Take a deep breath and count to ten!

The title of this post sums up the the advice that I follow when Robbie is being irritating - a lot of deep breathing goes on in our house! This morning Robbie and I decided that the time has come to buy a new mattress and it is probably about time we had a new duvet and some new bedding as well. It will take a day or two to decide on the best mattress for us, but Robbie wanted to go and choose the duvet and the new bedding this afternoon. So when we had done all the routine jobs that couldn't be ignored, we set off to buy new bedding.

The first problem that we encountered was choosing the duvet. It wasn't as simple as just choosing a king size one, Robbie had to read and compare the information about each type of duvet. He decided on the 'bounce back' duvet - I wonder if that means that it will pick itself up off the floor and bounce back into place when it slips off the bed! 

Having chosen the duvet we then turned our attention to duvet covers and that was the way the trouble began. Robbie wanted designs with huge flowers all over them, but I don't 'do' flowers, I wanted a more simple design, stripes or a pattern but not flowers. Robbie moved from one hideous floral design to another and when his powers of persuasion failed he tried insults instead. Apparently I have no taste and I am stuck in the '80s - probably true on both counts, but all the insults in the world would not tempt me to buy a duvet cover covered in flowers.

Eventually he gave up on the flowers and decided that he wanted a duvet cover with embroidered butterflies - no way! More 'negotiations' followed and he gave up on the butterflies in favour of a duvet cover with pictures of buildings on it. Is it too much to ask to want a nice simple duvet cover that will not offend the eye? I used my veto on the buildings and directed his attention to a couple of other designs that I though he would like, they were not exactly my choice but if he liked them I could tolerated them. After in depth negotiations we settled on a design in the style of Cath Kidston, it was a bit fussy for my liking but at least it will not shout at me every time I walk into the bedroom.

I thought we were almost done but choosing a new bath mat proved almost as difficult as choosing a duvet cover!    

Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober - 1 Thessalonians 5:6 King James Version

Robbie wanted to go out on Friday evening, I wasn't keen because he'd had a very challenging week and I knew that he was very tired and struggling to cope with pain from his back and legs. However it was the anniversary of his friend's death and he needed to meet with other friends to remember better times. I begged him not to be too late home because I was tired too and I didn't want to be too late to bed.

We had spoken on the phone before he went out and I kept my mobile close to me hoping that he would remember his promise not to be too late. It remained silent all evening so I sent him a text to say that I was going to bed and he should ring me when he needed a lift. I sat in bed listening to the radio and doing some writing on my netbook, trying to stay awake. He finally rang to say that he needed picking up at midnight and I asked him to ring me again when he got to Rugby just to make sure that I hadn't dozed off. Time marched on and no call came, so I set off for the station, I thought Robbie had just forgotten ring. 

When I got to the station I began to worry that Robbie may have fallen asleep, so I rang him several times and sent texts for him to contact me, but there was no reply. A stream of people wandered wearily around to the car park indicating that Robbie's train was in, I looked and looked but there was no Robbie. After a brief flurry of activity the car park was still and silent again and I was still there waiting. Time passed very slowly but eventually a few more weary travellers came into view, another train had arrived, but after a brief moment of hope my heart sank, there was no sign of Robbie. By this time I was seriously worried, my mind raced, perhaps he'd had a bad fall, perhaps he had even fallen under a train ........... Finally the truth became clear, a rather confused text from Robbie revealed that he had fallen asleep on the train and ended up in Buckinghamshire. A phone call followed and a rather unhappy Robbie admitted that it would be a long wait for him to make his way back. I wasn't best pleased, but at least he was safe, so I couldn't be too angry. We finally got home at about 2am - not the best start to a weekend! 

Living Dangerously

I often go to bed before Robbie, partly because I need my sleep and partly because I prefer to listen to the radio rather than watch some of the scary stuff that he likes to watch on television. This works quite well for both of us but there is just one problem - Robbie! He doesn't understand the meaning of the word quiet and he always manages to wake me up when he comes to bed. He then falls asleep as soon as head hits the pillow leaving me wide awake unable to get back to sleep and fighting to hang on to the duvet.

