"Book lovers never go to bed alone" - Unknown

Tuesday 13th August

We'd planned to make an early start this morning because we were going to Cromer, but it proved harder than expected to get up and get organised, so it was 10am before we left the bungalow. It didn't really matter, we had an enjoyable drive and we found a parking space without too much difficulty. 

Our first port of call was the tourist information centre, it has an Internet hot spot. We have missed having a reliable Internet connection while in Norfolk, so we took the chance to catch up on email, facebook etc. While there we bought a pile of railway poster postcards - Robbie likes to collect them. 

 We wandered in the direction of Jarolds, but we didn't get that far, I had forgotten about Robbie's need to stop and photograph every bus that he sees - he even used his phone to take photos as he was crossing the road! I had also forgotten  about the hardware shop, Robbie absolutely loves that shop, he has a bit of an obsession with crockery. I waited and waited until I was so bored that I told him that I was going over the road to the second hand bookshop. I was in heaven! I had forgotten about this shop and I spent a very happy time looking at all the children's books. When Robbie saw the Ladybird books I thought he was going to burst with excitement. He bought the Ladybird book about the railway, he had a good look at the railway book section but he didn't buy any, instead he chose two hardback Snoopy books - one of them is in French!

We finally got to Jarolds where Robbie indulged his passion for pens and erasers as well as books, Playmobil, purses and postcards. We were hungry by now but Robbie still had another bookshop on his list so we walked across to the bargain bookshop and Robbie checked out the transport section - they had bus books as well as railway books so I knew I was in for a long wait! I found a fantastic book which contained all the Britains model catalogues of the 1970s. We bought that book as well as a railway book that Robbie just couldn't resist. 

At long last it was time to eat, we found a little restaurant called the Garden Street Grill. I loved the meal, the service was prompt and friendly and the toilets were excellent. It was good value and I would definitely go there again. 

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan - Eleanor Roosevelt

One of the nice things about Robbie working for himself is that sometimes he can have a day off during the week. It makes up for all those early mornings and late nights. Usually when he has time off we try to enjoy the day together, but that wasn't possible today because this is a very busy week for me, so work had to come first. 

Robbie had an appointment at the Apple shop in Milton Keynes, to have his i-pad checked out, but he didn't fancy going there by train because it is a very long walk to the shopping centre. He decided to take this chance to try out the Stagecoach Gold (Enviro 400) bus service to Milton Keynes. He wasn't impressed with the design he said it was a bumpy journey and the seats creaked and rattled, but he liked the free Wi-Fi.

I didn't hear from Robbie for most of the morning then  I got a brief text to say that his i-pad problem had been resolved. A bit later I logged on to check my email account and then I had a quick look at facebook. Robbie had found his way to the Lego shop and he'd created 3 'unique' Lego figures, the evidence was posted on facebook for all to see. I was deeply troubled by his creations, the first one seemed to be a short legged version of Robbie, the second was a colour blind woman armed with a circular saw and the third was a man apparently wearing a hard hat and carrying an implausibly large banana. It left me wondering what goes on in Robbie's head and I remarked to the cat that he could probably keep a psychiatrist fully occupied for years! One of his friends commented that counselling is available, but another friend responded "I think counselling is a little late. Besides who would want to change Robbie? We need a few Robbies in the grey old world".   

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Relaxing on the Railway

We had decided to get up early and drive to the North Norfolk Railway on Wednesday, but even the prospect of trains didn't encourage Robbie to get a wriggle on. We set of quite a lot later than we planned, but as it was Cromer Carnival I hoped that people would be heading to Cromer rather than Weybourne. As it turned out everyone seemed to have shunned Cromer in favour of the railway and we couldn't park at Weybourne. We drove to Holt instead and we found a fairly convenient parking space, it had the added bonus of giving Robbie the chance to take countless photos of Holt Flyer, the old Routemaster bust that runs between the station and the town centre.

Holt station is nowhere near as nice as Weybourne, and the toilets are disappointing but Robbie likes Holt because it has fairground rides and a little museum, which gives Robbie the chance to take lots of photos. We made lots of trips between Holt, Weybourne and Sherringham and there was the inevitable and very long visit to the railway bookshop at Weybourne. I don't know where we are going to put all his new books and magazines when we get home!

