As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. Ellen Perry Berkele

Returning home from holiday felt like coming back to reality with a bump. We still have the huge cloud of the disputed CSA arrears hanging over us, as well as various other worries and uncertainties, and I really need to find another job. When we walked into the house there was no one there to welcome us, no wagging tail, just a dog shaped space where Meg should have been, I am really going to miss her, she was part of our family.

The cats were doing their own thing, Oreo was at the top of the stairs watching the birds out of the window and Dave was dozing on the sofa, he chose not to notice our arrival. Usually he would come to me straight away, but when I put my hand out to touch him he turned away, making it very clear that he was not happy with me. We had loads to do on Sunday evening, so there wasn't much time to think about Dave, but he managed to radiate disapproval, he was punishing me for going away and leaving him. He kept up the hostility until lunchtime on Monday, then when I sat down with my laptop he came and sat on the back of my chair, then after a little while I noticed that he had moved silently on to my lap and was purring loudly - I had been forgiven!


'For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.' Anon

Secret Vices

Robbie managed to convince me that he is sorry, so despite my suspicion that he is more sorry about being found out than about what he did wrong in the first place, he is forgiven. It was a strange Saturday morning because Robbie was actually here for a change! Well to be more accurate he was mostly here. We didn't plan on getting up too early, but each time Robbie went downstairs there was a long delay before he returned. When he went down to make a cup of tea he was gone so long that I thought he'd gone to milk the cow! He found a couple more reasons to go downstairs and I was becoming suspicious, something or someone was monopolising his attention. I listened carefully and I could tell he was in the lounge, but I had no idea what he was up to. There was very little movement and I couldn't hear him talking, so I was suspicious, you never know what he will get up to if you don't keep an eye on him. He did his best to distract me, in fact he did a fairly good job of distracting me for a while. He even made me that bacon sandwich he owed me, but then he vanished and he didn't return. I left him to it, to lull him into a false sense of security, I was determined to find out. When he popped up to offer me more tea I asked casually what he was doing and he mentioned 'MTV and Stuff'. Later on I casually wandered into the lounge and there was the evidence - he has a new book and he can't put it down! I can't quite see the attraction, it is called On Track Plant . When I commented on it he got so excited that I thought he would burst. Oh well, I suppose it keeps him out of trouble!

Missed

The weather has been lovely over the last few days, I love this time of year when the whole summer stretches ahead of us. I'm not sure my children would agree with me, Sam is suffering badly with hay fever, Laura is just about to start exam leave for her AS Level exams and Emily has exams looming at university. Sam has started on his medication, so hopefully his hay fever will improve soon. The oil seed rape is in flower and the countryside around here is a mass of yellow, I hate the smell and the pollen upsets my asthma so I will be glad when the flowers are gone. It really annoys me that I have asthma, I didn't develop it until I was an adult and I don't understand why, I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.

I had to go to town yesterday to buy birthday presents for Imogen, the youngest (and probably the loudest) of our children, she will be 9 later this month. Imogen looks so much like Robbie, she can be very strong willed but she has a lovely side to he nature, when asked what she wants for her birthday or Christmas she doesn't provide a long list of desires, she just says that she will be happy with anything. So we have spent the last few weeks trying to think of things that she will really like. I can't tell you what we have bought, that's top secret, but it involved me trudging around town until my legs almost dropped off. It was a successful trip and now I have plenty of wrapping up to do.

For those who are wondering if Robbie was forgiven after yesterday's blog entry, yes, I never stay cross with him for long. There was another points failure yesterday so he was late home again, it is so frustrating. He was home just long enough to eat his meal before dashing out to sort out Marion's wayward router again, it was an AOL server problem - again!. When I picked him up from Marion's house he said "I missed ..." and just for a split second I thought he was going to tell me that he had missed me (we have hardly seen each other this week), but it was something far more important - he had missed one of his favourite TV programs! It was late so I went to bed and left him watching the repeat of his program. Oh well at least I had peace and quiet!

To Tell the Truth ...................

Robbie fell over as he was getting off the train yesterday morning. He had only bought a new suit a few days ago and I am ashamed to say that when he told me about the fall I enquired about the suit before I asked about him. The suit survived unscathed but Robbie hurt his hand and his dignity was seriously affected; the platform proved surprisingly resilient. It could have been much worse, I do worry about him, I wish we could find a way to keep him upright.

Why are men such dreadful liars? OK I know that is a huge generalisation, but I am cross so please make allowances. Just for once I am not having a go at Network Rail, but come to think of it the same thing applies to them, if they want to mislead us, at least they could make the effort to do it convincingly instead of treating us all as if we are fools! I was actually getting at Robbie. He knows from bitter experience that I have a built in lie detector and it is not easy to pull the wool over my eyes, but it doesn't stop him trying! This week I caught him in out, there was no disputing the 'evidence', it had his fingerprints all over it, but he clung stubbornly to his version of the situation. Establishing the truth really is like pulling teeth. It makes me so cross that he assumes I a stupid enough to accept his version, as far as I am concerned the original 'misdemeanour' is never worth a lie, because most things can be put right or overcome. I wonder if it is a case of arrested development, you know that phase when a toddler learns to play hide and seek and they think that if they can't see you then you cant see them - they don't realise that their rear end is poking out from behind the sofa for all to see! I wonder if men ever progress beyond that stage - or maybe they just enjoy getting caught! I have found that admitting a mistake or omission, apologising and asking for help to put it right will get a much more favourable response than denial or trying to blame the others. Maybe Network Rail should give it a try sometime, we would all be shocked into stunned silence, so at least they would have a quiet few days! Just for the record, Robbie has been forgiven!

Robbie was on form last night in terms of random statements. We has just been shopping at Morrisons and he got into the car after parking the trolley and said "I will have to wash my high visibility vest before April". I expect he was thinking about trains and charters, but it made me laugh because it made me think of Harry Potter and the invisibility cloak. Robbie is high visibility all the time, vest or no vest!