It is time to admit that I am a failure, I know that because Robbie told me so loud and clear. I picked him up when I finished work yesterday evening so it was passed 9pm when we got home. The cats were not impressed, they are very good at telling the time (thanks to Robbie's efforts) and they knew that their dinner was late. The loudest complaints were coming from Shadow the guinea pig. I am not aware that Robbie has been actively teaching Shadow to tell the time, perhaps guinea pigs have an innate sense of time or perhaps she just loves to eat whatever the time.
Robbie and the cats disappeared into the kitchen; it was hard to work out if he was feeding them or trying to extend their vocabulary! A little later Robbie emerged from the kitchen holding a plastic bag with a few flecks of green in it. The clues were there, the expression, the hand on the hip, not to mention the expletives from the kitchen - he was not a happy chap. The plastic bag had once contained curly kale, but except for tiny traces of green it was now empty. He waved the bag at me and said "now what am I going to do?". It took me a moment to compose my features because there was something vaguely ridiculous about Robbie who is not noted for his love of 'greens' getting so upset about a deficiency in the curly kale department. Before I could say anything he said "what am I going to say to the guinea pig". I took a deep breath and said that we had other greens, carrots and apples as well as her dried food and hay, so it was unlikely that she would starve. Unbelievably he walked over to the guinea pig to show her the empty bag and to apologise on my behalf for running out of curly kale. I don't think she took too much notice, she was too busy tucking into an apple and her dried food.
As soon as I finished work today I dashed to the supermarket and we now have an ample supply of curly kale. After all I don't want the guinea pig to think that I'm a failure!
When we got back from holiday I had so much to write about that I forgot to mention the guard of honour that greeted us. When we first got into the house things were a bit chaotic and it wasn't until I sat down later on that I noticed that there was a line of Lego minifigures standing to attention on top of the unit in the lounge. I didn't think much of it until Robbie commented darkly that someone had been playing with his Lego figures. I thought that was unlikely, when I asked the possible culprits the reason for line up proved rather ordinary. I had asked them to tidy the lounge and they had collected up members of Robbie's mini gang from various places in the lounge and put them all together on the unit in the hope that Robbie would put them away upstairs. I know that Robbie is 'unique' but it feels back to front to have the children telling their step father to put his toys away!
Robbie was late home yesterday so I met him on my way back from work. He nearly burst with excitement when he went to put his bags in the back of the car and he saw that I had bought him a Lego minifigure bag from Toys R Us. His excitement was out of all proportion to the cost of the bag, he even took a photo of it and posted it on Facebook!
My mum once told me that when it comes to men what you see is what you get, trying to change them just leads to frustration and disappointment. Judge Judy expressed it rather more eloquently when she said "Don't try to teach a pig to sing because it wastes your time and it annoys the pig"
From the time we first met it was obvious that I was not going to be able to change Robbie significantly (I'm not even sure that I wanted to) so over time I have adapted to his many idiosyncrasies and his need to stick to routines and do things his way. It is only when his routines get changed that I notice his funny little ways and even then it sometimes takes someone else to point it out.
Yesterday Robbie had meetings in Milton Keynes so he didn't need set out at his usual time. We had talked about it and I was going to drop him off at the station after taking Sam to school and before dropping Emily off at work. He could fit into their schedule without us needing to make any adjustments - at least that was the plan. Robbie is not the only person in our family with odd little ways and rigid routines!
I had been pottering around upstairs enjoying the luxury of a little extra time and when I went downstairs I expected to see everyone dressed an almost ready to go. Sam and Emily sat next to each other on the sofa with their coats and bags, like anxious patients in a dentist's waiting room. Both had their eyes firmly fixed on Robbie who stood near the dining table not quite dressed and looking far from ready. His bag was open and the contents had been taken out and piled up around it. Robbie, who showed no sense of urgency was busy sharpening pencils! At first I said nothing but as time went on his lack of progress began to worry me, he was going to make us late.
Emily looked as if she was ready to explode and when he picked up a fourth pencil and began to sharpen it she asked if that was really the best use of his time at that moment. With clear irritation Robbie told her that he had to do it now because he didn't want to take the pencil sharpener with him. He always stuffs his bag with a load of junk, so I don't think a tiny little sharpener would make much difference. We went out and waited for him in the car and eventually he emerged dressed and ready to go. Clearly it is very important to have plenty of lead in your pencil when visiting Milton Keynes!