We had taken a picnic lunch with is and we ate it in the sunshine at a picnic table at Holt Station. The forecast was for strong wind and torrential rain, but it did not materialise, there was a brief shower which only lasted two or three minutes in the early afternoon, then it was calm and sunny again until we were back at the bungalow and we had a sudden heavy shower which lasted for less than five minutes. We have been very lucky with the weather it has been dry and sunny every day and I don't think I have worn a jacket or cardigan for the whole fortnight.

A Day in Cromer

We decided that we would get up early on Monday and drive to Cromer. The early bit didn't quite work out as planned, the Norfolk air must be getting to Robbie because he has lost all sense of urgency. Even when he'd had his shave and shower, he took an age to get dressed, then when he was finally dressed he put his shoes on in slow motion - how long can it possibly take to put two shoes on!

When we got to Cromer Robbie found a hotspot and he took the chance to upload a lot of photos to Facebook. Mobile phone and internet  reception in Norfolk leave a great deal to be desired, so Robbie was determined to make the most of the hotspot - while I waited! We enjoyed wandering around Cromer, but Robbie kept vanishing, one minute he would be next to me then I would turn around to see him darting off to take yet another photo of a bus. They all look the same to me, but I don't tell Robbie that otherwise he would explain the differences in far more detail than I could cope with.

We enjoyed looking at books and jigsaws in Jarolds and our favourite book shop behind the church. We bought one or two things but we were quite restrained by Robbie's standards. It was another lovely warm, sunny day so we strolled towards the sea front. I must have taken countless photos of the pier over the years, but I couldn't resist taking more because it really is a splendid pier. When we had seen all we wanted of Cromer we drove back to Walcott in time to stroll on the beach and enjoy the garden.

What goes on in his head?

It was 8.30am on Saturday morning and I was tired of waiting for Robbie to wake up, so I decided to wake him up. He seemed oblivious of the first two or three prods, then suddenly he turned over and said "That's a surprise, there were no announcements". I asked what he was talking about and he said that he dreamt that Google had a new operating platform and he was trying to work it out. Not for the first time it left me wondering what goes on in that man's head. I have never knowingly had a dream about Google, in fact I haven't given it a passing thought. What sort of person  dreams about Google for heaven sake!!


We had to go shopping for a gift for Robbie's new nephew. I was tempted by the usual sort of baby designs but Robbie was attracted to the more colourful designs. We couldn't agree, but then Robbie spotted a blue all in one with a Thomas the Tank Engine design and his mind was made up, apparently you are never too young for trains!! I know when I'm defeated, but I made sure that we found a cute cuddly elephant for the baby too.


Robbie spent most of the day planning and re planning the best route to south Staffordshire. I wondered why it was proving so hard to plan a train journey, I know it was a bank holiday weekend, but surely it shouldn't be that difficult. Eventually all became clear; he could take a more direct route and have time to eat with me before he left, but if he took the more contorted route via Walsall he could do a bit of bus spotting as well! If time had been on his side I think the buses would have won, but in the end he chose to spend a little longer with me so that we could go and eat.


I dropped Robbie off at the station in good time for his train and I drove off to do some shopping and to enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet. The peace and quiet didn't last long, when I got home my son had taken control of the television and I had to endure his viewing choices all evening. Well I didn't have to, but it would have been unkind to object when there was nothing that I wanted to watch. I occupied myself with family history research on the internet and before long I had 'zoned out' the junk on television. Meanwhile Robbie was at a family party to celebrate the wedding of his nephew (a different nephew, not the newborn one!!) according to his texts he was having a great time, but he had to admit that he is getting old - the music was too loud!! Maybe it wasn't such a hardship to put up with junk television after all, at least I could control the volume! 

