Out on The Drags

Robbie had persuaded me to give him a day off on Saturday, he wanted to do what he calls 'the drags' which from what I understand involves travelling backwards and forwards on trains all day. On summer Saturdays Greater Anglia run holiday maker trains which allow people to travel from London to Great Yarmouth on a through train. They are called drags because there are no wires between Norwich and Gt Yarmouth so the diesel loco has to pull the train from Norwich. It takes Robbie all day because he likes to get full value from his Rover ticket. Yesterday we had to get up at 6am in order to get him to the station on time, but his legs let him down and he got back much earlier than planned. His pain level has been really bad recently, I hope it will ease off soon because we are running out of options in terms of pain management.

I had a lovely day, the weather was perfect and I had plenty of time to enjoy the beach. I went to Mundesley at lunch time, it was a very enjoyable couple of hours, it was such a lovely day. I also had time to have a nice long chat with 'the other Mrs Jones' I have missed her very much while we have been away.

The Bus Spotting Begins

We were awake fairly early on Monday morning, that suits me very well, it is so nice to get up and have time to enjoy the beauty of the morning and the luxury of time. We didn't do much this morning, it was such a nice day that we were content to stay close to the bungalow and enjoy the sunshine. Robbie is missing his trains already but he has an app in his i-pad to identify all passing shipping and I have caught him several times standing in front of the window (in his knickers) talking to the ships on the horizon. He should be ok we are a bit too remote for the men in white coats!

At lunchtime we took a leisurely drive to North Walsham to buy some cards and to have a look around. I like North Walsham, it still has a distinct character with small shops instead of the same old chain stores that you find on every high street. Robbie kept drifting off to do a bit of bus spotting, he just can't help himself. Robbie's legs were misbehaving today so we didn't stay out too long, but we visited our favourite shops and he had time to buy a stash of magazines. We enjoyed a cup of coffee and a cake at the coffee shop before heading back to enjoy the afternoon sunshine.

Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober - 1 Thessalonians 5:6 King James Version

Robbie wanted to go out on Friday evening, I wasn't keen because he'd had a very challenging week and I knew that he was very tired and struggling to cope with pain from his back and legs. However it was the anniversary of his friend's death and he needed to meet with other friends to remember better times. I begged him not to be too late home because I was tired too and I didn't want to be too late to bed.

We had spoken on the phone before he went out and I kept my mobile close to me hoping that he would remember his promise not to be too late. It remained silent all evening so I sent him a text to say that I was going to bed and he should ring me when he needed a lift. I sat in bed listening to the radio and doing some writing on my netbook, trying to stay awake. He finally rang to say that he needed picking up at midnight and I asked him to ring me again when he got to Rugby just to make sure that I hadn't dozed off. Time marched on and no call came, so I set off for the station, I thought Robbie had just forgotten ring. 

When I got to the station I began to worry that Robbie may have fallen asleep, so I rang him several times and sent texts for him to contact me, but there was no reply. A stream of people wandered wearily around to the car park indicating that Robbie's train was in, I looked and looked but there was no Robbie. After a brief flurry of activity the car park was still and silent again and I was still there waiting. Time passed very slowly but eventually a few more weary travellers came into view, another train had arrived, but after a brief moment of hope my heart sank, there was no sign of Robbie. By this time I was seriously worried, my mind raced, perhaps he'd had a bad fall, perhaps he had even fallen under a train ........... Finally the truth became clear, a rather confused text from Robbie revealed that he had fallen asleep on the train and ended up in Buckinghamshire. A phone call followed and a rather unhappy Robbie admitted that it would be a long wait for him to make his way back. I wasn't best pleased, but at least he was safe, so I couldn't be too angry. We finally got home at about 2am - not the best start to a weekend! 

