All Dressed Up 07.11.07

Sam came home from school feeling deeply aggrieved. Apparently the much detested cross country running has been 'repackaged' and is now timetabled as 'run for fun'. Fun implies a degree of choice and enjoyment but 'run' most certainly does not! Sam confirmed that the new lesson was indistinguishable from cross country, in fact it was so bad that he almost collapsed. Some things never change! My school successfully inoculated me against sport, athletics, swimming, music and latin and now in these allegedly enlightened times Sam's school is doing exactly the same thing to him. Exercise is important, but you can't bully people to exercise, the only way is to encourage them and make it genuinely enjoyable

My schooldays began in the 1960's when times were changing fast - but my school clung to outdated rules and traditions. Our uniform was rigidly enforced, panama hat, blazer, white gloves and gingham dress in summer and Harris tweed coat, winter hat, navy gloves, blouse, tie, skirt and cardigan in winter. We had indoor shoes and outdoor shoes as well as plimsolls and dancing shoes, so much of our day was taken up with changing our shoes. Our regulation hanging purses provided ample opportunity to strangle ourselves, but if we survived until break time they often came undone as we ran around playground causing grazed knees. After break the classroom always smelled of TCP!

Rules were strongly enforced, hat, gloves and outdoor shoes were obligatory when outside, even on a hot summer day. At the end of the school day we had to be checked by a teacher before leaving to ensure that we had our hats and gloves on. We were not allowed to eat in the street under any circumstances, that was an unforgivable sin. We had to participate in a number of ceremonies and rituals each year, church service on Ascension Day, Speech Day, Harvest Festival, Sports Day and the Carol Service. That all sounds very innocent until you consider that we spent days learning how to walk and how to shake hands so that we would be able to accept a winners ribbon on sports day. Harvest Festival and Ascension Day required days of practice and the carol service required us to learn to sing in Latin! I detested all the fuss and those early school memories have inoculated me against all forms of pomp and circumstance. I like things plain, simple and unpretentious.

With that in mind I was very interested to read Jan's blog today. She wrote a fascinating entry about the state opening of parliament and all the ritual and custom involved. Jan quite rightly pointed out how special our traditions are. I found it quite thought provoking as I had never really considered it before, I would be sad to see our traditions lost, but on the other hand it seems a bit ridiculous. It all seems a bit 'Emperor's New Clothes' a lot of pomp and very little substance. I found myself feeling sorry for the Queen, I'm sure she would rather be at home with her feet up watching Judge Judy instead of meeting a load of weird old men wearing tights and fancy dress. She has to sit there and read a speech written by someone else about all the 'good' intentions of her government. This year it wasn't even news, the prime minister announced it all last month. The Queen must have seen so many failed ideas repackaged and dressed up to seem more acceptable to the public. On that subject I wonder why the European Constitution springs so readily to mind! In the end cross country running cannot be made more palatable just by giving it a new name, and schoolboys know when they are being conned - I suspect the British public know when they are being conned too!

Travel Traumas 10.10.07

Robbie had terrible journeys to and from work yesterday. His train arrived at the station more or less on time in the morning but it remained rooted to the spot for over 40 minutes as it lacked one vital ingredient - train crew. Apparently there was some sort of obstruction at Coventry and they had been stranded. His homeward journey departed on time but it terminated at Rugby due to multiple signal failure. I received a series of increasingly frustrated calls from Robbie, but eventually they were on the move again and Robbie estimated that he would be at Northampton by 7.35pm. I was having my own day from hell, car problems, road works causing massive delays and children needing me to be in two different places at the same time, but I agreed to collect him. More phone calls and the time was gradually pushed back, until at 8pm I had to abandon my wait for Robbie and dash across town to pick up Sam from his school. He had been helping at a parents evening as a science representative. He should have been ready by 8.15pm at the latest, but after the impossibility of trying to park I found that he still wasn't ready, and after waiting around for 20 minutes I had to get extremely assertive to force someone to go and find him. Having got into the car park, getting out again was even more of a challenge!

Finally I was able to head back to pick Robbie up, his train had eventually arrived at 8.20pm - two hours late! He was now cold, tired and ravenously hungry. I expected him to be furious about the chaos, but thankfully his spirits had been lifted slightly because his missing trousers and his new briefcase had been delivered to work that day. I'd been quietly insistent about Robbie needing a briefcase on wheels because he gets so much pain in his back and legs, but I had to wait until Robbie accepted the idea and ordered it himself! He made a very good choice, he is almost as fascinated by briefcases and bags as he is by trains and he spent a very long time telling me about all the features of the bag - apparently it even has a light inside!

By the time I got Robbie and Sam home, I didn't even have time for a cup of tea before I had to go out again to collect Laura. It must have been about 10.40 before I finally got home. Robbie was still talking about trains and in the course of his very detailed account of his home bound journey, he explained that the progress between Rugby and Northampton was painfully slow because the hand signaller had to walk ahead before the train could leave. After a day like that, a completely different kind of hand signal sprang to mind!

Departures 24.06.07

Well, I've been abandoned again! This time he has gone to work - who in their right mind would go to work on a Sunday just to be allowed to do more but different work during the week - he's potty. Even worse there were no trains running so his journey to and from work took twice as long!

So I found myself alone in bed this morning with nothing more exciting to think about than the imminent departure of Tony Blair (at last!). It seems that now that he has finally been dislodged from UK politics he is to be paid a ridiculous sum to head overseas with the aim of bringing peace and co-operation to the middle east. Now I don't have too much trouble with the idea of paying him to go away, somewhat belated maybe, but a good idea. The bit that troubles me is the plan to send him to the middle east, surely they have enough problems without having to put up with him as well! Apparently this was the idea of President Bush; I know he makes Winnie the Pooh look like a genius, but where on the Blair CV is there anything to suggest that he could bring peace and harmony to any part of the world? The man couldn't even get on with his own chancellor and surely even Bush cant imagine that Iraq was a success!!!

My prediction for the Deputy Leadership proved somewhat wide of the mark. Harriet Harman surprised everyone by just scraping a victory over some other faceless wonder who for some reason or other was the bookies favourite. Not that it matters, she will have about as much power and influence as the milk monitor in a primary school. Whoops, that aged me a bit! We did have milk monitors 'in my day', we also had a book monitor and an ink monitor, but the prized job was bell monitor. It was the job of one of the oldest children to go to the hall table and ring the bell at the end of each lesson. It was a polished brass bell with a lovely wooden handle, it was very heavy and surprisingly loud

Back to reality, another more upsetting departure has been announced. Thierry Henry is to leave Arsenal for Barcelona - that is something worth feeling sad about!