On Monday night he decided to take things a step further. He wasn't quite ready for bed but he decided to come upstairs for a chat. He wasn't put off when he found that I was asleep, he just kept asking if I was awake until I woke up. So what was so important that he needed to wake me up at 1.30am? It certainly wasn't something that could be classed as an emergency even in 'Robbie world'. He wanted to inform me that the cat was suffering from flatulence! I told him loud and clear to 'go away' but I wasn't going to escape that easily. He went into great detail about the exact nature of the smell, then he started rambling on about possibly changing the cat's diet. By then I was ready to harm him and he made a hasty retreat.

The next day I asked him why he woke me up and he said he didn't think I was deeply asleep because I wasn't snoring - I give up!!

“You’d better tell His Majesty that many people nowadays like marmalade instead.” A A Milne

Sunday mornings are special, but this week I was not best pleased with Robbie when I woke up on Sunday morning because he had woken me up at 3am when he came to bed. Does he seriously think that I want to chat at that time in the morning? He always knows how to get around me, very sensibly he didn't try to make excuses he just apologised and then plodded off to make me a cup of tea. 

When he came back to bed he cuddled up next to me, looked me in the eyes and said that he had something to tell me. I wondered what he could possibly want to say, he looked very serious, then he announced that he had run out of marmalade! I told him that this wasn't the moment to be talking about marmalade, but he just gave me that lost little boy look that he does so well. Then he snuggled up closer and told me to make sure that I choose thick cut Golden Shred when I buy his next pot of marmalade. Sometimes words fail me!


The title for this post comes from the poem The King's  Breakfast by A A Milne.

"The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork" - Oscar Wilde

Robbie had undercarriage problems at the end of last week. On Thursday I bought him a Lego City police van set with the police dog and the police man minifigure. He sat down at the table to build it with a big smile on his face, but after a few minutes he announced that his undercarriage was missing. We checked but there was no sign of it in the box, all the other bits were there, but they were useless with the vital part missing. So Friday saw back at the shop in search of the missing part, the things I do to put a smile on his face! He was delighted when he got home and the part was waiting for him on the table. He built the police van, equipped the minifigure with an impossibly large pair of handcuffs and then called me over to admire his work - he even set the scene by creating a range of police dog noises! Okay, I  know he is a bit weird, but it is a harmless pass time, there are plenty of worse things that he could be doing. Anyway seeing him smile makes me happy too.


This morning he cuddled up to me in bed and somehow got on to the subject of one of his odd little obsessions. We have two different sets of cutlery, but Robbie will only use a three pronged fork while my son insists on only using a four pronged fork. They are as bad as each other, but both try to convince me that the other is much worse when it comes to weird obsessions! Robbie warmed to his theme and went on to tell me about the perfect dimensions of a tea spoon. Apparently there has been a serious upset at work, his personal tea spoon which was perfect in every way has been stolen! According to Robbie it is irreplaceable - but that will not stop him trying, he intends to scour ebay in search of a replacement! I scored a minor triumph, I managed to distract him before he got on to the subject of knives! I'm sure I haven't heard the last of his very specific cutlery requirements, but there is only so much that I can cope with in one day.  

I am best viewed from a distance - Jenny Eclair

For the latter part of this week Robbie has been best viewed from a distance, and to be quite honest the greater the distance the better as far as I was concerned. I didn't see him until after I finished work on Wednesday evening. He approached the car with a big smile and as soon as got into the car he leant across to kiss me and he quite literally took my breath away - he stank! When I eventually recovered the power of speech I asked what he'd been eating? He gave a little shrug and said "nothing". I knew that wasn't true, the day that Robbie doesn't eat anything will be the day that he requires an ambulance!


It was a very difficult journey, the car stank and I was scared to breathe. I needed to get home as quickly as possible in order to escape from Robbie's breath, but I resisted the temptation to exceed the speed limit! He gave me one of his sheepish 'little boy' smiles and admitted that he had been out for lunch with his friends. He said that he'd had some rather nice sweet potato soup. Sweet? His breath was anything but sweet, he could have stripped paint with his breath! I kept my distance for the rest of the evening, but the pong seemed to take over the house so I retreated to the relative safety of the bedroom. I was asleep before he came to bed but too my horror his breath was just as bad the next morning!