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”

It seems that I was wrong, 'monsoon season' is not over. After a perfect week of sunshine last week a very hot weekend and a hot sunny days at the beginning of the week the rain came back with a vengeance yesterday evening. It was uncomfortably hot and late afternoon we had a brief shower which cane as a relief, it was so hot that I wanted to go and stand in the rain to cool down, but unfortunately I was busy at work so I couldn't do that . At about twenty past eight I was at the station waiting for Robbie because he was having a bad day and struggling to cope with the pain in his legs. The sky darkened and the heavens opened, it only lasted for about twenty minutes but it came down so hard that many roads including those in the station car park flooded (the water soon soaked away afterwards). By the time Robbie came out of the station the rain had more or less stopped. I thought his pain and the bad weather would have put him in a bad mood, but I was wrong. He was very happy, because lots of people had admired his new and rather splendid pink Lego brick cuff-links. 


As we drove home we encountered huge puddles and several flooded roads. The road where we live is quite high up and not prone to flooding but the drains couldn't cope and when we got home the road was flooded just beyond our house. The people from the houses opposite were all out trying to stop the traffic because the water from the road was flooding down into their houses. Thankfully our side of the road was fine.

Best Foot Forward

Robbie and I had a 'frank exchange of views' last night, I know it is silly to argue about trivial stuff but honestly how hard is is for a man to understand the difference between a dish cloth and a floor cloth!! We have the sense not to argue for long, there are so many more important things in life that it is foolish to argue about trivia.

We had a disrupted night which left me feeling useless or perhaps helpless is more accurate. I woke at 2.15am to find Robbie in agony, he was crying with pain and running through his extensive repertoire of expletives. He couldn't move and his leg was in spasm to such an extent that you could feel it 'jumping'. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help or to ease his pain. It seemed to go on forever, but in reality it was perhaps half an hour or so before the pain eased slightly. He was still moaning with pain at around 3am when exhaustion finally allowed him to fall  asleep. Sleep eluded me for at least another hour, I just lay there worrying and feeling useless.

This morning we had to get up a bit earlier than usual, to give him more time to get ready. I took him to the station so that he had extra time to walk to the platform. I knew he was worried about how he would walk from the station to the office, he mentioned it several times in the car. He said that he would just take his time and he would be OK. I wish I could do something to help, I feel so helpless. As he got out of the car he said "Best foot forward". I am so proud of him, even on a bad day like this he just keeps going. He doesn't give up and somehow he faces the day with a smile.

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~ African Proverb

It has been a challenging weekend, Robbie has been reduced to a standstill by his misbehaving legs and other assorted problems. I hate to see him in so much pain especially when there is nothing I can do except let him moan at me, it makes me feel so useless. I really do try my best not to mind when he moans, I know it is just his frustration and discomfort speaking, but I have to confess that he gets his answer sometimes. It is at times like this that I wish we lived next to a busy railway line because then he could time the trains to the second and think up better ways to run the railway instead of interfering with the way I do things!  I try (and sometimes fail) to smile sweetly and remember the words of G K Chesterton 'Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel'. Perhaps being grumpy helps him to deal with the pain.

We didn't put the Christmas tree up as planned because there was now way that Robbie could get into the loft and while I may have been able to get in, I was very doubtful about my ability to get out again. I will ask 'the son who must not be named' to get the tree down - when Robbie is not there to supervise! Daughter number two finally produced her Christmas wish list so thanks to the internet I was able to get on with my Christmas shopping without leaving the house. I have almost finished my shopping for presents, but the food shopping is still looming large on the horizon. We didn't go out except to get a few essential groceries, and a non essential and terribly sinful bread and butter pudding - my favourite! Even when he is not well Robbie still manages to tempt me to wickedness! 

One nice thing about this weekend was that I had time to catch up with writing the blog and I was able to chat online to a friend that I don't get the chance to chat to very often. It is nice to chat sometimes, it helps me to understand people better, it helps to put my thoughts in order and it reminds me to value the things that are really important in life and not to stress to much about the things that don't really matter. Robbie may be challenging at times, he may have his own unique way of doing things and he may have all the sensitivity of a rhinoceros at full charge, but when it comes to the things that really matter he doesn't let me down and I wouldn't swap him for the world!

