Take a deep breath and count to ten!

The title of this post sums up the the advice that I follow when Robbie is being irritating - a lot of deep breathing goes on in our house! This morning Robbie and I decided that the time has come to buy a new mattress and it is probably about time we had a new duvet and some new bedding as well. It will take a day or two to decide on the best mattress for us, but Robbie wanted to go and choose the duvet and the new bedding this afternoon. So when we had done all the routine jobs that couldn't be ignored, we set off to buy new bedding.

The first problem that we encountered was choosing the duvet. It wasn't as simple as just choosing a king size one, Robbie had to read and compare the information about each type of duvet. He decided on the 'bounce back' duvet - I wonder if that means that it will pick itself up off the floor and bounce back into place when it slips off the bed! 

Having chosen the duvet we then turned our attention to duvet covers and that was the way the trouble began. Robbie wanted designs with huge flowers all over them, but I don't 'do' flowers, I wanted a more simple design, stripes or a pattern but not flowers. Robbie moved from one hideous floral design to another and when his powers of persuasion failed he tried insults instead. Apparently I have no taste and I am stuck in the '80s - probably true on both counts, but all the insults in the world would not tempt me to buy a duvet cover covered in flowers.

Eventually he gave up on the flowers and decided that he wanted a duvet cover with embroidered butterflies - no way! More 'negotiations' followed and he gave up on the butterflies in favour of a duvet cover with pictures of buildings on it. Is it too much to ask to want a nice simple duvet cover that will not offend the eye? I used my veto on the buildings and directed his attention to a couple of other designs that I though he would like, they were not exactly my choice but if he liked them I could tolerated them. After in depth negotiations we settled on a design in the style of Cath Kidston, it was a bit fussy for my liking but at least it will not shout at me every time I walk into the bedroom.

I thought we were almost done but choosing a new bath mat proved almost as difficult as choosing a duvet cover!    

Surely not!!

I have to acknowledge that I have a weakness, if Robbie wants something I find it very hard to tell him that he can't have it. I have always tried to do my very best for all my family, seeing them happy makes me happy. The difference is that Robbie wants some very odd things at times. I know that I am old and boring - my 'nearest and dearest' remind me of that often enough, but I think most people would admit that Robbie has a rather unique fashion sense, and I really don't have the words to describe his approach to colour, the only word that springs to mind is 'loud'.

Yesterday he announced that his Berghaus jacket has seen better days and it is time to get a new one. He told me he had seen a nice green one and he sent me a link so that I could look at it online. I was pleasantly surprised, it was a deep olive green, it would have looked appropriate with smart clothes but it would have looked good with casual clothes too. I told him that I liked the colour and he looked surprised. He mentioned that I don't like green, but I said that I didn't mind olive green. He looked even more surprised, then he announced that I was looking at the wrong colour. My heart sank when he directed me to his chosen colour - it was pea green! I begged him to reconsider but he said it was beautiful. I only recall one instance of pea green being described as beautiful. In Edward Lear's poem the Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat - but they were a very odd pair! As far as I am concerned pea-green looks good on peas, but on anything or anyone else it is a mistake.


I spent the rest of the evening trying to change his mind but I was wasting my breath. Can you imagine what it would look like if he wore that on one of 'rancid green machines' He would clash with the train and scare the passengers! So this is a plea to the select few who have more influence with Robbie than I do (you know who you are). Please take pity on me and persuade him to choose a different colour.

I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience - Author Unknown

Today is the day! The big 40 has finally caught up with Mr B. It may be his birthday, but it is also a normal working day so we had to get up even earlier than usual to allow Robbie to have a few minutes to open his cards and presents. He had chosen to have money for his birthday, but he had lots of nice presents too. A couple of pairs of cufflinks, aftershave, a retro mug based on the old Ladybird books, Lego minifigures, Lego books, a reproduction of an Eagle Annual, as well as various other bits and bobs. He also had two pairs of Dr Marten Shoes, one pair chosen by him and so hideous that they defy description, the other pair chosen by me and much more sensible. They are red 1461's (made in England!) he seemed to be very pleased with them - and almost as pleased with the Dr Marten carrier bag that they came in!