His breath had improved a bit by the evening (but it was still a work in progress). He'd had a productive day and a pleasant time after work with friend's so he was bouncy and cheerful while I was exhausted after a challenging day. I was sitting at in the car looking down at my phone (to reply to a text) when Mr B crept up to the car and banged on the bonnet. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but he thought it was hilarious. Why do men never grow up? He spent the first half of the journey home giggling and the second half apologising!


I thought life would be back to normal by Friday, but I had forgotten that he was going out after work to mark a colleague's retirement. He arrived home (eventually) sober but smelly - I detest the smell of alcohol. I was happy to leave him downstairs watching television when I went to bed, but he must have found his way upstairs at some point because I woken this morning by Robbie 'backfiring'. I tried to ignore it, then I tried to wake him up, I failed dismally on both counts. In the end I decided that I suffered enough and I abandoned him in favour of the peace and quiet (and clean air) of the lounge. This week has taught me an important lesson - not to take fresh air for granted!

Pyjama Problems

Robbie had a better night last night, partly because he didn't dare to go to bed until it was almost time to get up! I know he must be feeling as tired as I am because trying to wake him up this morning was like trying to wake the dead. I think it's a minor miracle that he managed to get to the station in time for his usual train this morning. I am rather worried that he will be sound asleep by the time he gets to New Street, but hopefully it will be a service that terminates there and he will not wake up to find himself heading further north!

On the subject of sleep my son has a problem. Most people think that being one of only a handful of boys at a girls school would be a dream come true, but it can cause unexpected problems. On Friday his school have a pyjama day to raise funds for something or other. He doesn't possess any pyjamas, he usually wears boxers in bed. He does have a onesie but he claims is skin tight and it would attract too much attention if he wore it to school. So it looks as if he will have to pass on the PJs and just go to school in his normal clothes. Chatting to him about this reminded me of a PJ related incident when he was about eight or nine and trying to be very grown up. At 17 he doesn't like to be reminded of the things he did when he was younger but I treasure all those funny little memories.  

2004
There was a funny little episode last week with S. A couple of days before he went to his first sleepover he said he absolutely had to have some deodorant – Sure for Men Sensitive to be exact. We went to get him some deodorant, but while at the shop he asked for FCUK pre shave face wash. I pointed out that he doesn't shave but he said "it says pre shave, and I will shave one day so it is ideal for me". He went to the sleepover with his grown up toiletries and his new leather jacket looking really cool. A couple of days after he got back I asked him if his mates had been impressed by his grown up stuff. He gave me a long stare, then in a very serious voice he said "you spoiled the effect mum, you packed my Buzz Lightyear pyjamas!" 

Best Foot Forward

Robbie and I had a 'frank exchange of views' last night, I know it is silly to argue about trivial stuff but honestly how hard is is for a man to understand the difference between a dish cloth and a floor cloth!! We have the sense not to argue for long, there are so many more important things in life that it is foolish to argue about trivia.

We had a disrupted night which left me feeling useless or perhaps helpless is more accurate. I woke at 2.15am to find Robbie in agony, he was crying with pain and running through his extensive repertoire of expletives. He couldn't move and his leg was in spasm to such an extent that you could feel it 'jumping'. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help or to ease his pain. It seemed to go on forever, but in reality it was perhaps half an hour or so before the pain eased slightly. He was still moaning with pain at around 3am when exhaustion finally allowed him to fall  asleep. Sleep eluded me for at least another hour, I just lay there worrying and feeling useless.

This morning we had to get up a bit earlier than usual, to give him more time to get ready. I took him to the station so that he had extra time to walk to the platform. I knew he was worried about how he would walk from the station to the office, he mentioned it several times in the car. He said that he would just take his time and he would be OK. I wish I could do something to help, I feel so helpless. As he got out of the car he said "Best foot forward". I am so proud of him, even on a bad day like this he just keeps going. He doesn't give up and somehow he faces the day with a smile.