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could - Orson Wells

Photo by Venteco

I came across the quote above (in the title) recently and I liked it very much because it makes me think of Robbie. It seems to sum him up perfectly, there is a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and you can never be sure that he will not misbehave. Unfortunately it is also true of his legs, even when he seems to be walking well you can never be completely sure that they will not misbehave. Sometimes they stop him in his tracks refusing to move at all, sometime one leg just gives way leaving him in a heap on the floor, but more often than not they just hurt really badly and walking or even just sitting still becomes an endurance test. 
Most people will know that Robbie hates what he refers to as 'green trains' with a passion. They are used by London Midland on his route to work and they simply don't offer him enough leg room to sit for an hour (to or from Birmingham) without unbearable pain. He goes to a lot of trouble to plan his journeys so that he avoids them. He gets up stupidly early every morning just to catch a 'blue train' to work and have a less painful journey. When he can't avoid the 'green trains' he has to break his journey at Coventry and wait for a train with more leg room. It takes such a lot of effort just to make a simple journey and it makes him very tired because he has a very long day, so it is not surprising that I worry about him. I have to be very careful what I say because he hates to make a fuss about his pain or to admit that he struggles sometimes. He will be cross with me for mentioning it, but my greatest fear is of him falling down the side of a train. He says it is just an irrational fear and I am being silly, but it has happened to him before and if it happened again I know he could get badly hurt. 


Yesterday when I got home from work I was very concerned because it was clear that he was in considerable pain. He wasn't exactly walking like John Wayne, more like John Wayne's grandad and every movement seemed to be agony for him. I did my best to help, but the frustrating thing is that there is so little I can do except to nag him to take his tablets. I try my best to tell him to be careful, but he still does as he likes. I admire him for that, he hates to give in, but I am so relieved that he had the sense to work from home today. 

Lost For Words

Photo by ZoofyTheJi

It is not really true that I am lost for words. I could write about Robbie's missing pants (again), he got so wound up about two missing pairs of black pants yesterday. One pair wasn't missing at all, they were folded in the pile of laundry that I had taken up to the bedroom the previous evening. Apparently I hadn't folded them correctly and on the way to the station he patiently explained how to fold his underwear and amazingly he survived - I must be mellowing in my old age!  The other pair of favourite pants were not far away either, he 'found' them this morning and stood there waving them at me triumphantly in the style of a bull fighter - it isn't the best sight first thing in the morning! 


I could write about the roof leaking when we had torrential rain last Saturday night. It dripped through the ceiling on to Robbie's side of the bed, it ruined some of his precious railway books and it spoiled the covers of some of his vinyl records. He was so angry about it. After rescuing his things and finding a container to catch the water he stormed off to sleep on the sofa and I was left wide awake worrying about how much it is going to cost to fix the roof. It will be a huge amount because it will require scaffolding. 

Photo by Laura Jones

What I really want to write about is how much I love Robbie and how useless I feel sometimes. I am not a soppy, sentimental sort of person but I do care deeply about him and I have been terribly worried by the level of pain that he has been experiencing in recent months. Pain is exhausting and constant pain can be really lowering because it affects everything you do and it changes the way you feel about yourself. Robbie is so strong and so determined to be 'normal' (in his own unique way) but it gets him down when his back hurts and his legs misbehave. I can't take his pain away but I can be strong and help him to accept the need for more effective long term pain management. I can make sure he takes his tablets and help him to cope with the rather unpleasant side effects. The tablets make him very tired, waking him up in the morning is like trying to raise the dead. Sometimes he gets very cross with me and he has been known to tell me to go away in no uncertain terms, but I don't take too much notice of that. One way or another we will get through this. It will take a long time and a lot of trial and error to find the correct medication and the correct dose to manage the pain without devastating side effects. I need to be strong, I will not let him give up.

Time For Action

Things tend to creep up on you without you taking much notice until one day it hits you like a thunderbolt that something is badly wrong and things can't go on the way they are. That is how it has been with Robbie's pain, it has always been there and it has always worried me, but Robbie hates it when anyone makes a fuss. so I have got used to noticing a lot but not making a big deal of it. None of us see ourselves as others see us but when Robbie looks in the mirror he sees Superman staring back! Thankfully it doesn't involve him wearing a skin tight outfit with with his 'smalls' over his tights - but he thinks that he has to cope with everything without complaining and without asking for help. This is especially true when it comes to coping with the pain and problems caused by spina bifida. He doesn't like to dwell on it, as far as he is concerned what can't be cured must be endured. The problem is that this approach only works while the pain is manageable, but it had become unmanageable and just coping with everyday life had become an ordeal.


