“I never travel without my diary. One should always have somethingsensational to read in the train.” - Oscar Wilde

Thursday 15th August

I didn't want to get up when the alarm went off, but if we were going to get the best out of the day we needed to get up and get going. Despite initial reluctance Robbie was out of bed and into the kitchen while I still clung to the duvet.

We were on the road before 9.30am and by 10.00am we were pulling into the station car park at Holt. For the third time this holiday we were at the North Norfolk Railway, sitting on the first train of the day with a cup of tea (coffee for Robbie) waiting to depart. What could possibly be better than this? I love the feeling of anticipation with the whole day stretching ahead of us. I don't mind if I travel on a coach or compartment that I've travelled on before, I don't mind which engine is out, and (unlike Robbie) I don't even care if we depart late, I just love the whole experience. 

The railway was very busy today and we had more than our fair share of badly behaved brats travelling on the trains. As a parent and step parent I know that coping with children can be challenging but it is up to the parent to set limits and to say 'no' and mean it when necessary. Why on earth do they think that it's acceptable for their 'little angels' to stand on seats, to yell at the top of their voices throughout the journey and to behave in a way that spoils the experience for everyone else. One little horror who rejoiced in the name Caspian had a father who was so pathetic that I wanted to shake him and tell him to man up and control his child. Who calls a child Caspian for heaven sake,  with a name like that its hardly surprising that the boy has issues. 

We spent the earlier part of the day dodging badly behaved children, but it didn't stop us enjoying the railway. There is something about Weybourne in particular that makes you feel calm and relaxed and the Ladies toilet is so wonderful that you can't help smiling. The black five and the 5619 were out today, they are both interesting, 5619 was making a strange blowing noise again today, we heard it making the same noise last Wednesday but it sounded fine on Sunday so I don't know what is wrong with it. 

I must admit that I tend to prefer diesels rather than steam so I always look forward to the last two round trips from Sheringham. Today we had a Class 101, Robbie likes it, but it is not among my favourites. To me it feels like being on a bus and I'm not into buses in the way that Robbie is. We sat at the front in the seats behind the driver and I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. The view through the front windows enables you to see things which you would usually miss, so we took lots of photos. When we were departing Holt we saw deer running across the field and Robbie even managed to get a photo.

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could - Orson Wells

Photo by Venteco

I came across the quote above (in the title) recently and I liked it very much because it makes me think of Robbie. It seems to sum him up perfectly, there is a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and you can never be sure that he will not misbehave. Unfortunately it is also true of his legs, even when he seems to be walking well you can never be completely sure that they will not misbehave. Sometimes they stop him in his tracks refusing to move at all, sometime one leg just gives way leaving him in a heap on the floor, but more often than not they just hurt really badly and walking or even just sitting still becomes an endurance test. 
Most people will know that Robbie hates what he refers to as 'green trains' with a passion. They are used by London Midland on his route to work and they simply don't offer him enough leg room to sit for an hour (to or from Birmingham) without unbearable pain. He goes to a lot of trouble to plan his journeys so that he avoids them. He gets up stupidly early every morning just to catch a 'blue train' to work and have a less painful journey. When he can't avoid the 'green trains' he has to break his journey at Coventry and wait for a train with more leg room. It takes such a lot of effort just to make a simple journey and it makes him very tired because he has a very long day, so it is not surprising that I worry about him. I have to be very careful what I say because he hates to make a fuss about his pain or to admit that he struggles sometimes. He will be cross with me for mentioning it, but my greatest fear is of him falling down the side of a train. He says it is just an irrational fear and I am being silly, but it has happened to him before and if it happened again I know he could get badly hurt. 


Yesterday when I got home from work I was very concerned because it was clear that he was in considerable pain. He wasn't exactly walking like John Wayne, more like John Wayne's grandad and every movement seemed to be agony for him. I did my best to help, but the frustrating thing is that there is so little I can do except to nag him to take his tablets. I try my best to tell him to be careful, but he still does as he likes. I admire him for that, he hates to give in, but I am so relieved that he had the sense to work from home today. 

