It is not unusual for me to be annoyed with Robbie - he would probably tell you that being 'in the doghouse' was an almost daily occurrence! That isn't true, of course there are minor irritations and I get annoyed when he rearranges the fridge, hides the recycling bin, puts things out of my reach and leaves the toilet seat in the wrong position (believe me I could come up with a much longer list!) but serious disagreements are much less common.
We are a very odd and unconventional couple, but it works, I love him more than I could express in words and I know that he feels the same. That is why I worry about him, especially when it comes to looking after his health and well being and I get seriously annoyed when he takes foolish risks with his health. Yesterday he was at the railway station by 6.10am and he didn't get back to Northampton until 11pm. He was asleep on his feet and in so much pain that he could hardly walk! Nothing so important that it is worth risking your health. A friend of his gave him some very sound advice, I just hope he takes notice.
" .......... She speaketh of kind tongue. The railway will break itself without your intervention, and it will heal itself thus. Will the railway fixeth you? The runes say "bugger off". Do less more often; the difference is negligible."
I remember my grandmother telling me to 'tell the truth and shame the devil' when I was a child. I doubt that she knew that she was quoting Shakespeare or that the origins of that phrase dated back even further. She just knew that it was good advice, that it is better and easier to tell the truth even when you are tempted to lie. I am not sure if Robbie received similar good advice, but from what I have been told about his grandmother I suspect he was. However there have been a few occasions when he thought that he could pull the wool over my eyes - he is a slow learner! He always seems surprised when he gets caught out and he asks how I knew. I don't tell him because I like to keep him on his toes, but it can be quite comical. He had heard me tease my brother because his voice becomes noticeable higher in pitch when he departs from the truth so Robbie makes a conscious effort not to to do the same. What he doesn't seem to have noticed is that his accent becomes more 'West Midlands' when he is caught out telling a fib. In fact the other day when he tried to avoid telling the truth he sounded so much like Lenny Henry that I almost burst out laughing. I hope he has finally worked out that it is easier (and safer) for him to just tell the truth!!
Robbie has a really annoying habit of asking my advice, nodding furiously when I offer my opinion and then doing as he likes. I don't (usually) expect him to do what I tell him, he would get a very direct answer if he tried to tell me what to do; but why ask me if he is going to do as he likes anyway?
Sometimes I rely on ancient wisdom and I keep on offering the same advice. According to Ovid "Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence." In the end it is his life and he has to live with his choices, so I don't push too hard, I just hope that he will 'wise up' eventually. I could't push him anyway, he is a stubborn little devil, he would refuse to budge and the effort would kill me.
This week has been a bit of a high point for me because Robbie has finally decided to act on a piece of advice that I have been giving him for quite a few years. I am not sure why now is the right time, perhaps he is just a slow learner or more likely it was a difficult thing to do, but I am pleased that he has finally decided to deal with that particular issue.
According to my mum, if you want a man to do something you need to sow the seed and nurture it so that it becomes his decision. It has taken five or six years for this particular seed to germinate but I hope Robbie will think that 'he' has made a very good decision.
I don't mean to offend anyone, but we have had an overload of news and information coming from America in recent months. I am very pleased that Barack Obama is the new president, but I am alread starting to feel that if I hear his name one more time I will scream. So I thought I wouls include something a bit different on the blog. I read a number of websites and among all the drivel about politics I came across this, it made me smile and it contains some good advice.Advice From An Old Farmer* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.* You cannot unsay a cruel word.* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.* The best sermons are lived, not preached.* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen, anyway.* Don't judge folks by their relatives.* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.* Always drink upstream from the herd.* Good judgment comes from experience, And a lotta that experience comes from bad judgment.* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog aroundI hope Robbie takes note of the bit about fences, he still hasn't finished mending our fence!
In general I try to be a fairly helpful sort of person, nothing out of the ordinary, just on the boring side of normal if you know what I mean. So I really can't work out what it is about me that makes all sorts of people tell me about their problems.
