In Need of an Off Switch!

I love Robbie very much and mostly I like having him working from home, but I have my limits and just occasionally I need a bit of time on my own. I need peace and quiet, time to think and to process my own thoughts without someone talking non stop at the side of me. 

On Wednesday Robbie really seemed to have his talking boots on. During the morning I was trying to focus on several important things that I needed to do, but I couldn't concentrate because Robbie kept talking. He keeps returning to the subject of the Sky box and the possibility of moving to Virgin for our television, internet and phone. I am very reluctant to move and I told him 'loud and clear' that pestering me is not going to make me change my mind. After a few brief moments of quiet he was at it again, and we leapt from one subject to the next without stopping for breath. Much of the conversation was about his work in one way or another, but eventually he settled on the subject of irritating people - and as I listened to him I was mentally adding to my own list of annoying people!!

We had lunch at Morrisons with my mum and step father, it is nice to spend an hour or so with them during the week. We chatted about all sorts of things as we ate, but Robbie was making me feel exhausted because he didn't even stop for breath.  He had returned to the subject of our television and Internet provider his voice seemed louder than usual and he didn't pay any attention to my hints so I had to tell him point blank to stop talking. That worked for a few seconds but then he 'defaulted' to his specialist subject (trains) and off we went again. I wanted to scream at him to shut up but I managed to control the impulse and settled for a withering look instead.

Robbie was aware that I had some shopping to do, but as we finished eating he told me to get a move on because he needed a lift to the station to catch the 13.55 train. The urge to harm him was almost too much for me to resist! He had talked non stop all morning but he had not bothered to share the one piece of relevant information, that he needed a lift to the station just before 2pm. Having had a brief but meaningful exchange of views, we ran around the supermarket to get the absolute essentials and met up again at the till. I was still livid and when Robbie told me that he thought I would have know what time he needed to be at the station, I informed him very firmly that I am not Mystic Meg. The woman in front of us in the queue gave me a knowing smile and let us go in front of her as we only had a few items.

I had to hurry to get him to the station on time and I wasn't taking too much notice of Robbie. Then I realised that he was talking about 'Percy' and I was completely mystified. The only 'Percy' that I know of is the one that gets 'pointed at the porcelain' so when Robbie started talking about 'web Percy' and 'normal Percy' I had no idea what he was on about. I should have left it like that but I was unwise enough to ask what he meant. He told me that PERCY is a computer program that DfT and train operators use to check that they are meeting existing franchise commitments. He gave me more detail and I got the feeling that he could have talked for a lot longer but thankfully we arrived at the station on time and he had to dash off to catch his train. At last I had a few minutes peace! 

Communication Problems

I rarely write about my work, partly because I don't want to cross any boundaries but mostly because it probably wouldn't make very interesting reading. I meet some really nice people in the course of my work, but sadly I meet plenty of the other kind too. I always try to be helpful but is not unusual to get shouted at and called names, you would be surprised how nasty seemingly ordinary people can be about the most trivial things. I have even had to deal with threats of physical harm. So you can imagine my confusion when an Indian gentleman approached me with a broad smile and began to remove all his outer clothing. Hat, scarf, two pairs of gloves, coat, padded waistcoat etc, etc. It wasn't an especially cold day but it seemed that he was dressed for an Arctic expedition. It is rather unusual for customers to remove their clothing, they are not usually with us long enough for that, so despite his smiles I was a little weary of his motives.


Thankfully he stopped disrobing before it became embarrassing, but then I was faced with another problem. He began talking to me and I didn't have a clue what he was saying. He repeated himself several times but I was making no progress at all. I asked him what language he was speaking (thinking I could perhaps find someone else to converse with him) but he informed me that he was speaking English! A very long 20 minutes followed with lots of smiles, nodding and waving of arms but not a lot of progress in terms of communication. He had brought out all sorts of documents from his pockets. He showed me pictures of his wife and children and he taught me how to pronounce their names. He showed me a train ticket indicating that he had been to London the weekend before and a series of mimes suggested that he had visited Madam Tussauds, Buckingham Palace and other landmarks. After 20 minutes, I knew his name and job title from a business card, I knew the names of his wife and children and I knew what he had done with his leisure time in the last week or so but I hadn't got a clue why he had come to see me! 


