If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older -Tom Stoppard

I'm struggling to get to grips with the whole business of Christmas shopping this year. It seems that time has gone on fast forward since our holiday in Norfolk August and suddenly it's mid November. I have managed to do a little bit of Christmas Shopping because we went to see my brother in law and his family in Plymouth at the end of October and I took the opportunity to deliver the presents for my niece and nephew. I love going to see them, but we don't manage to get there as often as I would like, it's a long way to drive for a weekend and it's expensive to travel by train. We planned this trip to fit into Robbie's schedule, he is very busy with work at the moment and most weekends seem to be booked up in advance with an assortment of commitments. Robbie was very kind to me, he booked our tickets and reserved our seats making sure that we were booked to travel on a Voyager rather than an HST for both journeys. I can see the attraction of HSTs but in terms of comfort I prefer Voyagers because I'm not very tall and I find the seats more comfortable. I know the vestibules are a bit smelly but we usually get a good journey on a voyager and recent experience with Cross Country suggest that we get better service on a Voyager than on an HST. 

My favourite part of the journey is stretch Just south Exeter which follows the River Exe to Starcross and onward to Dawlish Warren and the sea. It then skirts the coast to Dawlish and on towards Teignmouth where it turns inland again and snakes along the edge of the River Teign towards Newton Abbott. It's a beautiful route and I always stop what I'm doing to look out of the window and soak up the view. In the winter it can be a bit alarming when the waves pelt the train along the sea wall at Dawlish. This area of track was badly damaged in the storms last winter, it is in use again now but there must be a question about it's long term viability.

My favourite part of the visit to Plymouth, apart from the obvious pleasure of spending time with family, was our Sunday morning walk to the Barbican. What could possibly be better than breakfast at Cap'n Jaspers on a sunny autumn morning. No trip to Plymouth is complete without a visit to Cap'n Jaspers. 

Early morning in Plymouth

My son came home from uni for a few days last week, it was nice to have him back but I didn't see much of him because he had things to do and he wanted to catch up with his friends. I took on my old familiar role of his 'taxi' driver - I had forgotten how many extra journeys one nineteen year old could create! When I picked him up from his friends house on the other side of town he was chatting to me about his friend's odd perception of age. Apparently they had been discussing a local news story and his friend described a 38 year old man as elderly. I was briefly reassured when Will told me that he'd explained to his friend that thirty eight is not elderly, but then he went on to say that it is probably more accurate to describe it as late middle age!! I wondered out loud how on earth someone so bright could have such an odd perception of reality! He looked at me with a grin on his face and informed me that as he's nearly 20 he is due for his 'quarter life crisis' so that he can get some practice in before his mid life crisis. I love his sense of humour, but he makes me feel very old.

Last Monday I drove Will back to Cheltenham. There are two possible routes but I prefer the one through the Cotswolds, it takes about the same amount of time as the other route but it is a much more interesting drive with beautiful views of the countryside. Will disapproves of my iTunes playlist, he is not a fan of Woman's Hour and I can't tolerate the overspill noise from his headphones so we had to resort to that quaint old fashioned pastime - conversation. Chatting with Will is fraught with difficulty, if I seem too interested he claims that I'm interrogating him, if I say too little I'm variously accused of disinterest or disapproval. So I take my lead from him, sometimes he is very chatty, but often when we travel together he is less talkative and we lapse into comfortable silence. It was like that on Monday, he had chatted happily about his university course for the first few minutes of our journey but by the time we reached Banbury we were both lost in our own thoughts. 

As we drove through the town I pointed out a rather ornate monument ahead of us and said "I wonder if that is Banbury Cross?". Will looked at me as if I was speaking in a foreign language and I explained that I was referring to the nursery rhyme Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross. To my surprise he told me that he had never heard the rhyme before and I couldn't convince him otherwise. It seems that I neglected  my duty as a parent to pass on the rich assortment of nursery rhymes which have been passed down the generations, so rather belatedly I recited the nursery rhyme to him. With a look of horror he begged me to stop, he knows me too well and  he was afraid that if I got started I would progress from nursery rhymes to poems and we would still be ploughing through the Pied Piper of Hamelin when we reached Cheltenham. My maternal grandmother could recite the entire poem from memory and thanks to her frequent renditions I can still manage to recite most of the poem without prompting. Will hastily changed the subject to the more pressing matter of lunch and we decided to treat ourselves to lunch at Wetherspoons when we got to Chetenham.

