Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm - Winston Churchill

It is time to admit that I am a failure, I know that because Robbie told me so loud and clear. I picked him up when I finished work yesterday evening so it was passed 9pm when we got home. The cats were not impressed, they are very good at telling the time (thanks to Robbie's efforts) and they knew that their dinner was late. The loudest complaints were coming from Shadow the guinea pig. I am not aware that Robbie has been actively teaching Shadow to tell the time, perhaps guinea pigs have an innate sense of time or perhaps she just loves to eat whatever the time.


Robbie and the cats disappeared into the kitchen; it was hard to work out if he was feeding them or trying to extend their vocabulary! A little later Robbie emerged from the kitchen holding a plastic bag with a few flecks of green in it. The clues were there, the expression, the hand on the hip, not to mention the expletives from the kitchen - he was not a happy chap. The plastic bag had once contained curly kale, but except for tiny traces of green it was now empty. He waved the bag at me and said "now what am I going to do?". It took me a moment to compose my features because there was something vaguely ridiculous about Robbie who is not noted for his love of 'greens' getting so upset about a deficiency in the curly kale department. Before I could say anything he said "what am I going to say to the guinea pig". I took a deep breath and said that we had other greens, carrots and apples as well as her dried food and hay, so it was unlikely that she would starve. Unbelievably he walked over to the guinea pig to show her the empty bag and to apologise on my behalf for running out of curly kale. I don't think she took too much notice, she was too busy tucking into an apple and her dried food. 


As soon as I finished work today I dashed to the supermarket and we now have an ample supply of curly kale. After all I don't want the guinea pig to think that I'm a failure!

Dr Dolittle

I am used to Robbie having long conversations with the cats and he invests a lot of effort into teaching them to tell the time. On Friday evening I witnessed a conversation between Robbie and Dave the cat. Dave had been fussing around asking to be fed and Robbie pointed up at the kitchen clock and said "when the big hand is on twelve it will be feeding time". Dave is very good communicator, his expression and his body language was more eloquent than any hand signal. He stalked off into the lounge and settled down by the fire, he preferred to examine his nether regions than to have yet another lecture on telling the time from Robbie.

The big hand finally got to 12 and true to his word Robbie fed the animals. Afterwards Dave had the devil in him and he did a couple of things to annoy Robbie, he tried to steal Robbie's food and then he sat on some newly folded laundry. When it comes to food Robbie is not good at sharing, dressed only in his underwear he pursued Dave around the lounge and the kitchen flapping a tea towel at him and telling him that he doesn't steal Dave's food and he doesn't intend to share his with Dave! Robbie chased Dave up the stairs and I heard a series of expletives emanating from the bathroom. Obviously Robbie had given up on teaching him to tell the time and was now giving him a lesson in colloquial English! Robbie announced that Dave had hidden behind the bath (I didn't really blame him) but suddenly Robbie thundered down the stairs waving an aerosol can. Dave darted into the lounge in search of protection and I told Robbie to put the can down and behave himself. I am used to acting as referee in spats between Sam and Robbie (at times it is like having two teenagers), but having a row with a cat is a step too far!

The Last Word

I wonder about Robbie sometimes, he does the strangest things and when I mention it to him he always acts as if whatever he is doing is totally normal. He did exactly that this week when I caught him talking to the cat. I talk to the cat too, but unlike Robbie I don't wait for an answer! On Monday he was standing in the hall saying "hello" to Dave (the cat) and leaving a few moments for the cat to reply before repeating his greeting. After listening to several minutes of this I reminded Robbie that Dave was a cat not a parrot, but Robbie insisted that he always said hello to Dave.

The following day Dave was pestering Robbie because he wanted to be fed. Robbie stopped what he was doing to have a detailed conversation with the cat to explain that it wasn't yet feeding time. I may not have taken any notice of it if he hadn't gone on to explain the position of the big hand and the little hand on the clock that would indicate feeding time. Trying to teach a cat to tell the time really does cross the line from being a little eccentric to being downright odd!

Later this week Dave had misbehaved and Robbie told him in no uncertain terms how displeased he was. Robbie pointed at Dave as he ranted and Dave (who was sitting on the top of the laundry basket) waved his front paw at Robbie and made a menacing noise. I am not sure if Robbie understood what Dave 'said' but I am sure I could make a fair guess at his meaning - a short phrase ending in 'off'!!