The first step, my son, which one makes in the world, is the one on which depends the rest of our days - Voltaire

I'd had a rather challenging time at work yesterday and by the time I got home I was exhausted. As I sat down on the sofa with a welcome cup of tea, my daughter looked up from marking a pile of exercise books and asked if my son had told me about Northampton - he hadn't. Her face was serious and I felt a jolt of dread inside me as I asked if he'd heard about his university interview. My daughter told me that he had, then it seemed as if time stood still as I waited for her to tell me more. Then suddenly she was speaking again and her words "he got an offer" echoed inside my head.

I was so pleased for my son. Of course it is only the first step, now he has to work hard and get the required grades as well as getting as much classroom experience as he can in the next few months. Where did all those years go, it doesn't seem possible that my son can be making plans to go to university! It makes me feel very old, but I am very proud of him.

A Good Drying Day

When I woke up on Thursday morning I was surprised to find that it was already a beautiful sunny day, so I decided to strike while the iron was hot and get some washing out - it was dry in a couple of hours! To be honest I was feeling a bit anxious because today was A level results day and my son had to go and pick up his AS Level exam results. It seemed to take forever but eventually the phone rang and his sister informed me that he had got good grades. My son then came on the phone, for just long enough for me to congratulate him, then he handed me back to his sister, I don't think he has any idea how how much I worry about him at times!

I didn't really want to go anywhere today the garden and the beach are all we need and the weather is perfect, but the lure of the beach cafe drew us to Mundesley for a late lunch. The food was excellent and better still they have mastered the art of making a good cup of tea, in fact their pot of tea for one provided two full cups of tea and the milk jug contained plenty of milk. The beach was busy but the tide was out so there was plenty of room for everyone. I was tempted to go for a stroll on the beach at Mundesley, but in the end we decided to head back to our beach at Walcott instead. Robbie doesn't paddle, but I love it so we strolled along the beach with me splashing about in the shallows and him keeping a safe distance. This year I asserted my independence and bought a pair of Crocs, much to the disgust of my daughters. For years they have told me that it would be too embarrassing for words if I wore Crocs, but I decided that they will just have to come to terms with the embarrassment because I needed some comfortable and practical holiday footwear. They are the most comfortable shoes i have ever worn, so I think I will wear them at home too!!

On Target

In a way I had been dreading Thursday morning, what if the unthinkable happened, what would I do then? The problem was that I was not in control, I had done my best or at least I thought I had, but this wasn't about me. All I could do was get on with my morning and wait for the phone to ring. 


At last the phone took pity on me and rang. A rather cheerful voice at the other end informed me that he had passed. He had some very pleasing results and most important of all he had got more than enough to get into the sixth form of his choice. After a huge sigh of relief, I was the proud mum full of congratulations and cross with myself for my moments of doubt.


So why was I so anxious, I don't recall being this nervous when his sisters got their results. He is every bit as bright and able as his sisters, but perhaps not as diligent. The girls were able to continue to the sixth form at the same school, but 'the son who must remain nameless' wanted to change schools. We all agreed that it would be the best option for him, and he had been offered a place at the better school (the one his sisters attended) but he needed at least 8 good GCSE grades in order to take up his place. Perhaps it isn't so surprising that I was anxious, so much depended on his results.


Today I took 'the nameless one' to the new school for a meeting to sort out his timetable and do all the necessary  paperwork before starting school a week on Tuesday. He will be one of only a handful of boys at an all girls school, but I am certain it is the right place for him. It is not always easy for him to cope with ordinary things because of his Asperger Syndrome, but the next couple of years will be very important not just in achieving good A level results but in helping him to become independent enough to thrive at university. 

