Cabin Fever

There was very little to get out of bed for this morning, we'd had more snow over night and when I was forced out of bed to trundle off to the bathroom I sprinted back to the warmth the bed without delay. Robbie was sound asleep, sound being the operative word, he was making a noise like Ivor the Engine on a bad day. I tried to ignore it, after all he was at least acting as a giant hot water bottle, but he was spoiling my enjoyment of Radio 4, so I tried a little prod but there was no reaction, so I resorted to a swift pinch. He rolled over and made a sound like an old fashioned growling teddy bear the he resumed the distressed train noises.

Prods and pinches only produced more growling sounds so I had to resort to more drastic action, I started to recite poetry to him! To my surprise he enjoyed it, he didn't even seem daunted when I embarked on the The Pied Piper of Hamelin (perhaps because he didn't know how long it was). I took pity on him and stopped when 'the Mayor and corporation quaked with mighty consternation'. Just to be sure that he didn't doze off again I finished off the poetry with Cargoes, for some reason Robbie burst into a fit of the giggles when we got to the 'Dirty British coaster'. At least he was now wide awake and Ivor the Engine was finally silenced.

I had an important question to ask Robbie, I wanted to know who Brenda is? He had called out her name several times in his sleep. At first he looked puzzled then a look of recognition spread across his face. He announced that she was the daughter of his grandmother's best friend and that she must be about 70. I don't know if I was relieved or terrified, I know he has a bit of a thing for older women but that is a bit scary!

I sent him off to make a cup of tea and to think up a better excuse. He obviously needed a lot of thinking time because he vanished without trace, the tea arrived eventually but the promised bacon sandwich became lunch rather than breakfast! When I asked why I had been abandoned he grudgingly admitted that he had been 'suffering from' Cabin Fever - he 'accidentally' started watching a DVD.

How Did This Become My Job?

I have written before about Robbie's selection of alarm clocks, each one set for a slightly different time. The theory is that if one alarm doesn't wake him the next one will, the reality is that none of them wake him up. They wake me up, they probably wake my neighbours up but Robbie slumbers on! Each time I silence an alarm I wake him up, he responds, he even speaks to me, sometimes he tells me in no uncertain terms to go away, often he agrees that he needs to get up but before he has even finished his sentence he is snoring again! It isn't good for my blood pressure, I end up wanting to scream at him, in fact I think I will have to design an alarm clock that administers an electric shock, maybe that will get him out of bed without all this fuss!

Sleeping Beauty

Robbie didn't spend a second night on the sofa, but he almost did! The dispute about knickers had been resolved long before bed time, but he has got into the habit of sprawling on the sofa and 'resting his eyes' of course this means that he is snoring within seconds and it is very hard to wake him up. I kept telling him to go to bed but he just got more and more stroppy until fell out with me and I decided that he could stay there. I made one more attempt to wake him and gave up, it was like trying to reason with a drunk. I took myself off to bed and I was surprised to find that Robbie plodded up to bed a few minutes later. He got into bed, then out again, then returned and climbed back into bed and stole the covers. When I say climbed I mean climbed, he trod on me three times! Next time I will leave him on the sofa, at least that way I can be sure of keeping the duvet

Night Terrors

Last night Robbie woke with a start at about 3am. He was really scared because he was very cold and his face, arms and chest were wet. He felt disorientated and he couldn't work out what was happening to him. Eventually he realised that he had fallen asleep on the sofa. Meg the dog had got so fed up with his snoring that she had decided to lick him all over. She knew that if she woke him up he would stumble off to bed and she would get some much needed peace.

Pillow Talk 27.02.07

Robbie was in my bad books this morning, I was exhausted and it was all his fault. I'd had a couple of disturbed nights due to a bad back, and when I went to bed last night I fell asleep fairly quickly. My sleep was disrupted by Robbie coming to bed at about half past one. I was dimly aware of him talking to himself as he plodded towards the bedroom, something about me being totally unreasonable for turning the light out. I drifted back to sleep only to be woken by a 'searchlight' and Robbie still mumbling discontentedly. I gratefully embraced sleep again, until I was roused once again by the bed moving; Robbie was using the bed as a trampoline as he climbed across and landed with a thump at the side of me. I wasn't awake enough to express my fury in words, so I made do with a very expressive growel. He finally settled down in bed, but the endless commentary continued until I could bear it no longer and I hid under the duvet to block out the noise. Never one to pick up on subtle cues, Robbie continued moaning - brave man! By this time he was complaining that I had swapped the pillows over and he couldn't sleep - well join the club!! He was talking absolute rubbish, but I was ready to harm him by this time. I sat bolt upright and forced him to swap pillows, he then settled down and within seconds he was snoring, I was left wide awake for hour, plotting murder!!