Clever Cats

Robbie is not one to shy away from a challenge, but sometimes I think he is a slow learner. Surely he should know by now that it is impossible to train a cat - but it doesn't stop him trying! Each time the clocks change he begins a process with the cats to reset their body clock. Train planning spills over into all aspects of Robbie's daily life including feeding the cat's. they have their booked slot and he nothing will make him deviate from it. Each day Robbie talks to the cats and explains how much longer they have to wait until their designated meal time (using the 24 hour clock of course!). Oreo is nice but dim and he doesn't take much notice of Robbie, but George humours him by looking vaguely interested. He is older and wiser than Oreo, he can tell the time, and he can manipulate Robbie. If Robbie makes him wait for his food, he gives him the run around, he raids the bin, scratches the door and does countless other things to get his attention. Robbie hasn't quite made the connection yet, a well fed cat is a well behaved cat! Eventually Robbie will realise that cats have a more elastic concept of time - rather like Network Rail!

Irony

I read in a newspaper article yesterday that Network Rail staff will have to travel to a staff conference by coach because it is too expensive to travel by train. So that must be why they disrupt services and force rail travellers on to replacement buses, it's cheaper. According to the Metro article the cost of all the staff attending the conference by coach would be £2400 compared to £27000 for rail travel. I don't put too much faith in those figures since the same article claims that that Coventry is in Berkshire! Anyway there is a certain kind of irony in Network Rail staff being forced on to coaches, I hope they are smelly old bone shakers like the ones that we get stuck with each time they mess up our rail services.

Nationalised Express!

So the National Express East Coast franchise is to be taken back into public ownership. It was hardly a surprise announcement, I don't really see what else the government could have done because it it starts letting toc's renegotiate contracts it will make a mockery of the whole process (which is a bit of a farce anyway). What worries me most is what we end up with when the government try to fix a problem - Network Rail for example!

Yesterday was a really busy day for me, so I had no time to ponder on the rights and wrongs of the decision about National Express, in fact I didn't even think about railway matters until I got home in the evening. Robbie began by reading out snippets to me from his railway magazine, then when he wasn't getting much response he grabbed his headphones and settled down to watch the DVD about Laira Depot that he had for Father's Day. I could just about tolerate the appreciative sighs and grunts coming from his direction, but when he began to add to the soundtrack with his own train noises I had reached my limit. I gave him one of my most meaningful stares and he got the message loud and clear. He is already in the dog house (yet again) so he didn't need too much of a reminder not to push his luck!

In The Dark

Coming second in favour of a train in Robbie's affections wasn't such a big surprise, but last night I found that I came second to Network Rail - now that was a surprise! He'd promised to be home by 8pm but there was no sign of Robbie, just a text to say he wouldn't be too late; it's a good thing that the cat is good company or I would start to feel neglected! I lost track of time and when I looked at the clock it was well past 11pm, so I expect him to ring fairly soon asking for a lift from the station. Some time later the phone rang, it was Robbie, but he was totally incoherent, I couldn't make sense of anything he was saying. When I had calmed him down and reminded him of the need to take a breath it became clear that he was lost. He had set out to walk to Birmingham International Station, but the route he knew was locked and in the course of searching for another way into the station he had got lost. I gave him some practical things to do and when he rang me back he had got to the station but by then he had missed his last train. There was one last train to Coventry due soon after midnight, so we agreed that he would get that and then get a taxi from Coventry to Rugby.

While the intrepid traveller was tackling the next stage of his journey, I set out for Rugby in the car. It was a very strange journey, familiar routes seem so different in the dark. I got to Rugby just before 1am and I didn't have to wait too long for Robbie to turn up. He seemed very subdued, maybe he expected me to be angry, but it seemed pointless to be cross, after all he didn't do it on purpose. We saw two foxes on the way back as well as other assorted wildlife, but the only thing I was interested in seeing was my bed. It was almost 2am when we finally got home, Robbie made me a cup of tea, but I was so tired that I was asleep before the tea arrived.

When the alarm clock went off at 5am I was so sleepy that I really didn't want to get up, but Robbie was determined not to be late for his meeting - with Network Rail. After last night I think they must be extending their sphere of influence, I have become accustomed to their various strategies to delay trains and inconvenience passengers, but they managed to delay Robbie before he even got to the train!

