As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. Ellen Perry Berkele

Returning home from holiday felt like coming back to reality with a bump. We still have the huge cloud of the disputed CSA arrears hanging over us, as well as various other worries and uncertainties, and I really need to find another job. When we walked into the house there was no one there to welcome us, no wagging tail, just a dog shaped space where Meg should have been, I am really going to miss her, she was part of our family.

The cats were doing their own thing, Oreo was at the top of the stairs watching the birds out of the window and Dave was dozing on the sofa, he chose not to notice our arrival. Usually he would come to me straight away, but when I put my hand out to touch him he turned away, making it very clear that he was not happy with me. We had loads to do on Sunday evening, so there wasn't much time to think about Dave, but he managed to radiate disapproval, he was punishing me for going away and leaving him. He kept up the hostility until lunchtime on Monday, then when I sat down with my laptop he came and sat on the back of my chair, then after a little while I noticed that he had moved silently on to my lap and was purring loudly - I had been forgiven!


'For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.' Anon

Robbie On A Bad Day

Where do I start? Maybe I should just say that Robbie's mood yesterday evening was a little fragile, it was clear that he was tired - the sound of snoring was a bit of a hint! I went to bed at around 11pm and I thought he would follow shortly after - he didn't! I made sure that all my alarm clocks were set correctly because it always takes my body clock a few days to adjust to losing an hour. Then I settled down to sleep. The next thing I remember is being woken by someone treading on my ankle - Robbie had finally decided to come to bed. I probably told him to go away as I drifted back to sleep, but I was woken again shortly after by a loud bleep, then another, then a whole series of bleeps and a flashing blue light. In my confused and sleepy state I couldn't work out what was going on, was it morse code or some sort of secret message? I forced my eyes open to see Robbie kneeling naked on the bed attempting to change the time setting on his new Lego alarm clock. There was a brief but brutal exchange of insults and I advised Robbie to take clock to the bathroom to set it with the light on! It was just after 2am and I was determined to get some sleep so I turned my back on him and pulled the duvet over my head.


His Lego alarm clock announced  that it was 5am and time to get up - he slept on. After several further episodes of blue lights and bleeping and considerable input from me, Robbie plodded off to the bathroom. That dratted alarm clock continued to serenade me every 5 minutes until Robbie returned, I wanted to implant it in his head but I restrained myself and told him to take it away and drown it! His interest was then taken up with pants! Allegedly I had deliberately deprived him of his favourite underwear by failing to do a dark wash yesterday. I did a dark wash on Sunday evening, how many pairs of pants could he possibly have got through since then! I provided him with clean pants and socks but he wasn't keen to let go of the issue and he continued muttering about the underwear conspiracy until he found something else to moan about. Apparently I have deliberately failed to oil the hinges on our bedroom door just to annoy him! That man makes my hands itch sometimes!!


The thing is that none of those things were the real problem. The truth is that he is in so much pain from his back and his legs that he doesn't know how to put one foot in front of the other. He will not go to the doctor because he knows there is nothing they can do except give stronger pain killers. I feel so useless, I wish I could make the pain go away, I wish I could do something, anything to make it easier for him. There has to be some way to ease the pain and I am not going to give up until I find it!


Photo by Clix

The 'S' Word

I had an unusually silent day yesterday, because Robbie decided he wasn't talking to me and I decided to leave him to stew in his own juice. We have plenty of children in our family already, I really don't have the time or the energy to deal with a 37 year old kid. Wednesday is a very busy day for me so I wasn't really troubled by his silence, I hardly noticed it. He didn't arrive home at his usual time, in fact he didn't arrive home at all so his dinner went in the dog and the apple and blackberry crumble I had made remained uneaten. When I had done all my work I went to bed and I was woken at around half past eleven by Robbie, still in a strop commanding me to make sure I didn't leave the key in the door. I think that was a coded message for please can you pick me up from the station, but since he couldn't even be civil I wasn't going to offer. I went straight back to sleep, so I don't know when he got home or how he got there, but he didn't manage to get himself to bed until just before 4am - I suspect he fell asleep in the lounge.

This morning he was silent and his lip was sticking out so far that he was in danger of tripping over it. I didn't have anything to say but eventually Robbie broke the silence, he almost spat out the words “Look I'm sorry”. I was quiet for a moment, I told him I was glad he was sorry but to have any meaning an apology needs to sound sincere, he tried again and came a bit closer to a recognisable apology. He knew he had been completely out of order, but in true Robbie style when he found himself in a hole he kept on digging – if he wants to dig there is a whole garden outside in need of his attention!

He went to London last night to see a group called The Editors, I believe he had mentioned it to me last week, but he really should have reminded me yesterday. Never mind, he missed out on a nice meal and he made his own life unnecessarily difficult; maybe he has learnt a lesson but somehow I doubt it. He now acknowledges that the bookcase resembles the Leaning Tower of Pisa, he says he is going to repair it – I wonder why Heath Robinson springs to mind! I know that he is deeply attached to his railway books, but why do they all have to be in the lounge?

Timetable Chaos

Robbie was absolutely evil this morning, the shower had put him in a bad mood - it has died! Ge was like a gorilla in a rage, charging around the house thumping and bumping and growling with frustration, not to mention the string of expletives that we were treated to. I can understand him being frustrated but it is not the end of the world, we have plenty of hot water and he can still have a bath until the shower is back in action. When I tried to point out that it wasn't an insurmountable problem he almost bit my head off, but it became obvious what the problem was - it has messed up his timings and thrown his whole morning timetable into chaos! The shower is not quite 5 years old, surely it should last longer than that!

