The son who must remain nameless has been at home since finishing his GCSE's in early June and before that he had exam leave so it feels as if he has been 'at leisure' for a very long time. He started sixth form at his new school on Tuesday so on Monday he and I had a shopping day to get an extra pair of shoes and some more trousers for school. It was really nice to spend some time together, usually I am just the taxi!
I am not a natural shopper, in fact I go to town so rarely that I find that a number of the shops have changed since I was last there. So I was not fully prepared for the joys of Topman and River Island. Why do they have to be upstairs? Clearly 'the nameless one' gets his love of clothes and clothes shops from his dad. I was fairly calm when he showed the carrot cut chinos that he wanted, they were in a colour that I am more used to seeing in the cat tray on a very bad day but I don't have to be seen out in them so I gave in without a fight.
Next we looked at 'boat shoes' apparently they are retro, they would certainly not have looked out of place in the old men's section at Marks and Spencer. His heart was set on a pair that were navy blue and brown and eventually he found a pair to fit. That was the easy bit, the price was a bit hard to take, but if that is what he chose to spend his shoe allowance on he will have to wait a while for the next pair.
He also needed what he described as a pair of short joggers for sport. Apparently he had seen a pair that were just right and he wanted me see them. After trailing around the entire store he finally found the desired garment and my composure became a distant memory. They were in a dirty off white colour in a loose almost baggy fitting with cuffs around the knee. I couldn't possibly let him be seen out in public in something like that, I have seen a similar garment in the past but it was worn by an elderly man at a care home who needed extra room for a nappy! The price was the deciding factor, this was one desire that he would not become reality. We went to a sports shop and found some (slightly) more normal sports shorts. We went into several other shops so that he could show me all the items on his wish list so by the time we drove home my feet were killing me. I have seen some sights in my life, but those joggers were certainly 'memorable' for all the wrong reasons!
It was Father's Day on Sunday and in our house that is a day of very mixed emotions. My own dad died when I was still at school, and I still remember the pain of Father's Day without a father to buy a card for. I have a step father, he is not a substitute for my dad, but over the years he has become special in his own right and he has been a fantastic grandad to my children. The mixed feelings are much the same for my children, Robbie is a brilliant step dad and he has a good relationship with each of them but that does not replace their dad. Being a step parent is always a challenge, and in my case there was no vacancy to fill, they have a mum and a dad, so I needed to find a different sort of role with Robbie's children, more like a grown up friend than a parent. Of course from the other angle it is difficult to accept a step parent, how dare your parent inflict this person on you without giving you any choice in the matter and apparently without taking your feelings into account. My own stepfather didn't always get it right in the early days, but because of him I know that a good step-parent can make so much difference to family life.
Robbie misses his children when he is not with them especially on Fathers Day and birthday's, but we have some happy times when we are all together. Robbie's main present was the latest in the series of British Transport Films DVD's but it hadn't arrived on time so he is looking forward to getting that later in the week. He also had a couple of books, a big glossy book about railway blunders and a little book packed with railway facts. He loved both books, but by the end of the day I was getting a bit fed up with all those facts. That little book has a section on timetables and lots of information about Bradshaw's, he is bad enough as it is without a little book of facts to encourage him to bombard me with random railway information!
