It would be fair to say that Robbie and I could (and often do) argue about absolutely anything. The other day we had a fierce row about Fred Dibnah. Robbie has some very dubious interests but without doubt I find his fascination with Fred Dibnah the most difficult to deal with. Usually the mere mention of his name causes me to run for cover, and if Robbie threatens to watch his series on television I take myself off to do something more exciting like watching paint dry. This week it was so cold (and I had run out of paint!) so even the mention of dead Fred wasn't going to make me give up my seat in front of the fire. With gritted teeth I endured half an hour of excruciating boredom, I turned my back on the television and tried to focus on my computer, but it was impossible to ignore and before long by blood pressure was off the scale.
If they ever gave a lifetime achievement award for the most inarticulate man on television he would have beaten Bill and Ben by a mile. I didn't understand a word he said in the whole programme. The trail for the programme mentioned that in this episode he would be taking his steam engine to Sheffield. I was interested because it is a place that is very dear to my heart. I lived there for a while, I love the South Yorkshire accent and I thought it would be nice to see footage of Sheffield as I remember it. Sadly the whole episode seemed to consist of old men standing around in what looked like a pub communicating in monosyllabic grunts. Worse still I don't think there was a woman in the entire episode! We would not show old programmes that are racist so why would anyone think it was ok to show something that is so blatantly sexist? I think I will have to start a 'ban Fred' campaign, his dvds should be relegated to 'under the counter sales' in shops that are frequented by men in dirty raincoats with 'unnatural appetites'
The whole Fred argument led on to another heated exchange about the gender of vehicles. It really irritates me that men refer to cars, lorries, locomotives, steam rollers etc as 'she' when it is blatantly obvious that they are male! I have explained before that my car is definitely male because it is unreliable and expensive to maintain. I only know of one man who's car has a male name, my daughter's boyfriend has a car called Bruce. I was very impressed that he had chosen such an apt name, Bruce is very loud, hard to ignore, rather unconventional and prone to the occasional bad day (apologies to anyone called Bruce but that is what the name conjures up for me). Bruce is a red Citroen Saxo with lots of adaptations. It turns out that it was my daughter who named the car not her boyfriend, so maybe it is a case of like mother like daughter!
Robbie has a really annoying habit of asking my advice, nodding furiously when I offer my opinion and then doing as he likes. I don't (usually) expect him to do what I tell him, he would get a very direct answer if he tried to tell me what to do; but why ask me if he is going to do as he likes anyway?
Sometimes I rely on ancient wisdom and I keep on offering the same advice. According to Ovid "Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence." In the end it is his life and he has to live with his choices, so I don't push too hard, I just hope that he will 'wise up' eventually. I could't push him anyway, he is a stubborn little devil, he would refuse to budge and the effort would kill me.
This week has been a bit of a high point for me because Robbie has finally decided to act on a piece of advice that I have been giving him for quite a few years. I am not sure why now is the right time, perhaps he is just a slow learner or more likely it was a difficult thing to do, but I am pleased that he has finally decided to deal with that particular issue.
According to my mum, if you want a man to do something you need to sow the seed and nurture it so that it becomes his decision. It has taken five or six years for this particular seed to germinate but I hope Robbie will think that 'he' has made a very good decision.
