Mad Dogs and Killer Squirrels! 23.07.07

We had some unexpected entertainment on the way home from visiting my mum . The saga of the killer squirrel's ...yes you I did say killer squirrels! We were driving along spotting wild rabbits (of the suicidal variety - but that is another story) when Laura announced that she was afraid to go to the park because the squirrels are dangerous. I found this odd as we have a beautiful park and the squirrels are very tame, in fact when the children were younger they loved to go to the park to feed the pigeons and the squirrels. Apparently Laura watched a programme on the television about killer squirrel's that could attack your jugular vein and strike you dead! She was quite serious and I tried to explain that they were more likely to make a dash for freedom than to leap for the jugular vein but she was not easily convinced. She pointed out that their jaws are designed to bite through acorns, fair enough but humans are somewhat larger and taller than an acorn. Did she seriously believe that baby squirrels are taught human anatomy so that they can instantly aim for the jugular? She was so funny and so determined that we were helpless with laughter. I pointed out that the swans and geese on the park lake could be much more dangerous, but once again she refused to believe me. After all why believe mum when satellite TV is far more sensational, whatever happened to those days when they were little and they thought mum knew everything!If the squirrels were not funny enough, Laura then started harping on about the huge 'rabid' dog she saw when she and her friends went to London last week on a day trip. According to Laura it's eyes were as big as snooker balls and it was foaming at the mouth! It was apparently as big as a pony and black and white in colour. It seems unlikely that she met a cow on Westminster Bridge so we must assume a certain amount of exaggeration. Obviously Laura has a very active imagination and this coupled with the East Endish sort of accent that she adopts when telling us about rabid dogs, killer squirrels and the like makes her very funny. Oddly this is not the daughter who is obsessed with Harry Potter and the wizardry of Hogwarts, no, this is the daughter who is about to embark on A Level Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Geography - I always thought science required fair tests, evidence and proof!!

Questions, Questions!

I sometimes wonder if I am just talking to myself when I write my blog entries, nobody ever leaves any comments. So I just write about the things that amuse or infuriate me. Having included a couple of entries about Sam I realised that 'the saying's of Sam' are almost as priceless as 'Robbie's ramblings'. Writing about Sam prompted me to revisit my old diary entries and before long I was helpless with laughter. Below is part of a diary entry from March 2004 when Sam was 9.

I was faced with one of those `go and ask your father questions' this evening. After I had struggled to unpack the car and put the shopping away Sam wandered into the kitchen and said "Mum" in that ominous tone that children are so good at."I have been meaning to ask you something, what are tampons for?"
I was exhausted and not really in the mood for deep and meaningful discussions so I played for time and asked what had prompted that question. He looked a bit sheepish and said"Actually mum I know what they are for, they are a special kind of firelighter. I just can't work out why they sell so many of them at Safeways".
I was about to reach for the phone, surely this was a case for `men in white coats' but suddenly it all started to make sense. Sam confessed that he had gone into Emily's room and watched her video of the Survivor TV series and that is where he had seen them used as firelighters. I was afraid I would burst out laughing so I sent him off with a biscuit and postponed the discussion until later!