To Go Or Not To Go.

When I was writing my list of annoying things that Robbie had done yesterday, I forgot to write about the most annoying thing of all. We were driving back from North Walsham along a narrow winding road and my attention was focussed on the road when suddenly Robbie exclaimed “Eh eh eeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh!” at the top of his voice (the noise made by Anne in Little Britain). I hate him making that noise and shouting out like that when I was driving made me call him some unfortunate names!

To continue the car theme, this morning we went to Wroxham and I asked Robbie to set the sat nav for me, he refused because he knew a better route!! I shouted at him so he grudgingly set the sat nav and it gave me instructions in a foreign language while Robbie whooped with laughter in the passenger seat. I told him off for resetting it to Polish and he insisted that he hadn't set it to speak Polish, then as an afterthought he said that it wasn't Polish it was Czech!

When we got to Wroxham I went to look at a big shop called Roys because I wanted to buy a new cd player because my old one is not working very well. I decided on the one I wanted, it was the kind that had a radio and could play tapes and cd's, but Robbie got really upset because he wanted me to have a different one, very similar in price, but not what I wanted. He just wouldn't give up on it, he kept going on and on about why I should like his choice better. I bought the one I liked, but he is still isn't happy!
Despite Robbie's peculiarities we had quite a nice day.

We had to take a walk to the shop this evening because the 'fridge police' had a tantrum in Tesco the other day when I wanted to buy more bacon and he wouldn't let me buy it, but as I predicted we had none left and Robbie wanted bacon. He doesn't like to be wrong, but he had more important things on his mind, he said that we should spend more time together. He then offered to take me to York first class, from Kings Cross on a Grand Central HST. I told him I wasn't fussed and I would rather have the money – he must think I am stupid, I know what is at York. He just wants an excuse to go to the NRM! He then gave me a long speech about us needing to do things together, I agreed but said that I would like to do non train type things and when he asked for an example I said brass rubbing (the first boring thing that came into my head). I have to give him credit for quick thinking because he said fine, he would look into it and find somewhere that we could travel to by train to to brass rubbing – no way! In the end I took pity on him and told him that I would quite like to have a day out on a train, but not on an HST, I want to go on a Virgin Train – he is not impressed.

Seals!

Unfortunately Friday ended with Robbie having a massive strop, he wanted to go and play trains on Saturday and I was happy to discuss the possibility because I would have welcomed a peaceful day, but he seriously thought I was going to get up to take him to the station at 6am – no chance!! I did offer to take him later but that wasn't good enough so he stayed at the bungalow in splendid silence with a sulky look and his bottom lip sticking out. He can be totally impossible at times!

It was a lovely day and we stayed at the bungalow to enjoy the beach and the garden. Sam saw three seals in the sea, he came running back to tell us about them, but by the time we got there we could only see one, it stayed quite close to the beach for ages so I was able to take some photos.

Slow Learner

Robbie is having trouble with his knees - no it is not another post about his legs misbehaving, this time the cause is crystal clear - groveling! In the past I have called him a slow learner, I was being generous his behaviour this week suggests rank stupidity. He waited until Thursday morning to ask if he could 'play trains' at the weekend. I am not at my best before 6am so it was stupid to ask me when I was still half asleep. To add insult to injury he then tells me that it will only be a day and I will hardly notice that he isn't there. A little more digging illicited the information that he would leave for work on Friday morning and arrive home late morning on Sunday - since when does Friday to Sunday equal one day? Last night he sat there with a face like a pig's bottom (not that I am over familiar with the nether regions of pigs) and a little black cloud of doom hanging over him. I was so angry with him, this is our last weekend before going on holiday, there is loads of work to do getting things ready and I don't see why I should do all the hard work while he is out having fun. It didn't help that he had his headphones in and spent the evening doing 'train stuff' on the computer. This morning he tried the 'poor pathetic me act' and it made me feel like breaking something - his neck probably! I decided to let him go for his own safety and because I will have a nicer weekend without him, but he needs to watch out, he is going to be a very busy boy next week!!

Horns and a Tail!

Robbie has been totally horrible all weekend, he went down to make a cup of tea on Saturday morning and came back with horns and a tail! He thumped and clattered around all day and as I wasn't feeling very well, I really didn't have the energy to be bothered with him. He was just as bad this morning, but thankfully he went out to take his frustration out on the garden and left me in relative peace to get on with my work. He declined a trip to Tesco's so I went without him, then he turned down a visit to my mum's so I went without him again. He waited until I had got to mum's then rang me to complain that I had gone without him apparently when he said no what he actually meant was yes. I have always known he was in touch with his feminine side, but that is ridiculous!

By 9pm this evening he decided to speak to me again. It began with a 'do you know' then he went on to ask me about the most frequent and least frequent causes of death in the Miss Marple books by Agatha Christie. As soon as I had answered his questions on crime fiction he embarked on a whole series of facts about the shipping forecast areas, and I found myself wishing for silence. It seems he bought himself a book called Shott's Original Miscellany when he went out yesterday. I managed to silence him with a stern look, but his colleagues better watch out because the book is small enough to slip into his briefcase and it is bursting with enough facts to keep Robbie talking for weeks!