I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent - Publilius Syrus

I always look forward to the weekends, it is good spending time with Robbie, and it is nice to take life at a calmer pace after all the demands of the week. On week days we are out of bed by 5am so the luxury of a lazy morning with Robbie is one of the best bits of the weekend. Generally we have things planned on Saturdays so Sunday is our lazy morning but one way or another Robbie always manages to burst my bubble. On Sunday morning we were cuddled up in bed just enjoying the moment when Robbie announced that he had rearranged the meat draw in the fridge. I asked if I was so boring that he had to think about cleaning the fridge, he looked a bit confused and after a brief sorry he cuddled closer. All was well for a few minutes then at the point that I should have had his full attention he announced that he wanted to wash the car later on! Needless to say that the moment was lost. I despair of him sometimes.

He Got The Call!

It has been almost a week since I last wrote the blog. Robbie and I have had time off work together and it has been really special, we have had such a good time that the blog just had to wait! So I have a bit of catching up to do...........


Saturday
I was determined that I would not let the day slip through my fingers as so often happens on a Saturday, so I set my alarm to wake me up at a reasonable hour and I made my mind up to enjoy the day to the full. The alarm went off and as soon as I popped my head out from under the covers I knew that it was distinctly chilly. I managed a brief dash to the bathroom before retreating back under the covers. It was nice to sit in bed snug and warm with my laptop while listening to the radio. There is something very special about the luxury of time and the freedom to do whatever floats your boat. In my life, time is a rare commodity so it is extra special to have days of total freedom stretching ahead of me. Robbie made good use of his time - snuggled under the covers exploring the land of nod!


After a very enjoyable morning and a lazy lunch the phone rang and Robbie's eyes lit up when he realised who was calling. It was the optician to tell him that his new glasses were ready for collection. I have never seen him move so fast, one minute he had been trotting around the house in his 'smalls' Homer style, the next he was 'fully booted and spurred' and ready to go and collect his glasses. We rarely go to town on a Saturday (I don't cope well with crowded places) but it was a very pleasant couple of hours. Robbie's choice of glasses was fairly reserved by his standards, both pairs have a little hint of the unconventional, but you have to look carefully to spot it. Once we'd collected the glasses we had time to visit the bookshop and then enjoy a visit to Costa. 

On the way home Robbie spotted a sign for a shop that sells vinyl records. The excitement was almost too much for him, it was too late to visit the shop that day but it is high on his 'to do' list for the week ahead. 

An Early Start.

The insistent bleeping of the alarm clock roused me from sleep, but 'Sleeping Beauty' slumbered on oblivious of the cacophony of sound that filled the room as all three alarm clocks demanded attention. I shook him and yelled at him to turn it off, he said "yes dear" and carried on snoring! Clearly it was going to be one of those days. Trying to get Robbie out of bed is like trying to raise the dead - even when (as today) it is something he wants to do.


It took a minor miracle but at 7.55am we pulled out of Northampton on the London Midland service to Birmingham. It was a double set 'blue' train so Robbie had nothing to moan about (for a while at least!). As soon as we arrived at Northampton it was clear that this was no ordinary Saturday morning. The 'socks and sandals brigade' had donned their winter uniform and turned out en masse for the annual gathering of the weird, the worrying and the downright certifiable - otherwise known as the Warley Model Railway Exhibition. 


We left the train at Birmingham International and when we entered the National Exhibition Centre we were herded towards the exhibition hall. We waited for the exhibition to open in a tightly packed and ever growing crowd. I felt very small and outnumbered lost in the crush of men with backpacks who all had the same thing on their minds - trains! The crowd surged forward and I was carried along with it, down the stairs round the corner and in to the exhibition. Robbie was like a kid in a toy shop, he didn't know what to do first, but in true Robbie style he insisted that we had to stick to the same route that we take every year! 

There was lots to look at and Robbie's wish list grew by the minute. I wanted to look at things too but there were some very rude and hostile men around. Several times I was deliberately shoved out of the way and on many occasions men pushed in front of me as I was looking at stalls. Even Robbie noticed the hostile looks I got, as if they thought I had no right to be there. I got sick of dodging rucksacks. Being short is always a bit of a hazard in a crowded situation, but today was worse than usual. They are not going to get rid of that easily, my money is just as good as theirs and when necessary I have sharp elbows (at just the right height) so watch out!


