Decisions, Decisions

We had a rather unusual Friday evening. We were going out to a rather special event on Saturday and the only instruction was to wear something that we would feel comfortable in. To me comfortable means something that will not dig in when I sit down and something that makes me feel reasonably confident (or at least something that doesn't make me look like the back of a bus) I had thought about it during the week and by Friday evening I knew exactly what I wanted to wear, Robbie on the other hand hadn't  given it any thought until Friday evening. Asked my advice and I suggested jeans and his red T-shirt, but he rejected that idea on the grounds that it was not smart enough, then he vanished.

He reappeared after a few minutes wearing only his pants (scary) and clutching a selection of clothes. He appeared in front of me wearing a tucked in coloured check shirt and his smart casual charcoal trousers. The trousers are very nice and the shirt is OK but together they made him look 'special' with just a touch of the Simon Cowell waistband going on. I gave him a very firm no, but being Robbie he kept asking why so we had to have an in depth discussion about it. Robbie tried several more outfits, and that annoying word 'why' popped up far too often. In the end I felt as if I was trapped in an endless episode of Mr Benn, there was far too much dressing up going on. I wonder how Mr Benn's wife felt about all that dressing up, it was very dubious. We ended up more or less where we started, Robbie decided to wear his jeans with a nice shirt - tucked out.  The whole experience made me recall a cartoon that I saw recently, men and women really do see things differently when they look in the mirror!

How Did He Do That?

Why do the men in my family have so much problem with their clothes and why does it always have to involve me. On Friday morning Robbie was not wearing his suit (because it was dress down Friday), so when I spotted his suit trousers on the bedroom floor, I escorted them to the laundry basket. A little later I was downstairs wondering why Robbie hadn't left yet when I heard what sounded like an entire army galloping around upstairs, after a series of loud manoeuvres a read faced and breathless Robbie thundered down the stairs clutching a Roy Cropper style shopping bag containing his suit. Apparently I had made him late by hiding his trousers and made him miss his bus so I had to give him a lift to the station. He had a meeting during the day so he needed his suit for the meeting and I had creased his trousers. According to him he had not hung them on the floor, he had draped them near the television in full view so that he didn't forget them!

I may have inadvertently hidden his trousers, but I am fairly useful when it comes to sewing buttons on and general mending, both Robbie and Sam get themselves into some very odd scrapes with their clothes. When we were on holiday Robbie managed to catch his stomach on a door handle and tear his new shirt, it took ages to mend it. How on earth does anyone catch their stomach on the door handle, I can understand how you could scrape your arm or perhaps even rip your pocket, but he must have been walking sideways to catch his stomach on the door handle!

The Shirt Saga.

The shirt hasn't gone back to Marks and Spencer - yet! However Robbie has agreed that he will buy some long shorts instead, so I will be keeping alert until the shirt is safely returned. He got me to take him late night shopping at Tesco last night and he fell in love with some very loud and scary shirts there too, but I managed to steer him away without incident. There were some very nice but loud shorts, just Robbie's sort of thing, bright pink and brown with a huge pattern on, I could have coped with those but they didn't have his size so maybe the world is not quite ready for that vision yet! Robbie is feeling very hard done by, he claims he has even had women offering to take him shopping to help him choose more suitable shirts. They would soon learn, taking Robbie to Marks and Spencer is like taking a child to Toys R Us, you lose all hope of seeing daylight ever again!

This is War!

There has been a battle of wills in our house this weekend, Robbie made an unscheduled trip to Marks and Spencers and came back with the most hideous shirt imaginable. He had it hidden in his rucksack but if he hoped to sneak it past me he failed miserably. Even a used car salesman would have been ashamed to wear it! It was a horribly loud check with blues and pinks and it reminded me of that nasty synthetic material that they make overalls out of (the kind that old ladies wear). He insisted that it was ideal for work I insisted that it wasn't - unless he is thinking of a career as a rat catcher, it would be useful then because they would die laughing! Anyway after a weekend of argument he backed down and he has agreed to take it back on Tuesday.

Living Dangerously! 12.03.08

I told Robbie about my computer problem yesterday evening as we were on our way to the supermarket. I was astounded by his response especially as he had experienced his own computer troubles fairly recently. He said that he he'd been wondering where that collar stiffener had gone and that I would have to get it out as he needed it. He then went on to wonder out loud how he could find a replacement if he couldn't get the original back. I don't think he needs to worry about collar stiffeners, the sort of stiffness on my mind was rigor mortis, I felt almost murderous!

Robbie was in high spirits (despite the loss of his collar stiffener) because his new briefcase had been delivered. I think it was another birthday present to himself - it is his birthday on Saturday. He has almost as many briefcases as Laura has handbags, but I did manage to force a major concession - he has agreed to throw his old briefcase away!