The Things You See When Travelling By Train

Saturday proved to be a very special day. It involved an early start for a Saturday morning and I have to confess to feeling a bit nervous as we boarded the train because we were attending the birthday 'event' of a special friend but I did not know any of the other guests (except Robbie). The journey to Tamworth seemed endless, mainly because there was a woman opposite us who loved the sound of her own voice. I saw her travelling companion nod a couple of times, but other than that it was a monologue and she hardly paused for breath. The whole carriage was forced to listen to her talking about the problems she is having with her computer, the difficulty of getting used to a new phone and the problems she had encountered when buying a car. I was getting increasingly agitated, she was the sort of person who gives women a bad name, she could have solved all those problems herself if she had shut up and given herself time to think!


I was thankful to arrive at Tamworth and leave the woman on the train to bore her fellow passengers all the way to Crewe. A quick visit to the Ladies did nothing to lift my mood, it was grim. It didn't look especially old but it was dirty and smelly. I was able to lock the door but as there was no door handle the only way to get out was to hook my finger through a hole in the door (where a previous lock had been fitted) and pull the door open. There was no hot water and it was clear that there had been nothing but cold water for some time because the knob had been removed from the water heater. I put my now cold wet hands under the dryer to find that it made an interesting noise but it didn't work so I gave up and left with my hands still wet. Is this really what we should expect from a modern railway?

At that point we left the real world behind for the day and began a rather special adventure. The birthday boy was waiting to meet us outside the station and we boarded a lovely old Midland Red bus and headed for the top floor. The conductor who looked a bit like Pte Godfrey from Dad's Army came upstairs and issued us with a ticket (in old money of course) and the journey back in time began. The tickets were narrow strips of paper similar to those used by United Counties buses in my childhood, the Northampton Transport buses that I remember more clearly issued small square tickets of different colours depending on the fare paid.


I had not travelled on top of a double decker bus since, well lets just say for more years than I care to admit. I had forgotten how much fun it was and how much you could see. The seats were surprisingly comfortable and practical, better than those on the only modern bus I have travelled on recently. There was one concession to the modern world that I was very grateful for - the 'no smoking' rule. In my childhood the top of a bus was a fog of cigarette smoke, how times have changed.

The bus took us to Birmingham to pick up more guests and then on to Kidderminster. I was really surprised, I am not really a 'bus person' and I hadn't expected to like it, but I loved every minute of it. We pulled up outside the station and I couldn't wait for the next part of our adventure. We had plenty of time to explore the station but with two bookshops I could have spent the entire day there! A visit to the toilets proved that it is possible to provide clean, pleasant, functional facilities - so why do so many stations struggle to meet even the most basic standards?


We had a lovely cup of tea (or in Robbie's case, coffee) at the cafe next to the museum and bookshop. I couldn't drink it fast enough, I couldn't wait to look at  everything. I loved the bookshop, I bought a book about old stations in Northamptonshire and the Soke of Peterborough and a book about Ivor the Engine - I love Ivor the Engine and I want to share Ivor stories with my nephew Oliver. I wish they would do a dvd with all the Ivor the Engine episodes on it, it is the irreplaceable voice of Oliver Postgate that makes Ivor extra special.


Robbie made most of his purchases at the other book stall, a couple of 'train spotter' type stock books and a pile of lovely train photos. When he found the photos he got so excited that he almost jumped up and down with pleasure. Before long it was time for us all to meet up ready to catch our charter train. The birthday boy was running around like a demented sheepdog looking for two stragglers while most of us stood around chatting. My 'weird magnet' was working well, a little man (he was considerably shorter than me) entered the station area from the platform and marched straight up to me, shook my hand and launched in to a long explanation of why steam trains are better than diesels. I didn't tell him how much I like diesels or the conversation would have lasted all day. Suddenly he stopped talking about trains, informed me that he had important things to do and marched off in the direction of the refreshment room. I think Robbie was quite shocked.

When we arrived at Bridgnorth we had time to go and explore. Robbie and some of the others went off to experience the funicular railway. I had to choose between the bookshop and Robbie and the bookshop won hands down! I now have a wish list of books that I want. After exploring the station I got back to the train in time to have a chat with one of the other guests, then the others came back and it was time to head back to Kidderminster. We had profiteroles on the way back, they were lovely, much lighter than usual and we finished off with a nice cup of tea. I know that this was an extra special trip, but if on-board catering can be this good it seems a shame that Cross Country can't even master the art of making a drinkable cup of tea!