After lunch Will took me to see his flat, I hadn't been inside since the day he moved in. To my surprise his room and his adjoining bathroom are neat and tidy. I sat on his bed I glanced around at the unaccustomed sense of order and I noticed a row of bottles of alcohol arranged in height order along the top of his bookcase. As my eye travelled along the line of bottles I noticed with some concern that all were less than half full, then I noticed the smallest bottle at the end of the row, it was Gaviscon! I couldn't help laughing. 

Will and I walked into the centre of Cheltenham to have a look at the Shops. He showed me his favourite book shop and we had a look at a slightly quirky clothes shop. He pointed out various garments on his wish list, but having already bought him a lava lamp I didn't grant any further wishes that day. His birthday and Christmas are almost upon us so I expect some of his wishes will come true in the near future. We visited Tiger, one of my favourite shops, we don't have one locally so I enjoyed browsing and by the time I reached the tills I had a full basket and I had ticked off a few more items on my Christmas shopping list. Then it was time for me to head home, alone with my thoughts and leave Will to his new found independence.

Reverse Psychology

Photo by Hyperen

I think there has been a bit too much reverse  psychology going on recently and for once Robbie got the better of me! I suppose I have to let him win once in a while, but he needn't think he is going to make a habit of it.


A week or so ago Robbie announced that he wanted to go to a steam rally on Saturday, he was absolutely determined and he completely ignored my protests. I don't cope well with noise and my asthma has been dreadful recently (oil seed rape season always sets it off) so I really didn't fancy trailing around all day being expected to admire noisy, smelly engines so I came up with a cunning plan. I told him that I would really love to see the sea and I would like to travel along the sea wall at Dawlish again, we haven't done that for ages. Robbie jumped at the chance to play trains all day, so I thought it was a case of mission accomplished. Maybe I was distracted by the referendum and the local government elections, but I didn't spot that Baldrick Burgess was hatching his own cunning plan.


He was late home on Friday (due to computer problems at work) so by the time we talked in detail about our plans for Saturday it was very late and I was tired. I asked what time we needed to get up and he told me some crazy time even before the birds get up! I told him that there was no way that I was getting up at that time on a Saturday, I asked for a train at a more reasonable time but he said there wasn't one. I knew he was being evasive and he was not happy about being questioned because he had the look (you know the one with the lip and folded arms). Eventually I dragged the truth out of him, he wanted to go early because he wanted us to go to Plymouth on an HST rather than a Voyager, but he didn't want to tell me because I prefer Voyagers.


Saturday dawned and I was wide awake, but not too keen to leave my nice warm bed. Robbie was sound asleep and my feeble efforts to wake him failed miserably (as planned) and before long it was too late to get to Birmingham in time for the HST. We got up and got ready at a more leisurely pace, in fact Robbie seemed to be dawdling which seemed a bit odd to me. All went well, we caught the train at Northampton with enough time to buy a coffee and a bacon roll and we had a slow but adequate journey to Birmingham. Robbie raced off to buy some sandwiches and we caught the train without having to do the usual sprint between platforms. It was then that it became clear that I had been double crossed - it was an HST! I know some people like them but I find them uncomfortable, but at least it made Robbie happy. It was an OK journey but unusually for CrossCountry we had very poor service. No one checked our tickets for the whole journey and we had to go from Birmingham until way passed Bristol without a drink. When I finally got a cup of tea it was diabolical, I really don't know why CrossCountry can't make a decent cup of tea. The   RSM looked like a descendent of Fred Flintstone, he lacked any conversation skills, he had no belt, no tie, the wrong shirt and he was in dire need of a shave. However it wasn't a bad journey and the sea wall was as wonderful as ever.


