If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older -Tom Stoppard

I'm struggling to get to grips with the whole business of Christmas shopping this year. It seems that time has gone on fast forward since our holiday in Norfolk August and suddenly it's mid November. I have managed to do a little bit of Christmas Shopping because we went to see my brother in law and his family in Plymouth at the end of October and I took the opportunity to deliver the presents for my niece and nephew. I love going to see them, but we don't manage to get there as often as I would like, it's a long way to drive for a weekend and it's expensive to travel by train. We planned this trip to fit into Robbie's schedule, he is very busy with work at the moment and most weekends seem to be booked up in advance with an assortment of commitments. Robbie was very kind to me, he booked our tickets and reserved our seats making sure that we were booked to travel on a Voyager rather than an HST for both journeys. I can see the attraction of HSTs but in terms of comfort I prefer Voyagers because I'm not very tall and I find the seats more comfortable. I know the vestibules are a bit smelly but we usually get a good journey on a voyager and recent experience with Cross Country suggest that we get better service on a Voyager than on an HST. 

My favourite part of the journey is stretch Just south Exeter which follows the River Exe to Starcross and onward to Dawlish Warren and the sea. It then skirts the coast to Dawlish and on towards Teignmouth where it turns inland again and snakes along the edge of the River Teign towards Newton Abbott. It's a beautiful route and I always stop what I'm doing to look out of the window and soak up the view. In the winter it can be a bit alarming when the waves pelt the train along the sea wall at Dawlish. This area of track was badly damaged in the storms last winter, it is in use again now but there must be a question about it's long term viability.

My favourite part of the visit to Plymouth, apart from the obvious pleasure of spending time with family, was our Sunday morning walk to the Barbican. What could possibly be better than breakfast at Cap'n Jaspers on a sunny autumn morning. No trip to Plymouth is complete without a visit to Cap'n Jaspers. 

Early morning in Plymouth

My son came home from uni for a few days last week, it was nice to have him back but I didn't see much of him because he had things to do and he wanted to catch up with his friends. I took on my old familiar role of his 'taxi' driver - I had forgotten how many extra journeys one nineteen year old could create! When I picked him up from his friends house on the other side of town he was chatting to me about his friend's odd perception of age. Apparently they had been discussing a local news story and his friend described a 38 year old man as elderly. I was briefly reassured when Will told me that he'd explained to his friend that thirty eight is not elderly, but then he went on to say that it is probably more accurate to describe it as late middle age!! I wondered out loud how on earth someone so bright could have such an odd perception of reality! He looked at me with a grin on his face and informed me that as he's nearly 20 he is due for his 'quarter life crisis' so that he can get some practice in before his mid life crisis. I love his sense of humour, but he makes me feel very old.

Last Monday I drove Will back to Cheltenham. There are two possible routes but I prefer the one through the Cotswolds, it takes about the same amount of time as the other route but it is a much more interesting drive with beautiful views of the countryside. Will disapproves of my iTunes playlist, he is not a fan of Woman's Hour and I can't tolerate the overspill noise from his headphones so we had to resort to that quaint old fashioned pastime - conversation. Chatting with Will is fraught with difficulty, if I seem too interested he claims that I'm interrogating him, if I say too little I'm variously accused of disinterest or disapproval. So I take my lead from him, sometimes he is very chatty, but often when we travel together he is less talkative and we lapse into comfortable silence. It was like that on Monday, he had chatted happily about his university course for the first few minutes of our journey but by the time we reached Banbury we were both lost in our own thoughts. 

As we drove through the town I pointed out a rather ornate monument ahead of us and said "I wonder if that is Banbury Cross?". Will looked at me as if I was speaking in a foreign language and I explained that I was referring to the nursery rhyme Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross. To my surprise he told me that he had never heard the rhyme before and I couldn't convince him otherwise. It seems that I neglected  my duty as a parent to pass on the rich assortment of nursery rhymes which have been passed down the generations, so rather belatedly I recited the nursery rhyme to him. With a look of horror he begged me to stop, he knows me too well and  he was afraid that if I got started I would progress from nursery rhymes to poems and we would still be ploughing through the Pied Piper of Hamelin when we reached Cheltenham. My maternal grandmother could recite the entire poem from memory and thanks to her frequent renditions I can still manage to recite most of the poem without prompting. Will hastily changed the subject to the more pressing matter of lunch and we decided to treat ourselves to lunch at Wetherspoons when we got to Chetenham.

After lunch Will took me to see his flat, I hadn't been inside since the day he moved in. To my surprise his room and his adjoining bathroom are neat and tidy. I sat on his bed I glanced around at the unaccustomed sense of order and I noticed a row of bottles of alcohol arranged in height order along the top of his bookcase. As my eye travelled along the line of bottles I noticed with some concern that all were less than half full, then I noticed the smallest bottle at the end of the row, it was Gaviscon! I couldn't help laughing. 

Will and I walked into the centre of Cheltenham to have a look at the Shops. He showed me his favourite book shop and we had a look at a slightly quirky clothes shop. He pointed out various garments on his wish list, but having already bought him a lava lamp I didn't grant any further wishes that day. His birthday and Christmas are almost upon us so I expect some of his wishes will come true in the near future. We visited Tiger, one of my favourite shops, we don't have one locally so I enjoyed browsing and by the time I reached the tills I had a full basket and I had ticked off a few more items on my Christmas shopping list. Then it was time for me to head home, alone with my thoughts and leave Will to his new found independence.

