Take a deep breath and count to ten!

The title of this post sums up the the advice that I follow when Robbie is being irritating - a lot of deep breathing goes on in our house! This morning Robbie and I decided that the time has come to buy a new mattress and it is probably about time we had a new duvet and some new bedding as well. It will take a day or two to decide on the best mattress for us, but Robbie wanted to go and choose the duvet and the new bedding this afternoon. So when we had done all the routine jobs that couldn't be ignored, we set off to buy new bedding.

The first problem that we encountered was choosing the duvet. It wasn't as simple as just choosing a king size one, Robbie had to read and compare the information about each type of duvet. He decided on the 'bounce back' duvet - I wonder if that means that it will pick itself up off the floor and bounce back into place when it slips off the bed! 

Having chosen the duvet we then turned our attention to duvet covers and that was the way the trouble began. Robbie wanted designs with huge flowers all over them, but I don't 'do' flowers, I wanted a more simple design, stripes or a pattern but not flowers. Robbie moved from one hideous floral design to another and when his powers of persuasion failed he tried insults instead. Apparently I have no taste and I am stuck in the '80s - probably true on both counts, but all the insults in the world would not tempt me to buy a duvet cover covered in flowers.

Eventually he gave up on the flowers and decided that he wanted a duvet cover with embroidered butterflies - no way! More 'negotiations' followed and he gave up on the butterflies in favour of a duvet cover with pictures of buildings on it. Is it too much to ask to want a nice simple duvet cover that will not offend the eye? I used my veto on the buildings and directed his attention to a couple of other designs that I though he would like, they were not exactly my choice but if he liked them I could tolerated them. After in depth negotiations we settled on a design in the style of Cath Kidston, it was a bit fussy for my liking but at least it will not shout at me every time I walk into the bedroom.

I thought we were almost done but choosing a new bath mat proved almost as difficult as choosing a duvet cover!    

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan - Eleanor Roosevelt

One of the nice things about Robbie working for himself is that sometimes he can have a day off during the week. It makes up for all those early mornings and late nights. Usually when he has time off we try to enjoy the day together, but that wasn't possible today because this is a very busy week for me, so work had to come first. 

Robbie had an appointment at the Apple shop in Milton Keynes, to have his i-pad checked out, but he didn't fancy going there by train because it is a very long walk to the shopping centre. He decided to take this chance to try out the Stagecoach Gold (Enviro 400) bus service to Milton Keynes. He wasn't impressed with the design he said it was a bumpy journey and the seats creaked and rattled, but he liked the free Wi-Fi.

I didn't hear from Robbie for most of the morning then  I got a brief text to say that his i-pad problem had been resolved. A bit later I logged on to check my email account and then I had a quick look at facebook. Robbie had found his way to the Lego shop and he'd created 3 'unique' Lego figures, the evidence was posted on facebook for all to see. I was deeply troubled by his creations, the first one seemed to be a short legged version of Robbie, the second was a colour blind woman armed with a circular saw and the third was a man apparently wearing a hard hat and carrying an implausibly large banana. It left me wondering what goes on in Robbie's head and I remarked to the cat that he could probably keep a psychiatrist fully occupied for years! One of his friends commented that counselling is available, but another friend responded "I think counselling is a little late. Besides who would want to change Robbie? We need a few Robbies in the grey old world".   

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Red and Green Should Never be Seen

Setting up Robbie's new company has involved a lot of hard work but at last all the essential things have been dealt with and we can focus on some of the tasks that we had been putting off until we had time. One of those jobs was to choose a suitable office chair for Robbie, so one day last week I rang Verve Workspace for advice about the best choice of chair. They offer a wide range of chairs (as well as a diverse range of other quality office furniture) and they suggested that we should pop into their office so that Robbie could try some of the chairs. It sounds simple enough, but with Robbie nothing is simple!

