Light the blue touch paper and ............................RUN!!

Sparks have been flying in our house. A week or so ago Robbie told me that I looked like a trout and when he realised that his words had upset me he tried to make it better by telling me that he didn't mean my whole face, just my mouth! 


He was forgiven eventually but clearly he hadn't learnt his lesson because a couple of days later he ruffled my hair and told me that I had so much grey hair that I must be ancient - has he looked in a mirror recently? I told him that my 'trout features' and my grey hair don't bother me because I don't have to look at them, but since I endure the sight of his imperfections without comment, maybe he could do the same.


I thought he had got the message, but yesterday while we were out on the train he picked up book about railway rover tickets. One minute he was sitting quietly reading, the next minute his voice boomed out across the carriage to inform the world and his wife about how soon I will be entitled to an age related discount. I gave him a withering stare and informed him that he may not survive that long! As if that wasn't enough for one day he got cross with me about something totally unimportant and informed me that I was a "moany, cantankerous old woman". I chose not to reply but when he saw my expression he looked terrified, I wasn't sure if he was going to run away or hide under the table!!The cat gives me a similar look when I catch him raiding the bin!


Believe it or not he had been forgiven by this morning. We popped into the supermarket for a few essentials and as we stood in the queue he very loudly admired the packaging design of some personal products that I did not wish to draw attention to. I gave him 'the look' but instead of shutting up he became more vocal. I fixed him with a glare and told him firmly that it is not necessary for every thought he has to come out through his mouth!!


I hope he has now got the message, but if not I will start sharing some of my thoughts with him - I don't think he will like it!

Full Length Mirrors!!

The alarm woke me up from a rather confused dream, I don’t recall the detail of the dream but I know that the alarm became part of it. I must have spent about 20 minutes pushing the snooze button in my sleep before I woke up properly. I realised that if we were going to fulfil Robbie's plan for the day we needed to get moving – so I kicked him out of bed to go and make the sandwiches and I rolled over and went back to sleep! After all he is the one that wanted to go, so the least he could do was to make the sandwiches. He woke me again with a cup of tea and I grudgingly agreed to face the day. To be absolutely honest he wanted to go to London on a Chiltern Service and I didn’t want to go. I’d travelled on a Chiltern service from London to Birmingham last year and it was a very bad journey, so I wasn’t keen to repeat the experience, but if it was so important to Robbie I couldn’t very well refuse to go.

The omens were not good when we arrived at the station car park to find lots of empty parking spaces, but the pay and display machine wasn’t working so Robbie had to run around the car park looking for one that worked. When we finally got that sorted out we walked to the station building to find that London Midland had taken poor service to a new low. The queues at the ticket office were longer than the queues for the Next sale! According to the man when we finally got to the front of the queue this was because they were one person short on the ticket desks. It was impossible to hear what the man at the ticket desk was saying, so that added to the time taken by each customer and caused general confusion. For those that survived the car park and the queues the man on the ticket barrier was ‘cheerfulness personified’ I am not sure if he was there to check tickets or to repel all boarders!

I thought things would get better from that point but I was wrong. It was almost time for the train to go and it was almost out of sight at the far end of the platform. It was so far away that it was practically at Kings Heath!! Robbie made me run, we caught the train but it set my asthma off and left me struggling to breathe. Undeterred Robbie marched me through carriage after carriage in search of exactly the right seat. When we were finally seated and I had recovered the power of speech I begged Robbie not to make me run anymore today. His suggestion that I should keep my inhaler close by did not fill me with hope, so I told him in no uncertain terms that my running days are over.

Usually the London Midland train managers are good, but we got the exception that proves the rule, she looked a mess and she was inarticulate. Announcements matter to people, they need to be clear and easy to understand, but she failed on both counts. This became more important later in the journey when it was announced that the train would be terminating at Birmingham International. This left a lot of confused and upset passengers who didn’t understand what was happening and were worried about missing connections, so Robbie did his best to help the people around us.

To be fair, he didn’t make me run between platforms at Birmingham International, it was more of a trot, but it wasn’t a good experience. I guess it was worth it because we completed our journey to New Street on a Virgin Pendolino with an excellent train manager. Robbie was getting very wound up because the points failure near New Street that had interrupted our journey had made us very late and we were in danger of missing our connection at Moor Street. When we arrived at New Street Robbie left the train like a greyhound out of a trap, weaving around people, dodging obstacles (there were plenty of them) and generally making a quick getaway. I was left to trot along behind trying not to lose him. When we got outside I had to beg him to walk more slowly even if it meant missing the train, he was not a happy chap, but he did slow down. We didn’t have time to admire Moor Street, it looks like a pleasant station, but we did make our connection with a whole minute to spare!