A cats got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it --Jerome K. Jerome

If there was such a thing as a Krypton Factor for cats Dave would be a champion. A few nights ago there was a commotion in the kitchen at around 2am but thankfully it was not burglars, it was Dave attacking the cat proof food recycling bin. I put the bin safely out of his way and trudged back to bed. The next morning I came down to find an open food recycling bin and an work of abstract art made from tea bags and crusts set out on the kitchen floor. Dave gave me a penetrating look and I was left in no doubt that he disapproves of cat proof containers. He doesn't eat tea bags and he's not fond of crusts, he was just proving that as far as he is concerned nothing is cat proof. Cats are such wonderful communicators, it only requires a look or an almost imperceptible flick of the tail for Dave to convey absolute contempt. 

As I picked up the debris and then cleaned the kitchen floor I realised how much of my time is taken up attending to the needs of an assortment of animals. We only have three cats, but my mum and stepfather are both frail so I help them with their animals too. Their elderly cat Jessica is beautiful, but she's as wild and unpredictable a tiger and it takes nerves of steel (and protective clothing) to get her into the cat basket when she needs to go to the vet. Shopping for the cat takes far longer than anyone would believe possible because because mum has to examine every flavour and brand of cat food to decide whether Jessica would like it. Then after lots of deliberation she buys the same combination of brands that she always buys!

Lucy is my favourite of mum's three dogs, when she came from Wood Green Animal Shelter she was pathetically thin and afraid of her own shadow, but now she is healthy and happy. One of her parents was a Shih Tzu and the other a Border Collie - an improbable liaison which probably involved a step ladder! She combines the intelligence and behaviour of a (rather neurotic) Border Collie with the build and colouring of a Shih Tzu and despite her difficult past she has a lovely friendly nature. She seems to be especially attached to me, she follows me like a shadow, sits next to me whenever I sit down and when I stop stroking her she nudges my arm with her nose to get my attention - which often results in spilt tea and a disgraced dog! 

Bobby and Misty the other two Shih Tzus are a little younger than Lucy, and completely bonkers. They are brother and sister but Bobby is twice the size of Misty, he is gentle and friendly but Misty is a little spitfire and what she lacks in height she makes up for in attitude. Taking them to the groomers is a nightmare, it's like having chimps in the car, Bobby cries because he has left my mum behind and Misty spends the entire journey telling other road users to go away! She also objects to the car radio, if I turn it on she barks frantically and searches for the people hiding in the car. Needless to say, I prefer not to take them out in the car more often than absolutely necessary! 

Shopping for their food is a nightmare, Bobby is a solid little chap and despite being reassured by the vet that he is the correct weight for his size my mum worries that he doesn't eat. Getting him to eat seems to have become an obsession for my mum, so we loiter endlessly in the dog food section looking for new possibilities to tempt him to eat. Lucy eats reasonably well (as long as no one looks at her) and she is the easiest of the three dogs to shop for. It probably only takes about 15 minutes for my mum to consider every option and then decide to buy her regular brand of dog food! 

The other member of the household is Fred the tortoise who has been part of the family since my childhood. He is probably the most pampered tortoise in the county and there are times when I envy his lifestyle! In October he retires to his winter quarters and sleeps until the spring when the days become warmer again. His summer quarters, an open fronted hutch in a large pen has to be moved around the lawn so that he can enjoy fresh grass and plenty of dandelions (his favourite). Throughout the spring and summer he munches his way through a monumental amount of salad and such like. Mum insists on having a bird net over the pen to stop them from stealing his food and every time it rains my mum covers his run with a tarpaulin so that he will not get wet, then when the sun comes out she adjusts the tarpaulin so that he has plenty of shade. So as you can see one small tortoise manages to dominate the daily routine of the household!

A couple of years ago we made the mistake of buying a multi hanger bird feeder for my stepfather so that he could enjoy watching the birds through the window. It was a success, in fact it was too successful, feeding the birds seems to dominate their lives! They get through unbelievable quantities of seed, sunflower seeds, fat balls and assorted pellets and every couple of weeks I'm dispatched to the pet superstore to buy a trolley load of supplies for the birds! Judging by the amount of food they eat it is a wonder that any of the local birds can still fly! 

I wouldn't be without my pets, but they are not quite as pampered as my mums. If the people who believe in reincarnation are proved right I hope that I will come back as a tortoise because Fred seems to have a happy and untroubled life!

“Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away.” - Ben Hecht

Friday 2nd August

In theory today should have been a fairly easy day as I was well ahead with my packing and I didn't have too many jobs left to do before our holiday, but I hadn't taken Robbie into account. He has been working so hard recently and he had loads to do before he could think about the holiday. He asked me to take him to Marks and Spencer's in his lunch break because he wanted some more shorts and a couple of other bits and bobs. It was a fleeting trip, but he got what he needed. Then he had to get back to work while I went off to do a few more errands. 

I began to think that Robbie would never be able finish his work in time, but at last he closed his laptop and announced that he was ready to help with the packing. He packed his railway DVDs, an N gauge railway set with lots of extras, three Lego sets (Technic, Lone Ranger and Back to the future), a selection of railway books, a graphic novel, stacks of magazines, his jigsaw board, binoculars and assorted gadgets. He seemed to think that he had completed his packing and I had to remind him that he would probably need clothes as well as toys. He claims that he would like to be a naturist, but I don't think Norfolk is ready for that!!

Finally all the annoying little jobs were done, the car was packed and everything was ready for us to make an early start in the morning. Robbie turned back to his work to have one last attempt to solve an annoying planning problem that had chosen to rear it's ugly head at a most inconvenient moment from Robbie's point of view. I don't know how long he spent in search of a solution because I had gone to bed and I was asleep long before he came upstairs.