Before long Robbie was walking around with a 'Roy Cropper' shopping bag as well as his rucksack. We bought some lovely books, one for me and four for him, as well as a stash of magazines a couple of little shunt engines and two very nice Hornby circus trucks. As I looked around I noticed that most of the other men were now armed with shopping bags as well as their rucksacks. It was rather like a Roy Cropper convention, or perhaps Where's Wally in reverse - If you looked hard enough you might be able to spot someone 'normal'. People watching is always fun, but at Warley it takes on a whole new dimension!


I am not sure how long we stayed at the exhibition, probably not much more than an hour but we managed to see everything and by the time we left we were absolutely exhausted. I enjoyed it, but I don't think it was as big or quite as good as last year. My favourites were the book stalls and the Stall selling Ivor the Engine books and mugs - I love Ivor the Engine! There was one other highlight, the ladies toilets, they were clean, practical and there were no queues, in fact they were almost deserted. If only it was always like this! 


Robbie and I left the exhibition exhausted but content and keen to take a closer look at our purchases. It was still early so we caught a train to Birmingham with the intention of having a day on the railways - but that is a story for tomorrow, I'm tired now. 

Google in Bed

On Sunday evening I was very tired by the time I went to bed. I was already asleep by the time Robbie came to bed, but as he doesn't do anything quietly I was soon wide awake again. I really don't know why he feels compelled to talk to me (and to require an answer) when I am asleep because he doesn't get a good reaction. He doesn't seem to understand that when I am asleep I really don't want to hear about the cat's digestive problems or even the state of the railways, I just want to sleep - is that so much to ask?


On this particular occasion he had woken me to inform me that he had left the toilet set in the correct position, surely he doesn't imagine that he will get 'brownie points' for doing what any sensible person would do anyway! Seat down and lid up is the only practical option, anything else could lead to catastrophe in the dark! I tried my best 'not to be awake' but Robbie talks regardless and if he gets no response he prods me until he does. I think he enjoys living dangerously!


Somehow we got on to the subject of names and I mentioned that some names like my own enable you to have a good guess about the age of the owner. Robbie mentioned the name Wendy and I told him that it was not really a name until used by J M Barrie in Peter Pan.  It was inspired by a nickname given to him by a little girl who called him her 'friendy' but because she had trouble pronouncing the R sound it became 'fwendy'. 


I don't think I told him that there are rare examples of the name before that, or that it was once a boy's name, but it was the middle of the night and I was keen to go back to sleep. Robbie refused to believe the J M Barrie reference and he was now in confrontational mode demanding to know where the term Wendy House came from. After a deep sigh I told him that it came from the Peter Pan story, but he refused to believe me.  He turned the light on and grabbed his Blackberry, I thought he was going to 'phone a friend' but he was doing a google search. Reluctantly he confirmed that I was right (he should be used to it by now!). Then finally I was allowed to get some sleep.

The human voice is the organ of the soul.

Saturday was our first day off since getting back from holiday, we had loads to do but we didn't do any of it so we have a busy Sunday ahead!


We had a nice lazy and quirky Saturday - any day with Robbie ends up being quirky. I didn't wake up very early and it was lovely to cuddle up to Robbie and know for once that we didn't have to rush. Robbie (always a creature of habit) paused during an intimate moment to share one of his random snippets of information. According to Robbie you can only use 420 characters when updating your Facebook status. It left me feeling rather anxious, I don't want every aspect of my life to become a Facebook update!!


A trip to Morrisons proved more challenging than usual. I have done something to my ankle and I was struggling to walk. Thankfully Robbie was walking quite well (but still in pain) otherwise it would have looked very odd with us both limping. We treated ourselves to a meal at Morrisons and in a weak moment I agreed to let Robbie have a curry - I hate curry! All went well until later in the day when he came bounding across the room to give me a kiss. He had scary breath and I sent him off to the other side of the room for the rest of the day.