Robbie was a cunning little devil because he had even worked out for us to come back by HST but after negotiations we got off at Totness and caught a Voyager back to Birmingham. It was a really good journey, the two RSMs (they changed during the journey) were fantastic, the tea on a Voyager is moderately better than on an HST (but it still tastes like pond water).  It was a lovely day out and even our journey back to Northampton on London Midland was good, the train manager was very friendly and he had a lovely accent. 

There and Back Again

Robbie had promised me a nice relaxing trip to York on Saturday, but it almost didn’t happen because my asthma decided to play up on Friday afternoon. I was feeling much better by Saturday morning so I agreed to go out as long as Robbie didn’t rush me. Usually he has me trotting backwards and forwards along the platform like a demented hen as he tries to predict exactly where he needs to stand in order to get his favourite seat. I hate running up and down stairs between platforms at the best of times, but if he had tried that today I think I would have collapsed in a heap.

Baldric Burgess had a cunning plan to make up time, we travelled from Northampton to Tamworth, then we caught a Cross Country service to Derby and we were just in time to catch the 9.46 Southampton Central to Newcastle service which took us to York. We wouldn’t have made that train if we had gone via Birmingham. My new netbook is so small and portable that I was able to tuck it into my rucksack and I sat on the voyager catching up on my mail and editing photos, that really is my idea of heaven.

We waited for several minutes at Doncaster and as I glanced out of the window I had an uncomfortable feeling that we may have been invaded by a foreign power. There was no need to worry it was just a group of East Coast staff in their rather unfortunate uniform. I wonder if the company were striving for the Russian border guard look or if they just stumbled upon it by accident.

When we got to York Robbie was bouncing around like Tigger, he was really excited about going to the National Railway Museum again. He loves the shop at the NRM and he kept calling me over to look at all the interesting goodies he had spotted. We spent ages looking at everything, there were some lovely books and DVDs. Robbie bought himself a couple of mounted prints and I bought him a poster and a 1907 Bradshaws railway map (because I wanted it too) it’s amazing.

We had a nice journey back to Birmingham on a Voyager, but sadly there was no catering until Derby. I like travelling on Cross Country services, the staff are usually friendly and helpful, the biscuits are lovely, but the tea is absolutely dire. There is so much that they do right, so surely it shouldn’t be beyond them to produce something that bears a passing resemblance to a cup of tea!

In Disgrace - again!

Photo by Chris McKenna

I know Robbie has been terribly worried about his friend and I have tried to be as supportive as possible, but I was really cross with him on Friday evening. He has a habit of dropping off the radar whenever I wouldn't approve of what he was doing. I had planned our even meal and found myself in suspended animation when Robbie didn't come home and didn't respond to any of my texts. He eventually sent me a text to say that he had gone out for a drink (plural!) with some railway friends. If he had told me I wouldn't have minded, he needed cheering up, but I was less than impressed at being ignored. He finally crept home and sent me a text asking for a lift from the station. To put it kindly he was on the wrong side of sober and he spent the night on the sofa.

He didn't wake up very early in the morning, but I stayed upstairs out of his way listening to the radio and getting on with my writing. Eventually he appeared bearing a cup of tea and an apology and I decided that life was too short to be angry. He cuddled up to me and finally I had his full attention - or so I thought. Suddenly he was totally still and his body went rigid, I thought for a second that he was having a heart attack or something, he seemed to stay like that for ever but it was probably only a minute or so. I was scared, then suddenly he put his head on one side as if listening and then he started muttering to himself. I slowly became aware that he was listening to the radio, it was about train announcements and he was trying to work out if he was listening to the sound of a Voyager or a Pendolino. Needless to say the moment was lost! Sometimes with Robbie I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Making Up

Robbie was late coming to bed again last night. I expect he was finding it hard to drag himself away from that book again. I don't know what time it was when he finally arrived in the bedroom, I had been deeply asleep but his loud conversation woke me up. I growled at him but he ignored the warning and continued talking. Then just to ensure that I had no chance of getting back to sleep he put his search light on and sat on the edge of the bed contemplating (or searching for) his navel. I threatened him with dire consequences but he just laughed at me, so war broke out. I was ready to kill him! He settled down in bed still giggling and within seconds he was snoring, but as always I took me forever to get back to sleep. I am going to confiscate his bulb!!