We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

I rarely mention my work when I write the blog, but today I am going to break my own rules because this trivial incident made someone feel so good and all it took was a little effort. A lady came up to me to ask a question, I could see that she had difficulty in walking and when she asked her question her speech was hard to understand. I guessed that she may have cerebral palsy. I latched on to the couple of words that I understood and repeated them asking if that is what she was looking for. I was rewarded with a huge smile as she realised that I'd understood her without making her repeat the question. I told her that I would show her what she was looking for and I walked with her at her pace to the correct place. Her friend came up to us and the lady almost danced with excitement as she told her that I had understood the first time she spoke.   It was such a small thing and it cost me nothing, but it made a big difference to her - and it made me feel pretty good too.


In my family there are several people with disabilities. I don't think it really gives me any special insight, but the one thing that they all have in common is that they want to be able to do the things that other people do and they want to focus on their ability rather than being defined by their disability. I don't really understand why other people seem to find that so difficult to understand that. My son has a disability (autistic spectrum disorder) which would not be obvious to someone who only met him briefly. Ordinary things like shopping have brought extra challenges for him - and me! There have been a few occasions when people who should have known better have treated him very badly and made things more difficult for him. Usually this could have been avoided completely if people were a little more accepting of difference and less critical of behaviour that they do not understand. My son is amazing and I am really proud of the way he copes with life, but it has taken him a long time to admit to his disability and to accept help when he needs it.


Robbie also has a largely hidden disability, he has spina bifida and it causes more or less constant pain and difficulty in walking. He wants to be seen as just a normal person like everyone else, but he has had to admit that sometimes he needs extra help with certain things. OK, I know that Robbie is a little more unique than most, and the word normal really doesn't suit him, but you know what I mean. Little adjustments like having additional leg room makes travelling much less painful for him. I don't need to list everything, but a lot of small adjustments add up to a big difference to someone's ability to cope with a disability. So when you see a young and apparently able bodied person sitting in a seat offering extra leg room, or using other facilities provided for people with disabilities don't be too quick to judge, their disability may not be obvious. 



We awaken in others the same attitude of mind that we hold towards them.

Heading Home 27.08.07

Saturday dawned bright and sunny and better than it had been for the whole fortnight. By 10.30am the car was packed and the bungalow was clean and shining and we could relax and enjoy the sun. My mum and step father arrived at about 11am, they will be staying at the bungalow for the next couple of weeks so I am pleased they are starting their holiday with good weather. We spent a bit of time with mum and David and enjoyed a walk on the beach before reluctantly heading back to the real world.

This photo was taken from the same spot as Wednesday's video clip - what a difference!

I think Robbie has been stung by my previous criticism of his navigation skills because he was very careful to give helpful directions. I knew more or less where I was going so it wasn't strictly necessary, but it was helpful. Some of the Norfolk place names are interesting, Smallburgh always makes me think of Superman, Little Snoring always makes me smile - I wonder how it got that name, but my personal favourite is Cat's Common. We made good time and we were home in three hours. It was lovely to see the girls again, but as I opened the post and adjusted to life in the real world I could feel the relaxed holiday 'me' being swallowed up by everyday routine. Never mind, it was a good holiday and I have lots of new plans to get on with, and for the next couple of weeks I will be 'baby-sitting' for two tortoises and three cats! The tortoises were my brother's pets when he was a child and my mum is still looking after them thirty years later. I have looked after themevery year but I can guarantee that my mum will have left detailed instructions about how to cut their salad stuff up etc, they couldn't be better fed if they lived at The Ritz!

Being home is not all bad, I have really missed the internet and it is wonderful to have access to a washing machine and tumble dryer again.

John Doe 20.07.07

Robbie and I were talking about rail journeys last night. We were discussing a person who has a ticket from Waterloo to Southampton but actually wanted to get off at Eastleigh. Robbie eventually announced what I had already worked out - that not all trains to Eastleigh went to Southampton. After thinking out loud for a further few minutes he said she could catch any train to Eastleigh because in theory she could change for Southampton. I asked if he was sure that it was a permitted route, but he fell about laughing and said I was turning into Barry Doe. At first I couldn't think who he was talking about so I told him that I only knew of John Doe and Jane Doe. Then I realised that Robbie was referring to the old man who writes the boring bits (that I don't usually read) in Rail. Actually I'm not being fair, what he writes is interesting in a narrow sort of way but it makes my brain hurt - and Robbie already does that, so I don't need any extra pain! Anyway, back to Robbie, he was being unusually dense and he had no idea who John Doe was, even when I told him that I must have learned about him by watching too much Quincey he still didn't know it was the term for an unidentified American corpse.