At that point we were joined by a second smiling Indian gentleman, also dressed for the Arctic. He possessed a few more words of recognisable English and over the next ten minutes the pair told me that they were here for two weeks for a training course, but they both lived in India. They had enjoyed their stay here very much and they wanted to find out as much as possible about our town and how different businesses worked so they had come in to have a look around. The first man had just stopped for a chat and he had showed me the pictures of his family because he missed them very much. They left still smiling and promised to come and see me again next year when they are back in England. It was rather a surreal experience, but it is something I will remember with a warm smile, it was much better than being shouted at!

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

I have been asked that question a number of times in the last few weeks. My birthday was coming up and for some obscure reason people seem to think that it is cause to celebrate. It is a really difficult question to answer, because I really don't want anything. We have far too many 'things' already and there is nothing that I really need and I can't have the things I would really like.


More than anything I would like to be able to turn back time. Not to get rid of the wrinkles or because I am worried about my grey hairs, I don't care that much about either of those things. After all living with Robbie is bound to cause a few grey hairs - OK, I admit to more than a few grey hairs! I would like to turn back time because there are people who aren't here that should be and you can't help wishing that things could be different. Anyway things change, and I have to hang on to the fact that there are important people in my life now, such as my lovely nephews and niece who would be there if I turned back time. I guess the moral is that you have to live in the present and enjoy the people and things in your life now, then at least you carry special memories into the future with you.

I think my best ever birthday present was probably my first pony Geme. He had such a character and there was a very special bond between us for the rest of his life. The bond that develops between a young rider and her pony is very special. It is not the relationship with a dog or other pet because it involves a different level of trust and understanding. It is difficult to explain the closeness between horse and rider, it is not just an emotional bond, it is a physical communication.The rider understands and responds to every movement of the horse and the horse recognises and reacts to the movements and signals of the rider. The partnership depends on a large degree of trust and respect.


The joy of riding and the feeling of being at one with the pony brings a lot of pleasure, the thrill of cantering across a field and the gentler enjoyment of ambling along a lane in tune with the world around you. Horse riding gives you a lot of thinking time, it enables people to process thoughts and mull over problems, riding is good for your soul as well as for your mind and body.


I think my best birthday present as an adult was a video that I was given on my 41st birthday. My husband had borrowed some old cine film from my mum and had it transferred to video. I'd never seen the footage before and when I watched it I was confronted with my younger self laughing, playing and enjoying life. I was a spectator at my own first birthday party and I saw my grandmothers and my dad alive and well doing all the ordinary things that I only half remembered. Watching the video was a very emotional experience, but it was so precious, it was like being given back a little bit of my past. 

Shopping for the Cat

Robbie has his funny little ways. I have written before about him talking to the animals and even attempting to teach the cats to tell the time, but it is becoming silly now. He has taken the Dr Doolittle thing one step further, he now claims to speak for the cats! He really doesn't need to, both cats are quite capable of making their feelings very clear. When Robbie is cross with Oreo he hides under the bath (the cat not Robbie, Robbie wouldn't fit under the bath!) but Dave stands his ground and swears back and if Robbie points at him Dave raises his paw to remind Robbie that what he lacks in teeth he makes up for in claws! Dave is my cat and as far as he is concerned Robbie should know his place. He hates Robbie to sit next to me or to hug me and if Robbie is brave enough to try Dave pushes his way between us and sits there defiantly until Robbie moves away. I accept that Dave can communicate eloquently with Robbie and I understand they both have more than a passing interest in food, but this is going too far. According to Robbie, Dave prefers me to buy his cat food from Tesco (not my usual supermarket), he would prefer it to be in a foil tray rather than in a pouch and he would like more of the fish flavours and less of the meat flavours. Apparently his lack of teeth makes our usual brand of cat food a bit of an effort for him. Really? I find that hard to believe, this is the cat who can steal and eat a whole sausage, he likes nothing better than climbing into the bin to forage for treats and when we bring the shopping home he will rip open anything that takes his fancy if we take our eyes off him for a second. I suspect Dave's sudden interest in supermarket shopping has more to do with Robbie's preferences than the cat's! 