Lost for Words!

I was cross when Robbie woke me up this morning, I am never to keen to get up but today I was annoyed because I was having a dream about moving house and he made me miss the ending. I don't know where I was moving too or why I was moving, but I was angry with one of the removal men and I was just in the middle of telling him that I had employed him for his muscle power not for his oppinions and if he couldn't conduct himself properly he could take his spurs and leave because there are plenty of other cowboys who would be glad to get the work. That is when Robbie woke me, just as I was starting to enjoy it! I have no idea why I had that dream, I haven't moved house for 18 years and I have no plans to move. When I stopped to think about it, I realised it was 18 years almost to the day since we moved, but I hadn't thought about that before the dream. Spooky!

Anyway Robbie was very organised this morning because he is going to Cambridge via London today. I upset him by suggesting that it would probably be much easier to travel by coach instead, he was horrified by the suggestion and he informed me in no uncertain terms that people who work for train companies do not travel by coach. I could have reminded him that thanks to Network Rail, most regular rail travellers frequently find themselves travelling by coach. I didn't say any of that because my composure crumbled and all my attention was focussed on trying not to laugh. Robbie was standing there hands on hips looking deeply indignant wearing only a pair of socks and a tie! It was only later that I wondered why anyone would put on their tie before their shirt!

A Way With Words.

Often when I write the blog I have a moan about the astounding incompetence I encounter in everyday life, but today I am full of praise. I think Virgin Trains could teach us all a thing or two when it comes to communication and media management. At the end of last week I listened to Tony Collins, CEO of Virgin Trains being interviewed on Radio 4. The first thing I noticed was that he had a trustworthy voice – a rarity in the rail industry. What he didn't say was as eloquent as what he said. The interviewer pointed out that the Pendolino had been voted the least liked inter city train by passengers. He focussed on the many benefits the Pendolino offers and refused he to be sidetracked. I don't know who these people are that don't like Pendolino's, I like them very much, and Robbie will rearrange his plans just to travel on a Pendolino. To be honest I prefer them to H.S.T.'s but I know Robbie would argue with me about that. The best thing about the Pendolino is that it is safe, Barry Doe hates them so there is no danger of finding him sitting next to you!!

Anyway back to the Tony Collins interview, the best bit was when he talked about Network Rail, his words were inoffensive and succinct, but we were left in no doubt about the underlying message! Virgin have a way with words, the other day I laughed out loud when I read the Virgin Rail Group response to Network Rail and Office of Rail Regulation comments on West Coast performance. It is not a laughing matter, but it reminded me of my mum. She used to tell me that you have to be careful what you say, but nobody can control what you think. Virgin have turned that into an art, their words are well chosen, but we are left in very little doubt about their thoughts!

Unbelieveable!

I am so cross! When Robbie rang me to ask how I was, he had to endure s tirade of fury about Network Rail or to be more precise about Iain Coucher CEO of Network Rail. I had just read an interview with him in Personnel Today and it made my blood boil, I'm sure my blood pressure must be sky high.

http://www.personneltoday.com/articles/2009/03/23/49963/view-from-the-top-network-rail-ceo-iain-coucher.html

The article started off by acknowledging that Iain Coucher is used to being on the receiving end of criticism but Coucher asserts that he can take it. Interestingly no observation was made on how justified the criticism is, but if it was a play for sympathy from the reader it failed miserably. I suspect his astronomical salary helps him to put up with his hurt feelings.

The article plodded on rather predictably; considering the interview was personnel focussed I didn't think he was very complementary towards his workforce. Clearly he saw this as an opportunity to tell the world how wonderful he is, unfortunately for him I don't think most of 'the world' reads Personnel Today! Then I came to a paragraph that left me speechless, I couldn't quite believe what I had read and I had to read it again, in fact I read it several times, how could anyone make such arrogant assumptions? The paragraph in question began with Iain Coucher being asked about his staff .....
he says there are three distinct cultural groups within Network Rail: "There are 17,000 or so maintenance staff in orange jackets who tend to read The Sun; 9,000 signal box and control room staff wearing Network Rail fleeces and jeans, who may be Telegraph readers; and the professional services people who wear business attire and may get their opinions from The Times."

