good intentions but then he either falls asleep over his computer or something on the television catches his attention so he sits down to watch it and falls asleep. On Monday night he was supposed to be on his way to bed, but there was something on television that caught his attention and he sat down again. I settled down to sleep with more than my share of the duvet, Radio 4 for company and just for a change no train noises, railway stories or timetable enquiries. Most people count sheep to make themselves sleepy, but Robbie recites train timetables and routes. When he was watching his DVD the night before there was a clip of Euston Station in the 1970's and it included a brief look at the departures board. Robbie kept rewinding and freezing the picture because he wanted to check the routes and work out the journey times - sad! Perhaps that explains why I treat his occasional absence as a luxury.

I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I remember was being woken in the middle of the night by ghostly moaning accompanied by bumping and clattering noises. I was still half asleep and struggling to make sense of what I was hearing when I felt an incredibly heavy weight on my legs that made me want to cry out. Suddenly I was wide awake and the 'haunting' turned out to be Robbie coming to bed. He had fallen asleep downstairs and when he woke up he was in agony and could hardly move. He had half walked and half crawled to bed moaning all the way and when he got there he launched himself onto the bed from my side and landed on my legs. I think I must have expressed my feelings fairly clearly and I must have turned my back on him because I remember one other thing, he tapped me on the shoulder and asked me very politely if he could please have a little bit of the duvet.

Living Dangerously

The fact that Robbie has survived unharmed for 36 years is one of life's enduring mysteries. Sometimes he infuriates me so much that the urge to harm him is almost irresistible. The trouble is that he has no sense of danger, Robbie will 'boldly go' where angels fear to tread. When he got home from work on Monday he wandered into the kitchen to find out what was for dinner, within seconds he was telling me that I was doing things wrong! My warning stare didn't work and when he attempted to tell me how to do something else I couldn't contain my frustration, I stormed out of the kitchen and told him that if he knew so much he could finish cooking the meal himself. I went back a few minutes later because he can't make the gravy, but he was still trying to tell me that his way was the best way. He was standing there in his PJ's and I was armed with a scalding hot jug of gravy, only an act of supreme self mastery on my part prevented me from tipping the gravy straight down the front of his trousers!

Yesterday I played safe and made a chicken casserole so that by the time Robbie arrived home there would be very to argue about. Emily needed a lift so I planned to drive her to the station and then take Robbie home. I made the dumplings before leaving the house, but thankfully I left them on a plate ready to put in when I arrived home and I turned the oven down slightly. When Robbie got into the car his first sentence was to request that I would take him to Staples. I asked if we could do it another day because our meal was almost ready, but apparently it was an emergency - he needed to buy a new pencil! I took him to Staples and I'm please to report that he now has a pencil with lead in it! Thankfully our meal survived the delay.

I went to bed fairly late, I was tired and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. Sometime later 'Thunder Foot' came to bed. How hard can it be to slip into bed quietly without waking me up? In Robbie's case it appears to be impossible! He thumped and bumped around, talked to me, prodded me, flapped the covers about let the cold air in and worse of all he put the light on just to annoy me. You will not be surprised to hear that it worked! I was furious. Once again I was wide awake and it would take ages to get back to sleep, but within minutes 'Sleeping Beauty' was 'Z'ing away, oblivious of my simmering anger.

This morning I expected a 'sorry' and may be a bit of affection. Instead I was awoken by a searchlight and an inquisition, he was accusing me of stealing his knickers! I was quite insistent that I hadn't touched them but he wouldn't believe me. I was furious about not being believed, we are not exactly talking about the crown jewels here, I don't think there is a booming market in second hand drawers. To add insult to injury he then blamed Sam for stealing them - how ridiculous. If I find them before he does he'd better watch out because every pair will have a liberal sprinkling of itching powder inside!

Just in case anyone is wondering, Robbie went to work fully clothed, including underwear. He had been looking for a specific pair, for some reason or other he had decided that he had to wear that pair today. He told me last night that he had to go on a site visit today and he needed to have a high visibility jacket and safety boots. Perhaps he thought he needed his lucky pants as well!

An Early Night 07.11.07

Robbie went to see a group called Hadouken last night and he didn't get home until after midnight. He phoned me several times during the evening and he promised that he wouldn't wake me up when he arrived home. Bitter experience told me that he would find it impossible to keep his promise, but I thought he would at least try to be quiet. Shortly before 12.30am I was woken by a thunderous bang that could have easily been mistaken for an explosion, it was actually Robbie arriving home and closing the front door!

I knew the kitchen would be his first port of call and by the time he came upstairs I was asleep again. I became vaguely aware that he was leaning over me, but waking up seemed like too much effort. Undeterred Robbie told me several times that he was home, each time he increased in volume and each time I clung desperately to sleep. Finally he resorted to prodding to wake me up! Oh well, another broken promise. At least I got my own back on him, I demanded a cup of tea!

Night Terrors 25.10.07

Robbie did not get home until just after 9pm and he talked non stop about technical railway stuff so even if the bogeyman was still troubling him, Robbie would have bored him into submission! He ignored the TV in favour of the computer until I went to bed, he said he was going to watch a bit of MTV before coming to bed. I knew that would involve him falling asleep and crawling up to bed in agony in the early hours. He claims that he woke shortly after 2am to find his face feeling wet, strange noises around his face and something was nudging his head! After a moment of panic when he didn't know where he was and couldn't work out how to move his limbs, he realised that the dog was trying to wake him up! He must have been snoring and it bothered Meg so much that she decided to wake him up and send him to bed. Unable to do anything quietly, he woke me as he got ready for bed. He was asleep again within minutes, but I was left wide awake thinking 'dark' thoughts about being woken up. He had no need to worry about the bogeyman, there was a much more imminent threat to his safety - me!!

Pillow Talk 27.02.07

Robbie was in my bad books this morning, I was exhausted and it was all his fault. I'd had a couple of disturbed nights due to a bad back, and when I went to bed last night I fell asleep fairly quickly. My sleep was disrupted by Robbie coming to bed at about half past one. I was dimly aware of him talking to himself as he plodded towards the bedroom, something about me being totally unreasonable for turning the light out. I drifted back to sleep only to be woken by a 'searchlight' and Robbie still mumbling discontentedly. I gratefully embraced sleep again, until I was roused once again by the bed moving; Robbie was using the bed as a trampoline as he climbed across and landed with a thump at the side of me. I wasn't awake enough to express my fury in words, so I made do with a very expressive growel. He finally settled down in bed, but the endless commentary continued until I could bear it no longer and I hid under the duvet to block out the noise. Never one to pick up on subtle cues, Robbie continued moaning - brave man! By this time he was complaining that I had swapped the pillows over and he couldn't sleep - well join the club!! He was talking absolute rubbish, but I was ready to harm him by this time. I sat bolt upright and forced him to swap pillows, he then settled down and within seconds he was snoring, I was left wide awake for hour, plotting murder!!

Things That Go Bump in The Night 19.02.07

Robbie saw a ghost last night and it scared him so much that he almost screamed! Actually it wasn't a ghost it was me. Robbie had fallen asleep over his computer - again, and as he came up to bed he must have woken me (as usual). As he came into the bedroom I sat up very slowly, still very sleepy, it really frightened him. It scared me too, what a sight to wake up to, I thought it was the honey monster!

Someone commented today on how alike Robbie and Sam are. It's true they are incredibly alike, imagine what it is like at home, Robbie and 'mini Robbie' - irritation in stereo!

Enjoy the picture below of the many faces of Sam