The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back

Marriages, if they are going to work at all have to have an element of give and take. Sometimes if people love each other and they take time to talk things through and really listen to each other it is possible to overcome even the most difficult issues. However everyone has their breaking point and it can be a seemingly minor issue that tips the balance. It has been a bit like that with us recently.

In August Robbie and I had the most amazing holiday, all on our own with no children. It allowed us to really enjoy each other's company, we talked, laughed, enjoyed being close and most importantly we listened to each other. Within the space of a few days we had reviewed and redefined the boundaries of our marriage, in a way which recognised the needs and feelings of each of us. I am not talking about the imposition of a narrow and suffocating set of rules, this was the sort of unity that enables each person to be who they are, while respecting the needs and feelings of the other. When we got back from holiday we were determined to nurture our relationship, by making time to be together and to have fun, even when that means taking a few hours away from the demands of family and household responsibilities. So far we have managed to do that and it has been really good.

So here comes the 'but'. In every relationship there are issues that are guaranteed to cause friction and things that the one partner does that the other is uncomfortable about. I am sure Robbie could provide a long list of things that I do that annoy him, but for me the one thing that bothers me far more than any of the other things is his involvement in the union. I mind for lots of reasons; he has taken on far more than it is reasonable for one person to do and I think he is spreading himself too thin. I don't like the union, I think they talk a lot of nonsense and I think they have changed him in a way that is deeply unattractive. More than anything else I don't like the union taking away our family time, I don't like the way they behave and I think it has led him to make some very poor choices. Of course he would say that I was wrong on every count, but I am judging by actions not just words.

I'd had issues in the past, especially when he went to Dublin earlier in the year, but we had put those behind us, so I didn't have too many concerns about him going on a training course on Thursday. Unfortunately things went down hill from there, he promised that he would ring me in the evening, so after work I looked forward to his call, I didn't want to ring him because I wasn't sure what he would be doing and I didn't want to interrupt. The call didn't come so eventually I took the phone to bed with me and read a book while I was waiting. I must have fallen asleep because I was woken soon after 2am by a text arriving. It was the briefest text informing me that he had been out and was going to bed. I was really hurt, how much effort would it have taken to make a quick phone call at some point during the evening.

The final straw came in the morning when he compounded the problem by not ringing me. When I finally spoke to him he said that he had forgotten about me, poor choice of words perhaps, but that was the final straw - I would never forget about him!! An argument followed and small as this incident was it had tipped the balance for me and I gave him the choice - me or the union. Robbie has always been a slow learner, he chose the union! Lets just say that Friday wasn't a pleasant day for either of us. I walked around the house thinking how much space I would have if I got rid of all his junk and he spent the day telling me that I was totally unreasonable. It was stalemate! Robbie has never understood that when in a hole you should stop digging. He decided to 'light the blue touch paper' by leaving a comment on facebook agreeing that the course was fantastic, I am not sure if it was the comment that annoyed me most or the fact that the woman whose status he was responding to had a rather dubious, near naked profile photo! If I was angry before I was furious after that!

Saturday morning dawned and Robbie's negating style of giving no ground and and insisting that I was totally unreasonable was making matters worse. I will not say how he won me over but if he tried that tactic on anyone else I would kill him!! The result is that he has agreed to give up most of his union work by November and I have agreed to accept him keeping the health and safety stuff. This brings us back to the level of involvement that he had when we got married. He is not entirely forgiven but we are working on it!!

The Last Word

I wonder about Robbie sometimes, he does the strangest things and when I mention it to him he always acts as if whatever he is doing is totally normal. He did exactly that this week when I caught him talking to the cat. I talk to the cat too, but unlike Robbie I don't wait for an answer! On Monday he was standing in the hall saying "hello" to Dave (the cat) and leaving a few moments for the cat to reply before repeating his greeting. After listening to several minutes of this I reminded Robbie that Dave was a cat not a parrot, but Robbie insisted that he always said hello to Dave.

