Startled By Socks

Robbie is sulking because I have complained about his socks! I am fairly used to his rather loud choice of colours and patterns, but I think things have gone a bit too far. When we went to the park at the weekend I glanced down and noticed that he was wearing his see through Converse trainers with luminous yellow socks, it was a little alarming to say the least. I think he must have chosen those socks to go with his high visibility jacket!

That was not the most alarming experience with socks recently, a deeply disturbing episode happened the previous week. I usually go to bed earlier than Robbie - because he prefers to talk to the weird ones on one of his railway forums rather than enjoy my company. Anyway I went to bed just before midnight, I left the bedside light on but I snuggled under the duvet and went to sleep. Considerably later I was woken when something snatched the duvet from above and I was left to freeze. I opened my eyes to see Robbie standing on the bed wearing only a pair of luminous green socks (with orange heels and turquoise toes). He had decided that the duvet needed shaking because he thought it had gone a bit thin at the top and he was genuinely surprised by my furious response. I was ready to harm him!

My biggest objection to the multi coloured socks is that they are a pain to wash, I can't wash the yellow ones with the pink ones, and the green ones can't go in with anything else. Worse still he insists on rolling his dirty socks together in pairs, I love Robbie, but I really don't want to get up close and personal with his dirty socks! I think I will get him a wash bag to put his dark socks in, so they will stay together without being rolled up. As for the alarming colours, I can't stop him wearing them, but if they are that important to him he can wash them by hand.

A Short Lived Smile

I managed to put a smile on Robbie's face last night - I bought him some Polish Jaffa Cakes! unfortunately the smile didn't last too long he is like a bear with a sore head again this morning, but at least I know he is still capable of cracking his face. Actually he even laughed at one point last night, but that was only because he was laughing at me for not knowing who Jane Fonda is. I know now, I looked her up, she was in that L'Oreal advert, apparently she was in some films too but I didn't see any of them. When he stopped laughing at me for that he decided to test me on other people I may not know. He started with John Lydon, but I did know who he was because he was in a butter advert. I didn't know what group he was in but I don't think I would have been interested in him, I was never that interested in music and judging by the song that Robbie played last night his music wasn't exactly attractive.

Robbie says that his colleagues keep teasing him about his yellow T-shirts, I don't really understand they just pick on the yellow ones they are quite tame compared to his vivid blue one, and his lurid pink one can only be viewed with sunglasses! If that is not enough to scare you, there's always his luminous green and brown shorts. Robbie wouldn't be Robbie without his loud and slightly alarming clothes, they are just like him really!

The Trouble With Socks

Why is it that socks go into the laundry basket in pairs and emerge from the dryer determinedly single? I spent ages this evening trying to reunite lone socks with their partners, but the bag of widows and orphans seemed almost as full when I had finished. So where do all the lost socks go?
Robbie is very particular about his socks, he likes to buy them from his beloved Marks and Spencer’s. I really don’t understand what the attraction is, I have always thought of it as a geriatric paradise, and I have never bought clothing from there, it just isn’t me. Robbie on the other hand is obsessed with the place and at the slightest opportunity he will head to M&S and while away a couple of hours doing a complete stock analysis. Anyway he buys his socks mainly from there.

His taste in socks is almost as eclectic as his preference in shirts! He likes loud colours, and why settle for one loud colour when you can have loud stripes – he likes stripes! They even put in an appearance at our wedding. I have written before about the compromise we reached concerning Robbie wearing shoes rather than Dr Marten boots to get married. The little detail I had overlooked was the socks. On the day we were getting ready to leave the house when Robbie emerged wearing a very nice suit and bare feet. In his hand he carried a brand new rather noticeable pair of pink socks. There was no way that he was leaving the house in those, and after a forlorn attempt to fight his corner he headed back upstairs get some different socks. I thought nothing more about it until we were asked to sit down during the ceremony. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Robbie’s immaculate shoes and his hideous socks – they were clashing stripes of different blues. I have held a grudge against those socks ever since, but the dratted things never get separated in the wash and they show no signs of wearing out!