Last of the Summer Sun

When I went to the supermarket earlier this week, it felt as if I had taken a step back to early August. It was very hot with bright sunshine and and everyone was wearing short sleeved tops. To my surprise it has remained and sunny ever since. Of course looks can be deceiving, it may be hot in the middle of the day, but the early morning is dark and distinctly nippy and the long summer evenings have been chased away by the encroaching autumn darkness. I am always pleased to see the sun, but in a way the sunny days this week are a sad reminder of all that has gone. Was it really six weeks ago that we were on holiday in Norfolk? 

I love the summer, I don't need the weather to be too hot, just warm and comfortable, but mostly I love the long days and warm pleasant evenings. I think my favourite month is May when there are so many wild flowers and it warm with long lazy evenings and the summer stretches ahead of us. September is my least favourite month, it feels as if the darkness closes in around us with dark mornings and encroaching darkness in the evening with the promise of worse to come. We all have little triggers that remind us of past sadness and for me it is the sound of conkers falling to the ground from Horse Chestnut Trees. I remember the excitement of getting up early to go and collect conkers when I was little and I did the same when my children were little, so there are some good memories. However they are overshadowed by the memory of sitting in a hospital room, looking out at the beautiful grounds and hearing the conkers fall from the trees with a thud on to the grass below. In the quiet of the night the thud of the conkers falling seemed very loud. How odd that something so insignificant can sound so loud when a human life can slip away noiselessly.

Robbie On A Bad Day

Where do I start? Maybe I should just say that Robbie's mood yesterday evening was a little fragile, it was clear that he was tired - the sound of snoring was a bit of a hint! I went to bed at around 11pm and I thought he would follow shortly after - he didn't! I made sure that all my alarm clocks were set correctly because it always takes my body clock a few days to adjust to losing an hour. Then I settled down to sleep. The next thing I remember is being woken by someone treading on my ankle - Robbie had finally decided to come to bed. I probably told him to go away as I drifted back to sleep, but I was woken again shortly after by a loud bleep, then another, then a whole series of bleeps and a flashing blue light. In my confused and sleepy state I couldn't work out what was going on, was it morse code or some sort of secret message? I forced my eyes open to see Robbie kneeling naked on the bed attempting to change the time setting on his new Lego alarm clock. There was a brief but brutal exchange of insults and I advised Robbie to take clock to the bathroom to set it with the light on! It was just after 2am and I was determined to get some sleep so I turned my back on him and pulled the duvet over my head.


His Lego alarm clock announced  that it was 5am and time to get up - he slept on. After several further episodes of blue lights and bleeping and considerable input from me, Robbie plodded off to the bathroom. That dratted alarm clock continued to serenade me every 5 minutes until Robbie returned, I wanted to implant it in his head but I restrained myself and told him to take it away and drown it! His interest was then taken up with pants! Allegedly I had deliberately deprived him of his favourite underwear by failing to do a dark wash yesterday. I did a dark wash on Sunday evening, how many pairs of pants could he possibly have got through since then! I provided him with clean pants and socks but he wasn't keen to let go of the issue and he continued muttering about the underwear conspiracy until he found something else to moan about. Apparently I have deliberately failed to oil the hinges on our bedroom door just to annoy him! That man makes my hands itch sometimes!!


The thing is that none of those things were the real problem. The truth is that he is in so much pain from his back and his legs that he doesn't know how to put one foot in front of the other. He will not go to the doctor because he knows there is nothing they can do except give stronger pain killers. I feel so useless, I wish I could make the pain go away, I wish I could do something, anything to make it easier for him. There has to be some way to ease the pain and I am not going to give up until I find it!


Photo by Clix

Making Up

Robbie was late coming to bed again last night. I expect he was finding it hard to drag himself away from that book again. I don't know what time it was when he finally arrived in the bedroom, I had been deeply asleep but his loud conversation woke me up. I growled at him but he ignored the warning and continued talking. Then just to ensure that I had no chance of getting back to sleep he put his search light on and sat on the edge of the bed contemplating (or searching for) his navel. I threatened him with dire consequences but he just laughed at me, so war broke out. I was ready to kill him! He settled down in bed still giggling and within seconds he was snoring, but as always I took me forever to get back to sleep. I am going to confiscate his bulb!!

This morning he was repentant (and bruised). He said he wants to make up for always putting the trains first and neglecting me. Guess what he has in mind? A trip to York on a Voyager and a visit to the National Rail Museum!! Oh well, at least he is consistent. Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry!