The following day Dave was pestering Robbie because he wanted to be fed. Robbie stopped what he was doing to have a detailed conversation with the cat to explain that it wasn't yet feeding time. I may not have taken any notice of it if he hadn't gone on to explain the position of the big hand and the little hand on the clock that would indicate feeding time. Trying to teach a cat to tell the time really does cross the line from being a little eccentric to being downright odd!

Later this week Dave had misbehaved and Robbie told him in no uncertain terms how displeased he was. Robbie pointed at Dave as he ranted and Dave (who was sitting on the top of the laundry basket) waved his front paw at Robbie and made a menacing noise. I am not sure if Robbie understood what Dave 'said' but I am sure I could make a fair guess at his meaning - a short phrase ending in 'off'!!

The Friday Night Fiasco

Robbie is making himself feel at home in the dog house, after the Friday night fiasco he is likely to be there for the foreseeable future. On Friday morning he set off for an appointment somewhere far away. I can't remember where he said he was going, but I distinctly remember that he didn't say a word about the possibility of being late home. He didn't contact me all day, so at about 5pm I sent him a text. When he had not responded by 6.30pm I phoned him, but he ignored the call. Hours passed, his dinner was put in the dog and I got on with my evening. Eventually he sent a text with the exact time of his arrival at Northampton. I took this as a request for a lift, I sat there waiting for him and he went straight past heading for the bus station. I can't tell you exactly what I said to him, but it caused him to turn back and get a lift. He even insisted on stopping to buy chips at 11pm! To say I was unimpressed doesn't even come close. Out of the last 5 days he has been seriously late home 3 times, even Network Rail can do better than that in terms of punctuality!

Slow Learner

Robbie is having trouble with his knees - no it is not another post about his legs misbehaving, this time the cause is crystal clear - groveling! In the past I have called him a slow learner, I was being generous his behaviour this week suggests rank stupidity. He waited until Thursday morning to ask if he could 'play trains' at the weekend. I am not at my best before 6am so it was stupid to ask me when I was still half asleep. To add insult to injury he then tells me that it will only be a day and I will hardly notice that he isn't there. A little more digging illicited the information that he would leave for work on Friday morning and arrive home late morning on Sunday - since when does Friday to Sunday equal one day? Last night he sat there with a face like a pig's bottom (not that I am over familiar with the nether regions of pigs) and a little black cloud of doom hanging over him. I was so angry with him, this is our last weekend before going on holiday, there is loads of work to do getting things ready and I don't see why I should do all the hard work while he is out having fun. It didn't help that he had his headphones in and spent the evening doing 'train stuff' on the computer. This morning he tried the 'poor pathetic me act' and it made me feel like breaking something - his neck probably! I decided to let him go for his own safety and because I will have a nicer weekend without him, but he needs to watch out, he is going to be a very busy boy next week!!

Only a Man Would ......................

I drove home yesterday evening, swung round and reversed my car onto the drive; a manoeuvre that I have done so often that I could almost do it in my sleep. I was surprised to find that I was at least a foot away from the hedge, someone had widened the drive while I was out! I looked again, Robbie had cut the hedge (at long last) and it made the drive so much wider. It was a relief to get the hedge cut but if he thought that would get him out of the doghouse he was sadly mistaken. Even if he had cut every hedge in the county it would not have been enough, I am absolutely furious with him. He didn't tell me that he was disappearing for almost a week because he knew I wouldn't be happy about it. Only a man would think it was better to let me find out by accident at the last minute, and only Robbie would think that doing a job that he should have done weeks ago was an acceptable apology!

When I say he has cut the hedge, he has cut the side next to the drive and he has cut the top of the hedge on drive side, but the other side of the hedge is in serious need of attention and the way he has cut the top has left it looking very odd, as if it has a Mohican hair style! He could have finished cutting it at the weekend if he'd been at home, but by the time he gets around to it, the top will be so high that it will probably require a scaffolding platform to reach it!