We still managed to have fun at a distance. Robbie wanted me to listen to a voice message from his cousin in America. They found each other through a family history site and they get on extremely well. I knew what she looked like but until yesterday I didn't know what she sounded like (except for Robbie's very inaccurate rendition of the way she says his name). It was really interesting to listen to her talking about ordinary day to day things, well most of it was ordinary, one or two things were so random that they were worthy of Robbie. Clearly they share a randomness gene, but in her case it seemed much more controlled. One nice surprise was her voice, it was lovely and very easy to understand. I don't know why that came as a surprise, I guess we are exposed to a few scary American accents on television and I just seem to expect that American women either sound like Marge Simpson or Minnie Mouse. Anyway she had a very nice speaking voice and a lovely accent, but I couldn't help wondering what she makes of Robbie's accent. He says that she has no trouble understanding him, I doubt that somehow - but maybe the family connection helps.


'Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.'  Maya Angelou 

Making Demands

The last couple of nights have found me doing something rather strange in the bedroom just to please Robbie - I have been hand sweing his PJs! He has a beloved pair of PJ bottoms that have seen better days but he loves them so much that he wanted me to try to extend their life. Not an easy task, the pocket was hanging off, he had a tear running up one leg and the crotch - well lets just say it wasn't there. I sat in bed sewing and listening to Radio 4 while he busied himself with his jigsaw in the kitchen. After two nights of careful sewing his PJs looked almost as good as new, the things I do for that man, but it was worth it just to watch him dancing for joy to have his PJs back. I was pleased with a job well done, but glad to pack my sewing kit away until next time. Unfortunately 'next time' has already arrived, he caught his beloved pair of shorts in the car door this morning and he can't face life without them so for my next trick I need to work a miracle on his shorts. He has lots of other pairs but it had to be his favourite pair that got torn.

It was a beautiful day today, Robbie had been up half the night working on his next jigsaw, so he didn't get up very early. I didn't mind, it gave me a chance to do a bit of the jigsaw without him chasing me away - it is very hard, I didn't manage to do much. When his lordship was finally up and ready to face the day we drove to Wroxham Barns, it is a rual craft/trendy shopping yard with a very nice little chldrens farm and an old fashioned fairground. We pottered around the shops and I resisted the temptation to harm the very annoying man playing accordion, I gave him a deep and meaningful stare instead and within minutes he stopped playing and vanished - result!!


They have added a model shop since we were last there so Robbie was in his element, I only managed to drag him away when he spotted a shop selling local real ale, he bought a bottle to take home, then he took me to the beer garden where he enjoyed a pint of Wroxham Barns Bitter and a pork pie, while I had a rather nice pot of tea and a sausage roll.

The last couple of nights have found me doing something rather strange in the bedroom just to please Robbie - I have been hand sweing his PJs! He has a beloved pair of PJ bottoms that have seen better days but he loves them so much that he wanted me to try to extend their life. Not an easy task, the pocket was hanging off, he had a tear running up one leg and the crotch - well lets just say it wasn't there. I sat in bed sewing and listening to Radio 4 while he busied himself with his jigsaw in the kitchen. After two nights of careful sewing his PJs looked almost as good as new, the things I do for that man, but it was worth it just to watch him dancing for joy to have his PJs back. I was pleased with a job well done, but glad to pack my sewing kit away until next time. Unfortunately 'next time' has already arrived, he caught his beloved pair of shorts in the car door this morning and he can't face life without them so for my next trick I need to work a miracle on his shorts. He has lots of other pairs but it had to be his favourite pair that got torn.



It was a beautiful day today, Robbie had been up half the night working on his next jigsaw, so he didn't get up very early. I didn't mind, it gave me a chance to do a bit of the jigsaw without him chasing me away - it is very hard, I didn't manage to do much. When his lordship was finally up and ready to face the day we drove to Wroxham Barns, it is a rual craft/trendy shopping yard with a very nice little chldrens farm and an old fashioned fairground. We pottered around the shops and I resisted the temptation to harm the very annoying man playing accordion, I gave him a deep and meaningful stare instead and within minutes he stopped playing and vanished - result!!


