Pushing the Boundaries of Time

Well, last week was quite a week! Robbie announced his new venture to the world and after spending a couple of days earlier in the week 'getting all his ducks in a row' concerning the admin side of his company he is now hard at work. It was nice having him at home for a week or two, but it is good to get back to something like a normal routine.

Unfortunately 'normal' involves some very early starts. Getting up at 4.30am on a dark and dismal October morning is a bit of an effort, but once I'm up I'm okay. Getting up is the easy bit, getting Robbie out and to the station on time is more of a challenge. He always plans well and has everything prepared the night before, but in the morning there is always a frantic few minutes with Robbie trotting around on 'fast forward' dressed only in socks in the style of Benny Hill. Then having tested my stress levels almost beyond endurance he is suited and booted and ready to go.
   
It is one of those unfathomable things about men is that they consistently over estimate length except when it comes to journey comes to journey times - then they think they can achieve the impossible! Robbie seems to forget that I drive a Ford Galaxy not a time machine. He is so precise when it comes to train planning, so why can't he cope with allowing enough time for a car journey. His habit of providing time checks during the journey does nothing to ease my stress levels, I don't know why he does it but it doesn't get him there any quicker!

'The Other Woman'

Last Wednesday Robbie announced on facebook that he was undertaking a very long journey just to spend some time with 'the other woman'.

"05:42 x NMP - TAM/06:39 TAM - DBY/07:13 DBY - DAR/09:30 DAR - MBR/10:38 MBR - GMT - just to spend some time with 'the other woman' lol :D"

I was anxious, not because I was jealous of his 'other woman' - I have always known that I couldn't compete with her for his attention, she is rather awesome to say the least. I was anxious because his legs and back were not so good, and I was scared that he would not cope with a long day 'playing trains'. I think he was a bit worried too, but he is determined not to let his spina bifida stop him doing 'normal' things - and what could be more normal than spending the day with the object of your affection. I was right to be anxious, but I couldn't have foreseen that he would manage to injure himself before he had even left Northampton Station! They put some (allegedly) non slip strips on the stairs to the over bridge not so long ago and they have proved very challenging for passengers, they caused me to stumble a few weeks ago. Unfortunately Robbie fell twice as he was crossing the over bridge he cut his hand badly and acquired a selection of bumps and bruises. If they don't do something about those steps there is going to be a serious accident.

Despite his 'war wounds' Robbie had a nice but very tiring day in the 'deep north' with his first love. I would usually object to him calling a train female, but Royal Scots Grey is powerful, reliable, beautiful and simply the best - so 'she' must be female! 

Autism is like an iceberg some signs are visible but more are hidden below the surface

A telephone call on Friday afternoon left me in tears, but that is the end of the story, I need to start from the beginning. At 6am on Friday morning Robbie had left for work and I was standing in the kitchen ironing shirts and feeling very apprehensive. Two members of my family had important meetings that day and there was not a thing I could do to help either of them except to iron shirts for my son in the hope that looking neat and tidy would help him to make a good impression.

I have spent my life worrying about him, trying to keep him safe and generally trying to do my best for him, he may be 17 and almost grown up but I still worry and I still do my best to support him. Life is often challenging for people with Asperger's Syndrome or Autism but it can also be mentally exhausting for those who love them. I don't usually write about my son's Asperger's Syndrome because he tries so hard to be just like everyone else. He doesn't want to be labelled, he just wants to be accepted as himself, but in order to achieve that he has had to work hard to understand other people and to understand himself. It has been an up hill struggle, but I am so proud of him because he never gives up, even when things go wrong he keeps on trying.


He had applied for an important role within his school and on Friday he had to attend interviews as pat of the the selection process. We all feel anxious about interviews, but for my son facing people he didn't know, managing to maintain eye contact, to answer questions and (most important of all) to know when to stop talking was a really big challenge for him. I felt apprehensive all morning, and it was a relief to get a text from him saying that the interviews had gone well. He told me that he would know the outcome by the end of the school day, so he still had an anxious wait. I wished him luck and reminded him that whatever the outcome, it is all good experience.


I can't believe the change in him since he moved to that school. They have helped him to believe in himself, to believe that he can do things and to dare to aim high. His old school had high academic standards and he did well there, but I never felt that they cared about him as an individual. His new school had a different outlook and he has thrived.


I watched the clock, 3.15pm came and went and I convinced myself that it must be bad news. Then at almost 4pm my son rang to say that he had been selected as a vice president of his school for the next academic year (boys are not allowed to stand for president because it is a girls school). I was just on my way out to the supermarket when I took the call, I was so please for him and so proud of him, that I sat in the car with tears running down my cheeks. It has done him the world of good going to that school.

Normal Service Will Be Resumed

It will not surprise those who know me that Robbie and I do not always agree. We are quite capable of arguing about everything from politics to pet care, but when you get beyond the bickering our views are not significantly different. It is just that Robbie is less willing to be outspoken than I am -yes really! I can tolerate people spouting drivel as long as I don't have to listen. I can accept their right to believe passionately in the most ridiculous things, but if they try to impose their batty beliefs on me they will get their answer loud and clear - even the Jehovah's Witnesses have blacklisted our house! The thing that really gets me wound up is when one group gets so forceful about asserting their rights that their actions have a devastating effect on others, including those more vulnerable and less able to assert their 'rights'.