This morning he was repentant (and bruised). He said he wants to make up for always putting the trains first and neglecting me. Guess what he has in mind? A trip to York on a Voyager and a visit to the National Rail Museum!! Oh well, at least he is consistent. Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry!

Confession Time

Yesterday Robbie rang me at about 8.30am, he usually phones at around that time. He said that he was in London and he wanted to say hello before dashing off to his meeting in Cambridge. I asked him how long his journey to Cambridge would take in total, it was an innocent enough question but t elicited some interesting confessions from Robbie. First came the rather sheepish question "What, including breakfast and meeting friends?" He had been to visit his old friends at Euston, and apparently his three Weetabix wasn't sufficient to sustain him until lunch so he had to have a second breakfast! Then came the confession, he made me get up in the middle of the night and miss the end of my dream because he wanted to go on a Voyager! He could have travelled over an hour later but the lure of the diesel apparently justified the early start! In an attempt to distract me he told me what we could have for breakfast when we go on a Pendolino. That man, if he isn't thinking about trains he is thinking about food!!

The Never Ending Journey

Robbie, stubbornly decided to travel despite the snow yesterday and as I predicted he had big problems getting home again. He finally arrived home at 10.45pm, tired, cold and starving. For once food was was not the first thing on his mind (but it was a very close second) he was upset because he had ripped his trousers on a Voyager table. So that is another pair of trousers written off, I'm sure that man keeps Marks and Spencer in business!

This morning the snow has frozen, I couldn't even get into my car and because the doors were frozen shut and when I eventually got into the car my wipers were frozen solid and it was just a case of waiting for the heater get to work on the windscreen. The roads are treacherous and Robbie wisely decided that he should work from home today.

Big Ideas, Little Substance. 20.07.07

Robbie was in the dog house this morning, I was so cross with him. I was too tired to finish reading Rail last night so I hid it so that I could finish reading it this morning. I thought he had forgotten about it, but when I went to get it this morning he had already taken it!!

It is no surprise that the Arriva take-over of CrossCountry made the front cover of Rail this week. The news article inside makes grim reading. How can Arriva possibly have won the franchise when they are unable to explain how they are going to do many of the thinks that they promise. They are unable to explain how they will provide hot food to all passengers from a trolley. They say they are going to remove one disabled toilet from each set, leaving two toilets. As far as I know all toilets on Voyagers are classed as disabled toilets and they are all used by everyone. This will provide more seating and luggage space, fine but do the maths! These are not huge spaces so it will not create a huge amount of extra seating or luggage space. I have travelled on voyagers enough to know that the toilets are well used and removing a third of them will create a number of problems. When considering this we need to accept that it is fairly common for one or more toilets on a train to be out of order and this will put further pressure on an already reduced number of toilets. Even if the disabled seating is within easy reach of the remaining toilets, many people with disabilities are not in wheelchairs and may have to walk further to reach the toilet. Many people who are non disabled need to use the toilet more often than average including some elderly people, pregnant women, young children and a number of other groups. If they have to walk further to reach the toilet there is more potential to trip over luggage or stumble due to train movement. They may have to queue and will therefore be at risk of stumbling if they have to stand while the train is moving, there is also a risk of a different type of accident if insufficient toilets are available.

There are so many other issues where their promises lack substance, it gives me a distinct feeling of Alice in Wonderland when Iread about it, or maybe it is more like the Emperor's New Clothes, because it is all about impossible promises. It is all smoke and mirrors. Rail Magazine included a picture of Andy Cooper of Arriva and confidently announced that he is to be the Managing Director of Cross Country, but it seems that they were incorrect about that, it appears he is dealing with the transition. If that picture of Andy Cooper was of an aspiring politician seeking election, he would have lost my vote instantly. There was something of Tony Blair about him, all artificial earnestness and spin, and why ever did he allow himself to be photographed in that hand wringing pose - it is the CrossCountry employees who have every right to ring their hands in despair. Andy Cooper was at a CrossCountry meeting today and the word is that he didn't make much of an impression, apparently he has all the Charisma of a wet fish!