How dare he make such assumptions about his staff! Even the interviewer used the term 'simplistic pigeon-holing', but Iain Coucher claimed it helped him to communicate with his staff. Unbelievably it gets worse, he went on.....
“I like to make sure we angle our recruitment campaigns for each of the three groups towards their interests, and I not only try and dress like them if we're going to meet up, but I read each of their newspapers, as well as the FT, every day."

I think that shows astounding arrogance, but I guess it explains a lot, if Network Rail target the majority of their recruitment at Sun readers!!

The article rumbled from one exaggeration to the next. When asked about his greatest achievement at Network Rail he cited bringing track maintenance in house. Surely that was forced upon him by the numerous episodes of engineering overruns and the ensuing travel chaos!! To put it kindly he was making a virtue out of necessity.

He danced around the issue of his very large and increasing salary with the skill of a politician and his ability to spin the facts made Tony Blair look like an amateur!
"In the five years since we took over from Railtrack, we have achieved the highest ever punctuality record.......”
Really? It certainly doesn't feel like that and I suspect it doesn't feel like that to the TOC's either!

"We have pushed passenger satisfaction to an all-time high.......”
I am certainly not convinced by this statement, maybe the TOC'c have improved passenger satisfaction, but that would be in spite of rather than because of Network Rail! What about Network Rail's customers, the TOC's, the freight companies etc - I seem to remember some eloquent expressions of dissatisfaction from Virgin and I think the freight operators were unhappy too.

Having stretched my credulity to the limit, he managed to save the best until last. Under the heading 'minorities' he said
"We try and recruit minorities at the same rate as they apply, so if 10% of applicants are women, we try and convert that same proportion into job offers.....”

Women are NOT a minority!! They may be under represented in the rail industry, but there are some very able women in the industry and with a little effort there could be more. Network Rail should be doing more to encourage women to apply for employment. Women have many strengths including built in 'lie detectors', maybe Network Rail should employ a lot more women – to help them think up more believable excuses!

I Blame Network Rail!

On Friday when Robbie left for work I asked him to promise not to be late home, and he assured me that he would be on time. He was with Network Rail, so before I put the dinner on I phoned him to check when he would he back, he said he would be on a later train, so I agreed to pick him up. I dropped Sam off at his friend's house on my way and then drove to the station just in time to meet his train. I sat there for a minute or two, then my mobile rang and Robbie announced that he was not on the train and would be an hour later!! He still hasn't explained why he didn't tell me as soon as he knew he wouldn't be on the train, it would have saved me a wasted journey. Maybe it is a Network Rail thing - never give anyone any useful information!

I picked him up later and he was full of apologies, he promised me his undivided attention for the rest of the weekend. That promise turned out to be like the countless Network Rail promises about the West Coast main line – all hot air! He went online and got into an argument with some lame brains about train overcrowding. I gave up and went to bed and he promised he would be there in a minute. Over an hour later he was still on his computer arguing about trains with those sad acts, so I gave up and went to sleep. This morning when he finally woke up, he cuddled up to me and told me in great detail about how he used to collect erasers when he was a child, that was a real turn on! Later when I was having a bath he came in and sat down to have a chat, I was pleased, at least he wanted to talk to me, but then he started a long discourse on his plan to partition the hard drive on his computer! He doesn't need a wife, he needs a robot! If this is the result of a couple of days spent with Network Rail I dread to think how bad he would be after a week with them!

They Didn't Plan to Fail, They Failed to Plan!

I'm sorry, I'm still going on about trains, but there was yet another problem with the West Coast Mainline yesterday! I couldnt resist quoting from this article in The Times Rail expansion grinds to a halt as power line faults cause chaos

Last December Network Rail promised that a new timetable would “herald a step change in the frequency and speed of train services” unfortunately we didn't realise that meant more delays and chaos than ever! The article made me laugh out loud, Network Rail really make themselves look ridiculous The company has stopped carrying out daylight inspections of the lines and does them at night instead to avoid closing tracks during the day. An industry source said that it was much harder to spot defects at night.

A Trail of Coincidences?

