The whole universe is based on rhythms. Everything happens in circles, in spirals - John Hartford

The weekend had slipped past far too quickly, so when we sat down on Sunday evening I wanted to enjoy what was left of the evening. The demands of another week would be upon us all too soon. It is nice to just be together, we don't have to talk all the time - and even Robbie can be quiet sometimes! Unfortunately yesterday wasn't one of his quiet times. I was working on updating the blog layout, but every time I started to concentrate on it Robbie started to talk to me again. Not just normal conversation, it was mostly 'did you know' type questions and a rather too enthusiastic sharing of information from the newspaper.

I thought I had made it clear to Robbie that I was becoming exhausted by too much trivia, but it seems he hadn't got the message. He called my name yet again and asked if I knew that Sainsburys are changing the size of the cardboard tube inside their own brand toilet rolls. I asked him why he would expect me to know that, we don't even shop at Sainsburys! My lack of interest didn't seem to bother him; he went on to tell me the exact dimensions of the new style toilet roll. He seemed disappointed that I still wasn't interested, so he made a final bid for my attention by telling me that there was a circle printed in the paper that we could cut out. With the aid of the circle we could find out if the new style rolls would fit our toilet roll dispenser. He got upset when I told him very bluntly that we don't use that brand of loo roll, we don't even shop in that supermarket so I don't need to know! I know Robbie loves detail, but honestly, that is ridiculous, there isn't enough free space in my memory for all the things I need to remember, I certainly don't have room for nonsense like that. 

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers - Thomas Jefferson

There are many things that I love about Robbie, but his choice of newspaper is is not one of them. I detest the thing I resent the waste of paper and I resent the waste of money, I would rather he spent it on a railway magazine, even if he spent it on  Lego or any of his other many and varied obsessions it wouldn't seem so pointless. I have managed to change or modify many things about Robbie over the years, but he remains stubbornly attached to his limp lefty newspaper, so I do my best to ignore it.

Yesterday evening we settled down in the lounge, me with my laptop and Robbie across the room with his newspaper. I was lost in my own little world writing the blog when I glanced up to see Robbie holding his phone out to the cat, and more worrying still the cat was looking at it as if he was reading a text! I asked Robbie what he was doing and with a totally serious expression he said that he was showing the cat the time to prove that he had to wait another hour until feeding time. 

I shook my head in disbelief and settled back to writing the blog. A little later completely out of the blue Robbie asked "How much does mum pay for David's socks these days". It seemed such an odd question that I had to ask him to repeat it in case I hadn't heard him properly. I told Robbie that I have never given a passing thought to the price of my step father's socks - but thanks to Robbie I have now! Once he get's started on a subject there is no stopping him and I heard all about the advantages of loose top socks, a very good deal he had spotted; the price, the colour, it went on an on until I begged him to stop.

Finally he was quiet and I went back to what I was doing. Peace reigned for a little while, then Robbie's voice rang out asking "Have you noticed that you don't often see radishes in the supermarket these days?" I thought about it for a minute and decided to try my luck with a one word answer - no! It was worth a try, but it just encouraged him to provide more radish related information. I listened for a while but I really couldn't summon up much interest in radishes. I asked if he had ever eaten a radish and he informed me that he hadn't. I informed him that he hadn't missed much! I told him that if he was that interested I would buy him some radishes, but he quickly declined and told me that it just was something he had been reading about. 

So now yo know why I dislike that dratted newspaper, it puts ridiculous ideas in his head!

Man Stress

Robbie had promised that this weekend would be special after the disaster of last weekend. It started OK but by Saturday afternoon Robbie had a huge man stress. When I went to pick Sam up I stopped to buy myself a newspaper, I hardly ever buy a newspaper and earlier that day Robbie had told me that if I wanted one that I would have to buy it myself. It didn't cross my mind that Robbie would want a paper, it was past 6pm so if he'd wanted one he would have got one by then. When I got home he was furious, he didn't seem to understand that I don't work by telepathy! He got into such a stress that he decided that he was going to walk to the supermarket to buy a paper. I offered him a lift but he refused and insisted on walking, he said he didn't want a meal cooking for him. So I got on with cooking and the rest of us ate without Robbie. When he returned with his precious Guardian he was even more impossible and it took him all night to get over his man stress.

His recovery didn't last long we had a disagreement about the Looe Valley line and who changes the points when the train changes direction. He even rang a colleague to prove that he was right - he wasn't! He didn't say much but his lip jutted out the way it always does when he is in a strop. He decided to go out on Sunday afternoon and evening, I wasn't impressed. So much for having his undivided attention all weekend!

There was one bit of comedy value, during the weekend, when he got all dressed up to go to the supermarket in the rain he looked very much like Kenny from South Park, it made me want to laugh, I managed to keep a straigh face, but that vision will stay with me for quite a while!