All too soon it was time for him to get ready for work. It would have been nice to have a long lazy day together, but the 'real world' dictated otherwise. Before long Robbie was dressed in his dark suit with a smart white shirt and his new 'keep calm and carry on' cufflinks. He had stashed his Lego minifigures in his briefcase along with a set of farm themed novelty erasers. I had bought them to remind him of our trips to the Farm Shop and he seemed delighted with them, apparently he used to collect erasers - why does that not surprise me!


He was careful to reassure me that he isn't going to change just because he is 40, I don't think he is very keen on the idea of becoming old and sensible. He needn't worry, according to Jerry M. Wright "The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left." If that is true there is danger of Robbie becoming more mature that any time soon, he still likes his music loud and annoying. 

You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again. Bonnie Prudden

Last of the Summer Sun

When I went to the supermarket earlier this week, it felt as if I had taken a step back to early August. It was very hot with bright sunshine and and everyone was wearing short sleeved tops. To my surprise it has remained and sunny ever since. Of course looks can be deceiving, it may be hot in the middle of the day, but the early morning is dark and distinctly nippy and the long summer evenings have been chased away by the encroaching autumn darkness. I am always pleased to see the sun, but in a way the sunny days this week are a sad reminder of all that has gone. Was it really six weeks ago that we were on holiday in Norfolk? 

I love the summer, I don't need the weather to be too hot, just warm and comfortable, but mostly I love the long days and warm pleasant evenings. I think my favourite month is May when there are so many wild flowers and it warm with long lazy evenings and the summer stretches ahead of us. September is my least favourite month, it feels as if the darkness closes in around us with dark mornings and encroaching darkness in the evening with the promise of worse to come. We all have little triggers that remind us of past sadness and for me it is the sound of conkers falling to the ground from Horse Chestnut Trees. I remember the excitement of getting up early to go and collect conkers when I was little and I did the same when my children were little, so there are some good memories. However they are overshadowed by the memory of sitting in a hospital room, looking out at the beautiful grounds and hearing the conkers fall from the trees with a thud on to the grass below. In the quiet of the night the thud of the conkers falling seemed very loud. How odd that something so insignificant can sound so loud when a human life can slip away noiselessly.

Loud and Impossible to Ignore

On Friday evening I collected my daughter from university, she was finally home after a trip to USA. She is a Geography student and the trip to SW USA was an important part of her course. Her flight home had been delayed by five hours so I expected her to be tired and jet lagged, she wasn't, she was very talkative. 


She had seen some amazing places but for the first hour or so all she could talk about was how much she disliked the food. This surprised me as I had assumed that they would have the same sort of food as we do in UK, but apparently that is not the case. She was appalled that they have doughnuts for breakfast, she said that everything was far too sweet and the portion sizes were ridiculously large. She said that everywhere seemed to smell of peanut butter and it made her feel ill, I think she may have been exaggerating because I can't imaginine anyone wanting to eat peanut butter on a regular basis. I think she may have seen peanut butter here but we don't have it at home. I quite like it but she doesn't like nuts so I am not surprised that she was put off by the smell. I asked if they still have Root Beer in USA, back in dim distant past they used to have root beer at Mc Donalds and I loved it. As far as I was concerned it was the only nice thing at Mc Donalds, but it was probably very bad for me - it seems that everything that I like is bad for me! She didn't know anything about Root Beer, but she told me that Mountain Dew is different in USA, it is high caffeine here but apparently they can't put as many additives in it here as they do in USA.  


My daughter said that fuel was really cheap (I wish it was here) but she went on to say that apples were very expensive. I am not sure why apples and fuel popped up in the same sentence, but who knows what goes on in the brain of a 19 year old! I can't think why apples would be expensive but that is what she said. Anyway I must stop obsessing about food, but in the interest of fairness I should point out that within a couple of days she was longing for some of the things she had eaten in USA. Young people are so fickle!

