Least Said Soonest Mended

Photo by BJN

Life with Robbie has it's challenges as well as many pleasures and there are many occasions when I struggle to hold my tongue, but as a parent I have a lot of experience when it comes to counting to ten and keeping my thoughts to myself. I am sure my children would say that I nag, but I am careful to choose my battles. My son and I had a bit of a spat the other day, we had arranged to have a pre Christmas family day with my parents and my brother's family. 'The nameless one' was adamant that he had not been told about it and he was not happy about having his routine changed. He came with us and he had a great time, but he was still deeply annoyed about our spat mostly because Robbie had joined in and had told him several times that family comes first. I think what Robbie said was true, but you don't always achieve the best results by stating the obvious and this was one of those occasions when it would have been better to let my son calm down with as little argument as possible. When he spoke to me about it a couple of days later I told my son that I was glad that he had removed himself from the situation rather than making the argument worse. He said "Mum, do you know how often I hold my tongue? I could have written War and Peace with all the words I haven't said to Robbie!" The way he expressed it made me smile but I recognised the truth in his statement. Robbie and I argue more than may be good for us, and I there are times when I give him his answer loud and clear, but I am careful that I don't say anything I would regret later. I don't like the arguments, the making up is fun!

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My dad died over thirty years ago, I was only 6 when he became ill so there were many things that I wish I had been able to ask him but didn't have time to. I knew that he had been in the army during the latter years of the war, I even had a few pictures from that time  but I wished I knew more about what he did and where he went. It was just one of the many things that I thought I would never know. Then completely out of the blue I was contacted by someone who told me that during the war the Post Office in Northampton produced a monthly newsletter called Northampton News sharing letters home from post office workers in the forces or doing war work. My dad had been a Post Office messenger before going into the army and his letters home were among those published in Northampton News. 

The newsletters have been made available as scans, it is hard to read some of them, but I have picked through them and found the ones showing letters from dad, they start in 1943 when he was 17 and go on to 1945. It is a little glimpse of his army service in his own words so it tells us much more than his service record would show.


"On receiving the 'News' yesterday with the first mail I have had for a few days, it woke me to the fact that beside not getting any mail I hadn't had much chance of writing. We have bags of work now with our lads advancing so fast and have very little time to ourselves. I am now in Germany although I am glad to say that much of my work takes me into Holland. It seems to me that there won't be much left of Germany to occupy after the bashing it's had. I thought Caen (Normandy) was bad but it is nothing compared with some German towns. In some towns there is not one civilian left and not a house standing. Not just one or two places like this, but town after town. 


Yesterday I got into camp at 4 o'clock after a week on the road and took my truck into 'shops'. I collected it at 10.30pm. Then first thing this morning I was off again and this letter is being written in one of my few breaks on the road. That's keeping the wagon rolling isn't it?" (early 1945)


The editors of Northampton news must have made a very big difference to to all those people so far from home, but they could not possibly have known what a difference their hard work has made to me so many years later. They have given my dad a voice over thirty years after his death and they have made it possible for him to tell me about himself in his own words. I wish I could thank them, but of course it is far to late for that. I would like to thank David who realised the value of the old copies of Northampton News and not only took the time to scan them, but also made an effort to share them with relatives of the letter writers. It has helped me to understand my dad a little better and I think I have a better understanding of how worried my grandma must have felt. When he joined the army at 17 my dad was only a few months older than my son is now, that is scarily young, she must have been so frightened for him.


'Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.'  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Last Word

I wonder about Robbie sometimes, he does the strangest things and when I mention it to him he always acts as if whatever he is doing is totally normal. He did exactly that this week when I caught him talking to the cat. I talk to the cat too, but unlike Robbie I don't wait for an answer! On Monday he was standing in the hall saying "hello" to Dave (the cat) and leaving a few moments for the cat to reply before repeating his greeting. After listening to several minutes of this I reminded Robbie that Dave was a cat not a parrot, but Robbie insisted that he always said hello to Dave.

The following day Dave was pestering Robbie because he wanted to be fed. Robbie stopped what he was doing to have a detailed conversation with the cat to explain that it wasn't yet feeding time. I may not have taken any notice of it if he hadn't gone on to explain the position of the big hand and the little hand on the clock that would indicate feeding time. Trying to teach a cat to tell the time really does cross the line from being a little eccentric to being downright odd!

Later this week Dave had misbehaved and Robbie told him in no uncertain terms how displeased he was. Robbie pointed at Dave as he ranted and Dave (who was sitting on the top of the laundry basket) waved his front paw at Robbie and made a menacing noise. I am not sure if Robbie understood what Dave 'said' but I am sure I could make a fair guess at his meaning - a short phrase ending in 'off'!!

Not Good For The Ego

Everyone knows that Robbie is unique, that's what makes him special, but why does he have speak his thoughts? On Sunday morning was our only chance to get up late, Robbie and I were cuddled up in bed and I thought I had his full attention until he announced the time, then a series of destinations. The local bus had just gone past and Robbie had not only noticed it, but felt compelled to announce the full timetable! Obviously I didn't have his full attention after all!

Finding The Right Words

Those of you who know Robbie will know that words are the one thing he is never short of. If fact the opposite is true, it is almost impossible to get him to shut up, he can talk endlessly about anything under the sun and you can rely on him to lower the tone whenever there is the slightest opportunity. He talks and talks and talks - he can fit more words into a minute than anyone else I know.

Being lost for words is a new experience for Robbie, but in the circumstances I am not surprised that he is struggling. He has been asked to speak at his friend's funeral, there is so much that he wants to say, but putting the feelings you have deep inside into words is not so easy, and finding exactly the right words to express how much Chris meant as a friend and colleague is difficult. It is almost impossible to sum up the qualities of a close friend in just a few brief sentences, but one thing is undeniable Chris knew how to live well. He loved his work, but it didn't rule his life, he filled his leisure time with all the things that were important to him. He packed a lot of living into not quite 40 years. I don't know if Robbie's words will adequately paint a picture of his friend, or express how keenly Robbie feels his loss. I can't do much to help, but I can at least make sure everyone will understand his words - I have be making him practice speaking slowly!