Getting Robbie to see the doctor was easier said than done, but I wasn't ready to take no for an answer and he was in so much pain that he knew he couldn't go on like that. So on Friday morning Robbie and I went to the surgery to explain the situation to the doctor. His company allow casual dress on Fridays but as we walked across the car park to the surgery door I wondered why he had chosen that day to wear see through Converse with vivid blue, yellow and pink socks, jeans and a Star Wars t-shirt. The doctor was lovely, she listened and asked questions and she could see that he couldn't cope with the pain. She wanted to see the range of movement he had in his legs and I had to suppress a smile when she got him to lay on the table and had him waving his legs around like a dying fly. She could hardly miss his psychedelic feet and the look on her face was priceless. 


My hidden smile was replaced by a broad grin when the doctor said that she thought that it would be possible to manage the pain. She explained that the pain will not go away but there are several types of medication that can dampen the pain messages coming from the nerves to the brain. She has prescribed medication with a view to him taking it long term. It will take up to six weeks before he will experience the full benefit, and it will have some side effects, but it was such a relief to have a long term plan to deal with the pain. Robbie's sense of relief was even greater than mine, he even thanked me for making him go to see the doctor. There are no quick fixes and the pain will not go away but the medication will make a huge difference and hopefully Robbie will be able to enjoy life again.

Robbie On A Bad Day

Where do I start? Maybe I should just say that Robbie's mood yesterday evening was a little fragile, it was clear that he was tired - the sound of snoring was a bit of a hint! I went to bed at around 11pm and I thought he would follow shortly after - he didn't! I made sure that all my alarm clocks were set correctly because it always takes my body clock a few days to adjust to losing an hour. Then I settled down to sleep. The next thing I remember is being woken by someone treading on my ankle - Robbie had finally decided to come to bed. I probably told him to go away as I drifted back to sleep, but I was woken again shortly after by a loud bleep, then another, then a whole series of bleeps and a flashing blue light. In my confused and sleepy state I couldn't work out what was going on, was it morse code or some sort of secret message? I forced my eyes open to see Robbie kneeling naked on the bed attempting to change the time setting on his new Lego alarm clock. There was a brief but brutal exchange of insults and I advised Robbie to take clock to the bathroom to set it with the light on! It was just after 2am and I was determined to get some sleep so I turned my back on him and pulled the duvet over my head.


His Lego alarm clock announced  that it was 5am and time to get up - he slept on. After several further episodes of blue lights and bleeping and considerable input from me, Robbie plodded off to the bathroom. That dratted alarm clock continued to serenade me every 5 minutes until Robbie returned, I wanted to implant it in his head but I restrained myself and told him to take it away and drown it! His interest was then taken up with pants! Allegedly I had deliberately deprived him of his favourite underwear by failing to do a dark wash yesterday. I did a dark wash on Sunday evening, how many pairs of pants could he possibly have got through since then! I provided him with clean pants and socks but he wasn't keen to let go of the issue and he continued muttering about the underwear conspiracy until he found something else to moan about. Apparently I have deliberately failed to oil the hinges on our bedroom door just to annoy him! That man makes my hands itch sometimes!!


The thing is that none of those things were the real problem. The truth is that he is in so much pain from his back and his legs that he doesn't know how to put one foot in front of the other. He will not go to the doctor because he knows there is nothing they can do except give stronger pain killers. I feel so useless, I wish I could make the pain go away, I wish I could do something, anything to make it easier for him. There has to be some way to ease the pain and I am not going to give up until I find it!


Photo by Clix

A Task Delegated to Women?

