Everyone wants to escape sometimes

I am getting bored with this now, the snow is still here and it looks as if it intends to stay. My son's school was closed and my daughter was unable to drive to Leicester to get to university, so we had the pleasure of their company at home. My son wandered around with an air of disapproval and he resisted all my efforts to encourage him to do something useful. My daughter was less visible but it was clear that our weekday routine was getting in the way of her plans for the day

Robbie was up and ready for work very early this morning, he wanted to get all his work done so that he could finish early and go out this afternoon. The snow has kept him away from the railways for a few days and it doesn't take long for him to get withdrawal symptoms. So this afternoon I braved the weather and the roads to drive Robbie to the station. The main roads were not too bad but if you strayed on to the very icy side roads you had to take your life in your hands.  

I only had an hour of 'peace' without Robbie, then I had to go to work, but it least it gave my son and daughter a chance to watch television and take possession of the lounge for a few hours. Robbie returned late but happy, the train for his return journey was rather special (according to Robbie) so he had plenty to tell me about his afternoon. I'd been worried about him falling over in the snow, but thankfully he managed to stay upright thanks to his Dr Martens shoes.

Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book, write a good one.

2013 arrived with a bang or to be more accurate it arrived with an irritating cacophony of bangs from fireworks which began way before midnight and went on for far too long afterwards. I don't approve of fireworks at New Year, they are a fairly recent intrusion into our new year celebrations, when I was young fireworks we only had fireworks on 5th November. It is a pity we can't go back to the way things used to be, in fact it I would be happier if they banned them completely except for organised displays because they are dangerous and they frighten pets and other animals  

Yesterday we spent the day at my mum's house celebrating her birthday. It was a real house full, my brother, his partner, my two little nephews, as well as my family. It was such a lovely day, my youngest nephew has just learned to walk and he spent the day showing off his new skill. His big brother who is four and a half enjoyed lots of attention from his grown up cousins. Today was a perfect start to the new year, my mum and stepfather spent the day with us, it was a nice relaxed family time. So we spent the last day of the old year and the first day of the new year with some of the people who matter most to us, our family. Tomorrow we will be back at work and the I will be up at the crack of dawn to drop Robbie at the station. I don't really mind, I have some very happy memories of Christmas and the New Year, we have to get back to work and the normal day to day routine because the bills will not pay themselves. For now Robbie is making the most of his freedom, he is sitting at the table playing with his Lego! When I have finished writing for the blog I am going to answer the first question in my five year question and answer journal.

“Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked” - Warren Buffet

I am one of those people who doesn't like hot or strong tasting food, but my son a more adventurous attitude to food. He enjoys hot and spicy tastes and one of his favourite treats is hot salsa dip. When I went shopping a couple of days ago I bought him some salsa dip because it was on offer. I was I a bit of a rush when I got home and I absent-mindedly packed it into the fridge with the chilled items. The fridge was rather full so I just tucked items in whatever spaces I could find because I knew the fridge fairy (Robbie) would rearrange it anyway - he always does!

We have a fridge freezer with the freezer at the bottom and the fridge above and I find it hard to reach  the top shelves of the fridge. I don't know why I put the salsa dip in front of the milk on the top shelf, but it certainly wasn't intended to be a booby trap. The salsa had escaped Robbie's attention on the day of purchase, but it made it's presence felt the following morning. It is Robbies habit to wander downstairs wearing 'not a lot' to make a coffee (tea for me) and to feed the cats. He opened the fridge and reached up to get a new bottle of milk and the glass jar of dip fell from a great height, smashed and splattered everywhere. Thankfully 'everywhere' did not include that sensitive spot that would probably have required a trip to casualty. However it did involve a massive clean up operation which disrupted his morning routine - I was not popular! 

An Emergency Coffee Cup

Mornings in our house have a nasty habit of starting too early and even when we are up on time (5am) it only takes one thing to go wrong to mess up the whole day. That was the case last Friday, everything was going well, Robbie dressed only in pants and socks trotted into the kitchen clutching his trousers to flick the kettle on before vanishing into the lounge. He emerged 'suited and booted' a couple of minutes later and headed back to the kitchen to make his coffee for the train. He took the milk from the fridge, reached for the coffee and then stopped in his tracks. There was a missing ingredient - his travel mug! Suddenly the tune Yakety Sax began to play in my head as Robbie jumped into fast forward mode (Benny Hill style), darting around the house in search of his mug. It was not there, and now Robbie was running late. I chased him out to the car and drove him to the station as fast as the speed limit would allow. He was devastated, his favourite mug was gone, probably left on the train the night before! He dashed off into the station with just enough time to console himself with a quick visit to the coffee shop before boarding the train. 


Later that morning as promised I set out in search of an emergency replacement mug. I managed to get one just like the missing one, it was the last one in the shop so he was very lucky. Robbie has checked, but the other mug has not found it's way to lost property. Perhaps it got bored with travelling to Birmingham every day - I certainly would!

