“Voyage upon life's sea, To yourself be true, And, whatever your lot may be, Paddle your own canoe”

Saturday 3rd August

The alarm woke me, I could so easily have turned over and gone back to sleep but I wanted to make an early start. I have looked forward to this holiday for so long and I want to make the most of every single minute. Surprisingly 'Sleeping Beauty' got up willingly and trotted off to make a cup of tea.

Usually Robbie finds every possible reason to delay us, but to my surprise we were packed and ready to go by 9am - perhaps the promise of a brief stop at Mc Donald's to get some breakfast helped to focus his mind. I am not a great fan of Mc Donald's but their hot chocolate is very nice as an occasional treat. Dave the cat was in a very bad mood he turned his back on me, refused his breakfast and wouldn't even acknowledge me when I said goodbye to him! Poor Dave, he hates it when we go on holiday but I'm sure My daughter will take good care of him.

I'd already had firm words with Robbie about the Sat-Nav. Last time we went to Norfolk he upset it and the poor thing lost the plot, it was a case of train planner v Sat-Nav and we almost ended up in a field! This time I'd had a good look at the map and I was determined that neither of them should lead me astray. Robbie did very well really, I was somewhat alarmed when I glanced across and noticed that he was using a Quail map but apparently he was just trying to identify a disused level crossing!

We made good time and arrived in Mundesley in time to enjoy lunch at the Beach Cafe, the food there is fantastic, I love going there. Robbie had his favourite lifesaver breakfast and I had fish and chips, it was lovely, beautifully cooked, and such a large portion that I wouldn't want anything else to eat that day! After a couple of hours in Mundesley we took a gentle drive towards Walcott, picked up the key and then at long last we were at the bungalow - I have been looking forward to this for so long, I love this place.

The car was unpacked, everything was put away, and before long it was just like home, our sanctuary for the next two weeks. At last we could relax, enjoy the sunshine and leave the worries of the world behind for a couple of weeks. The view from the back garden is awesome, just sand, sea and sky as far as the eye can see - it certainly helps to put things into perspective! 

A Time and a Place

So far Tuesday has been much nicer than Monday was, but everything turned out well in the end, so I can't really complain. Why do Monday mornings come round so quickly? One minute it is Friday and the whole weekend stretches ahead then you blink and it is Monday morning again. We had a nice weekend, but it just didn't last long enough. I think my favourite bit of the weekend is Saturday morning, it is so nice to wake up and realise that you don't have to be ruled by the clock. Cuddling up to Robbie while listening to Radio 4 on a Saturday morning is so special, but it is a struggle to get his undivided attention. I am used to his rather unique ways, but even I can't cope with some things. It irritates me when he notices every bus that goes along the road and then recites the complete timetable for that bus; I get even more irritated when he sits there reading a Quail map and forgets that I'm there, but when he chooses Saturday morning in bed to tell me about his colleagues and their train spotting obsessions I know that it is time to give up!

The Way To His Heart

This week has been difficult for both of us; for me because all my attention has been taken up with a DLA renewal application for a family member, for Robbie because he is very busy at work and he is in so much pain from his back and legs that coping with everyday life is almost impossible. I was so worried about him on Thursday evening because he could hardly move, but Robbie being Robbie, he wasn't going to give in. It took a superhuman effort, but he headed off to work bright and early on Friday morning.

The weekend could so easily have been a disaster, Robbie was in pain and frustrated because it was stopping him from doing most of the things he wanted to do. We were in no hurry to get moving on Saturday, but Robbie decided that if he had to miss out on some of his usual weekend activities he wanted to ride on trains instead. So at midday we were at the station ready to catch the 12.17 to Birmingham, there was just one problem - it was cancelled! I'm not sure if was that or the tepid coffee that upset Robbie most, but I was treated to one of his rants. He soon calmed down and before long we we were heading to Birmingham on a blue train and Robbie got his favourite seat, so he was happy again.

I suggested that we should have a look at some of Robbie's favourite shops in Birmingham. It was very brave of me because I don't cope very well with crowds and I am not keen on Birmingham, but I wanted him to have a nice day. We went to the Ian Allan bookshop, a record shop and lots of shoe shops because Robbie had his eye on some new trainers. I saw the most amazing pair of Dr Marten boots in Cloggs - I want them so badly but they are too tight across my foot where the lace up bit starts. Robbie bought himself an Animal T shirt and I bought him what he refers to as 'railway porn' - a Quail map (a book of track maps).