They have added a model shop since we were last there so Robbie was in his element, I only managed to drag him away when he spotted a shop selling local real ale, he bought a bottle to take home, then he took me to the beer garden where he enjoyed a pint of Wroxham Barns Bitter and a pork pie, while I had a rather nice pot of tea and a sausage roll. It was lovely sitting there in the sun watching the world go by. We returned via North Walsham to buy a couple of presents and then to Stalham for one or two essentials before returning to the bungalow. We've had a lovely evening just doing our own thing and trying not to think about going back to reality on Sunday. I wish I could make time stand still.

Puzzled

Robbie came to bed very late last night or more accurately I should say this morning, so when I got up he was still in the land of nod - and he remained there for half the morning! He was late coming to bed because he had got carried away with doing his jigsaw of the Flying Scotsman. I am not a jigsaw person but there is something about an unfinished jigsaw that demands your attention and spent a peaceful couple of hours with Radio 4 and the jigsaw. When Mr Sleepy finally woke up he wasn't best pleased, but he hid it well. We went out for lunch at Mundesley which was a nice treat. After that we had a bit of a potter around before heading back to the bungalow. I went for a walk along the beach, but Robbie stayed behind with his jigsaw, he made it very clear that my help was no longer needed. I was very happy out on the beach, I found a wishing stone and I wandered along noticing all the little details that you only notice when you are on your own.

Robbie completed his jigsaw, it looked amazing, now he has the next one out and he is planning to start that later this evening. It has pictures of old Hornby models on it, it looks really difficult but apparently he doesn't need any help! I have really enjoyed today, it has been fun, it is so nice to have to relax without the day to day world crowding in on us.  

Things That Go Chomp in the Night

Robbie came very close to being harmed a few nights ago. I should be used to him testing my tolerance to the limit, but when he wakes me up at night he really is asking for trouble. Last Friday I wet to bed at around midnight and Robbie promised that he would not be far behind. I listened to the radio for a little while, but when it became clear that Robbie was not going to turn up any time soon, I turned off the light, settled down and went to sleep.

Much later I was woken by the sound of the bedroom door bursting open and Robbie clomping in talking (to himself or to his imaginary friend) about pants. I reluctantly opened one eye to look at the alarm clock, it was past 2am and Robbie was deciding what pants he wanted to wear in the morning. I closed my eye again and decided to be asleep, it didn't seem to bother him because he was going to talk to me anyway. The subject changed from pants to delayed trains and I knew that 'staying asleep' was the right decision.

Suddenly there was a big thump as a heavy object landed on the bed next to me, it made me jump and I gave up on the idea of 'staying asleep'. I rolled over to find that the Argos catalogue was next to me on the bed. At about the same time Robbie launched himself onto the bed and then spent what felt like hours beating his pillows and flapping the duvet around. I was getting seriously irritated and I was already planning cruel and unusual punishments, but he was totally oblivious. He propped his pillows up against the headboard unwrapped a toffee picked up the Argos catalogue and turned on the light. That was the final straw, I found my voice and told him in no uncertain terms to turn off the light. He refused, so I turned it off myself. He put it back on saying that 20 minutes with the Argos catalogue wasn't much to ask. I sat up and informed him that aggressive toffee chewing and browsing catalogues was NOT a bedroom activity especially at past 2am! I gave him a choice, either read and chew in the bathroom or stop being an idiot and go to sleep. Reluctantly he chose the latter, with a look of defeat he turned off the light, snuggled down and was instantly asleep. I was too angry to sleep, the chomping had been replaced with strange snoring noises like the sound of a balloon deflating!

The Quest for Perfect Pants

For someone who claims to love being naked Robbie manages to get very up tight about his pants. Several weeks before Christmas we decided that Robbie absolutely had to have a new suit for work. The trousers belonging to his favourite suit were becoming rather see through - not a good look, and the jacket of his other work suit had something odd going on with the collar that made him look as if he had no neck. So rather reluctantly we had to break open the piggy bank and beat the VAT rise. Nothing is ever simple when it comes to dressing Robbie and when the suit arrived the trousers didn't fit quite as well as he'd hoped, so they were returned and the replacement order was delayed by the heavy snow. We finally collected the new trousers after Christmas So Monday was the first chance Robbie had to wear his new suit to work - and that is when the trouble began!