Ladybird, Ladybird, Fly Away Home.......

Sunday was so hot that I couldn't cope with being in the sun for too long. Sam and I went out in the morning, Robbie had decided last night that he didn't want to come with us, he wasn't in a bad mood he just wanted a quiet morning with his Sunday paper. Sam wanted to go to the car boot to look for books on photography and he found four really good books for next to nothing. We made a quick detour to Tesco to get a few essentials for Robbie and then headed back to the beach.

Robbie and I took a walk along the beach, there were so many ladybirds that it was making Robbie cross. They seemed to be attracted to his bright yellow top (perhaps they thought he was a huge flower!) He was fairly OK about them until they tried to go up his shorts, he took that as a personal insult and after doing an interesting little jig he called the insects some very insulting names! I paddled in the sea, I didn't have the excuse of paddling with children but it was fun anyway, the sea was warm and calm. Robbie sat on the beach and watched, he doesn't paddle, he prefers to keep his feet dry, after all if he got too close to the sea he would risk getting his favourite shorts splashed. Usually I pretend that I'm not with him when he wears his 'extra loud' shorts, but they have their uses, I have no chance of losing him on a crowded beach – however hard I try!

Hatched Matched and Despatched 31.10.07

One of my grandmothers used have the local evening paper delivered and the first page that she would turn to was what she referred to as the 'hatched, matched and despatched'. She showed no interest in the 'hatched' and she only gave the 'matched' section a cursory glance, but she seemed to know a surprising number of the 'despatched'. I once asked her why she read it and with a weary smile she told ma that she had to check that she was still alive!

My other, more formidable grandmother expressed the opinion that it 'wasn't quite nice' to put all those fancy words in the newspaper - but it didn't stop her reading them when she thought nobody was looking! Her sister in law Aunt Ada was a family legend, she was a lovely lady, but every time we visited her she would ask if we knew some person or other, a negative reply didn't seem to matter and she would chatter on to tell us in considerable detail about some relative or neighbour of the person we didn't know who had died. Occasionally she would spring the element of surprise and the person was not dead but dying or they had to 'have everything taken away'. Looking back it is hardly surprising that death was never far from Aunt Ada's thoughts. Her husband had been killed in action in the First World War leaving her with three very young children. For her, loss had been a daily reality for most of her adult life.

This week, I found myself thinking that I must be getting old, I don't read the newspaper, but it seems that all too frequently the death of someone I consider important is announced. Only last week I was saddened to hear about the loss of Alan Coren a truly witty man who was one of the few people who could make me laugh out loud. You get some very odd looks when you are driving alone in the car and laughing so much that tears run down your cheeks! Yesterday another untimely death was announced, Professor Anthony Clare who was professor of clinical psychiatry at Trinity College Dublin and responsible for presenting two of the best programmes on Radio 4, In the Psychiatrist's Chair and All in the Mind.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the subject of today's entry was not influenced in any way by Robbie's 'man flu' Poor old Robbie, he really is struggling this week but hopefully it will not prove terminal!

Happy New Year

The end of the year always seems sad to me, but it is also a time to look forward to another year and perhaps to make some new resolutions. Robbie says that I have embarrassed him quite enough recently, so most of his resolutions will remain private. I don't usually make resolutions, but this year I intend to make a few changes. On a personal level I intend to end 2007 lighter than I am now - OK I know I have made the same promise to myself for at least 20 years, but this year will be the year that I actually act on my good intentions. Anyway, if all else fails, I could shed a stone instantly by de-cluttering my handbag!

On a family level I think we should try to reduce our global footprint. After all modest changes from everyone would combine to make a significant difference to our world. On the subject of footprints it would be nice if Robbie would make his footsteps lighter especially during the night. He is usually the last person to go to bed, but he thunders around like the honey monster. To be fair he adapted his night time routine ages ago to ensure that he made less noise in the bathroom - at least he doesn't wake people up now! It would make a big difference to me if I could get him to walk around the bed instead of climbing across it at night - getting trodden on doesn't improve the quality of my sleep.

We will make an effort to recycle more, to reuse more and to consume less. Robbie has reluctantly agreed that he doesn't need to buy that huge limp lefty newspaper everyday, he never reads it anyway and it makes the recycle bin incredibly heavy. I will cut back on magazines too and I will recycle old ones instead of hoarding them. We need to reduce our energy consumption too, fuel as well as gas and electricity. It is easier said than done but we will try. Of course Robbie is already doing his bit to save energy - by wandering around in his underwear most of the time he creates very little laundry. I am not sure the world is ready for such a drastic solution, surely one Homer Simpson is quite enough!