Oh well, he has gone now and I will only see him once between now and Sunday night, that should give me plenty of time to get rid of all his railway magazines and stash all his model trains in the loft. I have a few other things in mind too ...................... but he will have to wait and see!

In the Dark

Words fail me. I am absolutely furious with Robbie. He went out yesterday and he came back with such a bad back that he didn't know what to do with himself, but he insisted on going to work today despite being in agony. I told him that one day of now to deal with the pain may prevent a longer absence later if he tries to keep going and does further damage. I should have saved my breath, I have had more meaningful conversations with with a goldfish!

In the course of conversation this morning he let slip that he was going away tomorrow until Thursday! I was really cross, he should have told me about it well in advance. He promised me that he would do all sorts of outstanding jobs if I let him go out this weekend, I let him go out but none of the jobs got done. So now he will go away tomorrow, turn up late on Thursday, go away again on Friday and not return until Sunday. He needs to watch out or he may find that I can manage without him! Mostly I am cross because he didn't tell me about his plans, I am not a mushroom and I don't appreciate being kept in the dark.

Barriers to Communication

Robbie and I have been having communication problems again. He came to meet me from work and he fell about laughing at my pronunciation of Merry Hill, Robbie insists that the only correct way to say it is to make it rhyme with 'very ill' but I just can't speak like that.

As I was driving home Robbie was chattering on far too fast as usual and I was tuning in an out depending on how much I needed to concentrate on the road. He told me it had been a bad day on the railways because they'd had problems with heart attack spot detectors failing. I was intrigued, I had never heard of this amazing invention and I wondered out loud if it was used for staff or passengers. He gave me a very odd look as if he was about to summon the men in white coats. He asked what I was talking about and then he explained that he hadn't said 'heart attack spot detectors' he had been talking about 'hot axle box detectors'. I was instantly bored, but my confusion was compounded when he went on to tell me that one of his trains had 'sat down' at Burton and it was stuck there until today because another train was off the road and was using the skates – something like that anyway! It didn't make any sense to me, I said that I thought they were supposed to stick to the rails and stay off the road, but Robbie just laughed at me and said that road means rails. I wonder if the doctor can give him some tablets to make him more normal?

Living Dangerously

Robbie has really overstepped the mark this time. He went off on his rail tour on Friday and was due home at tea time on Sunday, I took that to mean 5pm – 6pm. While he was playing trains I was running around doing all those mundane things that you only notice if they don't happen, washing, cleaning, putting away, pet care, food shopping, cooking, filling the car up and picking people up or dropping them off. I know he thinks we have a succession of 'good fairies' to do all that while I sit around watching Judge Judy, but I have news for him, they didn't turn up!!

I had a couple of brief phone calls from him on Saturday, but I was busy and all he could talk about was the rail tour. On Saturday evening I took my mobile and the house phone up to bed thinking that he may ring me to say goodnight – he didn't. He didn't ring in the morning either, I was a bit hurt, but I got on with my work and I was rather distracted because my little nephew had been admitted to hospital with breathing problems. 5pm came and went and there was no word from Robbie, so I began calling and texting with no response. He has two phones so I found it hard to believe that they both had no battery or no signal, but I continued to call al evening with no response. He was coming from Preston, I know it is in the north, but surely it shouldn't take an entire day to get home!

At 10.05pm I got a text asking for a lift, so his phone was working fine when he wanted something!I picked him up at about 10.30pm, he didn't manage more than a couple of words and there was no explanation or apology for not answering my calls. When he got home he went prowling around the house looking for things that hadn't been done, he didn't find any – or at least if he did he had the sense not to mention it! For reasons best known to him he decided to potter around in the kitchen tidying things that were already the way I wanted them. I had moved the furniture in the lounge and everyone agreed that the room worked better that way, Robbie didn't comment on it, but after I had gone to bed he moved it back. Clearly he has a death wish! This morning I put it back to the way I wanted it – two can play at that game!

What Did You Say?