All too soon we were back at Kidderminster and boarding the bus back to Birmingham. For me the best part of the day was the people, it may sound odd to say that I felt totally at ease when I was with a bunch of people that I didn't know but that is exactly how it felt. It really was a lovely day and I will remember it for a very long time. 

From the Top of the Bus

A few weeks ago when I was writing about Robbie's passion for old buses I remembered catching the bus to town with my aunt when I was very young. Usually she would allow me to go up to the top deck and sit at the front. I liked this because I was high enough to see things that I couldn't possibly see from the pavement. If  we walked into town we would stop on the bridge close to the station and my aunt would support me as I scrambled up to look over the wall and down on the station below. I wanted to stay there to watch all the comings and goings at the station, but I was never allowed to. The top deck of the bus allowed me to take a longer look at the station below and if the bus drove slowly enough and had to queue at the junction, I could look across and get a glimpse of the goods yard. The station yard always fascinated me because I could hear the trains from my home. The noises seemed more noticeable when I went to bed at night and I often asked my mum what the trains were doing. Her answer was always the same, shunting, it was probably the only railway related word that she could think of. When I asked what shunting was I got a very sketchy answer, so I was always keen to see the goods yard and see this mysterious 'shunting' with my own eyes.

Thinking about those days so far back in my memory prompted me to look for pictures of the station back then. Oddly I remember the sounds and smells better than any visual memories of the station at that time. It was redeveloped in 1964/5 (vandalised would be a more accurate term) so it is hardly surprising that my memories are not so clear, I was only 4 in 1965! I can remember feeling very cross with them for what they were doing, I felt as if they were spoiling everything. When the new station was built I still loved to look down at the comings and goings on the platform but I disliked the unfriendly new building. To me it looked as if someone had dumped some ugly farm sheds in the middle of the town. It was probably the first building that I actively disliked.

Looking at the pictures I can see that my childhood instincts were surprisingly accurate. Taking away the old station building and replacing it with little more than a tin shack was an act of vandalism and deeply disrespectful to the town. I travelled by train many times during my childhood and teenage years, and the station was cold, ugly and unwelcoming, the sort of place that you would avoid if you possibly could. It is a little bit better theses days because they had to modernise it some years ago, but there is much truth in the old saying - you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. The only good thing I can say about Northampton Station is that the toilets are adequate and well looked after. 


Now plans are afoot to redevelop the station building and the surrounding area. West Northampton Development Corporation are working with Network Rail on the new development. It is hard to think of an organisation more disliked and distrusted than Network Rail, but West Northamptonshire Development Corporation is 'it', it is loathed and distrusted by locals because of it's high handed ways and the horrible things that it has done to our town. The plans for the new development are horrible, the buildings are ugly, soulless and impractical. They certainly haven't planned it with the needs of local people in mind. It only we could travel back to a time before the old station was demolished and start again, then perhaps we could get it right.


A camel is a horse designed by committee. - Alec Issigonis.

On The Buses

George Row, Northampton

It's Heritage Weekend, many buildings and places of interest in Northampton were open to the public, but the highlight for Robbie was the old buses. They were taking people on tours around the town via an assortment of interesting places. Robbie didn't seem to mind that some of the buses had never been used in Northampton or even Northamptonshire, but it mattered to me. It was nice to see a couple of our old red buses, but it would have been lovely to have seen one or two of our old green (county) buses. 

This is the bus that Robbie travelled on today

This bus is rather like the one that I used to catch to get home from school it brings back a few memories. I often travelled by bus in those days but I have probably only been on a bus about twice in the last twenty years. I don't really have good or bad memories of buses, they just took you to where you wanted to be and if you were very lucky they were on time. 


As a very young child, I often travelled on the bus to my aunt's house and back. I liked that because our journey took us past Castle Station and my aunt usually let us sit on the top deck so I could look out of the window and see everything going on at the station. There was much more going on in those days, and the bus paused at the traffic lights I could look across towards the goods yard. So I guess for me buses were just a means of seeing the things that I wanted to see!