Passengers on the West Coast Mainline must be wondering when all the travel chaos will end after a second new year of travel chaos. There have been a number of vague and unhelpful statements from Network Rail, claiming that the delays and cancellations are due to "infrastructure problems" and The Daily Mail reported that a Network Rail spokesman said A Network Rail spokesman said: A Network Rail spokesman said: 'We don't know anything at the moment, but we're not ruling anything out. My guess is that it is an awful trail of coincidences.' That much bad luck doesn't just happen it, it has to be caused. To adapt the words of Lady Bracknell, to lose power in one location may be regarded as misfortune to lose it in more locations looks like carelessness!

Virgin Trains must be totally exasperated by the problems, but I must congratulate them on the way they deal with the media, I am sure I have commented on it before, but their representatives always sound knowledgeable, articulate and appropriate. I listened to their spokesman Arthur Leathley on Radio 4 yesterday, he had a very nice 'trustworthy' voice (like a favourite grandad), he answered questions sensibly and he was very measured when speaking about Network Rail but he managed to convey the frustration of the train operators and their concern for the passengers. There was a very good piece in the Daily Mail Rail bosses blamed for 'rush job' as 100,000 commuters caught in travel chaos

A Quantum Leap

It is so cold, the snow from Monday is still hanging around, and where the roads and pavements have not been gritted it has become solid slippery ice. Robbie fell over and hurt his back on his way home from work this evening, it is hurting him but he seems to be able to move fairly freely so hopefully it will not get any worse. He'd had a difficult journey to work this morning, there were delays and cancellations apparently this was due to a broken rail somewhere near Birmingham and there were diversions in place as well due to a problem with overhead lines on the Trent Valley.. I He finally got to work just after 11am! I could tell by his texts that he was totally frustrated, the word 'farce' in capital letters was used in every sentence. His return journey was equally frustrating, and he didn't get home until 8.30pm! Tomorrow looks even worse in terms of rail travel because Robbie has just informed me that there are problems on the West Coast Mainline again, this time it is overhead wire problems at Bletchley and more overhead wire problems at Watford. It looks as if Network Rail tempted fate on 14th December last year an unknown Network Rail spokesman boasted "The achievement is massive and the result will be a quantum leap in services." and Iain Coucher said "Now it is complete passengers and freight operators will reap the benefits". Well it has certainly been a quantum leap – in the wrong direction! I think George the cat has the right idea – get as close to the fire as possible and stay there!

Suspicious Behaviour

When I got home yesterday evening I thought Robbie must have been abducted by aliens and a complete stranger left in his place. Not only was he watching Pride and Prejudice, he was obviously enjoying it. That may not sound very strange, but Robbie doesn't usually bother with things like that, after all there are no trains in Pride and Prejudice! There was other uncharacteristic behaviour too, he was so attentive that I became suspicious and asked him what he had done wrong. It was at that point that the old Robbie became evident again, he began to talk about one of his favourite subjects – food! He told me yet again about the lovely breakfast he had on Sunday, then he began to tell me about all the people he was with, it made my head hurt. I wasn't sure if he was outlining a sub plot from EastEnders or even detailing a school reading scheme, each generation of family members seemed to begin with the same letter – could this be a real life version of Janet and John? It was all too much for me and I plodded off to bed.

This morning it didn't take long to get into my bad books. I woke him up on time but apparently he fell asleep downstairs and he ended up running late, he then moaned at me for making him late. Just before he left he announced that he was going out for a meal tonight, he claimed I knew that but I didn't, he mentioned a while ago that he was going out with some people from his train but he didn't say when. I think it is really weird, why would you want to go out with people that you travel on the same train with? The only thing they have in common is shared suffering and a deep dislike of Network Rail. Oh well, I expect he will do as he likes, but if he eats anything smelly he can sleep on the sofa!

Communication Problems

Robbie has learned to his cost that one of the things that really makes me cross is being lied to. He still tries it from time to time but he has worked out that it is easier and safer to tell the truth instead of being found out in a stupid lie. Unfortunately Network Rail still insult our intelligence with their stupid statements, don't they understand that each time they deviate from the truth they lose public trust and they are less likely to be believed in future.

Two news stories involving Network Rail made me really irritated over the weekend. The first story was about Stamford Station the station is listed but Network Rail want to reduce the size of the platforms to enable wider freight trains to use the line. They may be able to put forward a very good case for doing that, and they certainly think it is necessary because they have submitted a planning application. In fact their submission to the council talks about the need to get more freight back on the railway and to ease freight congestion on other lines. So why on earth did Rachel Blackman, the spokesperson for Network Rail say “there are no immediate plans to increase the number of freight trains”. It may be strictly true because the work hasn't been done yet so they couldn't increase freight traffic in the immediate future, but do they seriously expect us to believe that they would do all that work if they didn't intend to increase freight traffic. Why can't they just be straight about it?