I think there is a conspiracy in our house. The children insist that I am going deaf and they never miss an opportunity to make jokes at my expense. I am not going deaf, I can hear perfectly well if they speak properly, but most of the time they have their music blaring out making it more difficult to hear. It would help if they didn't mumble, sometimes when I hear them talking to their friends I wonder if they speak English at all, it seems like a spoken version of text language and teenage boys seem to converse in a series of monosyllabic grunts. I find Robbie hard to understand partly because he talks constantly about trains and partly because he speaks far too fast and I still find his accent challenging at times because he uses regional words that I have never encountered before.

Our cats are very good communicators, there is just one problem - they lie! This morning they put on an Oscar winning performance to try to convince me that Robbie had not fed them, but I knew that he had and their efforts were wasted.

On the subject of deafness I think it is the children who have trouble hearing – selective deafness. Any instruction, to pick it up, clear it up or switch it off seems to fall on deaf ears.

Communication Skills

The wall to wall US election coverage was impossible to avoid yesterday. I couldn't believe that people had to stand in line for hours just to be able to vote, I thought that sort of thing only happened in third world countries. I am feeling tired this morning because I kept the radio on all night to listen to the Radio 4 coverage of the election results - Robbie was not amused, he buried himself in the duvet and snored loud enough to drown out the radio. I stayed awake long enough to hear about Obama's early victories, I woke several times to hear that the Democrats were heading for victory and when my alarm went off just before 5am (usual time) I was in time to hear Barack Obama's amazing victory speech, and then to John McCain's gracious acknowledgement of defeat. I think even his critics would admit that Obama is a great orator, of course he now has to turn the dreams and promises into action, but it really felt as if we were witnessing something significant. After Bush who is barely literate and seems incapable of stringing a sentence together coherently, it was a joy to listen to Obama. It made me feel a bit envious because we have no hope of inspirational leadership any time soon.

Talking of great communicators brings me on to Robbie. He can manage more words per minute than anyone else I know, but as far as communication is concerned sometimes less is more; I have to keep telling him to talk slowly because I haven't got a clue what he is talking about. He often accuses me of reading his mind (because he doesn't get away with very much!) but this morning he failed to communicate at all, apparently he thought telepathy was sufficient. My alarm went of at the usual time, I woke him at the usual time, he got up as reluctantly as ever and caused the usual clatter when he went downstairs. He brought my cup of tea earlier than usual, I didn't take much notice but I observed that he was well ahead of schedule when he went into the shower. I embarked on my normal routine at my usual time, but I felt that Robbie was rushing me along. Eventually I told him that he was way ahead of schedule, and it was only then that he told me he was aiming to catch an earlier train. Since I play an important part in getting him organised and out of the house on time clearer communication would have been very helpful!

Northern Rail - Don't Know if They Are Coming or Going

My life has been really chaotic this week because of having to take my mum to and from Oxford to visit my step father in hospital, so it was nice to have a quiet few minutes listening to the radio yesterday lunchtime. You and Yours was on Radio 4 and they had a report about Northern Rail and the problems experienced by passengers at Worksop Station. As if putting up with delays and cancellations was not bad enough, the passengers complained that lack of information was adding to their frustration. Station staff at Worksop don't seem to able to get up to date information on delays, but the station Café owner has found a way of keeping customers up to date. The train crew ring ahead with their food orders and at the same time they update him with information on delays etc. Richard Allen the head of communications for Northern Rail was interviewed and to his credit he didn't try to excuse the situation. He explained that investment is needed for the company to replace old equipment at stations, and they also need to review staffing levels. He tried to duck and dive a bit when he was faced with their poor passenger survey statistics but on the whole he gave sensible down to earth answers. If the café system works, maybe the best thing they could do is build on that by making a more formal arrangement for train crew to phone ahead.

Communication Skills

Robbie and Sam both have a tendency to provide too much information. Sam restricts his enthusiasm to his favourite subjects, but Robbie will talk at length about absolutely anything and I often have to tell him to stop talking because it makes me totally exhausted. Interestingly both Sam and Robbie are less good at communicating essential information that they really need to share. Robbie has been in the dog house countless times for failing to tell me he would be late, and Sam tends to announce at the last minute that he has to have a certain item for school the following day – thank goodness for 24hr Tesco!