Money Makes the World Go Around

I wasn't so concerned about the world going around, thanks to Robbie it was me who was going around in ever decreasing circles. He had an appointment somewhere north of here (I forgot to ask exactly where, but it involved heading towards Birmingham on a train). I altered my usual Monday routine so that I could drop him at the station at the time he wanted. I came back to the house to pick him up and he told me that he was ready, he just had to put his boots on, so I went out and waited in the car. Robbie turned up a few minutes later and I drove him to the station. He said a cheery goodbye and trundled off to buy a coffee for his journey and I drove back across town to the supermarket.

I parked the car in the supermarket car park and as I walked across to get a trolley I opened my handbag to get a pound coin out of my purse. My heart sank, there in my handbag was Robbie's wallet!! I turned around and went back to the car, I sent Robbie a text to let him know I was heading back to the station. I thought it would take me about half an hour to return the wallet and get back to the supermarket, after all Robbie couldn't go anywhere without money to buy a ticket. How wrong I was!! Baldrick Burgess had apparently bought his ticket for today's trip at the end of last week when he was at the station. So, when I arrived back at Northamptom station Robbie was just arriving at Rugby! I had to sit and wait, getting increasingly irritated while he travelled back from Rugby.

Finally he arrived looking very sheepish, I reunited him with his wallet and dashed back to the supermarket. I rushed around gathering the essentials in my trolley, but I didn't have time to do a proper shop because it was almost time for me to go to work. Men!! 

Take a deep breath and count to ten!

The title of this post sums up the the advice that I follow when Robbie is being irritating - a lot of deep breathing goes on in our house! This morning Robbie and I decided that the time has come to buy a new mattress and it is probably about time we had a new duvet and some new bedding as well. It will take a day or two to decide on the best mattress for us, but Robbie wanted to go and choose the duvet and the new bedding this afternoon. So when we had done all the routine jobs that couldn't be ignored, we set off to buy new bedding.

The first problem that we encountered was choosing the duvet. It wasn't as simple as just choosing a king size one, Robbie had to read and compare the information about each type of duvet. He decided on the 'bounce back' duvet - I wonder if that means that it will pick itself up off the floor and bounce back into place when it slips off the bed! 

Having chosen the duvet we then turned our attention to duvet covers and that was the way the trouble began. Robbie wanted designs with huge flowers all over them, but I don't 'do' flowers, I wanted a more simple design, stripes or a pattern but not flowers. Robbie moved from one hideous floral design to another and when his powers of persuasion failed he tried insults instead. Apparently I have no taste and I am stuck in the '80s - probably true on both counts, but all the insults in the world would not tempt me to buy a duvet cover covered in flowers.

Eventually he gave up on the flowers and decided that he wanted a duvet cover with embroidered butterflies - no way! More 'negotiations' followed and he gave up on the butterflies in favour of a duvet cover with pictures of buildings on it. Is it too much to ask to want a nice simple duvet cover that will not offend the eye? I used my veto on the buildings and directed his attention to a couple of other designs that I though he would like, they were not exactly my choice but if he liked them I could tolerated them. After in depth negotiations we settled on a design in the style of Cath Kidston, it was a bit fussy for my liking but at least it will not shout at me every time I walk into the bedroom.

I thought we were almost done but choosing a new bath mat proved almost as difficult as choosing a duvet cover!    

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me - Noel Coward

Robbie and I had planned to go out for the day today, but the snow dictated otherwise. It would have been madness to try to go very far today, but I wanted to get as far as the supermarket because we needed supplies and I didn't fancy trying to carry everything home. Robbie went out and cleared all the snow off the car, it proved to be a long and exhausting job. Then when I got in the car and attempted to start it, there was a tiny splutter and then nothing. That dratted car is definitely male - high maintenance and totally unreliable!

We had to jump start the car with the help of my daughter and her Yaris. Then I thought it would be best to take the car for a drive before going to the supermarket. It wasn't a very fast journey but at least we stayed safe. By the time we got to the supermarket Robbie was in a foul mood, I tried to ignore it and keep things pleasant, but it was hopeless. He was in the sort of mood where nothing was right, every item of food that I selected was wrong in some way and as we progressed around the store our trolley remained ominously empty. When we got to the pet food section he even criticised my choice of cat food - apparently he had appointed himself as spokesman for the cat! Having provided a detailed explanation of the cat's likes and dislikes he chose a selection of food that was more in keeping with the cat's (expensive) tastes! At least the trolley was filling up so we were making progress of sorts.

We got to the meat section and it seemed that nothing pleased him so I asked if he would like some gammon for a change. I suggested that it would be nice with new potatoes and vegetables but he said that he only likes gammon with egg and chips, so I said that we would have that instead. I went over to choose the gammon and he turned his nose up. That was the last straw, I abandoned the trolley and left him to have his strop on his own while I regained my composure in the magazine section. That is his favourite part of the shop so I knew he would turn up eventually. He appeared surprisingly quickly still with a face like thunder so I left him there looking at the railway magazines while I went off unhindered to pick up a few essentials.

The calming effect of railway magazines should not be underestimated. When I returned to collect Robbie he was 'mellowing' and by the time we got home he was keen to find a way back into my good books. It took me a little longer to 'thaw' but before long harmony was restored. The snow on the other hand showed no sign of thawing, in fact it looked as if there was plenty more to come.

Everyone is the age of their heart ~ Guatemalan Proverb

Most people say that my mum and I are not alike at all. She loves to shop but I don't, she loves clothes and fashion but I am not interested in clothes at all, she likes bright colours while I prefer blues and greys, she loves to go out but I prefer to stay in. People who know us better know that if you ignore the superficial differences we are very similar. We both have a steely determination, family comes first for both of us, neither of us suffer fools gladly and we both have a bit of a reputation for 'telling it as it is', in fact we can both be a but scary when the need arises! 

