It Wasn't Me!

Well this must be the longest gap in writing since I started writing the blog. Partly it is because I have been involved with an interesting little project which I should be able to write more about in a day or two. Mostly it is because I have been feeling absolutely dire for weeks. It sounds so pathetic to be moaning about having a cough, but this really is a hell of a cough. I have had it for at least four weeks this time and I only had a gap of about four weeks free of the previous cough which lasted for twelve weeks. The doctor says that my lungs are clear the problem seems to be higher up, but we are still investigating the exact cause. It always seems to happen when I get a cold and then I just can't get rid of it. Maybe I have to accept it as a very annoying symptom of my asthma, but to cough to the point of passing out or actually making yourself sick from coughing tends to limit your social life as well as scaring people who witness it. Anyway that is quite enough moaning for today, in fact I have probably used up a whole months ration of moans!

Robbie has been at home for three weeks or so and it has been frustrating that we haven't been able to enjoy doing more things together, but coping with the 'killer cough' and the fact that I still had to go to work got in the way of Robbie's plans. It is a bit of an exaggeration to say that he has been at home, Robbie gets withdrawal symptoms after one day without trains and I start to feel exhausted after a couple of days with Robbie, so when he asks for a lift to the station I am always ready to oblige! He has spent a lot of time on trains in the last few weeks and lots of numbers / routes have been ticked off in his little book!

This is his last week of freedom and he intends to make the most of it. On Sunday he had an HST day travelling to the South West and back. I love the sea wall, but I don't love HSTs so I decided that I would be happier at home. That turned out to be an inspired decision because when Robbie got on the train he discovered that one of the cats had vandalised his best Sennheiser headphones. When exasperated with the cats he always resorts to alliteration, when Oreo upsets him he is a 'furry, blank, fatherless, feline; but this time Bernard was under suspicion so we had a rant on the theme of 'B'.  

He managed a whole day without trains yesterday but he will be heading off on a train later today and he will probably fit several in several more trips during the week. On Friday we are going to York then at the weekend Robbie is off to a special event at the Bodmin and Wenford Railway. 

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~ African Proverb

It has been a challenging weekend, Robbie has been reduced to a standstill by his misbehaving legs and other assorted problems. I hate to see him in so much pain especially when there is nothing I can do except let him moan at me, it makes me feel so useless. I really do try my best not to mind when he moans, I know it is just his frustration and discomfort speaking, but I have to confess that he gets his answer sometimes. It is at times like this that I wish we lived next to a busy railway line because then he could time the trains to the second and think up better ways to run the railway instead of interfering with the way I do things!  I try (and sometimes fail) to smile sweetly and remember the words of G K Chesterton 'Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel'. Perhaps being grumpy helps him to deal with the pain.

We didn't put the Christmas tree up as planned because there was now way that Robbie could get into the loft and while I may have been able to get in, I was very doubtful about my ability to get out again. I will ask 'the son who must not be named' to get the tree down - when Robbie is not there to supervise! Daughter number two finally produced her Christmas wish list so thanks to the internet I was able to get on with my Christmas shopping without leaving the house. I have almost finished my shopping for presents, but the food shopping is still looming large on the horizon. We didn't go out except to get a few essential groceries, and a non essential and terribly sinful bread and butter pudding - my favourite! Even when he is not well Robbie still manages to tempt me to wickedness! 

One nice thing about this weekend was that I had time to catch up with writing the blog and I was able to chat online to a friend that I don't get the chance to chat to very often. It is nice to chat sometimes, it helps me to understand people better, it helps to put my thoughts in order and it reminds me to value the things that are really important in life and not to stress to much about the things that don't really matter. Robbie may be challenging at times, he may have his own unique way of doing things and he may have all the sensitivity of a rhinoceros at full charge, but when it comes to the things that really matter he doesn't let me down and I wouldn't swap him for the world!