There was a loud and very scary parade on New Street. I couldn't see much because of the crowds, but there was a dragon and some dancers and a whole gang of men in kilts making an excruciating noise with bagpipes. I had to go and hide in The Works until it was all over - I bought a couple of books in there too. Robbie wanted to have a coffee in Costa before we went home, it was a bad decision, it was crowded and far too noisy so neither of us enjoyed it, but I guess it prepared us for the journey home, some football fans decided to serenade us and they kept up their chanting all the way to Rugby. If that wasn't bad enough the moron in front decided that the whole train had to listen to his music, it made me feel quite violent. Surprisingly Robbie was quite chilled he was in his own little world, lost in the detail of his Quail map! It was worth making the effort, we had a really good time despite the wild men with bagpipes and the problems on the train.

Being Anal

I was reading a thread on a forum the other day about the things that people are anal about, it made me laugh out loud because the very first post could have been describing Robbie.


"....he emerges from the bathroom holding the toothpaste asking who has failed to squeeze from the bottom of the tube!"


As I read on I realised that so many of the posts could have been describing Robbie. Someone wrote about their partner driving them mad by constant checking and commenting on railway and bus timetables. Surely there can't be anyone else as bad as Robbie for doing that - or do all train planners take their quail maps to bed with them?


Another common theme was having to have tea or coffee made in exactly the right way. Robbie is impossible about the way his coffee has to be made and he criticises me every time I make coffee for him, so I find it easier to let him make it himself.


Robbie even has strong opinions about the loo roll! According to him it unrolls more efficiently if the end is on top rather than underneath. I don't think I even notice which way round it is, why would anyone obsess about anything so trivial?


In the interest of fairness I should perhaps admit to the one thing mentioned that I am obsessive about - black ink! Blue ink should never ever be used, black
looks so much nicer. Robbie is into pens in a big way, especially Parker pens, he could talk forever about all the different designs - and if anyone borrows his pens it is a hanging offence!


When I first met Robbie I thought it was odd that he counted the stairs every time he went up or down, but I soon realised that was mild, Robbie counts everything. This evening I caught him counting the increasing revs on the washing machine spin cycle, he could tell the speed just by listening to it and when it reached the maximum speed of 1400 he got so excited - seriously weird and more than a little autistic!

Normal Service Has Been Resumed

I am pleased to report that normal service has been resumed, Robbie is his usual cheerful self again after a very challenging weekend. It was his birthday on Saturday, he was 36 and he was an absolute pain. I'm not sure what got into him, he said he wasn't happy about getting old and I came very close to solving that problem for him - there is only so much moaning one person can take in a day! He had some nice presents and cards, two expensive railway books from me, binoculars from the children, another railway mug and money. He'd asked for money because he is saving up for an a camera, not just any old camera, the one he has his eye on does everything except make a cup of tea - and it has a price to match, so he will have to save up. We had a lovely afternoon at my mum's, she spoils Robbie, she cooked him his favourite meal and she made him a lovely birthday cake, so he managed to feel a little better about getting old by the end of the day.

On Sunday I put him in a bad mood by listening to the morning service on Radio 4, I was enjoying it but Mr Moan announced that it was too 'happy clappy' and he sat up in bed with his arms folded and his bottom lip sticking out like a toddler having a strop. He irritated me so much that I was almost tempted to sing along and join in with the service, but maybe that would have been too much for him to bear. I had a couple of errands to do, but I when I got back I made sure that I had some peace and quiet to listen to the Archers. Robbie was kept busy with mending the fence (just the job for a rainy day) and then building his new bookcase (at last).

So now it is Monday evening and the bookcase is positioned neatly in the corner of the lounge with just two books on it. Having waited weeks for Robbie to build it, I thought it would be a simple matter to put the books on it, but there appears to be some delay. He says he has to work out how to arrange the books but I think he has suddenly realised that he will not be able to read his Quail Maps in bed anymore. I have a feeling that this isn't going to be as easy as I thought!
Favourite Railway Books

Stranded Without a Quail! 22.02.07

Robbie phoned me from the train this evening. He told me that there was a speed restriction in place, but he was stranded without his quail map, so he couldn't check the signalling to work out roughly how late he would be. Imagine being stranded without a quail map - what a predicament!!

When he got home it wasn't long before First Great Western got him into serious trouble. They had driven him to the limit of frustration with timetable issues and he used a very unfortunate expletive to explain the situation. After a severe telling off we decided to adapt our family code so that FGW has become a swear word in its own right, minimising the need for other expletives.