My mum is 82 years young and she still likes to shop until she drops, or to be more accurate until I drop! My daughter (who is 21) has taken her shopping a few times recently and after an afternoon shopping with Grandma she has arrived home absolutely exhausted. The last time they went clothes shopping together Grandma arrived home with lots of new clothes including two pairs of skinny jeans, one red and one deep pink!

My mum and Robbie are allies when it comes to clothes and shoes. They don't have the same tastes but they both love bright colours and they both like to be a bit different, they don't slavishly follow fashion but they love clothes and they share a passion for shoes. The other day Robbie wore his new waxed canvas Dr Marten boots when we went to see mum and she said that she would like to have a look at the Doc Shop. I was rather surprised, but Robbie jumped at the chance of another visit to the Doc Shop and a shopping trip was arranged.

So this morning we picked my mum up and took the scenic route past Castle Ashby and on through Grendon to Wollaston and the Doc Shop. I didn't think that my mum would like anything but it wouldn't have been a wasted journey because I needed to exchange a pair of shoes that I bought last weekend. My prediction was wrong, my mum loved the Doc Shop, she bought two pairs of shoes and a pair of boots! In fact it took me all my time to persuade her not to buy a pair of bright yellow 1461s - I am not a fan of yellow! She bought a pair of high mauve wedges, a pair of deep pink loafers and a pair of suede boots knee length boots. I think I will have two people nagging me to take them to the Doc Shop from now on!

When we finished at the Doc Shop we drove to Philadelphus Jeyes at Earls Barton. Mum loved having a look around at all the different departments, but most of all she enjoyed a welcome cup of tea and a snack at the Apothocoffee Shop. She bought a couple of new jigsaws, a recipe book, and a few other bits and bobs. I think she enjoyed her shopping trip.

Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur ~Muriel Spark

What to wear?

I had a stabbing pain in my chest while I was at work on Tuesday evening. I was busy so I tried to ignore it, but after about an however I couldn't tolerate it any longer, it was as if a knife was being forced through the wall of my chest. So I went to the bathroom to investigate and I found that the underwire in my bra had snapped and the rough end had forced it's way through the material and it was in the process of embedding itself into my skin. I removed the the broken underwire, it left me looking a bit lopsided for the rest of the evening but at least I had put a stop to the pain. It was one of my favourites and finding a comfortable replacement will be challenging, but that is a problem for another day.

On the subject of clothes, I was treated to a fashion show when I got home from work. My son was getting ready for his university interview the next day and he planned his outfit very carefully. We were consulted about his choice of shirt, the colour of his tie and then we were asked to help him choose the most suitable tie. I used to think that choosing what to wear was much easier for men, but now I am not so sure. I think he looked very smart and he worked very hard to ensure that he was well prepared for his interview so all we can do now is to keep our fingers crossed.

Let your fingers do the walking

I am sure that my children could come up with a very long list of things that I do which they find annoying. Somewhere on that list would be my habit of recalling old advertising jingles, if I attempt to sing them my son runs for cover. Come to think of it, if I attempt to sing anything everyone runs for cover, I do not have a musical bone in my body. 

Unlike Robbie, I am not a shopper I do not enjoy going to town and I especially don't enjoy buying clothes. I go to considerable lengths to avoid shopping whenever possible so for me shopping online solves a lot of problems. The idea of shopping in the sales fills me with horror (I don't do crowds!) but this year I decided to have a look at a couple of online sales. I told my son that I was 'letting my fingers do the walking' he looked horrified and told me not to say that because it sounds disgusting. I was just borrowing a phrase from the old yellow pages adverts, my son is too young to remember those adverts and it seems that the world is less innocent these days.

My purchases were delivered this morning, I felt sorry for the delivery man because the box was mostly full of books and it was very heavy. It was exciting to open all the items and look at them, but most of the books and other bits and pieces are for birthday presents etc so I had to pack them away. I bought the coolest present for my younger daughter's birthday, but I have a long wait to give it to her because her birthday is in June!      

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. - Oscar Wilde

We had a very nice day today, a long lazy morning listening to the radio and enjoying some computer time. Then after the luxuary of a nice hot bath it was time to go out. We took a gentle drive to Wolaston to check out the Doc Shop. We like to drive to out through Earls Barton, then on towards Great Doddington until then we turn off on to Hardwater Road towards Wollaston. The route takes us past a very pretty old water mill, the water was very high because we have had a lot of rain recently, the fields were flooded and the water came right to the edge of the road. I am so fed up with rain, after the unusually high rainfall in the last twelve months I am starting to feel like Noah!

Robbie's new boots

They had some of the boots from the Boxing Day sale at the Doc Shop, the ones that were used in the Olympics. They were a very good price and the proceeds were going to charity, it was nice to see them but I didn't want to buy any. I didn't think I was going to buy anything, but then I spotted some rather nice ankle boots. They were so comfortable that I couldn't resist them and Robbie bought them for me. He bought some ankle boots for himself too, they are not his usual sort of boot, but I rather like them.  

My new boots

It was not too difficult to drag Robbie away from the Doc Shop because the next stop involved food. We drove back to Northampton and had a quick look at the sale items in W.H. Smith, I love books and art products and I can't resist bookshops. I spent more than I should have done, but most of the things I bought were for birthday presents so I'd better not write about my purchases. After that we went to eat and we had a nice relaxing time just chatting and enjoying time together.