I can be minding my own business wandering around the supermarket and bump into a parent that I knew slightly because years ago our children were in the same year at school. When I realise that I can't dart off in a different direction and pretend I haven't seen her, I manage a polite 'hello', and before I can stop myself the foolish question 'how are you' has slipped from my lips. Time slows down and my eyes glaze over as she relates every intimate and cringe makingly embarrassing health problem she has had in the last ten years. I do my best to compose my expression while my brain franticly searches for a plausible excuse to escape. When I finally reach the freedom of the car park I vow to be more careful in future, but it is so difficult to avoid the phrase 'how are you?'.
Another person who I know slightly because our children are friends bumped into me in the fizzy drinks section of the supermarket and after the briefest greeting proceeded to tell me in graphic detail about the trouble she was experiencing with piles – far too much information!
At work people tell me about problems with their children, their partners, their health and various unmentionable issues. I don't think I am especially sympathetic, I don't give amazing advice, I usually tell them that they understand their individual circumstances best so they are best placed to know the right answer for them. It isn't even that they think that if I can cope with Robbie I can cope with anything, because most of them don't know him. I really don't know what makes them confide in me.
A few weeks ago a customer at work asked for advice about a product, I helped him briefly as I would any customer. Now he seeks me out and comes to have a chat with me, he is a little unusual, in fact he may be the most boring man in the world. Last week he came in and told me about the history of a company that produces batteries, complete with dates, locations and sales figures. This week he took twenty minutes to tell me about the history and evolution of the cassette tape recorder. I asked if it was a special interest of his, he shook his head and said that he just likes information, then he added that he is most interested in the history of the teasmaid. I was horrified, could this possibly be Robbie's long lost twin! But to get back to the original question – why me?!
The highlights of the day were not especially notable. I tackled the washing mountain and Robbie decided to chase the sunshine away by wearing his alarmingly loud shorts. Don't worry I didn't endanger my camera so there is no photo! They have a whitish background with large deep red flowers all over them. If I had to find one word to describe them it would be 'unforgettable'.
Anyway my day was too boring to deserve much attention so I have written about something more interesting instead. Robbie's shorts reminded me of some interesting advice about men's clothing that my Grandma gave me. Wisdom is hard to define, but there is plenty of wisdom in these little gems of advice that have helped to keep me out of trouble. My Grandma always liked to have the last word (and the first) so the first three items and the last one are advice from my her.
Never trust a man in green trousers. I have absolutely no idea why, but it is advice that has served me well over the years. I assume it means that you should trust your instincts and if something or someone doesn't feel quite right you should beware.
A little of what you fancy does you good. Grandma always said this in relation to food, but I am sure she would be horrified to find that I have successfully applied it to all sorts of other areas of my life too!
You will miss me when I am gone. I can't tell you how much this infuriated me, but it is true. We have to learn to appreciate what we have now, because we cannot rely on the same people or things being around to enjoy later.
My mum does not give advice in the same way that Grandma did, but she has set an example of independence and determination and she taught me many valuable things. The next two are from her.
Men are like dogs, if you don't train them young you never will. I don't think that needs any explanation!
A woman can do anything better than a man - because we take time to read the instructions. This has given me so much confidence over the years.
I have various people to thank for the next few pieces of advice.
Never slam a door too hard because you may have to open it again.
Expect the unexpected
Live for today
Tell the truth and shame the devil. Yes, it's Grandma again, but it is true. Telling the truth makes life so much easier and less complicated. You retain your integrity, gain the respect of others and it encourages people to deal with you more honestly.
So it is back to my Grandma for the last word. She had this verse framed and I was very disdainful about it when I was younger, but I have to admit that it is true. If only we could help younger people to understand it.
Four things come not back,
The spoken word,
The speed arrow,
The past life and
The neglected opportunity