Being a typical young woman she found time for a bit of a spending spree. She bought herself some lovely clothes and a new ipod, and knowing Robbie's passion for PJs (or as he says 'lounge-wear') she bought him a pair of PJ bottoms, he loves them because they are loud and hard to ignore - just like him. They have M&Ms in various colours all over them, to say they are brightly coloured is an understatement - they are scarily loud. I didn't think the blog was ready for another picture of Robbie in his PJs but you can see the pattern in this picture. I think Robbie was rather touched that she knows him well enough to make such a perfect choice.

A Blind Eye

Robbie and I are different in many ways, he is louder than me in every sense, this is most obvious when it comes to clothes. I know what I like and I know what suits me and I tend to stick within my comfort zone, this doesn't usually involve loud colours and patterns. Anyone who knows Robbie will know that he is the exact opposite, he likes colour and he loves patterns, the bigger and bolder the better. It annoys me when Robbie tries to tell me what to wear, especially when he starts to offer advice on underwear. When it comes to fashion advice he is more Homer Simpson than Gok Wan!

I really try to live and let live, but it takes a super human effort not to comment on some of his more challenging fashion statements. This morning he headed off to work wearing a shirt that almost stopped me in my tracks. He must have had a whole shop to choose from so I can't understand why he chose that one. It is difficult to describe but he looked as if going to an audition for the Wurzels! I'm not going to change him so it is just a question of of perfecting a 'blind eye'. I am short sighted so when I take my contact lenses I don't see the detail, that makes him a little easier on the eye!

Startled By Socks

Robbie is sulking because I have complained about his socks! I am fairly used to his rather loud choice of colours and patterns, but I think things have gone a bit too far. When we went to the park at the weekend I glanced down and noticed that he was wearing his see through Converse trainers with luminous yellow socks, it was a little alarming to say the least. I think he must have chosen those socks to go with his high visibility jacket!

That was not the most alarming experience with socks recently, a deeply disturbing episode happened the previous week. I usually go to bed earlier than Robbie - because he prefers to talk to the weird ones on one of his railway forums rather than enjoy my company. Anyway I went to bed just before midnight, I left the bedside light on but I snuggled under the duvet and went to sleep. Considerably later I was woken when something snatched the duvet from above and I was left to freeze. I opened my eyes to see Robbie standing on the bed wearing only a pair of luminous green socks (with orange heels and turquoise toes). He had decided that the duvet needed shaking because he thought it had gone a bit thin at the top and he was genuinely surprised by my furious response. I was ready to harm him!

My biggest objection to the multi coloured socks is that they are a pain to wash, I can't wash the yellow ones with the pink ones, and the green ones can't go in with anything else. Worse still he insists on rolling his dirty socks together in pairs, I love Robbie, but I really don't want to get up close and personal with his dirty socks! I think I will get him a wash bag to put his dark socks in, so they will stay together without being rolled up. As for the alarming colours, I can't stop him wearing them, but if they are that important to him he can wash them by hand.

A Short Lived Smile

I managed to put a smile on Robbie's face last night - I bought him some Polish Jaffa Cakes! unfortunately the smile didn't last too long he is like a bear with a sore head again this morning, but at least I know he is still capable of cracking his face. Actually he even laughed at one point last night, but that was only because he was laughing at me for not knowing who Jane Fonda is. I know now, I looked her up, she was in that L'Oreal advert, apparently she was in some films too but I didn't see any of them. When he stopped laughing at me for that he decided to test me on other people I may not know. He started with John Lydon, but I did know who he was because he was in a butter advert. I didn't know what group he was in but I don't think I would have been interested in him, I was never that interested in music and judging by the song that Robbie played last night his music wasn't exactly attractive.