The other news story was very sad, and Arriva Wales train killed 27 cows after a gate had been left open and they had wandered on to the line in Powys. The Network Rail spokesman made the woefully inadequate comment that “We are not sure how it happened”. I would have thought it was all too obvious how it happened, more to the point would be preventing anything like it from happening again, especially since a large number of cows have been killed previously in a very similar accident. It was a horrible thing to happen, what about expressing concern for the driver, or for the passengers who must have been terribly upset by the carnage and it would have been appropriate to make some comment regretting the loss of the cattle. I know they think if they say nothing they can somehow avoid responsibility, but making ridiculously non committal comments they prove that the public contempt for Network Rail is well deserved.

What a Difference an 'S' Makes!

Robbie had an early start this morning because he is going to Leeds to visit Network Rail and you know what that means – the railway will probably grind to a halt! Every time Robbie goes north disaster strikes and they have points failure or power lines down.

As I began writing I automatically wrote Network Fail instead of Rail, that is how they are filed away in my brain and that is how I think of them, not that I think about them at all unless I am forced to! Anyway it reminded me that I came close to disaster when writing the blog the other day. I always use the spell check, but if you accidentally miss type a word that happens to be a different word the spell check will not highlight the problem. I read what I have written, but as I know what I intended to say I sometimes read what I expect to see instead of what I actually wrote. I had intended to write 'Robbie woke with a start' but just before I added the item to the blog I spotted my mistake, I had written 'Robbie woke with a tart'. That would certainly have set tongues wagging!

A Load of Rubbish

Laura told me that someone from Network Rail came in to her school yesterday to talk about their engineering apprenticeships. Laura is doing maths and science A Levels so she is probably the sort of candidate they would like to attract and I was interested in her reaction. She told me it was a big turn off, as it sounded excruciatingly boring and it didn't lead to a high enough qualification. It certainly didn't sound like an attractive proposition to her and her friends. Young people who have worked hard to achieve good A Level results want to go on to university to get a good degree, yet oddly Network Rail did not provide them with information about their graduate scheme. Laura was also put off by the O2 apprenticeship scheme, she said that it sounded more attractive than the Network Rail option, but the fly in the ointment for her was the requirement to live in Slough and she said that nothing in the world would induce her to do that. She claims not to be very keen on English Literature, but she would probably enjoy John Betjemen's poem about Slough!

Network Rail may be in a class of it's own when it comes to finding the most difficult and inconvenient way to do something but it seems they don't have a monopoly when it comes to potty ideas. Robbie's company seems to be having a moment of madness. They are moving into a new building shortly and the steering group have decided that individual bins will not be permitted and people will have to get up from their desk and walk to a communal bin. I'm not sure why they are called a steering group, if they can't foresee the consequences of their actions I hope I never encounter any of them behind a steering wheel!

The company already recycle, so paper and other recyclable materials are not put in to individual bins, but there is still a need for a bin, without it even a trivial task like removing a staple from document or discarding a broken paperclip would require a journey across the office, or more likely they will end up on the floor and someone else will have to come along and clean up. A bent paperclip could damage a vacuum cleaner or industrial floor machine. Post often creates bits of rubbish, sellotape, packing tape, wrapping from journals and advertising material and other oddments. There should not be a huge amount of rubbish in individual bins, but if each small item reprents a journey and a potentially distraction from the task the person was focussed on, it will prove extremely unproductive. I wonder if they have thought about the problems and unnecessary discomfort this will cause to people with disabilities, there will also be a potential fire hazard if everyone starts collecting their own rubbish in a carrier bag, not to mention the disruption to the office environment if everyone walks to the bin with each item of rubbish.
Of course I am not accusing the steering group of original thought, this is yet another batty government idea. Envirowise provides free government funded advice to companies – most free gifts are really not worth having! Quite honestly I don't think the government could manage their way out of a paper bag, everything they touch seems to turn to disaster, so perhaps they should give up on the 'nanny state' and the micromanagement and get on with sorting out the economy! That would leave the steering group free to use their common sense, surely the staff could have individual bins and empty them into the main bin at the end of each day.

