Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.

For the last few days I have been creating extra pages that in due course will be linked to the blog. I have been looking back at old posts in order to select some favourites. It was a surprisingly emotional experience looking back through time to the start of the blog, I wrote the first post on this blog in November 2006. A lot of water has flowed under a lot of bridges since then. 

Reading those old posts has made me realise a few important things. Perhaps the clearest theme running through the posts is that Robbie gets away with murder at times, especially when it comes to abandoning me in favour of his beloved trains. That is mostly my fault for being too accepting of his odd little ways for too long. Reading those old posts has prompted me to make a big decision about my life and Robbie is not going to like it. It is time to take control, we have to de-clutter!! We have too much junk and it is taking up so much room that it will soon be standing room only! I can live with his obsession with the railway, but 'standing room only' is taking things too far.


We are both 'blessed' with the hoarding gene, but in my case it tends to relate mostly to books and to things that hold special memories for me such a as letters, old birthday cards and things that the children made as they grew up. Robbie just hoards, shoes, ties, books, magazines, pens, notebooks, model trains, vinyl records, cds, Lego minifigures .......... The list is endless, but you get the idea. It is time for both of us to bite the bullet and get rid of a lot of the clutter in our lives. It will take time, but it will make things so much easier and it will give us much more space when it is done. So this weekend we will take the first step, two black sacks each sounds like a reasonable start.

The Art of A Good Argument

The fact that Robbie and I argue will come as no surprise to regular readers of the blog, but the things that we argue about are perhaps a little more surprising. I listened to a discussion on the radio recently about the causes of arguments within relationships and I realised that Robbie and I argue about some very strange things compared to other people. So I decided to come up with a list, and looking back at the blog has revealed lots of evidence too..

The gender of God - Robbie is convinced that God is male, rather formal and definitely C of E, my understanding of God is considerably different. If Robbie gets too pompous about it I tell him that God is female and he loses it completely!   Sunday Morning Musings

The merits or otherwise of Ken Livingstone - This subject crops up when Robbie wants to provoke an argument, he knows exactly which buttons to press to get a reaction and it always works. The mere mention of that odious little man sends my blood pressure sky high and totally ruins my day. Red and Green, Not Fit to Be Seen

The fridge - Robbie is the self appointed ruler of the fridge. It has to be set out his way and he even expects me to buy condiments and such like in the correct size to fit in the spaces that he has designated for them. He is destined to be a very disappointed man because I do as I like!
The Fridge Police  Fitting In  King of the Fridge

Supermarket shopping - Supermarket shopping together is a very dangerous activity because it is very likely to lead to arguments. Robbie likes to push the trolley, to organise the trolley so that the items are stacked in the correct manner (according to him), to dictate the size shape and brand of item purchased and to be in complete control of the order the items are put through the checkout. There have been occasions when we have almost come to blows and on several memorable occasions he has danced with fury!  Survival - Against The Odds!

Trains come first - I shouldn't really complain, Robbie has never made any secret of the fact that he lives, breathes and sleeps trains, but there are occasions when it would be really nice if he could put me first just for a few minutes. In Disgrace Again 

Waking me up  - I really wish that I could make him understand how annoying it is to be woken up. He may be able to go to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, but if he wakes me up it takes me ages to get back to sleep. Of all the things that we argue about I find this the most hurtful because it is so thoughtless.  Tiredness Can Kill


What to wear - Robbie is so conventional in some ways, but when it comes to clothes he is unique, in fact I sometimes wonder about his sanity. The clothes he wears are a bit like him, loud, startling and a bit crazy - need I say more! I believe passionately in freedom of choice - my freedom to choose not to go out with him looking like that!! Human Rights


Hoarding - Both of us are hoarders, we both hoard different things for different reasons and it often leads to conflict. I have written countless posts about Robbie and his love of clutter, so it seems only fair to link to posts that explain what I hoard and why. Confessions of a Hoarder  Parting with Memories

Being tactless - Robbie has an unfortunate habit of speaking his thoughts and it can get him into big trouble at times Questions Questions 

Lack of awareness - Robbie is very lovable, but he has a complete lack of awareness of the way that his actions impact on those around him - mostly me!
Give Him an Inch and He Takes a Mile! 


The Location of the North - This is a matter of fierce debate. Having grown up in Northamptonshire I know that the North starts at Watford Gap but Robbie grew up in Staffordshire and he gets extremely annoyed when I say that he is from the north. We have a similar debate about the Midlands, Robbie thinks that the Midlands means Birmingham, but I keep telling him that Northamptonshire is classed as East Midlands while the whole area around Birmingham is the West Midlands. If yo really want a reaction from Robbie tell him that he has a Birmingham accent - and then run very fast!! I cant tell the difference but he insists that his Walsall accent is completely different.


Burial or Cremation - This is something that we will never agree about. When the time comes I want to be cremated because I think it is cleaner and more responsible, but Robbie wants to be planted. If he really annoys me I tell him that he will have to make sure he outlives me if he wants to get his own way, but he knows that if it came to it I would of course respect his wishes.

Some of these things are fairly trivial but some we could almost fight to the death over. Maybe that is why the blog is so useful, it helps me to get it out of my system without harming him! Some people say it is healthy to argue, it is better than not communicating at all and it is fun making up afterwards!