This is the bus that took me home from school

A Northampton bus conductor

The conductor used to have a little machine with different coloured (and different priced) tickets on rolls, so when you paid your fare he or she just pushed a lever and produced the correct ticket. Most conductors were reasonably cheerful, but when someone decided to modernise the world and change to one man buses the drivers seemed to be as miserable as sin. I disliked one man (or should I say person) operated buses and for me that was when bus travel took a turn for the worse and became something to avoid if at all possible.

Northampton bus tickets

I lived and worked in Sheffield for a while in 1983 and I liked their buses very much because the drivers were not miserable and payment was simple. They had a hopper thing to drop your coins in and the ticket that was produced had an imprint of the coins that you had put in. As far as I recall it was called a videmat ticket machine. I haven't seen that system anywhere else but there again I don't go out of my way to travel by bus. 

So for those like Robbie who are interested in anything with wheels, here are some pictures of the other buses that were out and about in Northampton on Saturday. Robbie is so obsessed that he will be back 'on the buses' on Sunday

To dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms - Gordon Webber

Robbie has been keeping up his reputation for randomness, this afternoon he asked me if it was true that gooseberries were green. When I told him that they were he expressed amazement and said he had never known that. We have been together for quite a few years now and I am certain that the subject of gooseberries has never cropped up until today, the odd thing is that he went on to tell me that he doesn’t like them!

Robbie showed a marked reluctance to get up this morning, so we didn’t go to the North Norfolk Railway, we went to Cromer instead. Cromer is not very big, but it has two very nice book shops and both have a good selection of railway books so it will not come as a surprise that Robbie bought a couple of books, one was about buses and the other is about British industrial locomotives. We also bought a board for Robbie’s jigsaw, he has brought two jigsaws on holiday with him and predictably both have a railway theme.


This evening I haven’t been able to get two words out of him, he has been busy reading his Bus book and reading bus timetables that he picked up in Cromer. There is no hope when he is not train spotting he is bus spotting and when he runs out of buses he stands at the window with his binoculars spotting ships!

To dare every day to be irreverent and bold. To dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms. To continually scramble the familiar and bring the old into new juxtaposition.

Gordon Webber

Enjoy the little things, for one day you make look back and realize they were the big things - Robert Brault

Today has been a day of noticing small things that I would usually be too busy to notice. To be strictly accurate something not quite so small nearly came to public notice this afternoon, but more about that later.



It was a nice morning, sunny but breezy, not a chilly breeze, a warm comfortable breeze. Robbie had missed his mouth and spilled coffee on his pale lemon coloured T-shirt yesterday, so I soaked it overnight and washed it out this morning. Robbie grumbled when I asked him to hang it out on the line, he was missing the tumble dryer, but having time to line dry clothes is one of the pleasures of Norfolk for me. Robbie spent the morning spotting ships (or perhaps they are called boats I am not sure) from the lounge window while I was fascinated by the t-shirt dancing in the breeze, it was dry within a couple of hours and so and it didn’t even need ironing!

Robbie’s excitement about ship spotting gets a bit exhausting after a while, so I left him with his binoculars and wandered down to the garden gate to look out across the sea. The sky seems to stretch on forever and the power of the sea can’t be ignored even on a fairly calm August morning, but then as I looked down at the rough grass by the gate and I spotted a ladybird scurrying about doing whatever ladybirds do. It reminded me to appreciate the beauty in small things as well as the more obvious things.

After lunch we went to North Walsham in search of razor blades for Robbie. Until now he has worn shorts, but he decided that jeans were the order of the day for a trip to North Walsham. He was dressed and ready to go when he discovered that he had not packed his belt. I thought it would be OK but as soon as we started walking around it became clear that it was only a question of time before his jeans fell down, he kept stopping to hoist them up, but it did no good. We had to buy a new belt to preserve his modesty. Ok I know modesty is not a word that most people would associate with Robbie, but you know what I mean. Even in North Walsham he found time for a bit of bus spotting – he never gives up!!