According to the Telegraph there are some things that women do much better than men, that is no surprise to me, in fact I think women can do most things better than men. However I was rather surprised that buying underwear for men is among the many tasks that women fulfil for the men in their lives. According to a survey conducted by Debenhams men only take responsibility for 17 years of their lives!

Apparently by age 19 young men assert their independence by choosing their own underwear. Judging by the males in our family their independence doesn't yet extend to transporting their smalls to the laundry basket, but we live in hope. By age 36 men have delegated the responsibility of buying their pants to their wives or girlfriends. I don't pretend that Robbie is a typical male, the world can only cope with one Robbie, but in this respect he seems to be 'normal'. When Robbie and I first got together I soon realised that I wouldn't be able to change his 'unique' approach to fashion but at least I persuaded him that baggy boxers were not a good look, they bunched up under his clothing and made him look as if he very odd. That was the extent of my influence until recently when he started to have trouble with his trousers. Suddenly I am not only buying his pants, but I'm being treated to a personal 'catwalk experience' as he tries on each new pair and struts around the lounge showing them off. Scary stuff!

This really isn't a job that I am ready for. Robbie is the one who is into clothes not me. He gives hours of thought to what he wears (yes really!) but as far as I am concerned if it is clean, comfortable and it doesn't make me look like the back of a bus I'm happy. Why shop for clothes when you could go to a bookshop instead? So why am I spending hours contemplating the comfort of Robbie's nether regions? I think it is about time that he stopped being a statistic and took back responsibility for buying his smalls!

Underwear Heaven

Don't worry, I am not going to give you too much information and there certainly will not be a photo! After Robbie's recent problems with itchy and irritated legs we have finally found a solution. Having researched the matter on the internet it seemed that sports underwear may provide offer some protection from the irritating fabric of his suit. So Thursday morning found me at a large sports store having an excruciatingly embarrassing conversation about the correct size to buy with a male assistant who looked implausibly young. I bought the said garment, just one pair as they were scarily expensive and I wasn't sure that they would work. Robbie wasn't too sure at first, but having showed off his new knickers to my son he decided to give them a try. Our son says he will need years of therapy to recover!! On Friday Robbie rang me to say that he was in underwear heaven, apparently the new 'smalls' are perfect, like a second skin. We have now ordered more pairs, so I hope we will hear a lot less about sore legs in the coming weeks.

The Quest for Perfect Pants

For someone who claims to love being naked Robbie manages to get very up tight about his pants. Several weeks before Christmas we decided that Robbie absolutely had to have a new suit for work. The trousers belonging to his favourite suit were becoming rather see through - not a good look, and the jacket of his other work suit had something odd going on with the collar that made him look as if he had no neck. So rather reluctantly we had to break open the piggy bank and beat the VAT rise. Nothing is ever simple when it comes to dressing Robbie and when the suit arrived the trousers didn't fit quite as well as he'd hoped, so they were returned and the replacement order was delayed by the heavy snow. We finally collected the new trousers after Christmas So Monday was the first chance Robbie had to wear his new suit to work - and that is when the trouble began!

When he chose a wool blend suit I pointed out the risk of irritation, but Robbie assured me that he was not sensitive to wool and there was no risk of it making him itch. The suit had other ideas! Robbie arrived home on Monday evening walking like John Wayne, he made it as far as the kitchen before removing his trousers and inviting me to feel his legs. I have seen worse but I had to agree that there was a hint of redness probably caused by the trousers. I prescribed some E45 cream, but Robbie didn't seem keen on getting cream on his hands and I didn't offer to rub it in for him, so his legs remained uncreamed until bed time. Every half an hour or so he got up from his chair and plodded over in his pants to ask me to look at his legs, there was nothing much to see but they were obviously causing him some discomfort. I spent the evening searching online for the perfect pair of pants to remedy the problem and he finally settled on some rather attractive sports underwear from his beloved Marks and Spencer. He intended to make an urgent visit to M&S the next day. So when I plodded off to bed I was hopeful that the solution to the problem was within reach.