When we got home it was time to take the decorations down, Robbie got the boxes from the loft and brought them downstairs, the sight of the boxes cleared the lounge instantly, I felt like 'Billy No Mates' - even the cats scarpered! Robbie went off to the kitchen to feed the cats and get on with the routine jobs while and I spent the next couple of hours taking down and packing away the Christmas Tree and the decorations. The room looks really bare now so perhaps it this would be a good time to redecorate. On the other hand redecorating the kitchen is long overdue so that has to be my highest priority. 

Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store - Dr Seuss

Well Christmas came and went and if I'd blinked I think I would have missed it. It seems as if it passed in a blur of activity, I was so busy at work prior to Christmas and Robbie was away a lot because he also had a very busy period work wise; it was busy at home too because I had lots to do to get ready for my son's 18th birthday on 20th December so it was a challenge to get ready for Christmas at the same time. It all worked out well in the end, somehow everything got done in time, my son had a lovely birthday and we enjoyed spending time with our family over Christmas. I would have been happier if I didn't have to work on Christmas Eve and on Boxing Day, but that's the way it works out sometimes.

Robbie had lots of nice presents including a couple of new additions to his weird and wacky collection of cufflinks, boxed sets of the first three series of Ice Road Truckers, an assortment of railway books (including a very nice book of then and now railway maps) and several items to add to his Lego collection including a Lego train set with a Lego station. Unfortunately he wasn't very well on Christmas Day so his inner child was more subdued than usual - but he made up for it in the next few days!

I had lots of lovely presents too. I had perfume, a David Attenborough dvd (he is one of my all time heroes) and a dvd set that I have wanted for years, The Victorian Kitchen, Victorian Kitchen Garden and Victorian Flower Garden (one of my all time television favourites). I also had a five year question and answer  journal, it poses a question every day but the answer may differ from year to year. Robbie bought me a very thoughtful and generous present, and I was very pleased with it, but I had ethical objections to the brand. I really didn't want to tell him, but he worked it out and he was very understanding about it. After Christmas he took it back so that I could buy from a different (better) company. He wasn't brave enough to tell the Apple Store why he was returning it, but I guess if it is that important I can write and tell them why they lost the sale. I haven't quite decided what I am going to buy yet, I don't want to make my mind up too quickly because I am really enjoying 'window shopping'.

Probably Not the Next Samuel Pepys

I had to write a one day diary for a local history project that I am involved with so I thought that I would share it on the blog too.

Saturday 22nd September 2012

I really must be mad! The insistant bleeping of the alarm clock woke me at 4.30am, I reached out to turn it off and then remembered that I had moved it out of reach the night before to make absolutely sure that I woke up. I sat up and reached down to silence the alarm clock, Robbie was still sleeping soundly so I gave him a prod and told him that it was 4.30am and if he wanted to catch his train he needed to get moving right now, then I dashed off to beat him to the bathroom. When I got back to the bedroom he plodded off to get ready while I sneaked back under the covers for ten minutes, after all 'normal people' would still be fast asleep. The next thing I knew it was almost 5am and he was back in the bedroom showered and almost ready to go. It is surprising how fast you can get ready when you really have to. 

When I got downstairs he was just packing his lunch into his rucksack and by the time he got outside I had already started the car and we were all ready to go. The car knows the way to the railway station, we do that journey so often. On weekdays we are usually up at 5am so that he can catch his train to Birmingham just after 6am, so I look forward to a more leisurely start to the day on Saturdays and Sundays. Unfortunately the lure of the railway gets the better of him and he just can't keep away. Today he is going to the Deltic Gathering at the East Lancashire Railway, he is absolutely passionate about Deltics, especially his favourite Royal Scots Grey. I would have gone with him because I like Deltics too, but I have a terrible cough at the moment, it is exhausting and I haven't been sleeping very well, so I just don't have the stamina to cope with a long day on the railways at the moment.

He waved as he slammed the car door and walked towards the station. I felt a sense of relief, I had fulfilled my promise and got him there on time, now the rest of the day was my own and if I wanted to I could go back to bed. I clicked the radio on, radio 4 is the soundtrack to my life, I always have the radio on at home or in the car. I only half listened to the discussion about TB in cattle and the pros and cons of culling badgers to limit the spread of bovine TB, as I drove up the hill away from the railway station. I was thinking that my ancestors were closely linked with this part of the town. My great grandfather was orphened when very young, he grew up in the work house, but he when he was sent to be an appentice to a cordwainer in Leicester Street, he found a trade and a family and he spent the rest of his life in Leicester Street. His daughter my great grandmother grew up there, had her first home as a married woman in the next street and she brought her large family up just a couple of streets away. The area as they knew it is now long gone, but there is still one landmark that they would recognise, the spire of Seps Church still points heavenward, the clock still measures the relentless march of time in hours and minutes. The church which for centuries has witnessed the joys and sorrows of the people, stands strong and defiant amid the 'here today gone tomorrow' buildings of our modern town, reminding us of lasting values that are too easily forgotten amid the demands of modern life.

When I got home I put the kettle on for a much needed cup of tea and while I waited for it to boil I sorted the laundry into piles and put on the first load of the day. I was too awake to go back to bed and sleep, but I felt bruised and exhausted from all the coughing so I took my cup of tea and my laptop up to bed. I may not sleep but at least I could sit quietly with the radio and my laptop to occupy me. I enjoyed a couple of hours catching up with email and facebook and I began to write my diary entry for today. I must have fallen asleep at some point because it was mid morning when I woke up. I enjoyed a long relaxing bath while listening to Radio 4, a shower is fine most of the time, but there is something special about a nice hot bath. I wish this cough would get better, it is so exhausting.