When he chose a wool blend suit I pointed out the risk of irritation, but Robbie assured me that he was not sensitive to wool and there was no risk of it making him itch. The suit had other ideas! Robbie arrived home on Monday evening walking like John Wayne, he made it as far as the kitchen before removing his trousers and inviting me to feel his legs. I have seen worse but I had to agree that there was a hint of redness probably caused by the trousers. I prescribed some E45 cream, but Robbie didn't seem keen on getting cream on his hands and I didn't offer to rub it in for him, so his legs remained uncreamed until bed time. Every half an hour or so he got up from his chair and plodded over in his pants to ask me to look at his legs, there was nothing much to see but they were obviously causing him some discomfort. I spent the evening searching online for the perfect pair of pants to remedy the problem and he finally settled on some rather attractive sports underwear from his beloved Marks and Spencer. He intended to make an urgent visit to M&S the next day. So when I plodded off to bed I was hopeful that the solution to the problem was within reach.

We were rather late going to bed and as always I was trying to get to sleep before Robbie arrived. He sat gnome like on the bed contemplating his inner thighs. I urged him to put some E45 cream on his legs and then settle down and get some sleep, my sympathy was fast being eroded by exhaustion. He asked me to get him the cream so I got out of bed and passed it to him then I snuffled back under the covers, clearly it was going to be a long night. After what seemed like hours I out from the covers to see Robbie dispensing a pea sized portion of cream on to one finger and then attempting to rub it in with just one finger. I urged him to get a sensible amount of cream and rub it in with his whole hand or neither of us would get any sleep. He must have taken my advice because he eventually got into bed, but almost as soon as he settled down he started to make strange noises, like a whimper mixed with a groan. Apparently the cream was making his legs sting even more, unbelievably he was asleep within a few minutes but his legs still seemed to have a life of their own. By the time I got to sleep it was time to wake up again, suddenly single beds seem a very attractive option!

Forgetful?

I was rather confused this morning when Robbie told me how much he enjoyed last night in bed. I didn't recall anything deep or meaningful, I admit that I have become a bit forgetful since my bump on the head last week, but surely I wouldn't forget something like that? I wasn't sure what to say so I just cuddled up to Robbie and left him to do the talking. It soon became clear that his enjoyment didn't involve me at all. His pleasurable time involved sitting up in bed eating chocolate finger biscuits and reading his new book about Scammell lorries!!

Keeping Warm

I am starting to feel a little more human again today, I felt a bit dodgy on Thursday and absolutely diabolical on Friday. I have a long standing digestive problem but it hasn't been this bad for years. I managed to get Robbie to the station on Friday morning but when I got home matters took a turn for the worse and there was no way on earth that I would have been able to get Sam to school. In fact it was so bad that Robbie turned round at Birmingham International, and headed home. At least he has the necessary equipment to work from home. I really don't remember much about Friday after that, when I finally stopped running to the bathroom I slept for hours, I felt very cold but Robbie said I was burning up.

I didn't feel like doing very much today, but at least I felt vaguely human again. This morning I stayed in bed because I still felt too cold to get up even with Robbie's radioactive rear to keep the bed warm. It turned out to be a really nice morning because we cuddled up and watched my favourite film Farmer Moving South. It is one of the finest early British Transport Films, it follows a farmer's relocation from Skutterskelf Hall Farm, near Stokesley in North Yorkshire, to Perry Hill Farm, Hartfield, Sussex on the 31st December 1950 - a date recorded as the coldest night of that year. I wish I could go back in time and explore the railways of those days. It is clear from the film that it was a different world, there was no health and safety, no risk assessments, just good old common sense - something that seems to be sadly lacking these days!

An Early Night!

Robbie often promises me an early night but for all sorts of reasons we don't get to bed until much later than planned. So earlier this week it was a nice change to find ourselves in bed reasonably early. Robbie went through his usual rituals including setting the alarm on his blackberry so that it would wake the alarm clock up. Then he reached across and picked up a yellow A4 folder containing early copies of Model Rail magazine, he proceeded to tell me about the history of the magazine, the variations in content over the years - he even listed the issues that were missing from his collection. I was wide awake when I went to bed, but it is surprising how quickly I fell asleep!