Sock Thieves

He did it again! What is wrong with that man? At about 1.45am I was sound asleep when Robbie came to bed. For some reason he found it essential to stand over me and prod me to ask if I was asleep. Then the light went on and he spent the next ten minutes looking for his socks, muttering darkly the whole time about sock thieves. He's deluded, who would want his socks! I got increasingly annoyed and he became increasingly irritating. Still proclaiming his conspiracy theory, he turned the main light off, climbed over the bed and switched on his side light in order to rummage in his sock drawer. His light was intolerable, it is like a searchlight and I was furious that yet again he thought it was OK to wake me up and subject me to this sort of torture. Finally he was reunited with his socks, but he refused to turn the light off, he made a big deal about setting the alarm on his phone before very grudgingly settling down and putting out the light. By this time I was furious and ready to harm him, yet again he managed to fall asleep within minutes, leaving me wide awake and unable to sleep. Please, for the sake of my sanity make him understand that waking me up in the middle of the night could be dangerous to his health!

Torture!

Why are men such slow learners? I was late going to bed last night because I was listening to the European election results on the radio, and it must have been getting towards 1am when I headed up to bed. Robbie said he would be there in a few minutes so I left my light and my radio on hoping that I would be able to sleep and that Robbie wouldn't disturb me when he came to bed. The problem was that he didn't come to bed and the light kept waking me up so in the end I turned it off. Later I was woken by a searchlight, Robbie had turned his bedside lamp on, and he was kneeling on the bed with his rear end in the air searching under his side of the bed for an Argos catalogue! When I recovered from the shock I yelled at him to turn the light off and let me go back to sleep but he refused and he became increasingly awkward. He then decided to set the alarm on his mobile before turning the light off and setting down. As a final insult he flapped the duvet to let all the warmth out and he kept prodding me just to be annoying. By then I was wide awake and so frustrated that I was ready to harm him, especially when he lay there giggling like Mutley. He was asleep and snoring within minutes, but I couldn't get back to sleep for ages. He needs to watch out because when he least expects it I will get my revenge!

Living Dangerously

The fact that Robbie has survived unharmed for 36 years is one of life's enduring mysteries. Sometimes he infuriates me so much that the urge to harm him is almost irresistible. The trouble is that he has no sense of danger, Robbie will 'boldly go' where angels fear to tread. When he got home from work on Monday he wandered into the kitchen to find out what was for dinner, within seconds he was telling me that I was doing things wrong! My warning stare didn't work and when he attempted to tell me how to do something else I couldn't contain my frustration, I stormed out of the kitchen and told him that if he knew so much he could finish cooking the meal himself. I went back a few minutes later because he can't make the gravy, but he was still trying to tell me that his way was the best way. He was standing there in his PJ's and I was armed with a scalding hot jug of gravy, only an act of supreme self mastery on my part prevented me from tipping the gravy straight down the front of his trousers!

Yesterday I played safe and made a chicken casserole so that by the time Robbie arrived home there would be very to argue about. Emily needed a lift so I planned to drive her to the station and then take Robbie home. I made the dumplings before leaving the house, but thankfully I left them on a plate ready to put in when I arrived home and I turned the oven down slightly. When Robbie got into the car his first sentence was to request that I would take him to Staples. I asked if we could do it another day because our meal was almost ready, but apparently it was an emergency - he needed to buy a new pencil! I took him to Staples and I'm please to report that he now has a pencil with lead in it! Thankfully our meal survived the delay.

I went to bed fairly late, I was tired and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. Sometime later 'Thunder Foot' came to bed. How hard can it be to slip into bed quietly without waking me up? In Robbie's case it appears to be impossible! He thumped and bumped around, talked to me, prodded me, flapped the covers about let the cold air in and worse of all he put the light on just to annoy me. You will not be surprised to hear that it worked! I was furious. Once again I was wide awake and it would take ages to get back to sleep, but within minutes 'Sleeping Beauty' was 'Z'ing away, oblivious of my simmering anger.

This morning I expected a 'sorry' and may be a bit of affection. Instead I was awoken by a searchlight and an inquisition, he was accusing me of stealing his knickers! I was quite insistent that I hadn't touched them but he wouldn't believe me. I was furious about not being believed, we are not exactly talking about the crown jewels here, I don't think there is a booming market in second hand drawers. To add insult to injury he then blamed Sam for stealing them - how ridiculous. If I find them before he does he'd better watch out because every pair will have a liberal sprinkling of itching powder inside!

Just in case anyone is wondering, Robbie went to work fully clothed, including underwear. He had been looking for a specific pair, for some reason or other he had decided that he had to wear that pair today. He told me last night that he had to go on a site visit today and he needed to have a high visibility jacket and safety boots. Perhaps he thought he needed his lucky pants as well!