Robbie says that his colleagues keep teasing him about his yellow T-shirts, I don't really understand they just pick on the yellow ones they are quite tame compared to his vivid blue one, and his lurid pink one can only be viewed with sunglasses! If that is not enough to scare you, there's always his luminous green and brown shorts. Robbie wouldn't be Robbie without his loud and slightly alarming clothes, they are just like him really!

The Shirt Saga.

The shirt hasn't gone back to Marks and Spencer - yet! However Robbie has agreed that he will buy some long shorts instead, so I will be keeping alert until the shirt is safely returned. He got me to take him late night shopping at Tesco last night and he fell in love with some very loud and scary shirts there too, but I managed to steer him away without incident. There were some very nice but loud shorts, just Robbie's sort of thing, bright pink and brown with a huge pattern on, I could have coped with those but they didn't have his size so maybe the world is not quite ready for that vision yet! Robbie is feeling very hard done by, he claims he has even had women offering to take him shopping to help him choose more suitable shirts. They would soon learn, taking Robbie to Marks and Spencer is like taking a child to Toys R Us, you lose all hope of seeing daylight ever again!

All His Own Work!

When I was listening to the radio on Saturday they were discussing Michelle Obama's comment that she chooses all her husband's clothes. Maybe that is OK for a US president, but I want to make it clear that I have no control whatsoever over what Robbie wears, it is all his own work! Well I have to admit refusing to have anything to do with him if he wears certain T-shirts, and I did veto a red tie because it made him look like a party political broadcast, but that is the limit of my influence! It has crossed my mind to try to modify his tastes, but it would be a waste of effort, Robbie will always be 'a bit unique' and if I stop him wearing one thing, he will only find something worse! He tries to influence me sometimes, but I do as I like. I don't like loud colours and bold patterns (except on circus clowns) so him pestering me to wear brighter colours is pointless, I wear what I like.

Robbie - by Sam. 16.01.07

Sam, has decided to describe Robbie from his point of view, he had a bit of help from his sisters too.

Robbie is a bit weird in some ways. He is very interested in clothes but he is really retro like he is stuck in the 80's. His favourite clothes are PJ bottoms, he calls them 'lounge wear' and he wears them all the time at home if he can get away with it. Mum makes him wear a T shirt with it because he is not allowed to eat meals without a top on, she says he is worse than Stan Ogden, but I don't know who he is (I expect he is dead, most people that she talks about are dead). Robbie also likes wearing the T shirts that he buys at gigs, but sometimes mum says "you can't go outside wearing that or you will get arrested" he tries to argue but he always has to change. There is a T shirt that he really wants but mum won't him buy it because she says it is blasphemous, that makes Robbie laugh, then we all laugh and mum gets cross. He likes big patterns and bright colours, you should see the shorts that he wears on the beach, they are very loud - just like Robbie really!

Sometimes I borrow Robbie's socks and that makes him really mad, and whatever pair I have nicked he always claims they were his best pair! He used to wear boxers but they bunched up and mum said it made him look like Gandhi (that is someone else who is dead, he used to wear a thing that looked like a big nappy). Now he wears trunks (Robbie not Gandhi) and he likes them better because they are more comfortable.

Emily says he has a sort of skater style and Laura calls him a 'geek with chic' but I think weird sums it up best. He has a thing about shoes too, he collects them, he loves Dr Marten's and he likes converse too, they have to be bright colours, in fact the stranger the better as far as he is concerned.

Robbie eats revolting things like black pudding and dripping, he dips bread in his gravy and sometimes he even eats ostrich burgers - disgusting! Sometimes Emily tells him off for keeping evil things in the fridge, she is a veggie so she gets a bit stressy sometimes.

In some ways Robbie is like me because we both like facts and details and we don't like people to mess up our routines. The person who is most like Robbie is our little sister, they look so alike and she is loud, noisy and totally mad too.

Emergency Stop!

We were on the motorway on our way to Cornwall when suddenly Robbie let out a piercing yell, so loud that I thought we were about to crash. It turned out that he had spotted a train at the side of the motorway! Thankfully I was driving otherwise Robbie may not have survived unharmed!