We were rather late going to bed and as always I was trying to get to sleep before Robbie arrived. He sat gnome like on the bed contemplating his inner thighs. I urged him to put some E45 cream on his legs and then settle down and get some sleep, my sympathy was fast being eroded by exhaustion. He asked me to get him the cream so I got out of bed and passed it to him then I snuffled back under the covers, clearly it was going to be a long night. After what seemed like hours I out from the covers to see Robbie dispensing a pea sized portion of cream on to one finger and then attempting to rub it in with just one finger. I urged him to get a sensible amount of cream and rub it in with his whole hand or neither of us would get any sleep. He must have taken my advice because he eventually got into bed, but almost as soon as he settled down he started to make strange noises, like a whimper mixed with a groan. Apparently the cream was making his legs sting even more, unbelievably he was asleep within a few minutes but his legs still seemed to have a life of their own. By the time I got to sleep it was time to wake up again, suddenly single beds seem a very attractive option!

Decisions, Decisions.

It seems as if the blog has focussed a lot on aches and pains recently, I try not to sound too gloomy, but as I write about the ordinary events of family life it is hard to avoid writing about something as important as Robbie's struggle with back and leg pain. Over recent years his legs have misbehaved more and more frequently (that is true of the rest of him too - but that's another story!). He has written off so many pairs of trousers and jackets, but every cloud has a silver lining - I suspect he is single-handedly responsible for the improvement in Marks and Spencer's profits.

For quite a long time I have been trying to persuade Robbie to take his health more seriously and to make some adjustments in his life to make things a little easier. To be honest I get more attention when I talk to the dog (and she is deaf!) but finally we have reach the point where Robbie has had to take stock and admit that even a superhero would struggle to cope with the wide range of commitments that he was trying to cope with.

As well as a demanding job and a difficult journey to work every day, he had his rail tours, gigs, various union responsibilities, family commitments, a demanding wife, and one or two other little diversions that he would kill me if I mentioned on the b

log (yes even worse than milk floats!). Anyway Robbie has reluctantly admitted that he has to put his health and his family first. Sometimes just getting to work is a real struggle, but he never gives up, he loves his job, and he puts his heart and soul into his work, so that has to come first, before any of his other activities. He loves his trains too, I am sure if he had to choose between me and a deltic he would the deltic! Never mind, I know my place! He couldn't give up his trains and his rail tours, it would be cruel to expect him to do that, but he has promised to be more realistic about how much he can do.

So that leaves gigs and the union. In his heart Robbie knows that gigs will not figure very much in his future, but he isn't quite ready to put that into words. He would't be able to stand for that long and that ridiculous bouncing up and down thing that he used to do has to stay firmly in the past. I know it is hard, but I am sure we can find other ways for him to enjoy his music (I use the term music in it's broadest sense, to me the stuff he likes is just noise). The union was the most difficult decision of all. I make no secret of the fact that I disapprove of his union involvement, but I love Robbie and I am proud of the work he has done to support his colleagues in many different ways. Recently he has been very unhappy and stressed because there have been times when his health has stopped him from fulfilling his union responsibilities and there have been even more times

when his union work has encroached on his paid work to an unacceptable degree. In the end the union pressures were too much to cope with and something had to give. It was such a hard decision but Robbie has finally decided to step aside from his union roles and let others take their turn.

So if you see Robbie he could use a few friendly words because it has been a difficult few weeks, but beware, he doesn't like people to make a fuss so a dodgy joke or a chat about trains would be

far more welcome than an excess of sympathy. He may have had to face a few setbacks, but in his head he still thinks he is Superman!

In Need of Therapy

Last Thursday Robbie had meetings in Milton Keynes, so he was able to enjoy a later start. I take Sam to school and Emily to work every morning, so I was able to drop Robbie at the station on the way. His legs were hurting, but he was on top form, and he was looking forward to the day. Sam was talking about swimming at school and Robbie mentioned that he would like to swim, he said the exercise would be good for him. So far so good, but his next sentence filled us all with horror, he announced that he would only swim in Speedos (or completely naked) apparently he isn't keen on baggy swimming shorts. Sam recoiled in horror while I told Robbie that in that case he shouldn't swim after all! Sam said that he will need a lifetime of therapy to cope with that image!