When we got to their office Robbie was very impressed by the quirky design features. He hardly had a chance to react to the life sized sheep in the reception area, before he spotted an old red phone box set into the wall. Steve Allen, the owner of the company showed Robbie around. The phone box opened to reveal a walk in cupboard, then Steve showed him the kitchen, it has a map of London printed on the floor covering and it looks amazing. Robbie loved the boardroom which has a very bright  spacious feel, one wall is painted with a special paint so that you can write on it as if it is a white board. Everywhere he looked there was something else to admire, so it was very hard to get him to focus on chairs but eventually he tried out a selection of chairs and he chose one that would give him plenty of support for his back.

He was very happy with his choice and I thought that the hard part was over - but I was wrong, he still had to choose the colour and fabric for the chair. He was given a chart with colour and fabric samples, he had a whole rainbow of colours to choose from, but being Robbie he chose the loudest, brightest red. He had got that determined look in his eye, but this was one of those occasions rare occasions when I was even more determined that Robbie wasn't going to get his own way. I can't live with a red chair, it would be like a permanent party political broadcast! Tense negotiations followed and Robbie drove a hard bargain, when it was clear that my veto on the red chair would not we lifted he insisted having his chair in a bright 'leprechaun' green instead. Unfortunately they don't make covers for office chairs, but I think it will be covered in a dust sheet when not in use because I am not a fan of green.

So now we are awaiting delivery of the chair and a large 'industrial strength' bookcase to replace the one that has collapsed under the weight of the Burgess book collection. It will be lovely to have things looking more organised.

There is more information about the Verve Workspace Offices on their blog

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her - Marcelene Cox

I think it is a myth that women love to shop, I detest shopping and I do everything in my power to avoid it. Robbie loves to shop, if shopping was an Olympic sport  he would be a gold medalist! Pain permitting he will happily wander from shop to shop making a mental note of everything in stock. He is interested in absolutely everything, clothes, shoes, books, toiletries, gadgets, kitchen equipment, you name it Robbie knows about it! When he can't shop he reads about shopping, even about the changing dimensions of toilet rolls!


These days unfortunately pain and long working hours limits Robbie's enjoyment of shopping to some extent these days. I find myself I often find myself doing errands for him and woe betide me if I get the wrong item. Yesterday I went shopping for food, just day to day items mainly, but Robbie likes a particular brand of chicken and mushroom pie and I was going to get one of those for him too. They didn't have any in stock so I was brave (or foolish) enough to buy an alternative brand instead. It was a more expensive brand so I thought Robbie may be willing to try it. As soon as I told him about it he had that sulky look that he does so well. It was as if a big black cloud had settled over us. He said he was unhappy because the quality of the gravy was bound to be wrong and he would rather go without than have to put up with an alternative. Failed again! 


I failed last week too, I bought the usual brand of liquid soap, but I chose the green one with aloe vera rather than the usual option. Robbie gets very sore cracked hands and I thought the aloe vera may be good for his skin. He was not impressed, he complained plaintively about the 'smell' I think it is quite pleasant, but it doesn't float Robbie's boat. It looks as if we will have to have his and hers hand wash for a while until I work my way through the three bottles of aloe vera that I bought. Today he mentioned that he needs more hair stuff. I am dreading getting that because when they changed the packaging I bought a stash of the old design, but now he has to adjust to the new pack and I know that he will moan about it. I guess I will just have to throw a deaf ear, I am good at that, I get lots of practice. 

I am quietly confident that he will be pleased with one recent purchase. I have to do some odd things for Robbie at times but 'feeling' Lego men has to be closet to the top of the list. The minifigures come in individual sealed packs, there are 16 to collect but the only reliable way to find the one you want is to feel the pieces through the foil bag. I have become very good at finding them this way, but I have had some very dodgy looks. I must be mad, standing in the shop for ages 'molesting' Lego men, just to put a smile on Robbie's face! He only opens one figure each day and he still has a couple of unopened ones in his stash, but I am confident that they will complete his set of series 7 minifigures.

Dangling Legs and Other Problems

Saturday dawned far too early for my liking, but after a lot of moaning and groaning on my part we were on the road and heading for the station. We travelled First Class to Birmingham on a 350; I wasn't impressed because it felt cramped and it looked shabby, but at least it was quiet and we had an uneventful journey arriving in Birmingham slightly late.