It's in the Genes

Robbie arrived home at 10pm last night, it had been a sad day and he was tired, but he had met up with many family members that he doesn't see very often. He said that after the funeral they were chatting about his uncle and the subject of hoarding cropped up, apparently he had a bit of a reputation for hoarding. Then the subject turned to Robbie's grandad and the marathon task of clearing his loft after he died. Apparently his grandad bought tools and paint brushes by the half dozen and squirreled the surplus items away in the loft because 'you never know when things like that will come in handy'. Of course it wasn't just tools, there were magazines and all sorts of odds and ends - so now I know where Robbie gets it from. Why did he have to inherit the hoarding trait, why couldn't he inherit the diy gene that his grandad, dad and uncles all shared!

As soon as Robbie got into the car I could tell he had been something with a very strong smell, at first he said it was a Subway roll, but then he remembered that he had eaten garlic mushrooms and scones (now there's a combination!). I didn't enquire further, I just tried not to breathe! He mentioned that he'd had a few pints (I already knew, I could smell it), he didn't too keen to define 'few' but he finally decided that it must have been three pints. I wasn't convinced by his maths but I knew it spelled trouble because he isn't used to it and it sends him to sleep. Sure enough he sat at the table with his laptop and before long he was sound asleep and leaning at a precarious angle. I kept waking him up but I couldn't make him go to bed so I gave up and left him downstairs. He came to bed at 3.30am after the dog woke him up!

Confessions of a Hoarder 15.07.07

I must admit that I am a bit of a hoarder, in fact I am a lot of a hoarder, only surpassed by Robbie who has developed his hoarding skills to Olympic standard. Since we don't live in a mansion we really need to get to grips with some of the more ridiculous excesses of hoarding. I had a stern word with myself on the subject yesterday when I was folding the towels from the tumble dryer. A frayed and tired looking pink towel emerged and I realised that I had bought that towel when I was only a little older than Emily, yes that makes it well over 20 years old, closer to 25! It has seen so many family milestones and family holidays but ultimately it is just a towel and it has to go. My grandma would have cut it up to make cleaning cloths but these days we use kitchen towels, so it will be heading for the rag bin at the recycling centre. Come to think of it my grandma even cut up 'smalls' to use as floor cloths or polishing cloths, but in those days 'smalls' were not exactly small!

I have already been fairly brutal with my wardrobe, on the principle that if it doesn't fit it doesn't stay, but there is still more work to do. When Robbie read my entry yesterday about his embarrassing pose, he pointed out that I would be equally at home in a Beryl Cook painting. Sadly it's true, I aspire to be thinner but I also aspire to be taller and I probably have as little chance of achieving the former as the latter. It seems to take all my effort just to maintain my present weight but if one day I achieve a more sylph like figure it will be such a huge achievement that I will reward myself with a whole new wardrobe. Until then, if it doesn't fit it doesn't stay.

Well, that is the easy bit, now to confess the clutter that I can't bear to part with. Books! I am terribly possessive about books and I simply can't bear to part with them. Between the bathroom and the airing cupboard we have a huge bookcase that reaches all the way up to the ceiling. It is full of children's books, all grown out of long ago, but all loved and cherished and far too precious to part with. Sometimes I find myself walking upstairs and stopping at the bookcase to look at one of the books and to remember those precious days when the children were younger. That bookcase is just the tip of the iceberg more children's books are crated up and stored under Sam's bed (to stop him stuffing all his junk under there) and believe it or not I donated about 8 crates of books to a small school last year! We all have bookcases in our bedrooms and all are overflowing, Robbie's railway books and magazines intrude into every room, not to mention his cd's, vinyl records and model trains and track paraphernalia. There's no alternative, the books are taking over the house so we will have to buy a tent and live in the garden!

Laura wrote this when she was at Middle School, somehow it sums up why I find it so hard to part with their books, and yes I admit it we have a loft full of teddy bears!

My Bedroom

Through half closed eyes, at night
The memories are played.
Of different times
In this same room
Of younger, carefree days

I see the cheerful colours
And teddy bear designs
That once I loved,
In this same room.
The happiest of times

I hear the gentle voices
Of a younger dad and mum;
Reading to me
In this same room.
Of fairy-tales and fun.

I recall the doll’s pram
And the much loved teddy bear
That used to be
In this same room
When make believe reigned there

I see the Christmas stocking
That Santa came to fill
With childish gifts
In this same room
When magic charmed me still

I remember details
Of how it used to be,
When life was young
In this same room.
Time was eternity

My eyes survey the chaos
Surrounding me today;
Keepsakes and clutter
In this same room.
I treasure yesterday

Ever present memories
Of warmth and love and care
Surround me now
In this same room
A love that’s always there.


By Laura Jones

Happy Birthday Robbie 15.03.07

Happy Birthday Robbie - 35 Today! He is feeling very old this morning, so please be kind to him.

Robbie and Emily went to look at Aston University yesterday. Emily liked the course there, Linguistics and French and she seemed to quite like the university. She has finally made her choices, Leicester as first choice and Aston second, she has declined the others.

I had a report back from one of my researchers concerning the state of Robbie's desk - diabolical! Maybe Virgin needs a clear desk policy!! Obviously his hoarding gene gets him into trouble at work too. I was surprised to hear that other desks in his office were equally bad, I wonder if that is due to his influence on his colleagues or them setting him a bad example!