“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Orson Welles

My son persuaded me that he absolutely had to have new clothes ready for the start of term. He is in the final year of sixth form so he doesn't have to wear uniform and he doesn't seem to have grown since the end of last term but it seems that he can't possibly cope with the clothes that he already has. So one day last week I had the joy of a shopping trip to Topman and several of his other favourite shops.

He wanted a pair if chinos, really I would have liked to just give him the money and just send him shopping on his own, but he had asked me to go with him and it is unusual for him to want us to do things together, so it was important for me to go with him. Every pair of trousers that we looked at seemed to be designed for Stretch Armstrong. Wearing them would certainly be a shape changing (and probably life changing) experience! The legs were impossibly narrow but the bottom was loose so that they give the wearer a strange bow legged look as if they have lost their horse or have had an unfortunate accident. My son assured me that they are meant to look like that, and just to be sure that I got the message he told me that old people don't understand fashion! It is so nice to have teenagers around to make me feel good about myself!!

He chose a pair of 'Stretch Armstrong' trousers with turn ups in a contrasting colour - and he dares to say that Robbie's fashion sense is weird! He then spotted another pair of trousers on the sale rail, they were the same sort of style but without the contrasting turn ups. That was the sum total of our purchases from Topman, but we still had more to buy. He chose a pair of long shorts, a patterned jumper, a pack of socks including a green pair with ducks on and one or two other bits and bobs. He was very happy with his purchases and to be fair the clothes looked better on than off, but I can't help thinking that there was a lot of truth in the words of Oscar Wilde

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months" - Oscar Wilde

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different be dressing exactly alike.

The son who must remain nameless has been at home since finishing his GCSE's in early June and before that he had exam leave  so it feels as if he has been 'at leisure' for a very long time. He started sixth form at his new school on Tuesday so on Monday he and I had a shopping day to get an extra pair of shoes and some more trousers for school. It was really nice to spend some time together, usually I am just the taxi!


I am not a natural shopper, in fact I go to town so rarely that I find that a number of the shops have changed since I was last there. So I was not fully prepared for the joys of Topman and River Island. Why do they have to be upstairs? Clearly 'the nameless one' gets his love of clothes and clothes shops from his dad. I was fairly calm when he showed the carrot cut chinos that he wanted, they were in a colour that I am more used to seeing in the cat tray on a very bad day but I don't have to be seen out in them so I gave in without a fight.


Next we looked at 'boat shoes' apparently they are retro, they would certainly not have looked out of place in the old men's section at Marks and Spencer. His heart was set on a pair that were navy blue and brown and eventually he found a pair to fit. That was the easy bit, the price was a bit hard to take, but if that is what he chose to spend his shoe allowance on he will have to wait a while for the next pair.

He also needed what he described as a pair of short joggers for sport. Apparently he had seen a pair that were just right and he wanted me see them. After trailing around the entire store he finally found the desired garment and my composure became a distant memory. They were in a dirty off white colour in a loose almost baggy fitting with cuffs around the knee. I couldn't possibly let him be seen out in public in something like that, I have seen a similar garment in the past but it was worn by an elderly man at a care home who needed extra room for a nappy! The price was the deciding factor, this was one desire that he would not become reality. We went to a sports shop and found some (slightly) more normal sports shorts. We went into several other shops so that he could show me all the items on his wish list so by the time we drove home my feet were killing me. I have seen some sights in my life, but those joggers were certainly 'memorable' for all the wrong reasons! 

On Target

In a way I had been dreading Thursday morning, what if the unthinkable happened, what would I do then? The problem was that I was not in control, I had done my best or at least I thought I had, but this wasn't about me. All I could do was get on with my morning and wait for the phone to ring. 


At last the phone took pity on me and rang. A rather cheerful voice at the other end informed me that he had passed. He had some very pleasing results and most important of all he had got more than enough to get into the sixth form of his choice. After a huge sigh of relief, I was the proud mum full of congratulations and cross with myself for my moments of doubt.


So why was I so anxious, I don't recall being this nervous when his sisters got their results. He is every bit as bright and able as his sisters, but perhaps not as diligent. The girls were able to continue to the sixth form at the same school, but 'the son who must remain nameless' wanted to change schools. We all agreed that it would be the best option for him, and he had been offered a place at the better school (the one his sisters attended) but he needed at least 8 good GCSE grades in order to take up his place. Perhaps it isn't so surprising that I was anxious, so much depended on his results.


Today I took 'the nameless one' to the new school for a meeting to sort out his timetable and do all the necessary  paperwork before starting school a week on Tuesday. He will be one of only a handful of boys at an all girls school, but I am certain it is the right place for him. It is not always easy for him to cope with ordinary things because of his Asperger Syndrome, but the next couple of years will be very important not just in achieving good A level results but in helping him to become independent enough to thrive at university. 

Wearing The Happy Hat

My son has decided that he no longer wants to be named on the blog. As a blogger himself he understands that this will be rather challenging for me, so he has given me permission to write about him (as long as it is not too embarrassing) but he does not want me to post photos of him. So the question is do I give him an alias or should I just refer to him as my son. So far that question is unresolved and for now he remains nameless. My dilemma reminded me of when he was about 8 and going through his spy phase. He decided to change his name to Flash, his teacher was most annoyed when he changed his name on all his exercise books!! That seems like a lifetime ago now.


So back to the present, he has his GCSEs looming in front of him and the difficult question of finding a suitable place for Sixth Form. The school he is at is very good in terms of the results it achieves and there are some very good teachers but it is very rigid and oppressive. I want him to do well beyond Sixth Form and that involves becoming more self reliant and taking responsibility for his own learning. He also felt that he needed a different learning environment for Sixth Form and he was very keen to go to the school that his sisters attended. There was just one problem, they only take up to 20 external students for post 16 education and everyone wants to go there.