As well as being caught out without his quail map, Robbie has lost his pager, it has been missing for a few days and despite searching frantically he can't find it. I don't know what he could have done with it. I hate the thing, it is bad enough that it constantly vibrates in his pocket, but he even takes it to bed with him! It is like a security blanket and he is lost without it

Security Blanket 29.01.07

This afternoon found us heading off in the car to see my mum. Robbie sat in the passenger seat engrossed in the National Rail Timetable which he had decided to bring out for a ride. Kids have teddy bears and security blankets, Robbie has Quail maps and timetables! His excuse for reading it on this occasion was to work out the best route to Leicester because Emily has to go for a university visit in a couple of weeks. He could easily have looked it up at work tomorrow, but he uses any excuse to drag that massive timetable around with him. The good news was that we don't have to go via the dreaded Birmingham New Street, the bad news was that Robbie plunged himself into despair when he recalled that he will soon have to survive without his beloved timetable in book form, as in future it will only be available online. I had not thought of Robbie as a Luddite before, but he is certainly not happy with this particular manifestation of progress.

Lofty Ideas 22.01.07

Robbie has been extremely irritating today. Before we got up this morning we got into a verbal dispute about the location of Northampton, he simply will not believe that we are in the East Midlands despite overwhelming evidence. In the end he reached over to his book case and I thought the dreaded Quail map was coming out again. I had intended to hide it after being treated to an incredibly detailed account of the route taken during his marathon journey from Leeds to Birmingham on Thursday. My efforts would have been pointless because he produced the Bakers Railway Atlas instead, and knowing that he had lost the argument, he attempted to bore me into submission!

I retreated to the bathroom for a relaxing bath, but Robbie was not far behind. By this point he was bleating about the exact location of Walsall (unless last weeks gales were more devastating than we have been led to believe, I suspect it is still in the same place!). I thought he needed something to distract him, so I asked him to go up to the loft to get some items that he had squirreled away before Christmas. I find it hard to get into the loft so I have to rely on Robbie, but as usual he got really possessive about it and seemed to require my request in triplicate giving detailed reasons for wanting my own stuff back. Somewhere hidden inside that train planner there is a bureaucrat fighting to get out! Sanity won, and with a bit of huffing and puffing he went up to the loft and reluctantly liberated most of the things I needed.

I shopped for food on Thursday and again on Saturday but once again Robbie asked to go to Tesco Express this evening. Every sunday evening he finds a compelling reason to drag me off to Tesco's, I am beginning to think he must have a woman hidden away there! He means well, but today was definitely one of his annoying days; never mind, I can send him to work tomorrow, I'm sure they must be used to him by now!

Burning Bradshaws

This morning we were cuddled up in bed when the subject of Robbie's large collection of railway books arose. He has shelves of them close to his side of the bed so that his bedtime reading is close at hand. Robbie mainly reads railway books, railway magazines, and other assorted magazines. His favourite non railway magazine is Stuff, full of information about every gadget imaginable. He doesn't read fiction at all - except the Guardian, but you already know my opinion on that!

He often looks at his Quail Maps in bed. I don't really see the attraction, it is interesting to see the precise details of local lines, but I really don't think I could become engrossed in a a Quail Map for hours! Anyway getting back to this morning, I made the mistake of suggesting that we could get rid of some of his out of date maps and timetables. He almost leapt out of bed to stand between me and his precious books. He yelled, "you can't do that, it would be like burning Bradshaw’s".

I knew that I was in for a long explanation. Robbie painstakingly explained that Bradshaw’s was an independently produced timetable covering all the railway companies in pre nationalisation days. Not surprisingly he took rather more than one sentence to explain that! He went on to say that his huge tomes were more modern but absolutely indispensable. They are apparently an essential work of reference and must be kept forever. I was far from convinced, but if he needs a security blanket who am I to deprive him of it!
It crossed my mind that if Hercule Poirot managed to catch a serial killer using the ABC Railway Guide, who knows what Robbie could achieve with his National Railway Timetables!
A similar principle apparently applies to Quail maps and therefore we are compelled to keep the past version as well as the present ones. Oh well, it will soon be standing room only in our bedroom, but if it makes him happy I will live with it. Come to think of it, it sounds just like his journey home on Central Trains, when they decide to actually provide the service as advertised it is always full and standing!

Discussion of Quail Maps led Robbie somehow to Exeter and a landmark called Red Cow level crossing on the approach to the station. I'm not sure of the relevance but my knowledge of agriculture was sufficient for me to tell him that it was almost certainly named after the Devon Red breed of cattle. Life with Robbie is certainly an education!