Sam walks home from school with his friend Ollie and one day last week they were extremely late and I was very anxious. Sam's phone was turned off – he has an infuriating habit of keeping it turned off unless he needs to use it, he says it preserves the battery! I had no idea where he was or why he was late and I was starting to panic. He finally appeared looking dishevelled and muddy and I thought for a moment he had been in a fight. He explained that he and Ollie had found a lost dog at the edge of the park, they had read the tag on it's collar and rang the number, it was an answering service and they had to get in touch with the owner and then the owner had to come out to fetch the dog. The boys stayed with the dog and played with it until the owner arrived. The lady was very grateful to get the dog back because he had been missing all day. The next day she rang the school to compliment the boys on their thoughtful and helpful behaviour.

I was really proud of Sam for being responsible enough to take care of the dog, I just wish he had remembered to let me know that he had been delayed so that I wasn't worried.

Body Language

Our dog Meg is a great communicator. If she knows that she is in trouble she walks along with her tail tucked under her chin and her body close to the ground, and if she has to walk past me she will do a wide circle, we never hit her so it must be instinctive behaviour. When she wants something she makes absolutely sure you know about it, she becomes very fussy and affectionate and she keeps walking backwards and forwards and looking at the thing she wants (back door, food cupboard, water bowl, lead etc) until her slow but loveable humans finally get the idea! Robbie is much less subtle, when he wants something he 'creeps' shamefully. I am almost sure that the phone rings differently when he wants something because I can tell instantly, even the little silence before he speaks is different.

Yesterday I got one of those phone calls, he was a bit too loving, there were far too many compliments and he found it even more difficult than usual to get to the point, so I cut through the flattery with a simple “What do you want?” This brought on a bout of stuttering from Robbie, then a painfully drawn out explanation that he had been offered a ticket for Tyseley Open Day in Birmingham, and he would very much like to go. I was a bit disappointed because he was out all last weekend and he has other trips planned so I was hoping for a nice ordinary weekend. He obviously wanted to go because he offered to take me with him – no chance! A railway yard open day is not my sort of thing because it will be attended by the 'socks and sandals brigade' and to be brutally honest that many peculiar people in one place is a bit hard to take! The venue also puts me off, I don't like going to Birmingham, it is too chaotic and it makes me feel despondent. When we are heading to Birmingham on the train I give up hope soon after we pass Rugby, everything starts to look grim and unloved and a close encounter with Birmingham New Street Station is enough to ruin anyone's day!

I told Robbie he could go, he would have only talked about it all weekend anyway, so he may as well go. I will find something to keep me busy on Saturday and when he gets back he will find a list of jobs to keep him out of trouble on Sunday!

The Blind Leading The Blind

Every time I hear the words Network Rail uttered my blood pressure takes a turn for the worse. When we were on holiday the shameful news of the huge bonuses for top Network Rail managers was announced. They made the staggering claim that they were getting the bonuses because punctuality had improved significantly to over 95%. I was reminded of a quotation in my school maths book 'Statistics are like a lamp post to a drunk man, more a means of support than illumination'. In other words you can use them to support something that will not stand up on it's own!! I rather doubt that commuters in Northampton have enjoyed 95% punctuality, and what about all the weekends when there are engineering possessions, there are no late running trains - because there are no trains at all! I suspect that if punctuality has improved it is in spite of Network Rail rather than because of them, and it probably has more to do with the hard work of the train operators.

This week it was announced that Network rail has awarded a huge 3 year contract to BT to upgrade their communications systems. It doesn't require a crystal ball to foresee disaster! I have had many dealings with BT both as a residential customer and in the course of my work. I think they probably rival Network Rail when it comes to incompetence, delay and poor customer service. In fact last month I was finally able to ditch BT and have my line rental from Sky, they may not be perfect, but at least I am able to speak to a live human being when I need to! As far as the liaison with Network Rail and BT is concerned, I don't hold out much hope. It will be like the blind leading the blind! Network Rail would probably be better off with a few old cans and some lengths of string! After all, if you never listen to anyone else, you don't really need an effective communication system do you?!