Always Tired

I am always tired and according to Sam it is all because of old age, that may be a factor but I think Robbie has a lot to answer for too, he seems incapable of going to bed at a reasonable hour. Normally I head off to bed by midnight, and Robbie always assures me that he will be right behind me, but that is usually the last I see of him. Last night was fairly typical, I got into bed and there was no sign of Robbie, so I listened to the radio before drifting off to sleep. I don't know how much later it was when Robbie woke me up to tell me that he had brought me a drink for the night. He said he was just going down to lock the front door and he would be straight back. He must have vanished into a black hole on his way down the stairs because that was the last I saw of him. I was woken much later by the sound of ghostly moaning and heavy footsteps came closer to the bedroom, either it was a Scooby Doo style haunting or Robbie was on his way to bed. The door opened and a naked apparition stood moaning in the doorway, Robbie had just woken up and everything ached. After the usual torture with the light, he thumped down on the bed and settled down to sleep, still moaning painfully. Within minutes he was deeply asleep and in possession of all the duvet - I was wide awake. An hour and a half later the alarm clock went off and it was time to get Robbie up for work. No wonder I am tired, I never get any uninterrupted sleep!

Man Stress!

I have had a horrible weekend. I had great plans, but it didn't work out as I'd hoped. I always look forward to the week end because I like spending time with Robbie, but I will be glad to send him back to work in the morning. He has managed to spoil the whole weekend with his 'man stress' and I am looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet tomorrow. Believe it or not he got himself into a mega strop because someone had eaten some of his crumpets - crime of the century!! As far as I am concerned when we buy food it is for everyone and this is a big fuss about nothing. Anyway a packet of crumpets costs 57p and I had already bought another pack so there were still 8 crumpets left for him to eat. In fact I wish he had eaten all 8 because at least he would have stopped moaning for five minutes. Oh well I guess there is always next weekend to look forward to!

Drooping Dimensions and Other Difficulties!

Robbie went back to work today and I thought I would find myself writing about getting back into our normal routine after the holidays, but that will have to wait for another day. The silence from Robbie during the day was deafening, he said he was busy but I think he was just enjoying being back at work and working on his beloved train plans. It was a very different story when he got home, I couldn't shut him up, he was so cross it was just a constant stream of moans – about Rail Express! The reason for his fury is that they have changed the size of the magazine, it is now larger and as Robbie keeps pointing out, it is a non standard size. It will no longer fir in his briefcase properly and it messes up his magazine piles because it is too big. Worse of all, when he reads it on the train it 'wilts' when he holds it open to read it on the train, so the pages get damaged. If he goes on about problems with 'wilt' all weekend the magazine will be the least of his worried. Rail Express really should be more considerate, they must know what train people are like, I wonder how many wives and partners have had to put up with a whole evening of moans!

A Difficult Night

I went to bed before Robbie on Sunday evening, I was totally exhausted - by him and his illness. He arrived in bed a bit later, I have a vague memory of it because he trod on me as he got into bed, but I must have been very sleepy because I don't remember anything else until I woke with a start because there was apparently a block of ice in the bed next to me. I cautiously prodded Robbie, he was freezing even his usually radiant rear was ice cold, it made me worry that he was right after all and he really could die of a cold. A couple of hours later I woke again to find that I was unbelievably hot, Robbie was still asleep but was now too hot to handle. I gave up and decided to lay on top of the duvet to cool down. Later on I woke again because there was an eerie moaning like Marley's Ghost without the chains, I lay very still and listened - it was Robbie! He was moaning in his sleep! I hope he soon gets better because I can't cope with much more of this.

Fighting a Losing Battle

Sometimes I feel that I am fighting a losing battle, every day I do several loads of washing but we appear to have a self filling laundry basket and however much I do there is still more waiting. There is an unwritten rule that any money that turns up in the washing pile goes into my money jar. Usually it is the odd coin from Sam's pocket (why do boys trousers have so many pockets these days?) but on Sunday I found that Robbie had decided to go one step further in the money laundering stakes. He had left a £5 note in his shirt pocket and it emerged from the washing machine damp but intact, I wasn't allowed to keep it for my jar, but at least it didn't stain the shirt.

On the subject of laundry, Robbie hasn't adapted well to doing his own ironing, in fact on several occasions I have come down to be confronted by a vision of Homer Simpson in his pants busy ironing a shirt – it is not the best start to the day! I think a week of doing his own shirts has made him more appreciative. I spoke to him about it at the weekend and he squirmed when I reminded him what he had said the week before. I decided to give him another chance as far as the ironing is concerned, but if he complains again I will starch his smalls!

He is so Annoying!!!