I hadn't travelled on a refurbished HST before so I was looking forward to it. I'd been underwhelmed by the livery but I'd heard good things about the refurbishment and was keen to see it for myself. The first problem we encountered was the platforming, it was rubbish, the signage was wrong, leaving us sprinting down the platform to find first class. The platform staff were neither use than ornament - certainly not ornament!

The train looked OK except for the horrible colour of the upholstery and the hideous curtains that looked as if they had been cut down from an old woman's crimpelene dress. The antimacassars looked good, very simple and tasteful, which is more than I can say for the carpet which was too 'busy' and not dark enough, it already looked dirty and shabby. The seats are fairly comfortable if you happen to be a giant, but it is impossible to use the table comfortably because the distance between the seat and the table is to great. I am a bit on the short side but not abnormally short for an adult, so I was annoyed to find that my feet didn't reach the floor when I sat down. The seats were adjustable but unfortunately it required more height than I possessed as your rear end had to be in the seat and your feet in contact with the floor to achieve the required thrusting motion. This was the first of many clues that it had been designed by a man!

Clue number two came when I visited the toilets. They are 'cosy' but I guess there is adequate space for the average contortionist to cope with the 'essentials'. It wasn't the space that bothered me as much as the poor design, the unpleasant smell and the dirty state of the facilities. The toilet tissue does not dispense correctly, it comes out in handfuls, but then it will not flush away. The sink is too low even for someone as short as me! It is not possible to see how the soap dispenser works, so you have to put your hand into the gap and feel around for the soap. This triggers the automatic tap and rewards you with wet cuffs. Then when you have wet hands you have to battle with a towel dispenser that dispenses small soggy strips of tissue, so you have to reach in and grab a few towels. For some reason the towel dispenser is above the sink so while you are doing battle with it the water from your wet hands runs down your arms and drips off your elbows! The final insult was the bin, the gap is too small to put the used paper towels in without pushing your clean fingers into the bin. I returned to my seat with wet cuffs, damp sleeves and soggy elbows, thankful that I had hand sanitizer in my handbag because I had no intention of using that sink again.

It was the bumpiest journey I have ever experienced and I didn't feel safe, even Robbie said it was a bad journey. I wanted to get off but Robbie reassured me that it would be OK.

We lost time at Cheltenham. I thought we had slipped into a parallel universe. The train stopped and the dispatcher came wandering down the stairs looking as if he had escaped from a home for the bewildered and was about ready to be dispatched himself. When he had plodded down the platform and remembered what he was there for we departed several minutes late. There was a really cute dispatcher at Bristol so that was some compensation.

Robbie had to sprint off the train at Bristol because nobody delivered the urns to the train so there had been no hot drinks available between Manchester and Bristol. Apparently the previous week there were no hot drinks available all the way from Manchester to Newquay! There had been a mix up with the reservations too, they had labelled up for the wrong train meaning that a whole first carriage was rendered unusable as the seats were labelled up for people on a different route!

As I was gazing out of the train window my eye fell on the paper notice Headed Manchester Picadilly - Newquay, I wondered why it was necessary to list the starting point, after all even the most 'challenged' traveller knows where they are when they start their journey!

We were delayed from Dawlish onward by an HST in front that was busy going nowhere. Robbie was getting seriously irritated about his timing being messed up, but it was nice to crawl along and enjoy the wonderful views. I couldn't believe that there were so many cranks scattered along the line just to take photos of an HST - what a waste of a Saturday!

We arrived at Plymouth a few minutes late and I begged Robbie to let us travel home on a Voyager, but he wouldn't hear of it. My verdict on the journey, a thumbs down to the refurbished HST and a huge thumbs down to the catering trolley. However there were highlights, the staff were all friendly and helpful and the views from the sea wall at Dawlish were as wonderful as ever.

