Getting a word in edgeways

On Sunday evening Robbie, my son and I were sitting in the lounge, they were watching something boring on television and I was chatting to someone on the internet. The adverts came on and I commented on one which really annoys me. Rather than making me want to buy their products it makes me want to shop elsewhere to punish them for such irritating adverts. My son who was sitting on the other side of the room said "Mum, speak with your inside voice!"
Robbie was sitting in the corner trying to hide the fact that he was giggling like Mutley. He and my son are like two little kids, each takes great pleasure in seeing the other one get into trouble, but at other times they gang up and tease me. I overcame the urge to dash across the room and grab him by the throat, preferring instead to let him hear considerably more of my 'outside voice'. 

I pointed out that I had put up with a lifetime of drivel from my son. I had smiled sweetly during his 'dinosaur phase' while being subjected to more information than anyone could ever need to know about the life and times of the dinosaur. Then there had been his Denis the Menace phase, his spy phase, the Superman phase. Not to mention his obsessive interest in all things film related - and I do mean all things film related, he nearly drove me mad with the myth of the hanging Munchkin. Then we come to Robbie, I don't know where to start when it comes to his obsessions, he shares Lego, Dr Martens, Indie music, Hornby, railways in general, buses, books, magazines ......... and that really is the tip of the iceberg. I can assure you that he doesn't hold back when it comes to sharing his enthusiasm about all these subjects - even at the most inappropriate moments. Thanks to Robbie I know so much about the workings (and failings) of train toilets that I could choose it as a specialist subject on Mastermind! I have never once asked either of them to 'speak with their inside voice' and I have put up with both of them having the attention span of a gnat when it comes to anything I want to talk to them about. Well the worm has turned! Prepare to be bored rigid boys, you are going to hear a lot more of my voice, as they say, if you can't beat them join them!!

On The Buses

George Row, Northampton

It's Heritage Weekend, many buildings and places of interest in Northampton were open to the public, but the highlight for Robbie was the old buses. They were taking people on tours around the town via an assortment of interesting places. Robbie didn't seem to mind that some of the buses had never been used in Northampton or even Northamptonshire, but it mattered to me. It was nice to see a couple of our old red buses, but it would have been lovely to have seen one or two of our old green (county) buses. 

This is the bus that Robbie travelled on today

This bus is rather like the one that I used to catch to get home from school it brings back a few memories. I often travelled by bus in those days but I have probably only been on a bus about twice in the last twenty years. I don't really have good or bad memories of buses, they just took you to where you wanted to be and if you were very lucky they were on time. 


As a very young child, I often travelled on the bus to my aunt's house and back. I liked that because our journey took us past Castle Station and my aunt usually let us sit on the top deck so I could look out of the window and see everything going on at the station. There was much more going on in those days, and the bus paused at the traffic lights I could look across towards the goods yard. So I guess for me buses were just a means of seeing the things that I wanted to see!

This is the bus that took me home from school

A Northampton bus conductor

The conductor used to have a little machine with different coloured (and different priced) tickets on rolls, so when you paid your fare he or she just pushed a lever and produced the correct ticket. Most conductors were reasonably cheerful, but when someone decided to modernise the world and change to one man buses the drivers seemed to be as miserable as sin. I disliked one man (or should I say person) operated buses and for me that was when bus travel took a turn for the worse and became something to avoid if at all possible.

Northampton bus tickets

I lived and worked in Sheffield for a while in 1983 and I liked their buses very much because the drivers were not miserable and payment was simple. They had a hopper thing to drop your coins in and the ticket that was produced had an imprint of the coins that you had put in. As far as I recall it was called a videmat ticket machine. I haven't seen that system anywhere else but there again I don't go out of my way to travel by bus. 

So for those like Robbie who are interested in anything with wheels, here are some pictures of the other buses that were out and about in Northampton on Saturday. Robbie is so obsessed that he will be back 'on the buses' on Sunday

A Troubling Obsession?

When we were on the train on Sunday Robbie waited until I was relaxed and comfortable, then he rummaged in his rucksack and brought out a leaflet. He opened the leaflet and slid it across the table towards me with a big grin on his face. There were pictures of old buses (Robbie is a bit of a closet bus spotter!) but my eyes fell on a much more troubling picture of milk floats. This place (I can't remember where it was - I was too traumatised!) has a collection of milk floats. Why would anyone want a collection of milk floats? I hate milk floats even more than I hate Volvos, they get in my way, they park inconsiderately and and they always seem to be driven by fiercely ugly old men. As far as I am concerned the only sensible thing to do with a milk float is to blow it up 'Braniacs' style!

I gave Robbie a steady stare, I can put up with a lot, I don't mind his obsession with trains, I can tolerate his 'thing' about buses but if he is going to get into milk floats that is a step too far, its unnatural, in fact it's scarily weird. Robbie guiltily admitted that he wanted to go to see the buses with a friend of his. I grudging agreed on the strict understanding NO MILK FLOATS! I can tolerate most of his enthusiasms but milk floats are a step too far!

Pillow Talk

When I woke this morning my mouth felt like sandpaper after yet another night of coughing. I lay there trying to send telepathic messages to Robbie that I needed a cup of tea, but he just carried on snoring. I tried more direct methods and pinched his bum, that was more effective and after several attempts he roused for just long enough to steal the whole duvet. Eventually he woke up but I still had an eternity to wait for my tea. He put his arm around me, cuddled up and embarked on a detailed monologue of the exact journey times for all the replacement buses between Northampton and Euston yesterday – scintillating! Just when I thought my ordeal was coming to an end he decided to name every station between Euston and Birmingham New Street and then he speculated on the meaning of each name! Finally nature succeeded where I had failed, he needed the loo and he plodded off to the bathroom. He returned at last with a cup of tea and when he got back in bed I made sure he kept well away from the subject of trains. He is so exhausting, I may have to send him back to work before New Year in order to get a few hours respite!

Why does he have to be quite so unique!! 12.05.07

The 'Random Robbie' for this weekend was good even by his standards. Usual thing, wrong time, wrong place and Robbie paused briefly to grasp a passing thought. He said "you know what you don't see around these days?" I didn't answer, but resistance was futile and he meandered on "I'm not sure if the prefix was 7 or 9 ....... (brief pause) no, it was 9, they used 6 and 7 for school buses". By this time I had given up hope and taken up knitting!

A little later he had realised that talking about buses while enjoying some quiet time with his wife on a Saturday morning was not really the way to win friends and influence people. He cuddled up and gave me his undivided attention - briefly! Then we got the second quote of the day "Did you know that they have 2000% inflation in Zimbabwe?" Yes, I knew they were in a bad way, but he really does choose his moments to choose to discuss world politics!

A bit later in the morning I was talking about something important and he appeared to be listening, he gave himself away by interrupting me mid sentence to tell me about a terrible nightmare that he had last night. The cause of this nocturnal angst - he dreamed that his new Dr Marten boots had fallen apart!

Why does he have to be quite so unique!!