Thursday was my son's parents evening, an event that neither of us were looking forward to very much. I was just anxious about getting to each appointment on time but he was anxious about what they would say about him and even more anxious about what I might say. As we drove towards the school he began his lecture, I must not say anything embarrassing, I must not make comments about the teachers and I must not under any circumstances talk to any of his friends or their parents. I have never set out to be an embarrassment to my children, but it seems that it comes naturally!
As we got out of the car he cast a critical eye over my choice of clothing and suggested that I should leave my coat in the car! I assured him that there was nothing wrong with my coat and I suggested that he should pay more attention to his own clothes. We signed in and I noticed fascinated that the 'merekat effect' is still in evidence. As one of only a handful of boys at a girl's school it is not surprising that he turns heads. What is more surprising is that he seems completely oblivious of the rows of heads popping up following him with their eyes as he passes.
We sat in the library looking around and waiting for our turn to speak to his psychology teacher. The room was busy with teachers sitting at tables around the edge of the room, with chairs in the centre of the room for the people waiting for their turn to talk to a teacher. Most of the teachers were busy talking to parents and students, but one or two were sitting there all alone. I quietly asked my son who was the 'billy no mates' sitting opposite us looking miserable. I received a glare in reply and an instruction to stop being embarrassing. I couldn't resist teasing him just a bit, it's fun being an embarrassment to your offspring. I pointed out that judging by his glasses, the chap in question seemed to have been taking fashion advice from Brains on Thunderbirds. My son tried hard to keep a straight face, but failed miserably, then with a sly grin he announced that 'Billy no mates' really was called Bill. Then it was time for us to see the teacher and his smile vanished again.
I think it came as a surprise to my son that each of his subject teachers were very pleased with his progress and they had lots of good things to say about him. I was impressed with the change I could see in my son, he has always been bright, but this school has nurtured him as an individual and given him confidence to be himself rather than just being one of many. He was very lucky to get into this school, I know some people thought I was mad to let him change schools for the sixth form, but it was the best decision we ever made.
Well, Friday was another one of those days when I couldn't do right for doing wrong. Walking on eggshells is an essential parenting skill, but as the children become older it becomes increasingly challenging.
Poor old Emily is still crushed by grief following the death of her friend Charles. I don't think I have ever felt so useless, anything I say or do just makes it worse. He was such a lovely young man; life can be so cruel sometimes.
Samuel went to school in tears on Friday morning because I have apparently embarrassed him. Nothing unusual there, I am apparently a constant embarrassment to my children! My particular sin this morning was to send a note to his teacher, Sam hates anything that draws attention to him. He can be engaging, funny and thought provoking, but the reality of living with autistic spectrum disorder is often scary for him and very difficult for those around him.
We went to school with Laura to discuss her A Level options on Thursday evening. She was given a formal offer for the subjects she wanted, Maths, Chemistry, Physics and Geography and I thought it was a very successful meeting. I felt that Robbie and I had dressed appropriately, behaved properly and not said or done anything that could have embarrassed her in any way. Laura disagreed!
We saw her class tutor who I rather like. The poor chap has the misfortune of looking at least 15 years older than his true age - not good when you are in your mid 20's. To make matters worse he looks incredibly like a jelly baby which makes it very difficult to have a serious conversation with him. Apart from telling him that Laura's art teacher was useless, I behaved perfectly. I could have said that her behaviour suggested that she was an alcoholic, but 'useless' seemed to sum up the situation succinctly.
We then went to see a senior teacher about Laura's sixth form options. I didn't comment on the fact that he was more camp than Graham Norton or that he had a larger ego than Jeremy Paxman. When he said that General Studies was a very useful subject, I didn't tell him that he was talking out of his rear end. I smiled sweetly and pointed out that it cannot be counted for University entry and Laura's general knowledge is extremely good, in fact it is a little too good for my liking at times!
Robbie is also giving cause for concern. He will shoot me for putting this on the blog, but he is really struggling with his back and he is desperately trying to pretend everything is OK. If he tries hard enough he may even convince himself!! He is going back to the doctors, even if I drag him there kicking and screaming!
We were gutted last night when the news of the rail crash involving a virgin train came up on his pager - yes, he found the pager! Robbie couldn't settle and kept up with the news until late into the night. I feel very sad for the people involved and their families, especially for the family of the lady who died. It is hard to imagine the horror of the crash when as a family we are still coming to terms with the enormity of the death of Emily's friend Charles. The news reports made me so cross when they said that an elderly woman had 'lost her life', people lose keys or money, they don't lose their lives, they die. Death is not a deliberate or careless act, it is one of the few certainties of life but it is impossibly hard to bear when it happens a 17 year old or as a result of a horrific crash. Richard Branson seems to have reacted quickly and appropriately. I know he has his critics, but he sounded shocked and sincere unlike the head of Network Rail - weasel words from a chap who looks like a ferret.