Do you know what annoys me more than anything else about Robbie? Don't worry this is not going to be a long post, I'm sure I could write a book about the many things that annoy me, but today I will restrict myself to the highlights! The thing that annoys me more than anything else is that he is a control freak, not in a loud bombastic way, but in a quietly determined, critical sort of way. If I change any minor thing we have to have an inquest about it and it drives me mad. By the time we had our evening meal yesterday I was exasperated, he had already told me that I was storing the washing liquid in the wrong place, I had placed a bag in the wrong place in the hall, 'someone' (meaning me) had messed up the knife drawer, 'someone' (me again) hadn't done the washing up and I had even left a pile of ironed and folded clothes in the wrong place. He is either brave or stupid because this causes friction so often that even the slowest learner should have got the message by now!

I was so cross that I couldn't talk to Robbie so I took myself outside to sort out the Micra ready for its MOT today. It gave me a few minutes peace to get over my murderous thoughts, and I thought perhaps Robbie had got the message when he followed me out with a cup of tea, but no such luck. When I came back in for my meal, I got the mayonnaise out to use, Robbie noticed that I had bought a different brand and I had to endure twenty questions about why I bought that make, that bottle design, etc. He wasn't even eating the mayonnaise! It really drives me mad. Why does he have to go on and on about such trivial things? Oh well, I have a day off to look forward to on Saturday, Robbie is going out to play on an HST.

When in a Hole ......... 23.10.07

Robbie seems to enjoy living dangerously! He got home slightly earlier yesterday evening and he appeared in the kitchen to help me with the final few minutes of getting our meal ready. First he moaned about the burn mark on the iron (that he caused) because it will not come off. Then he criticised the way I filled the kettle, telling me that I wasn't even capable of filling the kettle properly. Having started to 'dig his hole' he seemed unable to stop and he went on to tell me that I was a liability in the kitchen! I took the hint and left him to it, after all I am a liability! He begged for help serving the food but I refused. Considering my inadequacy in the kitchen we had a very nice roast dinner and everyone cleared their plates, so I must have got something right! I was going to do a beef stew tonight - one of Robbie's favourites, but being a liability in the kitchen perhaps I should play safe and give him cheese on toast instead!! You may have guessed that Robbie didn't enjoy his evening very much - serves him right!

I have told him many times 'when in a hole stop digging' but he seems to do the exact opposite. Just as there was a 'slight thaw' in my attitude he messed it all up again. He had a moan about the quality of the ironing! Realising that he was now out of his depth, he said that he doesn't have enough shirts. I don't know how he could make such a stupid claim, it is like Imelda Markos saying she didn't have enough shoes! He seriously expected me to believe that he only has three, the true figure is nearer to thirty! When challenged he did back track a bit, first it was only three shirts, then it was only three long sleeved shirts and then it became only three white shirts! Oh well, I will do an audit today just to record the true figure, but if he thinks he only has three shirts he will not miss all the others, so I will stuff them into a couple of black sacks and take them to the recycling bank. I could take a few ties too, maybe some railway books as well. He can try being minimalist for a change, we could do with the space! At least I know what he wants for Christmas now.

Pillow Talk 27.02.07

Robbie was in my bad books this morning, I was exhausted and it was all his fault. I'd had a couple of disturbed nights due to a bad back, and when I went to bed last night I fell asleep fairly quickly. My sleep was disrupted by Robbie coming to bed at about half past one. I was dimly aware of him talking to himself as he plodded towards the bedroom, something about me being totally unreasonable for turning the light out. I drifted back to sleep only to be woken by a 'searchlight' and Robbie still mumbling discontentedly. I gratefully embraced sleep again, until I was roused once again by the bed moving; Robbie was using the bed as a trampoline as he climbed across and landed with a thump at the side of me. I wasn't awake enough to express my fury in words, so I made do with a very expressive growel. He finally settled down in bed, but the endless commentary continued until I could bear it no longer and I hid under the duvet to block out the noise. Never one to pick up on subtle cues, Robbie continued moaning - brave man! By this time he was complaining that I had swapped the pillows over and he couldn't sleep - well join the club!! He was talking absolute rubbish, but I was ready to harm him by this time. I sat bolt upright and forced him to swap pillows, he then settled down and within seconds he was snoring, I was left wide awake for hour, plotting murder!!