It is unusual to be at home on my own, but today was very quiet, my son stayed at his friend's house last night, my older daughter had gone to Milton Keynes with her boyfriend and my younger daughter was shut in her room writing up notes in preparation for her post graduate course at Leicester University which begins on Monday. I like my own company and I never struggle to fill my time. There was a whole list of jobs demanding my attention today, but I only did the laundry and the routine tasks, I decided that the peace and quiet was too precious to waste, the other jobs can wait until I feel better.

The only problem with doing nothing is that you have too much time to think and this was one of those days that provided a lot to think about. Nine years ago today I sat with my first husband Eric in the Three Shires Hospital as the last hours of his life slipped away; then I went home and told my children that their dad was dead. Life goes on but those memories don't  fade, it is not something that you forget despite the passage of time, the details of that day are imprinted on my mind. I found myself wondering how he would feel about the way our lives have changed. I hope that I have done a good enough job as a parent, it hasn't always been easy. Eric didn't want me to be on my own if the worst should happen, but it must be hard at times for Robbie, living with a ghost. Perhaps it helps that they are very different. 

My son came home and my daughter emerged from her room, she had finished her work and was ready to fulfill her promise to paint my nails with crackle nail varnish, silver base with black crackle on top. It looked very nice. I hardly ever wear nail varnish, but it is nice to spoil myself once in a while and it is lovely to share moments like this with my daughter.

Time went on, we ate early because my daughter was going out later. My daughter went to get ready and I left my son to feed the cats while I drove to the station to pick my Robbie up. On the way back we popped into Morrisons for a printer cartridge and one or two essentials. I was glad to get home, but I had to go straight out again because my daughter wanted a lift into town. She looked amazing. We picked her friend up on the way and I dropped them both off at The Goose. By the time I got home again Robbie had a cup of tea waiting for me and I chatted to him about his day for a little while, he'd had a lovely time. 

Later on Robbie wanted to watch a film, it wasn't really my sort of thing so I decided to head up to bed with my laptop to listen to Radio 4 Extra and catch up with my friends on facebook. The cough was impossible, I couldn't stop coughing and I couldn't get my breath, it was a very frightening feeling, I was exhausted but I knew that I had another sleepless night ahead of me. Thank goodness for the internet and friends who stay up late and are happy to chat at 2am. How different from my childhood when my mum considered it very bad manners to make a telephone call after 9pm. 

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Orson Welles

My son persuaded me that he absolutely had to have new clothes ready for the start of term. He is in the final year of sixth form so he doesn't have to wear uniform and he doesn't seem to have grown since the end of last term but it seems that he can't possibly cope with the clothes that he already has. So one day last week I had the joy of a shopping trip to Topman and several of his other favourite shops.

He wanted a pair if chinos, really I would have liked to just give him the money and just send him shopping on his own, but he had asked me to go with him and it is unusual for him to want us to do things together, so it was important for me to go with him. Every pair of trousers that we looked at seemed to be designed for Stretch Armstrong. Wearing them would certainly be a shape changing (and probably life changing) experience! The legs were impossibly narrow but the bottom was loose so that they give the wearer a strange bow legged look as if they have lost their horse or have had an unfortunate accident. My son assured me that they are meant to look like that, and just to be sure that I got the message he told me that old people don't understand fashion! It is so nice to have teenagers around to make me feel good about myself!!

He chose a pair of 'Stretch Armstrong' trousers with turn ups in a contrasting colour - and he dares to say that Robbie's fashion sense is weird! He then spotted another pair of trousers on the sale rail, they were the same sort of style but without the contrasting turn ups. That was the sum total of our purchases from Topman, but we still had more to buy. He chose a pair of long shorts, a patterned jumper, a pack of socks including a green pair with ducks on and one or two other bits and bobs. He was very happy with his purchases and to be fair the clothes looked better on than off, but I can't help thinking that there was a lot of truth in the words of Oscar Wilde

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months" - Oscar Wilde

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can - Danny Kaye

What am I going to do with Robbie? We are both on leave from work and we had big plans for our week together, in fact we had something planned for every day, but at the end of last week Robbie expressed a burning desire to travel to Weymouth on Monday. When I asked why he wanted to go to Weymoyth he looked at me as if I was mad and told me "that's where the train goes". It was the train that was the attraction not the destination. To be fair he said I could go with him and he offered some sort of explanation about it being a new route or a new timetable or something like that. I had switched off by then, the idea of another marathon train journey did not appeal to me after our trip to the South West on Saturday. He seems to have had a good time but I wasn't best pleased when he announced (from a safe distance - he didn't tell me until he got to Weymouth) that I had to stay up until after midnight to go and fetch him from the station!

While Robbie was away I shopped for a picnic lunch for the next day because we had planned a trip to the National Railway Museum. We didn't need an especially early start, but after the late night Robbie had difficulty getting himself into gear, so in the end we decided to have a more relaxed day and stay local. We needed to go and pick up a parcel from the sorting office so we decided that we would pop into the farm shop as well. They didn't have any dripping for Robbie, but we bought a couple of other treats instead. The farm shop is part of a small outlet centre attached to the garden centre, so we had a look at the other shops too. I had forgotten that they had a clothing outlet there, but it didn't take long for Robbie to spot the Weird Fish stuff. He found so many T shirts that he liked, I guess they were OK but they were all very loud, so I wandered off hoping that he would follow. I was looking around a jewellry shop when Robbie came bounding in to tell me that he had seen some nice shorts and he wanted me to look at them. As we went back towards the shorts he said that I would like them because they were a bit more subtle than his usual choice. They were black and white in the loudest pattern imaginable, I didn't like them at all but according to Robbie's logic they were subtle because they didn't contain any bright colours!! 