The Revenge of the Shirt! 11.03.08

Robbie likes watching a dreadful television program on Monday evenings, and having endured an hour of 'TV to top yourself by' earlier in the evening (Emmerdale and Eastenders) and I didn't have the inner strength to tolerate Skins later on. I decided to retreat to bed with my laptop and Radio 4. I had hardly started writing when the laptop made a couple of very odd noises, then it carried on as normal. I thought perhaps I had imagined it, but when I changed position it made the noise again, so I turned the laptop upside down to look at the base and it started to make a dreadful noise, like the noise made by those clip things that boys like to put on bicycle wheels. On closer inspection the cause of the problem became evident, there was a little plastic strip like a mini plant label, and it was catching in the fan. I could see it well through the wire mesh below the fans, but I would have to open the back to get it out - not a job for 11pm. I had another look this morning, I haven't decided what to do yet, but I have identified the offending article, that dreadful rainbow striped shirt is taking revenge on me for being so disparaging about it. The little plastic strip came from the shirt collar! I think I have worked out how it got into the computer but getting it out will be a bit more complicated. I hate that shirt, it has caused nothing but trouble since he bought it.

Robbie - or Possibly Joseph? 10.02.08

Robbie wore 'that' shirt today, the one that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago! You know the very expensive shirt that includes every colour known to man. I vowed that I would never be seen outside the house with him if he was wearing that thing, but we were going to Homebase to buy a bookcase and there was no way I was going to lift that that into the car on my own. Anyway Homebase staff have never been especially helpful to me so why shouldn't they be exposed to 'the walking test card' if I have to put up with it! The bookcase is for Robbie's railway books, I had to give in and agree to another bookcase because there are so many books in the bedroom now that they will be taking over the bed!

Robbie settled back into the car having safely stowed the bookcase in the boot and it seemed to be the right moment to make my point. I asked if he knew the Bible story about Joseph and his coat of many colours, he said that he did, so I told him that he probably had a shirt just like that to go with it! Emily and Laura are deeply unimpressed with the shirt, Emily commented that she would have thought they could have included a couple of buttons since the shirt was so expensive!!

Monday Morning Blues 21.01.08

Monday mornings seem to crop up far too frequently. This morning found me driving towards Kettering at just after 6am to get Emily back to Leicester in time for a 9am lecture. Robbie decided to travel to work via Leicester too, he says he likes a bit of variety in his life, but really I think he just wanted to be sure that Emily was OK. I got them to Kettering station in plenty of time, but there they stayed until just after 7.30am because a signalling problem was causing long delays. Emily still got to her lecture on time, but if Robbie's colleagues hoped for a peaceful morning without him they were doubly disappointed, he wasn't late in the end, and when he got there one of his colleagues made a serious error of judgement - he asked what Robbie did at the weekend! Apparently Robbie was still talking several hours later! It could have been worse, he could have worn that dreadful shirt. He wore it on Saturday, I didn't notice at first because he wore his waxed jacket done up tightly under his chin so that I couldn't see his shirt. This made him look rather like a character from that dreadful program that he likes so much - Kenny from South Park. The shirt looked every bit as bad as I had feared and I was cross with him for wearing it in public. Maybe he was wearing it for protection - to repel the Wild Woman, if so it worked! Come to think of it, it could well have been Robbie's shirt that distracted the lorry driver and caused the bridge bash on Saturday. He loves it, but I think it will look better after a mixed wash accident!!

Help! I Need Some Dark Glasses 16.01.08

Robbie had an accident today, he 'accidentally' bought a shirt! Apparently it jumped out at him when he was passing through Paddington Station. He went to great lengths to tell me that the price was reduced and it would have been £65 full price. Robbie has enough shirts to kit out an army so I wasn't overjoyed to find that he had bought yet another one, but there was no point making a big deal of it. He was carrying the shirt in one of those silly paper bags with string handles that you get from posh shops, I didn't take much notice and I didn't actually see the shirt until much later in the evening. He kept telling me how wonderful this shirt was, but when he finally showed me the shirt I was absolutely horrified. He knows I don't like check shirts, bit this is even worse, it has multicoloured lines running horizontally and vertically to create a check effect. It is hideous, it has red, pink, brown, light brown, dark blue, light blue, mustard and lemon stripes. It reminds me of one of the test cards we used to get on television. If he thinks I am going to let him leave the house wearing that he must be mad! I will have to get him tested for colour blindness.

Mistaken Identity? 14.02.07

We are off to Leicester bright and early in the morning. We are accompanying Emily on a visit to Leicester University, another of those occasions when I have to have to be on my best behaviour but Robbie will no doubt get away with being his usual (rather noticeable) self. Robbie announced he intended to wear what he calls a tie-less shirt, but I just think of it as a rather dodgy shirt. I don't like check patterns and I always think they make him look like a used car salesman. I vetoed the idea and he quite reasonably pointed out that he doesn't tell me what to wear, true, but that is mainly due to cowardice on his part. Anyway my two least favourite shirts seem to be temporarily missing - I can't think where they can be!

Emily wants to do Linguistics or English Language. It's odd that Leicester has a very good reputation for these courses when many people in the town (or is it a city) don't seem to speak English at all. Emily has had a number of other offers, so we will be repeating this process at Aston, Nottingham, Reading and Sheffield in the next few weeks. I would choose Sheffield, but I think Emily's favourites are Leicester and Nottingham.

By the way, thanks for the comments. I can't believe that Robbie is quieter at work, how do you achieve that? As for not telling people much about himself ....... are you sure you have the right person? The Robbie I know is just the opposite, he shares all sorts of intimate information with anyone who will listen. Have you met any other man who would treat his mother in law to an in depth account of his vasectomy including NWR. Even I didn't need that much information! Come to think of it, that was one of the few times I can recall my mum being lost for words!