The Blind Leading The Blind

Every time I hear the words Network Rail uttered my blood pressure takes a turn for the worse. When we were on holiday the shameful news of the huge bonuses for top Network Rail managers was announced. They made the staggering claim that they were getting the bonuses because punctuality had improved significantly to over 95%. I was reminded of a quotation in my school maths book 'Statistics are like a lamp post to a drunk man, more a means of support than illumination'. In other words you can use them to support something that will not stand up on it's own!! I rather doubt that commuters in Northampton have enjoyed 95% punctuality, and what about all the weekends when there are engineering possessions, there are no late running trains - because there are no trains at all! I suspect that if punctuality has improved it is in spite of Network Rail rather than because of them, and it probably has more to do with the hard work of the train operators.

This week it was announced that Network rail has awarded a huge 3 year contract to BT to upgrade their communications systems. It doesn't require a crystal ball to foresee disaster! I have had many dealings with BT both as a residential customer and in the course of my work. I think they probably rival Network Rail when it comes to incompetence, delay and poor customer service. In fact last month I was finally able to ditch BT and have my line rental from Sky, they may not be perfect, but at least I am able to speak to a live human being when I need to! As far as the liaison with Network Rail and BT is concerned, I don't hold out much hope. It will be like the blind leading the blind! Network Rail would probably be better off with a few old cans and some lengths of string! After all, if you never listen to anyone else, you don't really need an effective communication system do you?!

The Highs and Lows of Newquay

The Coast around Newquay

It was another early start today, we had to get Laura to Newquay by 9am to catch her train. The train wasn't due to depart until 9.40am but Robbie wanted her there early because he said it would get very busy. It was a very misty morning, so I chose not to take the coast road to Newquay, it is challenging even when visibility is good because it is very narrow in places and there some amazing hills and very tight turns. It is no fun when you meet a bus coming in the other direction! I didn't fancy my chances taking that route with the added complication of thick mist, so we took the other route.

We got to Newquay in good time and I dropped Robbie and Laura at the station. It really doesn't deserve to be called a station, it must be the most depressing place in the South West. I have seen some pretty grim bus stations, but I have never encountered such a miserable excuse for a railway station. It is dark, grimy and unloved, in fact it takes grim to a whole new dimension. If that is the first experience visitors have of Newquay I'm surprised they bother to even get off the train. I have seen photos of Newquay Station in previous days when it was still a proud part of the railway network. Now every hint of it's former glory has been stripped away and it is a pathetic apology for a station, Network Rail should be ashamed. At a time when we want to encourage greater use of public transport in order to reduce our impact on the environment surely the government should be sorting out the rail services to popular holiday destinations, and in the case of Cornwall they need to sort out line speeds too - you could do the journey from Newquay to Par faster on horseback than by train at present!

Sam and I went off to park the car while Robbie stayed with Laura to see her safely on to the train. We didn't spend long in Newquay, but we enjoyed an alfresco breakfast at Subway and then we stocked up on food supplies for the caravan. It had turned into a lovely day in Newquay, but as we drove home we realised that the mist had not cleared around Padstow, it was a warm and pleasant day but the mist clung to the coast all day.

Making Life Difficult

What could be better on a bank holiday morning than getting up at the crack of dawn to drive Robbie to Kettering in the rain just because there are no trains running from Northampton today. Quite a lot of things would be better, actually but I got the short straw, so I drove him to Kettering with Robbie rambling on about diversionary routes and amended train plans. He was extremely eloquent (but unprintable) when detailing the inadequacies of Network Rail. The return journey was nice and I enjoyed the peace and quiet of an empty car!

When I got home there was just time for a cup of tea before I had to take Emily to work. Robbie rang me later in the morning to give me a detailed account of his journey to Birmingham via Derby! It would have been so much easier if he'd taken the bank holiday off, but when did Robbie ever do anything sensible?

I had a call from Robbie to tell me that his planned return journey had fallen apart, I can't remember exactly what the problem was but he had all sorts of contorted plans to get back without travelling by coach. I wasn't impressed and I told him in no uncertain terms that he should just follow his normal route and put up with the coach replacement, and just for once he did as he was told! He didn't get home until 8.30pm, but if he had tried to get home by train I would probably have still been running around at midnight!