Good Advice

My mum once told me that when it comes to men what you see is what you get, trying to change them just leads to frustration and disappointment. Judge Judy expressed it rather more eloquently when she said "Don't try to teach a pig to sing because it wastes your time and it annoys the pig"

From the time we first met it was obvious that I was not going to be able to change Robbie significantly (I'm not even sure that I wanted to) so over time I have adapted to his many idiosyncrasies and his need to stick to routines and do things his way. It is only when his routines get changed that I notice his funny little ways and even then it sometimes takes someone else to point it out.

Yesterday Robbie had meetings in Milton Keynes so he didn't need set out at his usual time. We had talked about it and I was going to drop him off at the station after taking Sam to school and before dropping Emily off at work. He could fit into their schedule without us needing to make any adjustments - at least that was the plan. Robbie is not the only person in our family with odd little ways and rigid routines!

I had been pottering around upstairs enjoying the luxury of a little extra time and when I went downstairs I expected to see everyone dressed an almost ready to go. Sam and Emily sat next to each other on the sofa with their coats and bags, like anxious patients in a dentist's waiting room. Both had their eyes firmly fixed on Robbie who stood near the dining table not quite dressed and looking far from ready. His bag was open and the contents had been taken out and piled up around it. Robbie, who showed no sense of urgency was busy sharpening pencils! At first I said nothing but as time went on his lack of progress began to worry me, he was going to make us late.

Emily looked as if she was ready to explode and when he picked up a fourth pencil and began to sharpen it she asked if that was really the best use of his time at that moment. With clear irritation Robbie told her that he had to do it now because he didn't want to take the pencil sharpener with him. He always stuffs his bag with a load of junk, so I don't think a tiny little sharpener would make much difference. We went out and waited for him in the car and eventually he emerged dressed and ready to go. Clearly it is very important to have plenty of lead in your pencil when visiting Milton Keynes!

Stop Looking At Me

Robbie has become very odd about his early morning routine, in fact there is no routine. Sometimes he goes even earlier than his usual stupidly early start, but sometimes he goes slightly later. Robbie is a creature of habit so all this randomness is rather alarming. I discounted the possibility that he is conducting an early morning affair with a woman with disorganised travel habits. in fact if he had the stamina to manage that first thing in the morning he would deserve a medal. Anyway there are very few people around who could cope with Robbie's incessant babbling about the history of British swimming baths or other equally gripping trivia at any time of day, so it is unlikely that anyone would have the fortitude to endure it before 6am!

I couldn't work out what was going on so I had to confront him about it. After a bit of bluster he admitted that there was a problem - green trains! I can understand him not liking the colour, it is hideous, but I couldn't understand why they were disrupting his life. Apparently he is going to considerable lengths to avoid them because they have a different seating plan and he hates it because he can't have his usual seat, he thinks people look at him!

Timetable Change

Robbie fell asleep on the sofa last night, I did my best to get him to bed but he sat down again and insisted that he had to wish the cat goodnight, so in the end I gave up and left him and the cat to it. Apparently he woke up and wondered where he was at about 1.30am and he finally found his way up to bed. When the alarm clock went off just before 5am Robbie was very reluctant to get up, but eventually I managed to boot him out and he came back with a cup of tea for me, but he then got back into bed and said he had re timed our morning timetable and he was going to catch a slightly later train. It was lovely to have a few extra minutes in bed, but it really messed up my morning routine. It is an odd week anyway because Laura is away on a Geography field trip and Emily is back at uni so there is just me and Sam once Robbie has gone to work. I cant get used to it, I have twice gone to wake Laura up this week, it feels really strange. Sam is usually like a bear with a sore head in the morning, and getting him organised in time for school can be a bit of a challenge, but despite Robbie's change to our morning routine I got 'Mr Grumpy' to school at his usual time.

Laura will be home tomorrow, I have really missed her this week, she seems to be having a good time, but she was very upset that she got rained on and it made her hair go curly. She will not like the picture I have added, you can tell from her expression exactly what she thinks of having her photo taken!

Back to Reality

On Monday morning I had that disconcerting experience of waking up and having no idea where I was. Then with a sinking feeling I realised that I wasn't on holiday any more, I was back at home in my own bed, in the real world and our holiday is just a fading memory. I really don't want the summer to end, it has been nice to have more time with Sam, Laura and Emily and now there is only one week left before school starts again. Before we know it the clocks will be changing and the dark days of winter will stretch ahead of us.

The more immediate reality of work and daily routine can not be avoided, but I am determined not to let it completely overshadow family time. Coming home after a holiday makes you look at things with a fresh eye and I am determined to de-clutter the house. there is also too much stuff and too little space. I am also going to redecorate the kitchen, I have been promising that I would do it for ages, but I have to stop thinking and get on with it. We have had temporary fencing up on one side of the garden for months, it only required three panels but Robbie turned a supposedly simple task into a bureaucratic exercise of endless planning and indecision – he's been spending too much time with Network Rail! In the end I gave him an ultimatum, if he couldn't get it up I would find someone who could! So yesterday he and Sam ventured out into the garden and after three hours of effort they had managed to erect one panel! Oh well, only two more to go. Maybe Robbie should stick to train planning!

Best Foot Forward!