Apparently Size Does Matter!

Mr B has been doing his Dr Dolittle act again. On Sunday evening he had a word with me on behalf of the guinea pig. According to Robbie she is not as satisfied with the new carrots I bought because they are the wrong shape! I told him that she is a guinea pig and as long as she has enough to eat she is not bothered about size, to her three small carrots are just as good as one large one. I could tell by his expression that he wasn't convinced, he told me that he was sure that she found the larger ones more satisfying. 


Usually I buy 'saver' carrots for her, but last week they had some small 'finest' organic carrots on offer. They were cheaper than the saver carrots so I chose those for the guinea pig along with her curly kale and other vegetables. I am fairly sure that she didn't even notice the difference, I think it is Robbie who has the problem not the guinea pig! Why do men have to obsess about size all the time?

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her - Marcelene Cox

I think it is a myth that women love to shop, I detest shopping and I do everything in my power to avoid it. Robbie loves to shop, if shopping was an Olympic sport  he would be a gold medalist! Pain permitting he will happily wander from shop to shop making a mental note of everything in stock. He is interested in absolutely everything, clothes, shoes, books, toiletries, gadgets, kitchen equipment, you name it Robbie knows about it! When he can't shop he reads about shopping, even about the changing dimensions of toilet rolls!


These days unfortunately pain and long working hours limits Robbie's enjoyment of shopping to some extent these days. I find myself I often find myself doing errands for him and woe betide me if I get the wrong item. Yesterday I went shopping for food, just day to day items mainly, but Robbie likes a particular brand of chicken and mushroom pie and I was going to get one of those for him too. They didn't have any in stock so I was brave (or foolish) enough to buy an alternative brand instead. It was a more expensive brand so I thought Robbie may be willing to try it. As soon as I told him about it he had that sulky look that he does so well. It was as if a big black cloud had settled over us. He said he was unhappy because the quality of the gravy was bound to be wrong and he would rather go without than have to put up with an alternative. Failed again! 


I failed last week too, I bought the usual brand of liquid soap, but I chose the green one with aloe vera rather than the usual option. Robbie gets very sore cracked hands and I thought the aloe vera may be good for his skin. He was not impressed, he complained plaintively about the 'smell' I think it is quite pleasant, but it doesn't float Robbie's boat. It looks as if we will have to have his and hers hand wash for a while until I work my way through the three bottles of aloe vera that I bought. Today he mentioned that he needs more hair stuff. I am dreading getting that because when they changed the packaging I bought a stash of the old design, but now he has to adjust to the new pack and I know that he will moan about it. I guess I will just have to throw a deaf ear, I am good at that, I get lots of practice. 

I am quietly confident that he will be pleased with one recent purchase. I have to do some odd things for Robbie at times but 'feeling' Lego men has to be closet to the top of the list. The minifigures come in individual sealed packs, there are 16 to collect but the only reliable way to find the one you want is to feel the pieces through the foil bag. I have become very good at finding them this way, but I have had some very dodgy looks. I must be mad, standing in the shop for ages 'molesting' Lego men, just to put a smile on Robbie's face! He only opens one figure each day and he still has a couple of unopened ones in his stash, but I am confident that they will complete his set of series 7 minifigures.

What goes on in his head?

It was 8.30am on Saturday morning and I was tired of waiting for Robbie to wake up, so I decided to wake him up. He seemed oblivious of the first two or three prods, then suddenly he turned over and said "That's a surprise, there were no announcements". I asked what he was talking about and he said that he dreamt that Google had a new operating platform and he was trying to work it out. Not for the first time it left me wondering what goes on in that man's head. I have never knowingly had a dream about Google, in fact I haven't given it a passing thought. What sort of person  dreams about Google for heaven sake!!


We had to go shopping for a gift for Robbie's new nephew. I was tempted by the usual sort of baby designs but Robbie was attracted to the more colourful designs. We couldn't agree, but then Robbie spotted a blue all in one with a Thomas the Tank Engine design and his mind was made up, apparently you are never too young for trains!! I know when I'm defeated, but I made sure that we found a cute cuddly elephant for the baby too.


Robbie spent most of the day planning and re planning the best route to south Staffordshire. I wondered why it was proving so hard to plan a train journey, I know it was a bank holiday weekend, but surely it shouldn't be that difficult. Eventually all became clear; he could take a more direct route and have time to eat with me before he left, but if he took the more contorted route via Walsall he could do a bit of bus spotting as well! If time had been on his side I think the buses would have won, but in the end he chose to spend a little longer with me so that we could go and eat.


I dropped Robbie off at the station in good time for his train and I drove off to do some shopping and to enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet. The peace and quiet didn't last long, when I got home my son had taken control of the television and I had to endure his viewing choices all evening. Well I didn't have to, but it would have been unkind to object when there was nothing that I wanted to watch. I occupied myself with family history research on the internet and before long I had 'zoned out' the junk on television. Meanwhile Robbie was at a family party to celebrate the wedding of his nephew (a different nephew, not the newborn one!!) according to his texts he was having a great time, but he had to admit that he is getting old - the music was too loud!! Maybe it wasn't such a hardship to put up with junk television after all, at least I could control the volume! 

Finding the Magic of Christmas

I often think that we have got it all wrong when it comes to Christmas we get so tied up with buying presents and   Christmas food becomes an ordeal from start to finish - shopping for it, to storing it, cooking it and digesting it! Despite all my good intentions Christmas crept up on me and I was as disorganised as ever. I had been stashing presents away for months, just little things for Robbie, he is a big kid when it comes to Christmas and it makes me so happy to watch him opening his presents. I had been reasonably organised about presents for other family members, our children provide lists now, so that's easy and buying for my young niece and nephews is a pleasure. Finding the money is a bit more of a challenge, but that is the same for everyone. 