We were travelling to London Marylebone in the Business Zone on a Chiltern Railways mainline loco hauled service. All I really cared about was being able to sit down and get my breath back. I must admit that the seat was quite comfortable; at least my legs didn’t dangle in the air like they do on an HST!  It was a fairly pleasant environment except that the p.a system didn’t work, properly, it sounded very faint and you couldn’t hear what was being said. It didn’t worry me too much because I was getting off at Marylebone but it would have mattered more if I had wanted to get off at one of the other stations it stopped at.

To be fair there wasn’t much else to complain about except the tea which was almost as putrid as Cross Country tea, surely a decent cup of tea is not too much to hope for, it is not rocket science! There was one other unnerving aspect to the journey, the toilet. It was clean enough, and it was certainly big enough, but it must have been designed by a man. The toilet roll dispenser would be within easy reach of the right hand for a person standing up, but a person who is seated has to reach behind over their left shoulder to reach it, not the easiest manoeuvre. Even worse there is a full length mirror which gives a full view of you seated on the ‘throne’ – unnerving to say the least! A man would be able to turn his back on the mirror but anyone sitting can’t avoid the view.

There is not much to say about Marylebone Station except that the toilets were seriously grim. I know that part of London well enough not to get too badly lost, so as we only had about an hour in London we went for a walk to have a quick look at 221b Baker Street.  Then it was back to the station in time to buy a coffee and head for our train. We had the same train manager on the on the way back, she was very good, but despite her best efforts she couldn’t do much with the internet connection which was patchy to say the least. 

When we got back to Moor Street I made sure that we walked back to New Street at a manageable speed. I couldn’t run for another train if my life depended on it! We had plenty of time before our train was due to leave, so we paid a quick visit to WH Smith to buy a magazine. Then back to the platform for the best part of my day, a Virgin Pendolino to Rugby, a perfect journey despite the mad man swearing at the top of his voice in the quiet coach!

The final part of our journey to Northampton on a London Midland service was uneventful but noisy; Robbie said that he is longing for the children to go back to school! Northampton Station was calmer, but no more welcoming than when we left this morning. There is one part of the station that deserves praise, the toilets. They are always clean and well looked after and they are free!

Decisions, Decisions

We had a rather unusual Friday evening. We were going out to a rather special event on Saturday and the only instruction was to wear something that we would feel comfortable in. To me comfortable means something that will not dig in when I sit down and something that makes me feel reasonably confident (or at least something that doesn't make me look like the back of a bus) I had thought about it during the week and by Friday evening I knew exactly what I wanted to wear, Robbie on the other hand hadn't  given it any thought until Friday evening. Asked my advice and I suggested jeans and his red T-shirt, but he rejected that idea on the grounds that it was not smart enough, then he vanished.

He reappeared after a few minutes wearing only his pants (scary) and clutching a selection of clothes. He appeared in front of me wearing a tucked in coloured check shirt and his smart casual charcoal trousers. The trousers are very nice and the shirt is OK but together they made him look 'special' with just a touch of the Simon Cowell waistband going on. I gave him a very firm no, but being Robbie he kept asking why so we had to have an in depth discussion about it. Robbie tried several more outfits, and that annoying word 'why' popped up far too often. In the end I felt as if I was trapped in an endless episode of Mr Benn, there was far too much dressing up going on. I wonder how Mr Benn's wife felt about all that dressing up, it was very dubious. We ended up more or less where we started, Robbie decided to wear his jeans with a nice shirt - tucked out.  The whole experience made me recall a cartoon that I saw recently, men and women really do see things differently when they look in the mirror!

The Sights You See ...................

Now I know why they say that you should be careful what you wish for. I am fairly used to sharing the house with assorted teenagers (and a 36 year old who closely identifies with his inner child!) so I am used to challenging behaviour of one kind or another. I have been wishing that a certain 14 year old would grow out of his aversion water, and that our daily battles about having a shower would be a thing of the past. My wish came true! He has discovered the joys of soap in a big way. Every time I go into the bathroom it looks as if there has just been a tidal wave, there are so many lotions and potions around the bath that it it takes me ages to move everything before I clean the bath. He uses so much shampoo, shower gel, deodorant, aftershave and assorted smelly stuff that breathing apparatus is required before entering the bathroom, but there is something even worse than all that. He balances a great big mirror behind the taps at the edge of the bath! The last thing I want is to sit and look at myself when I am in the bath, and when Robbie is in the shower - no I will not go on, some images are just shouldn't be imagined. I keep removing the mirror and it keeps mysteriously reappearing. I almost find myself longing for the old days!