The John Wayne Look 22.06.07

After a busy and challenging day I sat down with this weeks issue of Rail. Like most people I don't start at the beginning of the magazine and work through in a methodical manner, I browse stopping at whatever takes my fancy along the way. I read the article on West Coast Railways, then my attention was caught by the article on the spring National Passenger Survey results. It came as no surprise to find FGW languishing in the relegation zone at the bottom of the league in terms of satisfaction and value for money. Maybe their fictional track, non existent seats and fantasy timetable were not such a good idea after all!

I thumbed the pages towards the front of the magazine and was startled to come across an alarming picture of Chris Gibb holding a urine sample! Ok I admit he is fairly easy on the eye compared to many other railway people, but bodily fluids in rail magazine - surely not! When I recovered from the initial horror I realised he was proudly displaying a sample of bio-diesel at the launch of the first bio-diesel train in UK. I think it is a hopeful sign and if the government sort out the nonsense regarding tax on bio-diesel maybe the railways can become a little greener, but please no more scary photos!

I found another photo of Chris Gibb on the Christian Wolmar page, he was still waving the dratted 'urine sample' but this time he was standing in front of the Voyager with a group of Virgin CrossCountry staff. I am sure they are all nice people but the Voyager is the star of the show, so please move the people and let us look at the Voyager. While on the subject of photos, why do all male Virgin employees stand like that? I can only describe it as the 'John Wayne look' - to put it bluntly they stand with their legs so far appart that they look as if they have just got off a horse!

Pendolino to Carlisle

We went on a Pendolino to Carlisle today - just there and back to make sure that it is still in the same place! We went to Milton Keynes to catch the Carlisle service, we go there for the comedy value, they have the campest station announcer ever. He is so entertaining, the children find him absolutely hilarious.

I quite like train travel because it gives me a chance to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes - people watching. While Robbie bought the hot drinks at Northampton the men at the ticket barrier caught my eye. The Silverlink uniform is uninspiring and with their long dark coats and the white bands around their caps, they looked rather like St Johns Ambulance personnel, but the lugubrious faces that this 'cheerful' pair possessed had a hint of the Gestapo about them.

At Milton Keynes the Virgin staff had their long winter coats on as they stood next to the departing trains. They looked very smart and just a little sinister - like German border guards. Virgin obviously try hard to ensure that their staff look smart, but from my observations shoe cleaning is a lost art in urgent need of revival! The employee on our platform was frighteningly young (another sign of my advancing age), in his somewhat large overcoat he reminded me of Paddington Bear, he looked so cute and vulnerable.

Our journey was interesting, I think I prefer Voyagers because they have nicer toilets, but pendolinos are quite nice. Our train manager's announcements were incredible, I didn't understand a word he said, but I have never met anyone who could manage as many words per minute before. May be someone had accidentally set him on fast forward. It is good to see that Virgin are doing their bit for diversity, our train crew was like the league of nations. The chap who served our breakfast was rather cute and he had a gorgeous South African accent. I lost Robbie on the train, he claimed it was an urgent trip to the toilet, but I wasn't born yesterday, we were near Crewe and he was in the vestibule doing a bit of cranking!

The train manager had a sex change at Preston and acquired an impenetrable Scottish accent. After a lot of beautiful countryside and regular time checks from Robbie as he traced the route on his Quail map, we arrived at Carlisle. It is an interesting little place, we had a look around for an hour or two. Unfortunately it seemed to be geriatric day, there were millions of them with their shopping trolleys, plodding around the shops with no sense of urgency whatsoever. We spotted one man wearing a kilt and a deerstalker hat, very scary! I was struck by the diversity of accents and the complete absence of manners - it was almost like being in France! I managed to keep Robbie out of Marks and Spencer's and as a reward I bought him a really nice book about GWR.

We had a pleasant journey back, Robbie started doing the speaking clock thing again, but I managed to distract him by explaining the reproductive arrangements for sheep. We saw a lot of sheep. Considering Robbie grew up in a rural area he doesn't know much. We enjoyed the day and I saw lots of interesting railway stuff, my favourite was a Class 37 DRS Tractor, it has a cute little face. I also saw some freight as it thundered through Milton Keynes, I am quite interested in freight trains.