We spent the day in Plymouth, then we set out on our return journey to Birmingham. My legs were OK just dangling for a while, but then they began to ache and by Taunton they were swollen and painful, so I had to rest them on a rucksack. We saw a kettle at Taunton, Oliver Cromwell, it looked amazing

The ride back was every bit as bumpy, I would much rather travel on a Voyager or a Pendolino, but it was a nice day out. Robbie says I am mad, apparently I don't know a good thing when I see it, he still thinks HST's are wonderful. He says we have to do the journey again soon to check that some of the problems have been put right (he is determined to make me like HST's), but he has promised to take me on a Pendolino next, so I am looking forward to that.

Time For A Change 02.08.07

Robbie was not too impressed by being called Donald (as in where's your trousers) yesterday, so I am not going to write about him today - he deserves a rest!

I have been giving a lot of thought to work life balance recently as there are a number of changes taking place at work. At present I work a little less than full time hours and I still seem to spend my entire life chasing my tail. In fact I am thinking of naming our house 'Forth Bridge' because the housework and maintenance is always a work in progress! Sometimes I wonder if it is worth working so hard to give the children a decent quality of life when most of our free time is taken up with housework, ironing and fighting a losing battle in the garden.

This morning I walked into the kitchen and felt a howl of anguish welling up inside me. Yet again the 'washing up fairy' had missed us from our rounds and despite everything being washed up after our evening meal a precarious pile of crockery was sprouting from the bowl. Perhaps it was someone's idea of modern art in the style of Tracy Emin. Actually I think that Tracy Emin's 'Dark Bed' is rather eloquent, maybe the full washing up bowl speaks volumes too - about a lack of responsibility, or possibly it suggests that we have hungry intruders every night! No, I am not getting a dish washer, our global footprint needs to shrink, not grow!

It is surprising how we so quickly get used to difficulties within our own home and I am sure I am not the only person who has put up with an inconvenient kitchen for too many years - and on current finances it is likely for a few years longer as well! When I actually had a good look at the kitchen I realised that there are only two items in the right position and at the correct height for me to use easily, thankfully one of those is the kettle! The sink is also at the correct height for easy (and frequent) use, but everything else causes me to bend down, to reach above head height, to use steps or to reach around an obstacle. Clearly it must have been designed (or more likely thrown together) by a man. Perhaps I can't have a new kitchen at this stage but I am going to use my work skills to make some long overdue changes. I am going to risk assess it, create an action plan and reorganise all the storage to meet my needs. Robbie hates change, so I expect he will have quite a bit to say about it but there again he has a lot to say about almost everything. At present I even need to use the steps to alter the volume on my radio because it is perched on top of the fridge freezer! Even worse if I want to open or close a window I have to use steps and scramble onto the worktop - its madness! I am sure with a bit of planning and a lot of effort I can make my life much easier.

On a lighter note I got up yesterday to find that Sam's collection of small superhero figures had escaped from his bedroom and were arranged on top of the hall radiator in what I can only describe as startling poses. Wonder Woman appeared to be having her wicked way with Superman and a different version of Superman was in an extremely compromising position with another male superhero. I will spare you any more details but after briefly thinking that I must be a complete failure as a parent, I saw the funny side and had a bit of a laugh while making myself a nice cup of tea to recover from the shock!

You never know when some seemingly innocent remark will start Robbie off. The television was on and I expressed my irritation at a stupid advertisement that involved a man doing a somersault across the bathroom in order to fit a rim block to the loo. How ridiculous, when did a (straight) man ever interest himself in cleaning the loo and whoever has enough space at the side of their lavatory for a grown man to do a somersault!

My comment was enough to start Robbie off on the poor design of the toilets at work. Apparently they are lopsided with too much space on one side of the cubicle, too little on the other and the toilet roll holders are placed inconveniently causing problems for people who are not double jointed. The ergonomic analysis continued with a detailed analysis of the dodgy design of the Network Rail toilets. It was at this point that I experienced déjà vu and relived an interminable and unnecessarily detailed account of the management of controlled emission toilets on Voyagers - he even described the smell and the problems with the seals!

Robbie is full of surprises and suddenly the conversation veered away from design and function to position and posture when using the facilities. I will leave the rest to your imagination ...... as Richard says, too much information!!