No Easy Answers

Robbie and I were rather anxious when we went to the hospital to see his consultant yesterday. We were surprised to find that we didn't have to wait very long until Robbie was called into the consulting room. The consultant explained that the MRI scan had been worthwhile because they were able to get some good pictures of Robbies spine and the pictures had been reviewed by a specialist at Oxford. As expected there was clear evidence of the damage caused by his spina bifida and they could see that his spinal cord was significantly longer than normal with less smaller branches coming from it. The good new was that there is nothing on the scan pictures to suggest that there is any tethering of the cord at the moment. There were words of caution too, Robbie should never have a lumbar puncture or any procedure on his lower back because it could cause serious damage. So the messsage was to keep walking, to accept the falling over and the pain as just part of him and to take great care of his lower back because if anything goes wrong with it they will not be able to put it right. It sounds a bit grim and it would have been nice if we could have found a way to stop the falls and to deal with the pain, but we didn't really expect that. I think we just have to be grateful that the news was as good as we could have hoped for. So now he just has to learn to bounce when he falls over and hopefully he will try not to fall in front of a car or a train!

Results

Results Thursday 16th August 2007

There were two reasons for waking early this morning, Robbie had chosen today for his day off 'playing trains' on the North Norfolk Railway but more importantly this was the day Emily had awaited and dreaded in almost equal measure. A Level results are due this morning and depending on those all important grades she her conditional place at Leicester University would either be confirmed or denied. Every parent wants their child to do well and I am no exception, but whatever her ultimate grades I knew that Emily had worked very hard and if she had done her best that was good enough for me. I knew that Emily was feeling anxious and I was glad that she would be going into school with friends to get the results.

We needed to leave the bungalow no later than 9.30 at the latest in order to drop Robbie at North Walsham on time to catch his train. As usual he turned the luxury of time into a last minute rush and I left him still getting ready while Sam and I got the car out ready to go. As I put my mobile into hands free thingy a text popped up to tell me that I had a voice message, it was too early for the results and I retrieved the message anxiously. Emily's voice sounding young and tired informed me that she didn't have her results yet, but she had been on to the UCAS website and it showed that her place at Leicester University had been confirmed. I was startled to find tears of relief (and perhaps pride) running down my cheeks. The last few years have been hard for us all but despite the loss of their dad the girls have made the most of their educational opportunities and they have enjoyed their friends and lots of other out of school activities too. I knew that Eric would have been proud of them both. It has been a little different for Sam as he was so much younger, but despite his Aspergers he is also getting on well.

At about 10am I dropped Robbie at the Station and the phone rang, Emily's excited voice told me that she had got her longed for grades and despite her fears, that longed for A in English had not eluded her. I was so pleased for her, now she could look forward to a celebration with her friends. Sam and I headed off to Wroxham Barns for a day without trains. We began with a visit to the farm, it has been a favourite with Sam since he was tiny. He loves being able to feed and touch the animals, the goats are my favourite but Sam loves them all. This time a ferret called Jet seemed to fascinate him and a litter of 15 piglets with their mum attracted a lot of attention too. A large and hungry goat was not satisfied with several handfuls of food, he decided to have a go at my Animal handbag as well, but I managed to pull it away just in time. Two donkey's had perfected the art of illusion and by moving further along the fence while the other donkey was being fed the one who had already been feed managed to look as if he was a different donkey who was still waiting for something to eat. This was obviously a well practised routine and it had Sam in fits of laughter.

After the farm we visited the shops and Sam bought a couple of stones for his collection. We also enjoyed a visit to the amusement area where Sam had several goes at the rifle shooting and his old favourite the remote controlled cars. Finally we went back to the farm as Sam hoped to catch one of the hensin the act of laying an egg! They have constructed the coups with little peepholes and the children find it fascinating. It was nice to have a few hours back to the bungalow and Sam spent some time on the beach picking up interesting stones. Robbie eventually arrived back in the evening having spent the day travelling backwards and forwards on the North Norfolk Railway. I sat in the car waiting for him and all the other passengers walked round from the train, got into their cars and disappeared into the night, but still there was no sign of Robbie. I waited in the deserted car park wondering where he was when a familiar figure with a back pack plodded into view with all the urgency of a turkey approaching Christmas. He was a little evasive about his lateness at first but he grudgingly admitted that he had been jotting down numbers again! He was exhausted after his busy day - but not too tired to talk non stop - about trains!