Robbie to the Rescue

I always enjoy Friday evenings, the weekend stretches before us and I can look forward to not getting up at the crack of dawn. We had not been home for very long when the phone rang with an SOS for Robbie. My friend Marion was having problems with her router and she needed to borrow Robbie for an hour or two. After our meal I dropped Robbie at her house, which is not far from where we live, that left me free to pop to the supermarket and then to get on with some cooking. I was expecting Robbie to take ages because Marion's computer has proved stubborn in the past. I was wrong, it only took him just over an hour, so when he rang I was in the middle of cooking. I was making cakes for Robbie, as requested. When I collected him he emerged from Marion's house clutching a tin full of cakes! There is something about Robbie that makes people want to feed him, its the only way I know to stop him talking so perhaps it isn't so surprising.

Saturday morning is always a time for random statements from Robbie and this morning was no exception. After we had almost had an argument about the London Mayoral elections, Robbie cuddled up to me and announced that he was missing his contact from Network Rail at Leeds. She is off sick and Robbie said it doesn't feel right not having her at the end of the phone. Oddly enough I hadn't planned to spend my extra hour or so in bed talking about Network Rail, but it seems as if work is never far from Robbie's mind.

We had the usual argument in the supermarket when Robbie repacked the trolley just to prove that he was in control. I put it back how I wanted it and he stomped towards the cat food telling me that I could keep the trolley. I took him at his word but within seconds he was back to take control once more. When we got home again he was doing a lot of clattering around and sighing in the kitchen so I left him to it. I ploughed my way through the ironing, so Sam and Robbie have another weeks supply of ironed shirts - if I had my way men would be banned from wearing shirts!!

Finally I had finished the ironing, sorted out the cat tray and supervised Sam cleaning out his guinea pig. I sat down for a well earned rest while watching I'd Do Anything - did I mention before that Sam had to point out to me the irony of Graham Norton searching for a Nancy! I was enjoying the show when Robbie, who is not the worlds most effective window, stood between me and the screen and began a detailed account of the freezer contents and a convoluted explanation of the way he had reorganised the storage space. He got really cross when I told him to go away and leave me to enjoy the television. He is a control freak when it comes to the fridge and freezer, he even leaves post it notes to tell people what to eat first! I don't know why he bothers because we all do as we like anyway. Why does he have to be so exhausting?

Robbie the Red Head?

Robbie has been a bit challenging recently. In fact he was so challenging yesterday that I asked him if he liked the idea of having red hair – because if he carried on like that I would be seriously tempted to bury an axe in his head! Network Rail has been annoying him again and when they start messing around with his timetables it always makes him like this. I had to ban him from talking about Network Rail in the end because his language was far from moderate. I guess I should have just introduced a swear box, he would have been bankrupt within an hour. It must be very frustrating to have to deal with Network Rail every day, but when he gets home he needs to learn to forget about it. On the subject of frustration, he gets really cross with himself because his legs have been very painful lately and it makes everything just a bit more difficult. I guess my job is to help him to keep everything in perspective.

Having decided against the axe, I was left with only one way to silence Robbie – to feed him! I made him some Rice Crispy Cakes (one of his favourites) because a couple of weeks ago he had mentioned that he would like some. I also made him some rice pudding because he and Sam like it; we don’t usually have a dessert so he needn’t think I’m going to make a habit of making puddings. He was too cross with himself to be appreciative, the rice pudding was too dry and the Rice Crispy cakes didn’t have enough chocolate – when did Robbie become Jamie Oliver! A frank exchange of views became necessary and afterwards he was considerably more appreciative.

This morning he was running late and he got himself into a mega strop. His world stopped because someone had stolen his pants – why would anyone want them! He was just looking in the wrong place, but that put his whole morning routine out and things went from bad to worse, he spilled coffee on his tie, lost his travel mug - and his temper! I gave him a lift to the station to help him to catch up with himself and he gradually calmed down. He admitted that there is another cause to his frustration – his Model Rail magazine has not been delivered on time! It sounds trivial, but to Robbie it really is a big deal, you should hear him going on about it. I got a smile out of him in the end when he admitted that he has found his own way of cheering himself up – he’s going to a diesel gala at the week end. Well, at least he’s predictable!