Mad Dogs and Killer Squirrels! 23.07.07

We had some unexpected entertainment on the way home from visiting my mum . The saga of the killer squirrel's ...yes you I did say killer squirrels! We were driving along spotting wild rabbits (of the suicidal variety - but that is another story) when Laura announced that she was afraid to go to the park because the squirrels are dangerous. I found this odd as we have a beautiful park and the squirrels are very tame, in fact when the children were younger they loved to go to the park to feed the pigeons and the squirrels. Apparently Laura watched a programme on the television about killer squirrel's that could attack your jugular vein and strike you dead! She was quite serious and I tried to explain that they were more likely to make a dash for freedom than to leap for the jugular vein but she was not easily convinced. She pointed out that their jaws are designed to bite through acorns, fair enough but humans are somewhat larger and taller than an acorn. Did she seriously believe that baby squirrels are taught human anatomy so that they can instantly aim for the jugular? She was so funny and so determined that we were helpless with laughter. I pointed out that the swans and geese on the park lake could be much more dangerous, but once again she refused to believe me. After all why believe mum when satellite TV is far more sensational, whatever happened to those days when they were little and they thought mum knew everything!If the squirrels were not funny enough, Laura then started harping on about the huge 'rabid' dog she saw when she and her friends went to London last week on a day trip. According to Laura it's eyes were as big as snooker balls and it was foaming at the mouth! It was apparently as big as a pony and black and white in colour. It seems unlikely that she met a cow on Westminster Bridge so we must assume a certain amount of exaggeration. Obviously Laura has a very active imagination and this coupled with the East Endish sort of accent that she adopts when telling us about rabid dogs, killer squirrels and the like makes her very funny. Oddly this is not the daughter who is obsessed with Harry Potter and the wizardry of Hogwarts, no, this is the daughter who is about to embark on A Level Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Geography - I always thought science required fair tests, evidence and proof!!

This Way to Plymouth, or Maybe That Way! 28.01.07

Robbie watched one of his DVD's this morning, about the southern holiday routes. He sat there on the bed like the Buddha, competing with the narrator, trying to squeeze in even more exciting little snippets of information about the routes and the stations. I now know all about the peculiarities of Exeter St Davids. Trains to Plymouth could enter and leave the station in opposite directions on either the Southern or Great Western line, that must have caused no end of confusion.

I finally coaxed him out of bed and after a bit of dithering he headed off to town to for the last little bits for Emily's birthday. I wrote him a list of what was needed including 4 sheets of gift wrap and he bought 4 pieces of wrapping paper, nothing more or less. I forgot that train planners have no imagination, when he got home he presented me with 4 sheets of the SAME paper and 2 identical gift tags! He got very upset when I refused to wrap everything up in the same paper because it would be boring. He asked how he was supposed to know if I didn't write down exactly what I wanted! I give up!!