The bits of Christmas that I find challenging include getting the Christmas tree and decorations out of the loft, putting the tree up - and tidying up the mess afterwards! Arguing about where best to put the tree and acting as referee in the annual argument about whose turn it is to have their angel on top of the tree this year. The food shopping is probably the biggest headache, affording it, making sure that we have enough food while trying not to buy so much that it will be wasted. It is just such an effort tackling the supermarket, unloading the shopping and packing it into the fridge and freezer. Then I have to cope with Robbie huffing and puffing because the fridge is not packed correctly and things are in the wrong place in the freezer. Last but not least is wrapping, I quite like wrapping up presents but suddenly everything has to be wrapped at once and however well prepared I think I am, I find that someone has 'borrowed' the scissors, or the sellotape - or both!


This year was like every other year,  by Christmas morning I was exhausted and it was a real struggle to get up and join in the fun of present opening, but the excitement of gift giving works it's magic and memories of other Christmas mornings fill my mind, distant memories of my own childhood when Santa always left shiny new coins at the bottom of my stocking. Then there are the special Christmas memories of my own children when they were little. One daughter asked Santa to bring her a sheep - that was one Christmas wish that didn't come true. There was the time when I was filming both daughters singing Christmas carols for their grandma and the little one (age 4) kept stopping to tell her older sister off for singing her part, it was so funny. My favourite memory of my son at Christmas was when he was a shepherd in the nativity play, he was 3 or 4 at the time and he walked up to Mary and Joseph swinging his knitted lamb around by by it's tail!


Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

In the end the food and the presents don't matter so much, it is being together that counts, family time taking pleasure in the special people around us. Christmas may be hard work but this year just as every other year, sharing the day with all the people I love made it all worthwhile.

I Want My Bed Back!

I woke up early this morning, my back ached but I was still tired. I had to sit up for a while to let my back sort itself out, so I had half an hour on the computer. I tried not to look too closely at the chaos in the bedroom, we still haven't got our clothes sorted out properly since our holiday. Mentally I pushed that particular job higher up my 'to do' list, but my top priority at that moment was more sleep and I snuggled back under the duvet to make the most of my unhurried Sunday morning.


After a lazy morning Emily and I went shopping to buy a present for my new nephew and of course something for his big brother too. Baby George was easy to buy for, we chose some very cute clothes, then we spent ages trying to find something just right for Oliver. We chose Playmobil sets because Emily always loved those when she was little. It was lovely to spend time with Emily because I haven't seen much of her since getting back from our holiday.


Before we went out I'd asked Robbie to sort out his clothing. He had agreed rather too willingly so I didn't expect much action. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he was up in the bedroom sorting out when we got back. He came trotting down the stairs in his pants to explain that he'd been busy reorganising his Tshirts. He then went on to explain a rather complicated arrangement about what he keeps where, and I have to admit that I 'tuned out' at that point.


I didn't actually go and look at the bedroom until this evening when we got home from delivering my mum's luggage to her house. I am not sure what I expecter but what I saw were piles of clothes like molehills all over the bed. It didn't seem as if there was less 'stuff' around the room, but I couldn't be sure. He insists that he worked hard at sorting his clothes out, but I have a sneaky suspicion that he was sidetracked by his laptop. Who knows, all I can be sure of is that I still need to devote a couple of days to tidy the bedroom. When it was bedtime I had to send the 'mole catcher' upstairs to find the bed before I could get into it!

The human voice is the organ of the soul.

Saturday was our first day off since getting back from holiday, we had loads to do but we didn't do any of it so we have a busy Sunday ahead!


We had a nice lazy and quirky Saturday - any day with Robbie ends up being quirky. I didn't wake up very early and it was lovely to cuddle up to Robbie and know for once that we didn't have to rush. Robbie (always a creature of habit) paused during an intimate moment to share one of his random snippets of information. According to Robbie you can only use 420 characters when updating your Facebook status. It left me feeling rather anxious, I don't want every aspect of my life to become a Facebook update!!


A trip to Morrisons proved more challenging than usual. I have done something to my ankle and I was struggling to walk. Thankfully Robbie was walking quite well (but still in pain) otherwise it would have looked very odd with us both limping. We treated ourselves to a meal at Morrisons and in a weak moment I agreed to let Robbie have a curry - I hate curry! All went well until later in the day when he came bounding across the room to give me a kiss. He had scary breath and I sent him off to the other side of the room for the rest of the day.


We still managed to have fun at a distance. Robbie wanted me to listen to a voice message from his cousin in America. They found each other through a family history site and they get on extremely well. I knew what she looked like but until yesterday I didn't know what she sounded like (except for Robbie's very inaccurate rendition of the way she says his name). It was really interesting to listen to her talking about ordinary day to day things, well most of it was ordinary, one or two things were so random that they were worthy of Robbie. Clearly they share a randomness gene, but in her case it seemed much more controlled. One nice surprise was her voice, it was lovely and very easy to understand. I don't know why that came as a surprise, I guess we are exposed to a few scary American accents on television and I just seem to expect that American women either sound like Marge Simpson or Minnie Mouse. Anyway she had a very nice speaking voice and a lovely accent, but I couldn't help wondering what she makes of Robbie's accent. He says that she has no trouble understanding him, I doubt that somehow - but maybe the family connection helps.


'Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.'  Maya Angelou