Robbie took a lovely moody picture of the sea as he walked along the coast path this evening, being here overlooking the beach really makes me appreciate the beauty of the world around me.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

You would think that after this long Robbie's capacity to surprise me would have diminished considerably, but you would be wrong! The other day he read out a comment that he had made on the facebook status of one of his friends, it didn't make much sense to me but that wasn't a surprise, train spotters (sorry I mean railway enthusiasts!) seem to talk to each other in code most of the time. The comment in question was about hiding a pair of trainers under the bed, that seemed relatively normal to me compared to some of the things that are hidden under our bed, but Robbie seemed to find it funny. Eventually he explained that his friend was a trainer collector and he had to hide new purchases because they were taking over the house. It still didn't seem very funny to me, after all I spend my life tripping over Dr Marten boots with a few pairs of Converse thrown in for good measure. I pointed out that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, but that just made him fold his arms and stick out his lower lip.


That little incident set me thinking, Robbie knows some 'interesting' people including a plane spotter, an escalator spotter, a roundabout spotter (the road type not the fairground ride), several bus spotters, a couple of closet milk float spotters and a whole legion of train spotters. Then there are the obsessive collectors, some collect train parts or railway related stuff, there is the trainer collector and various other hoarders. Robbie collects railway books, magazines, model railway stuff, cuff links, ties, pens, stationary - and that is only the things that I am prepared to admit to in public. The big question is where does he meet all these people? Hoarders anonymous perhaps or maybe there is a social networking site for extreme spotters or possibly they have some sort of secret handshake like the masons. One things is certain, when it comes to the weird and the wonderful, birds of a feather flock together!

A Time and a Place

So far Tuesday has been much nicer than Monday was, but everything turned out well in the end, so I can't really complain. Why do Monday mornings come round so quickly? One minute it is Friday and the whole weekend stretches ahead then you blink and it is Monday morning again. We had a nice weekend, but it just didn't last long enough. I think my favourite bit of the weekend is Saturday morning, it is so nice to wake up and realise that you don't have to be ruled by the clock. Cuddling up to Robbie while listening to Radio 4 on a Saturday morning is so special, but it is a struggle to get his undivided attention. I am used to his rather unique ways, but even I can't cope with some things. It irritates me when he notices every bus that goes along the road and then recites the complete timetable for that bus; I get even more irritated when he sits there reading a Quail map and forgets that I'm there, but when he chooses Saturday morning in bed to tell me about his colleagues and their train spotting obsessions I know that it is time to give up!

Why does he do that?

Those people who read the blog regularly will know by now that Robbie's thought processes are random to say the least, but he still manages to surprise me sometimes. His mind wanders at the most inappropriate times. I am sure he thinks that I have a pause button - like the television. At the weekend he interrupted an intimate moment to tell me about a bus tour next year, needless to say the moment was lost. I am sure his colleagues think it is funny to fill his head with this daft information, don't I have enough problems with him and rail tours without telling him about bus tours as well. So beware, I know who you are and I'm not amused!!

The Mystery of the Missing Pants

Robbie had a very busy weekend, we had a nice day together on Saturday, but in the afternoon I dropped him off at the station knowing that he would be away until the next evening because he was going milk float spotting with his friend on Sunday. According to him they were bus spotting and the milk floats just happened to be there, but I have my doubts, he has some very odd interests so I suspect that he is a closet milk float spotter and the buses are just a clever way of disguising his interest in milk floats! Anyway he had a lovely day out with his friend and he came back with lots of photos of buses - and milk floats!

While he was away I took the opportunity to sort out his drawers and wardrobe. When he came home his clothes were nicely folded and sorted into neat piles on the bed so that he could put them away in the correct drawers. One pile was topped by four pairs of his favourite M&S pants which he had previously alleged were missing. I sat on the bed and chatted to him as he put his clothes away - he likes to be in control of his drawers! Suddenly he complained that there was no underwear in his drawer and none on the bed. There was some underwear in his drawer but not his favourite type. I searched high and low for his pants, I knew they had been there earlier in the day so either we'd had the oddest burglary in history or Robbie had misappropriated his own knickers! Robbie was muttering darkly about being forced to go commando, so desperate measures were called for. An emergency load of washing was put on, so at least Robbie could go to work fully clothed for the next few days!! I searched everywhere for his missing 'smalls' and I finally found them hidden away on the top shelf of his wardrobe. So could it be a poltergeist with a preoccupation with pants or is Robbie losing his marbles?