Mr Bump

Robbie had a disagreement with his feet yesterday evening, he walked from the kitchen into the hall armed with a very large carrot (he was on his way to feed the guinea pig) when he slipped and fell. He hurt himself quite badly because he scraped against the furniture before he hit the floor. He has a badly bruised hip and side but it was his dignity that suffered the hardest knock. He was furious about falling, according to him there must have been a shiny patch on the floor that made him slip - I guess that makes it my fault! Robbie thought I was very unemotional and uncaring about his fall, it wasn't because I didn't care it was because I was trying to suppress an attack of the giggles. I could cope with the ranting but when he told me that his fall had been broken by a carrot the urge to laugh was overwhelming! Poor Robbie!

Anti Cat Device

The sound of silence didn't last very long. The house seems very busy during the day as both girls have finished university and seem to be constantly coming and going. Robbie is struggling with very painful and disobedient legs, it seems as if there is no let up to the pain now and he finds it hard to cope at times. We have reached the point where it is restricting the things he can do, which is very frustrating for him and it is hardly surprising that it gets him down. I wish I could put it right somehow.

When I was at the supermarket on Tuesday I bought an air freshener for the lounge. It was one of those that produce a puff of smell every little while, they were on offer. I decided to put it on top of the television to prevent the cats from sitting there. Before long Oreo was back on the TV with his head leaning on the air freshener, when it produced a puff of perfume he arched his back and spat at it then turned his back on it. Before long Dave had replaced Oreo on top of the television and the puff of perfume surprised him so much that he fell off the TV!!

Can't Make it Better

I am so worried about Robbie. His legs and back have been causing him so much pain recently and I don't know what to do to make it better. Last night he didn't know what to do with himself, he couldn't sit down, but he couldn't stand up or walk around comfortably either. He described it as a constant unbearable throbbing and it made him really bad tempered. The most frustrating thing is that all the doctors can do is offer stronger combinations of pain killers but it doesn't work. I want him to go back yet again to see a consultant, there must be a better way to manage the pain, but Robbie seems to have given up hope of getting it sorted out. He says that they do tests and more tests but they never make it any better. Last night he didn't come to bed at all because he was too uncomfortable and he just couldn't settle. He can't go on like that!

A Pain in the Leg.

When I picked Robbie up from the station just after midnight, I could tell straight away that his legs must be hurting because he was walking very badly. He has been to loads of meetings recently, staying late at work then doing more work at home, I think sitting too long in the wrong sort of chairs is part of the problem. He insisted that he was OK and he chattered incessantly about trains and work so I couldn't get a word in about legs or anything else. He thinks that if he insists that everything is alright, it really will be alright, but deep down he knows he is lying to himself.

Needless to say I was tired by the time we got home and I went to bed leaving Robbie to potter around downstairs. He woke me when he came to bed because he was making a lot of groaning noises, but I didn't take too much notice and I went straight back to sleep. We had a dreadful night, it was like Kenny Everett meets Frankie Howerd, his legs were waving around as if they were possessed and there was a sound track of Ooohs, Ahhs and a crescendo of swear words. We were both exhausted this morning, I begged him to go to the doctors and to my surprise he agreed. They can't do much, but at least they can give him something stronger to deal with the pain.

Revenge of the Short People

My legs still haven't recovered from the journey on Saturday, it seems that these days we have laws to protect almost everyone from being discriminated about - except short people. I think I will have to start my own campaign against heightism. It is a shame because it spoilt a nice trip, obviously I will have to travel with a foot rest in future - until the short people take over the world! I wonder if they make inflatable foot rests, if not maybe I will have to invent one.

I reminded Robbie that he had promised to take me on a Pendolino and I wanted to plan where we would go, but he seemed quite determined to take me on another HST, I don't think he will give up until I learn to like it! It was nice to go out with him, and I would like to do it more often even if that means enduring an HST. I even said that I would quite like to go on one of his rail tours, but he was very quick to put me off. He explained the logistics and made sure I understood that it just wasn't possible, that's OK, I wouldn't want to come between him and the love of his life - trains!