Sam has a teacher training day today. He has been looking forward to it all week! He is a bit like me, he doesn't dislike school but he could always think of something better to do. Today we are going out to buy school shoes and I am feeling rather apprehensive after the disaster last time. It ended with Sam having a major strop because I wouldn't buy him a pair of Sketchers. I bought the school shoes that Sam had selected , but he withdrew his cooperation and he has only worn the shoes once or twice because he claims that they 'rip his feet to bits'. I wouldn't say that Sam exaggerates, he just likes a good headline! Yesterday he claimed that his life was so controlled that it was like living in a communist state! My 'sin' on that occasion was to restrict the amount of pepperoni I was prepared to buy in a week. Sam would eat it every day if he was given the chance.

Anyway back to shoes, after the last fiasco I made him manage with his old shoes if he refused to wear the new ones, but now they are falling off his feet and I think Sam understands that we have to get it right this time. I think to some extent the difficulties are linked to his Aspergers, he has very fixed ideas about things and he doesn't like change unless he decides to change something - come to think of it that sound like Robbie too! For the last two or three years each time Sam has had new school shoes they have been exactly like the ones before, but the last time they were a different style. I think we have to go back to the tried and tested style, at least that will be a safe option. After past experience I think I would rather go to the dentist than shoe shopping with Sam!

Robbie - by Sam. 16.01.07

Sam, has decided to describe Robbie from his point of view, he had a bit of help from his sisters too.

Robbie is a bit weird in some ways. He is very interested in clothes but he is really retro like he is stuck in the 80's. His favourite clothes are PJ bottoms, he calls them 'lounge wear' and he wears them all the time at home if he can get away with it. Mum makes him wear a T shirt with it because he is not allowed to eat meals without a top on, she says he is worse than Stan Ogden, but I don't know who he is (I expect he is dead, most people that she talks about are dead). Robbie also likes wearing the T shirts that he buys at gigs, but sometimes mum says "you can't go outside wearing that or you will get arrested" he tries to argue but he always has to change. There is a T shirt that he really wants but mum won't him buy it because she says it is blasphemous, that makes Robbie laugh, then we all laugh and mum gets cross. He likes big patterns and bright colours, you should see the shorts that he wears on the beach, they are very loud - just like Robbie really!

Sometimes I borrow Robbie's socks and that makes him really mad, and whatever pair I have nicked he always claims they were his best pair! He used to wear boxers but they bunched up and mum said it made him look like Gandhi (that is someone else who is dead, he used to wear a thing that looked like a big nappy). Now he wears trunks (Robbie not Gandhi) and he likes them better because they are more comfortable.

Emily says he has a sort of skater style and Laura calls him a 'geek with chic' but I think weird sums it up best. He has a thing about shoes too, he collects them, he loves Dr Marten's and he likes converse too, they have to be bright colours, in fact the stranger the better as far as he is concerned.

Robbie eats revolting things like black pudding and dripping, he dips bread in his gravy and sometimes he even eats ostrich burgers - disgusting! Sometimes Emily tells him off for keeping evil things in the fridge, she is a veggie so she gets a bit stressy sometimes.

In some ways Robbie is like me because we both like facts and details and we don't like people to mess up our routines. The person who is most like Robbie is our little sister, they look so alike and she is loud, noisy and totally mad too.

Plastic Pigs 11.01.07

Robbie managed to seriously annoy me tonight. It wasn't the usual combination of mild amusement and exasperation, I was seriously angry and ready to deck him. Robbie is a creature of habit and the trouble started this evening when his usual routine was disrupted. There was no conspiracy, it just worked out that way. First he wasn't able to put his briefcase in exactly the position that he usually does. Then Emily and I were preparing the evening meal together and Robbie had a king sized sulk, I would have been overjoyed if someone said I didn't have to cook but Robbie took it as a personal insult. He always makes a coffee, puts his 'lounge wear' on and then helps me in the kitchen, he couldn't cope with a change in his routine.

I am in the unenviable position of having two mother in law's, well almost, Robbie's mum is dead, but he has a step mum. Anyway my mother in law bought us an omelette maker for Christmas and Emily and I decided that it was time to try it out. Robbie announced that he hated omelettes and he hated salad too, he would just have chips. A different meal was cooked for him. He hovered around the kitchen banging stuff around, washing up things that I hadn't finished with, putting away things that I was still using and throwing away the ingredients for my omelette! Despite the adverse circumstances I managed to produce a meal for everyone with an alternative for him. All he had to do was to carry his meal to the table, but he failed to arrive. He was frying himself two eggs while the rest of his meal went cold, he could have done them earlier or asked me to do them for him. For me it was the last straw, I fantasised about creating a head sized dent in the frying pan, but I settled for a bit of 'fortune telling' instead. As we finished our meal he said 'those omelettes looked nice, I think I will try one next time'. I was speechless!!!

He did apologise later. They say that making up is the best part, but Robbie had his own unique ways of trying to get back into my good books. He sent me an email with his latest suggestions for dealing with overcrowding on the railways, I wasn't impressed! Then he asked if he could go out on Saturday because he wants to have one last ride on a Plastic Pig (train). I love him dearly, but just occasionally I wish he was a little more 'normal'. There is one thing to be thankful for - he's not twins!!