A Troubling Obsession?

When we were on the train on Sunday Robbie waited until I was relaxed and comfortable, then he rummaged in his rucksack and brought out a leaflet. He opened the leaflet and slid it across the table towards me with a big grin on his face. There were pictures of old buses (Robbie is a bit of a closet bus spotter!) but my eyes fell on a much more troubling picture of milk floats. This place (I can't remember where it was - I was too traumatised!) has a collection of milk floats. Why would anyone want a collection of milk floats? I hate milk floats even more than I hate Volvos, they get in my way, they park inconsiderately and and they always seem to be driven by fiercely ugly old men. As far as I am concerned the only sensible thing to do with a milk float is to blow it up 'Braniacs' style!

I gave Robbie a steady stare, I can put up with a lot, I don't mind his obsession with trains, I can tolerate his 'thing' about buses but if he is going to get into milk floats that is a step too far, its unnatural, in fact it's scarily weird. Robbie guiltily admitted that he wanted to go to see the buses with a friend of his. I grudging agreed on the strict understanding NO MILK FLOATS! I can tolerate most of his enthusiasms but milk floats are a step too far!

The 'Robbie Effect' 16.02.08

The 'Robbie effect' on the railways is becoming rather worrying and people have started to notice. Every time he travels north he seems to jinx the network and either he gets delayed or the whole system grinds to a halt. He has run through most of the possible causes of delay from livestock on the line to high wind, floods, land slip, a bridge bash, power failure and assorted accidents. He went to Crewe yesterday evening to a retirement 'do' and he rang me several times detailing his return journey. He wanted a lift and we have major road works near the station so I needed to allow for a longer journey time to get to the station. I had already left the house when he sent a text to say that he was delayed due to a fatality at Nuneaton, I didn't pick up the text until I got to the station so I wasn't best pleased. I went home and had the added pleasure of driving back to the station later on to fetch him. That poor person, it is a horrible way to meet their end and terribly upsetting for the driver and those who have to clear up.

So once again Robbie has travelled north and once again there was a delay. Is he jinxed? Why does it always happen when he travels? He would hate it, but to avoid the 'Robbie factor' it may be worth Network Rail imposing a travel ban and paying for him to go everywhere by taxi. They should understand the concept, after all, they are the cause of so many other passengers being forced off the rails and ferried around by bus and taxi.

Network Rail - The Big Question 02.02.08

It seems that Network Rail is one of three unlikely companies that have been granted permission to award their own qualifications that will have equivalent status to A Levels and diplomas. When I heard this announced on the news a question sprang to my mind. Will Network Rail be restricted to weekday training, and if not will their trainees find their rail qualification replaced with a bus qualification?!

I am not sure how much meaning a Mc Donald's A Level will have, but I can see that a Network Rail qualification would be a great asset to anyone considering a career in politics. After all, experience in blame shifting, diversion, diversion and pointless delay would seem to be a great advantage!

The real story

Homage to Homer 16.02.07

Robbie was late home because his train was too full to get on! When he finally got home he sat down to watch the Simpsons with his clone (Sam), they both like the television and the Simpsons is a particular favourite. Not surprising really, Robbie is built like Homer and behaves like Bart. In this particular episode Bart said that he would like to run naked in the forest like a pagan it seems that Robbie and Homer even share the nakedness gene!

Laura was trying to get Robbie to speak proper English, but without much success. He can't say bus, he always makes it sound as if it has several z's in it, he also has trouble with the words stuff, tooth, grass, bath and countless others. He also has an unnerving habit of using the word 'just' at the end of a sentence, it doesn't make sense. We can't change him so we are teaching him new words instead. He will never have a chance to use them because he couldn't possibly fit any more words into 24 hours!