Having attended the open evening and chatted to the teachers about the courses available he was more keen than ever and he eagerly filled in his application form. After that there was a long and anxious wait, then when we had almost given up hope there was a telephone message inviting him for an interview, he was so excited. The interview went well and on Friday the long awaited letter arrived, he has a firm offer of a place. He will be one of only a handful of boys at a girls school! He had a huge grin on his face and he sat in the lounge with his hat on (the hat is similar to the type worn by Olly Murs). I asked why the hat had put in an appearance after an absence of several weeks and he said that it is his happy hat. He took it off and allowed me a brief glimpse inside. Inside he has tucked several photos and notes into the lining band. He carries his most precious memories with him - in his hat! He has always had a unique approach to life. 


I like the idea of a happy hat, if I thought it would work I would make one for Robbie, but maybe Robbie wasn't built for hats! 


Photo by t-florie

'Essentials' 31.08.07

There is not much time left before the school term starts, Sam and Laura go back on Wednesday next week so we need to get organised. I bought Sam's new school trousers, shirts and other essentials online when M&S had a 3 for 2 offer. Now I have the ominous task of sewing all the name tags into the new garments, it is an essential task as Sam is even worse than Robbie at losing his belongings! I bought the stain resistant, allegedly easy care garments but by day two I guarantee that he will look as if his style consultant was a graduate of St Trinians!

Today we are going to tackle a very sensitive issue - Sam's hair! Several months ago he gave up on the excessively gelled look, something I had been longing for but I didn't bargain for what came next. He now aspires to an Emo look (whatever that is). From what I can tell it is an uncut, unwashed, uninspiring style that due to his very thick hair makes him look like a lego man. On his last couple of trips to the hairdressers he has resisted having anything meaningful cut off his hair, so today he is going to my hairdressers to have something 'more significant' done to his hair. Hopefully we can reach a compromise and we will both be satisfied with the outcome, but I am determined that it will look as if it has been cut.

In theory Laura shouldn't need school clothes as they wear whatever they like in sixth form, but Laura is a shrewd operator and she has convinced me that despite having more clothes than the queen and more shoes than Imelda Marcos, she needs different clothes, a new coat and believe it or not, more shoes. When we were at Milton Keynes I bought both girls a new winter coat, after considerable debate and visiting ever shop known to man we settled on, warm coats that are versatile enough to wear with smart clothes or with jeans. I also bought Laura some shoes and a top last week so I think we will leave it at that and see what she really needs when she has done a few weeks at school. In the meantime we have to get a new schoolbag for Sam and a handbag for Laura, it seems that Robbie's passion for bags is contagious!

Earlier this week we bought all the 'essential' stationary and sundry items for school. I can't understand how they appeared to have everything they needed in the last few weeks of term, but suddenly they absolutely have to have a whole mass of essential items in order to succeed at school. Am I the only parent who feels I am being mugged by slick marketing regarding the return to school? Anyway, when the school stuff is sorted out I need to focus my attention on all the things Emily will need for university. She is taking the catered option for the first year, but she will still need lots of things and it is difficult to come up with a sensible list. Any suggestions?

Parenting 09.02.07

I realised long ago that parenting is at best a rather hit and miss affair, and if you have teenage daughters you are doomed to feel totally inadequate. Laura's sixth form information evening on Wednesday was particularly frustrating. Laura is well motivated, determined and she always knows her own mind, so it is hardly surprising that she already knows the A Levels that she wants to do, Chemistry, Physics, Maths and Geography. All we had to do was turn up, listen to a presentation about Sixth Form and go to presentations about course content for her chosen subjects.

You wouldn't think that was too difficult, but you would be wrong. First you get the "What are you wearing mum?" and the disapproving looks that go with whatever choice you make. Then there are the instructions given in the car, "Don't ask any questions, don't talk to anyone, don't look at me and don't embarrass me". I wonder how I struggled through life before Laura was around to keep me in line!! During the evening whatever I did seemed to be wrong, any suggestion or comment was taken as criticism and provoked a very prickly reaction from Laura. I could more or less cope with all that, but what really bugs me is Robbie's part in all this. He is very good and always makes sure he gets home in time for parent's evenings. He never gets lectured about what to wear, not even when he has a distinctly dubious tie. He gets away with talking to people, asking questions and generally being 'visible', He never gets accused of being critical or of embarrassing Laura!! I think Laura likes to show him off to all her friends, they all think he is really cool. I am mystified! I suppose he is quite different compared to most of the dads, after all he is quite different compared to most people, but I am not sure the world could cope with too many Robbies! He did push things a little to far on Wednesday when he rather smugly tried to give me advice on parenting. He remained unharmed - but only because I was driving at the time!

Industrial Injury? 09.01.07

Robbie came home in a foul mood today. He got so wound up that I learned a couple of 'new words' when he was telling me what had annoyed him so much. I think the term incandescent with rage more or less sums it up! What was the cause of his fury? It was an organisation that regularly has me on my soapbox -the most recent episode was on Monday when I was reading the latest copy of Rail. It isn't really hard to guess - it's Network Rail!!

Every time the I hear the name Network Rail I can feel my blood pressure going through the roof and Robbie's blood pressure must have been stratospheric this evening! I wonder if it could be classed as an industrial injury?! At least I only have to share the same planet with them - and that's challenging enough when they talk such rubbish, but Robbie has to deal with them every day! It is enough to drive him mad.

At least he had plenty to distract him this evening. He went to a Sixth Form open evening with Laura. She wanted to see what the facilities were like at our local boy's school, but she had no real intention of moving from her own school which in my opinion offers a better package and will equip her better for university. She wanted to take Robbie with her rather than me because her friends like him, his accent makes them laugh and they think he is really cool.