Least Said Soonest Mended

Photo by BJN

Life with Robbie has it's challenges as well as many pleasures and there are many occasions when I struggle to hold my tongue, but as a parent I have a lot of experience when it comes to counting to ten and keeping my thoughts to myself. I am sure my children would say that I nag, but I am careful to choose my battles. My son and I had a bit of a spat the other day, we had arranged to have a pre Christmas family day with my parents and my brother's family. 'The nameless one' was adamant that he had not been told about it and he was not happy about having his routine changed. He came with us and he had a great time, but he was still deeply annoyed about our spat mostly because Robbie had joined in and had told him several times that family comes first. I think what Robbie said was true, but you don't always achieve the best results by stating the obvious and this was one of those occasions when it would have been better to let my son calm down with as little argument as possible. When he spoke to me about it a couple of days later I told my son that I was glad that he had removed himself from the situation rather than making the argument worse. He said "Mum, do you know how often I hold my tongue? I could have written War and Peace with all the words I haven't said to Robbie!" The way he expressed it made me smile but I recognised the truth in his statement. Robbie and I argue more than may be good for us, and I there are times when I give him his answer loud and clear, but I am careful that I don't say anything I would regret later. I don't like the arguments, the making up is fun!

Finding The Right Words

Those of you who know Robbie will know that words are the one thing he is never short of. If fact the opposite is true, it is almost impossible to get him to shut up, he can talk endlessly about anything under the sun and you can rely on him to lower the tone whenever there is the slightest opportunity. He talks and talks and talks - he can fit more words into a minute than anyone else I know.

Being lost for words is a new experience for Robbie, but in the circumstances I am not surprised that he is struggling. He has been asked to speak at his friend's funeral, there is so much that he wants to say, but putting the feelings you have deep inside into words is not so easy, and finding exactly the right words to express how much Chris meant as a friend and colleague is difficult. It is almost impossible to sum up the qualities of a close friend in just a few brief sentences, but one thing is undeniable Chris knew how to live well. He loved his work, but it didn't rule his life, he filled his leisure time with all the things that were important to him. He packed a lot of living into not quite 40 years. I don't know if Robbie's words will adequately paint a picture of his friend, or express how keenly Robbie feels his loss. I can't do much to help, but I can at least make sure everyone will understand his words - I have be making him practice speaking slowly!

Sound Effects

Robbie was late home from work again today and when I left work he was waiting for me in the car park so that he could get a lift home. I love him dearly, but at times like that I wish he could be a little more 'normal', last time he turned up wearing that dreaded flasher mac and today he had his white London Underground umbrella!

He told me a funny story on the way home. This morning he was in he bathroom on 'the throne' when he became aware that he could hear faint music and someone was talking to him. It wasn't 'heavenly' music so he had no fear that he was about to 'do an Elvis' and meet his maker in the bathroom. This was much more down to earth music, and it bothered him, he couldn't believe that someone would be thoughtless enough to have their radio on in the street at 5am loud enough for him to hear it. He then remembered that the bathroom is at the back of the house, so he deduced that the offending radio must be in our garden, but he wasn't in a position to go an investigate straight away. Thankfully the neighbours were spared the vision of Robbie in his smalls searching for a radio in the back garden, because he found the source of the mystery music before he left the house. We have two radios in the bathroom, ours (tuned to Radio 4) and theirs (tuned to something else). One of the children had turned their radio down to almost nothing instead of turning it off!

On the subject of mystery noises, the previous day Robbie and Emily searched the lounge for a phone that kept vibrating. It wasn't a phone, it was the cat snoring!

What Did You Say?

I think there is a conspiracy in our house. The children insist that I am going deaf and they never miss an opportunity to make jokes at my expense. I am not going deaf, I can hear perfectly well if they speak properly, but most of the time they have their music blaring out making it more difficult to hear. It would help if they didn't mumble, sometimes when I hear them talking to their friends I wonder if they speak English at all, it seems like a spoken version of text language and teenage boys seem to converse in a series of monosyllabic grunts. I find Robbie hard to understand partly because he talks constantly about trains and partly because he speaks far too fast and I still find his accent challenging at times because he uses regional words that I have never encountered before.

Our cats are very good communicators, there is just one problem - they lie! This morning they put on an Oscar winning performance to try to convince me that Robbie had not fed them, but I knew that he had and their efforts were wasted.

On the subject of deafness I think it is the children who have trouble hearing – selective deafness. Any instruction, to pick it up, clear it up or switch it off seems to fall on deaf ears.