Only a Man Would ......................

I drove home yesterday evening, swung round and reversed my car onto the drive; a manoeuvre that I have done so often that I could almost do it in my sleep. I was surprised to find that I was at least a foot away from the hedge, someone had widened the drive while I was out! I looked again, Robbie had cut the hedge (at long last) and it made the drive so much wider. It was a relief to get the hedge cut but if he thought that would get him out of the doghouse he was sadly mistaken. Even if he had cut every hedge in the county it would not have been enough, I am absolutely furious with him. He didn't tell me that he was disappearing for almost a week because he knew I wouldn't be happy about it. Only a man would think it was better to let me find out by accident at the last minute, and only Robbie would think that doing a job that he should have done weeks ago was an acceptable apology!

When I say he has cut the hedge, he has cut the side next to the drive and he has cut the top of the hedge on drive side, but the other side of the hedge is in serious need of attention and the way he has cut the top has left it looking very odd, as if it has a Mohican hair style! He could have finished cutting it at the weekend if he'd been at home, but by the time he gets around to it, the top will be so high that it will probably require a scaffolding platform to reach it!

Oh well, he has gone now and I will only see him once between now and Sunday night, that should give me plenty of time to get rid of all his railway magazines and stash all his model trains in the loft. I have a few other things in mind too ...................... but he will have to wait and see!

Sock Thieves

He did it again! What is wrong with that man? At about 1.45am I was sound asleep when Robbie came to bed. For some reason he found it essential to stand over me and prod me to ask if I was asleep. Then the light went on and he spent the next ten minutes looking for his socks, muttering darkly the whole time about sock thieves. He's deluded, who would want his socks! I got increasingly annoyed and he became increasingly irritating. Still proclaiming his conspiracy theory, he turned the main light off, climbed over the bed and switched on his side light in order to rummage in his sock drawer. His light was intolerable, it is like a searchlight and I was furious that yet again he thought it was OK to wake me up and subject me to this sort of torture. Finally he was reunited with his socks, but he refused to turn the light off, he made a big deal about setting the alarm on his phone before very grudgingly settling down and putting out the light. By this time I was furious and ready to harm him, yet again he managed to fall asleep within minutes, leaving me wide awake and unable to sleep. Please, for the sake of my sanity make him understand that waking me up in the middle of the night could be dangerous to his health!

Living Dangerously

Robbie can be so annoying sometimes. On Saturday night he came to bed late, woke me up, let all the cold air under the duvet and then stole the duvet. I stole it back and threatened him with dire consequences if he did it again! On Sunday night he came to bed at 1.30pm, he woke me up because he made so much noise, then he sat down so heavily on the bed that I almost bounced out on to the floor. Then he deliberately flapped the duvet to let the cold air in and when he got in bed he tugged the duvet away and rolled himself up in it. By this time I was wild and ready to beat him to a pulp, for some reason he found it hilarious and he lay there prodding me and giggling like Mutley from Wacky Races. By then I was wide awake and too furious to sleep, my chances of sleep were further diminished because he continued to be annoying even when he fell asleep, he was making noises like a whale blowing throw it's blow hole. I think I showed incredible restraint, but if it happens again he will be sleeping in the garage.

Heading for Ireland 21.03.07

Robbie has gone to Ireland and he has managed to leave me absolutely furious with him. Last night I went to bed shortly before midnight, it was cold an it took me a while to get to sleep. When I finally did fall asleep he woke me up twice, first to tell me he couldn't find his passport and then when he got into bed he kept flapping the covers around and I was freezing again! This morning he had to leave before 5am but believe it or not he woke me twice. Once when he sat so heavily on the bed to put his socks on that I was practically bounced out of the bed. Then just as I had drifted back to sleep, he woke me again because he had lost his memory stick! Amazingly he left the house unharmed - but a little wiser!!