The title of this post has very little to do with the content, I came across it and I liked it so I used it. My son pointed out to me the other day that I am getting more Random. He claims that I go around assimilating all sorts of odd information, facts and quotations and then when I find an unsuspecting 'victim' I share all my all this information regardless of whether they are interested or not. I told him that he was describing Robbie not me, but he said that was his point, I am getting more like Robbie.
I thought about what he had said and I had to admit that I do have some random thoughts. The other day I found myself wondering why some of the things that my grandmother considered essential are hardly used at all today. People can't have changed that much in my lifetime so why is it that we no longer need such things as back scratchers, shoe horns and smelling salts? Could it be true, am I becoming as random as Robbie?
I told my son that he was completely wrong, I could never be like Robbie because I would never wear the same sort of clothes as him. My son has the unnerving ability to raise one eyebrow (I wish I could do that). He looked at me, raised his eyebrow and reminded me about the coat that Robbie bought for me which is similar to his Berghaus jacket. I told my son that his theory was rubbish but in my mind I had visions of Robbie and I becoming the next Howard and Hilda with matching anoraks! What a terrifying thought.
With that thought still niggling in my mind I turned to the internet for support. I found some research from America that suggested that couples do not grow more alike over the years. What they found was even more worrying, they suggested that people tend to settle down with people whose traits mirror their own. So couples don't grow alike over time, they are fairly similar to begin with. That can't be true, Robbie and I couldn't be more different. I dismissed the research, after all it was done in America and I have serious misgivings about the collective judgement of a country that elected George W twice! I told myself that the results would be different if the same research was carried out in England. I remembered a quotation about statistics from my school maths book 'Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for support than illumination'. The American researchers may have questioned 1300 couples but their conclusions didn't support my point of view; no doubt if I had looked hard enough I could have found more favourable research but why bother. Despite my son's dire warnings, Robbie and I are very different people and that is exactly how it is going to stay. Just in case those researchers are right, we will be the exception that proves the rule!!
Robbie has been frightening me in the middle of the night - it is OK you can read on it is nothing rude! Two weekends ago Robbie went off to play trains wearing his high visibility coat, he says it is very warm and comfortable (but when he wears it he reminds me of a Smurf). When he got back from his trip he asked me to wash his coat, so the next day I washed it following the label instructions to the letter. The coat had to be drip dried so I sprinted upstairs with it and hung it over the bath. That evening when I got back from work Robbie had hung the coat on the bathroom door and there it has stayed for a fortnight. I often have to visit the bathroom during the night, I plod along the landing in the dark close the bathroom door and jump out of my skin because there is a 'man' wearing a high visibility jacket behind the door! It reminds me of the rhyme 'When I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish he'd go away'. I wish Robbie would put his coat away!
I have upset Robbie so much that I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. He was speechless, he looked horrified and he had such a menacing look on his face that I thought he was ready to commit murder. My sin was to mend the kitchen drawer. You may think that was not such a serious crime, but I needed to apply weight to the draw to hold the front in place while the repair material hardened. Unfortunately Robbie's Track Atlas was just the right shape and size for the job and the repair worked perfectly. The book was unharmed in the mending of the drawer, but Robbie went mad, I am sure he would have been less upset if I had weighted it with a Bible!The next evening I decided to get my own back and I told him that I was very sorry but I had accidentally spilled tea on his book. His face was terrifying, he looked as if he had just walked out of a horror film. He came over and checked the book page by page and when he found that it was still in perfect condition he gave me a menacing look and told me that some things should never be joked about. He then retreated to his corner, clamped on his headphones and gave his computer his undivided attention. To make things even worse I let him down big style when I washed his high visibility jacket. I made the foolish assumption that a grown man of almost 40 would not put his coat in the washing pile without checking his pockets. I gave the pocket a cursory check and I couldn't feel anything in them, but apparently I washed a whole load of junk, the most valuable item was a (free) ballpoint pen, but apparently Robbie was saving the wooden coffee stirrer, used tissues and McDonalds wrappers for posterity, so he gave me a lecture about checking pockets. Apparently Robbie never makes those sort of mistakes, the evidence doesn't back up his statement, but Robbie is not big of evidence! He completely overlooked the fact that the coat is a pain to wash and I had followed the washing instructions to the letter including the need to allow it to drip dry. Oh well, maybe next time he wears it he will appreciate having a nice clean coat with empty pockets!
Robbie had been out playing trains, but I was expecting him back at around 5pm. The possibility of him getting lost didn't cross my mind because it was the inaugural outing of his high visibility coat, so he would have been impossible to lose. I phoned him at about 4pm and there was no reply, and he maintained telephone silence from then on. By 8pm I was seriously worried, but I still couldn't contact him, then at about 8.30pm he phoned sounding more than a little embarrassed. He had fallen asleep on the train on the way back from the south west, he missed his stop at Birmingham and ended up in the deep north! It could only happen to Robbie!
Sam proudly showed off the photo he had taken of a snowman he'd made. It looked good, the snowman had an interesting face and seemed to have it's own personality. There was just one problem, it was wearing my son's best coat! He only had it about a month ago and filling it with snow is not the ideal way to treat an expensive coat. Kids!!
Dave the cat went back to the vet on Monday morning. His ulcerated paw is much better and I was delighted to hear that the vet doesn't need to see him again unless it starts to get worse. I seem to have spent far too much time at the Vet's on the last few months. The relief was short lived, Meg the dog started vomiting soon after I got home, I wasn't too concerned at first, but she has was still poorly today, so it looks as if I will be seeing the vet much sooner than expected!
I am missing Sam so much. I had a very brief text from him today to say that it is too hot and he hasn't broken any bones yet! I'm not sure why he thinks it is too hot, but I suspect he just hates having to wear his ski jacket - he never wears coats and he never seems to fee the cold. On the subject of coats, Robbie told me a couple of days ago that someone at work had a red duffle coat, I hope it hasn't given him any ideas. Could you imagine Robbie in a red duffle coat? It would be Homer meets Paddington Bear!!
One of my jobs today involved sorting out Robbie's piles. Don't panic, I'm not talking about haemorrhoids! He deposits piles of magazines and assorted clutter all over the place. I found myself leafing though his railway magazines looking at the articles marking the end of Virgin Cross Country. The thing I am going to miss most is the uniform, I particularly liked the long coats the men wore in the winter, they looked really good. Robbie showed me some pictures of the interim Cross Country uniform, there is nothing especially wrong with it but it is so uninspiring. I hope they will eventually come up with something with a bit more personality. Silverlink also bit the dust a couple of weeks ago, those of you with long memories will remember that I once described their uniform reminiscent of the austerity and menace of the old Soviet Union. Our local station was run by Silverlink and it is now the responsibility of London Midland. As far as I can tell the only thing to have changed so far is the name badge, but we live in hope! I feel a bit sorry for London Midland because some of their employees have frighteningly lugubrious faces and however splendid their uniform they will still look like boarder guards!
Anyway on the subject of coats, Robbie has been on a shopping spree. He has almost as many coats as he has shoes, but he didn't have one that offered sufficient protection from the arctic winds at Northampton station. That was his excuse anyway. He arrived home proudly wearing his new wool coat and I must admit that he looked very smart. We had to pop to the supermarket when he got home, and as I watched him walking across the car park in his new coat I realised that he bore a striking resemblance Paddington Bear. All that was missing was the hat!