That brings me on to a name which has fast become a swear word among many of it's customers - London Midland. If you type the words 'London Midland chaos' or 'London Midland Disruption', you will find countless examples of delayed or cancelled services and services that terminated before their expected destination. Their name has become synonimous with disruption, chaos and unreliability. The the drivers dispute which has been causing havock for passengers is supposedly at an end. There have been various promises about normal service being resumed from yesterday. It is that little word 'normal' that bothers me because 'normal' for London Midland is not a good customer experience. Yesterday Robbie's journey to work was one of the worst yet. I would be much more reassured if they said that they would be running the full timetabled service, on time and with working toilets. Come to think of it I wouldn't believe them even if they said that!!


Like so many others Robbie has has had a terrible time trying to get to and from work.  Often it took three times as long as it should and it required considerable ingenuity to get there or to get home again. It was exhausting and extremely worrying. I understand that the drivers have issues, of course they want to be paid well for what they do. I am not anti union (but I am deeply unimpressed by the way some unions behave) and I understand that this problem is not all one sided, the company should have sorted this out long ago. In fact the faceless bods at DFT who make totally batty decisions about franchise allocation should have foreseen the problems of harmonising the pay and conditions of workers who joined the new franchise from two different companies. It is simply not good enough to treat passengers so badly.  


Needless to say the chaos has generated a lot of frustration and there has been plenty of heated discussion on facebook. I was pleasantly surprised to find that even some fellow railway employees did not support the recent action. One person wrote (not a direct quote as it was necessary to tone down the language) They need to get their heads banged together. For too long the insulated world of train crew have been taking advantage of at the people who employ them as well the poor passengers stood on platforms waiting for a non-running service. A fortnight working hard in a different job would be enough to make them appreciate just how fortunate they really are.


It seems the drivers have got their deal, but at what cost. What about the people who have had to drive to work or to university because the train service is so unreliable, what about the countless people who lost pay because their train was cancelled or terminated short. Did the drivers give a thought to the people who were terrified of losing their job because they just couldn't get to work on time. I wonder if they cared that the passengers that they messed about so badly will get no meaningful compensation. It is great for the drivers that they have got what they wanted, but at what cost? 

Undivided Attention

Robbie had promised to give me his undivided attention this weekend to make up for abandoning me last weekend (as well as other sundry failings). I understand that he is struggling with pain in his legs and back so he is not on top form, but you will never guess how he entertained me on Friday evening - he sat at his computer and read out the forum conversations on wnxx!! It was not exactly the kind of attention I had in mind, but it made me realise that some people really need to get out more, in fact they make Robbie seem relatively normal! However Robbie let himself down when he too a break from the toe curlingly boring drivel on the wnxx forum he treated me to a detailed analysis of the cost and specification of pack-a-macs! What in the world made him think I needed to know that. He has been warned that if he ever buys a pack-a-mac I will take steps to get him sectioned!!

Trouble Afoot

I can't put it off any longer, I have to give serious consideration to buying Christmas presents. The girls are sorted now and most of the presents for the wider family have been bought, my main problems are Robbie and Sam. I made a big mistake in planning, Sam's birthday is on 20th December so that adds to my present buying problems, I have a few ideas but I am still not sure what he would like. Robbie knows exactly what he wants, but the thought terrifies me - he wants red tartan Dr Marten boots. What a vision, he would look like an ageing Bay City Roller! When I made it clear that there is no way that I am going to buy them, he suggested an alternative, Dr Martens with Union Jack toe caps - no way!! Why can't he just be normal?

Completely Normal! 02.07.07

Robbie (as you may have noticed) can be a bit irritating at times. He has to do things his way and if I deviate from the plan (which only exists in his head) he becomes completely irrational and I always end up having to do it his way just to shut him up. It can be very simple things like how I set the plates out when I am dishing up our evening meal or how I load the trolley when we are shopping, I could go on ....and on, but I'm sure you get the idea. About once a week Robbie gives his "no, I'm not autistic" speech this always ends with him telling me that he is incredibly 'normal' compared to everyone else in the rail industry. Incredible as that sounds I haven't yet met anyone who has disproved his theory!

At the weekend the rain was responsible for a full scale tantrum from Robbie. I took him to Tesco's in the rain and when I turned the engine off the wipers were in the out position rather than tidily in the off position. He couldn't cope, he demanded that I turned the car back on so that I could put the wipers straight. When I refused he ranted, folded his arms, stuck out his lower lip like a sulky child and finally stomped off into the shop still muttering that it was simply wrong!

The rain has quite a lot to answer for, Robbie has decided that he would look good in a raincoat or to be blunt about it - a flasher mac. He even sent me the link to it on the M&S website and he was devastated when I burst out laughing and told him he couldn't possibly wear that! Poor old Robbie, he will have to be disappointed because there is no way that I am going to let him wear that!