I Met A Man Who Wasn't There

Robbie has been frightening me in the middle of the night - it is OK you can read on it is nothing rude! Two weekends ago Robbie went off to play trains wearing his high visibility coat, he says it is very warm and comfortable (but when he wears it he reminds me of a Smurf). When he got back from his trip he asked me to wash his coat, so the next day I washed it following the label instructions to the letter. The coat had to be drip dried so I sprinted upstairs with it and hung it over the bath. That evening when I got back from work Robbie had hung the coat on the bathroom door and there it has stayed for a fortnight. I often have to visit the bathroom during the night, I plod along the landing in the dark close the bathroom door and jump out of my skin because there is a 'man' wearing a high visibility jacket behind the door! It reminds me of the rhyme 'When I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish he'd go away'. I wish Robbie would put his coat away!

A Disturbed Night

One thing that Robbie is very good at is sleeping, he has even been known to fall asleep mid sentence. Unfortunately he does not always make it easy for me to sleep, his legs seem to have a life of their own and kicks the duvet about and worse still he lets the heat out of the bed. Occasionally he manages to roll himself up in the duvet, leaving me shivering with no covers, but at the weekend he came up with a new way to keep me awake. I had changed the bedding and he'd helped me to put the duvet cover on, but as we were drifting off to sleep he suddenly announced that I had forgotten to put a bottom sheet on the bed. I assured him that there was a bottom sheet but he refused to believe me and he put his search light on to check. I threatened him with unspeakable consequences and he grudgingly turned the light off. I was just starting to doze when he accused me of putting a nylon sheet on the bed, I began to think he was mad, where would I find a nylon sheet? I told him it was cotton, just like all the others but he wouldn't believe me, the light went back on so that he could check and I was becoming increasingly angry. The light was eventually turned off, but Robbie began a long and rambling account of synthetic fabrics that I have not heard of since the 1970's. Suddenly there was silence and then gentle snoring, Robbie had fallen asleep, but by this time I was wide awake!

Pillow Talk 27.02.07

Robbie was in my bad books this morning, I was exhausted and it was all his fault. I'd had a couple of disturbed nights due to a bad back, and when I went to bed last night I fell asleep fairly quickly. My sleep was disrupted by Robbie coming to bed at about half past one. I was dimly aware of him talking to himself as he plodded towards the bedroom, something about me being totally unreasonable for turning the light out. I drifted back to sleep only to be woken by a 'searchlight' and Robbie still mumbling discontentedly. I gratefully embraced sleep again, until I was roused once again by the bed moving; Robbie was using the bed as a trampoline as he climbed across and landed with a thump at the side of me. I wasn't awake enough to express my fury in words, so I made do with a very expressive growel. He finally settled down in bed, but the endless commentary continued until I could bear it no longer and I hid under the duvet to block out the noise. Never one to pick up on subtle cues, Robbie continued moaning - brave man! By this time he was complaining that I had swapped the pillows over and he couldn't sleep - well join the club!! He was talking absolute rubbish, but I was ready to harm him by this time. I sat bolt upright and forced him to swap pillows, he then settled down and within seconds he was snoring, I was left wide awake for hour, plotting murder!!