A women who doesn't wear perfume has no future - Coco Chanel

Since the new year I have been writing in my Question and Answer Journal every day. The questions seem very simple but when you attempt answer them you find that they have hidden depth. 

Today's question was simple enough 'What is your favourite accessory?' but when I asked other members of my family I found that everyone had a definition of accessory. In the end I decided that accessories include bags, jewellery, belts, sun glasses, hats, scarves, gloves etc. My daughter (who rivals Imelda Marcos when it comes to shoes) insists that shoes are accessories, but for me they are more functional so I did not include them in my definition of an accessory.

Even when I had decided what counts as an accessory I still couldn't answer the question. Usually I don't really bother with accessories, I am a very practical down to earth sort of person and I mostly think of clothes as functional more than fashionable. My handbag is important to me but it is a necessity rather than an accessory. I have a couple of other handbags in my wardrobe but I hardly ever change bags because it is far too complicated - on the other hand my daughter changes her handbag to suit her outfit. I have one or two necklaces that I like and sometimes I wear a broach but they are not exactly favourite accessories. When it comes to jewellery my wedding ring and my eternity ring are my most treasured possessions, but they are far to precious to be thought of as accessories. So having eliminated the other things, the choice was easy, my perfume is my favourite accessory.

If I asked Robbie the same question he would probably provide me with a very long list of favourites. It would not surprise me if a bag was close to the top of the list, Robbie loves man bags, rucksacks, briefcases, in fact he loves bags and wallets of all kinds.Then he would have to consider his cufflinks, he loves cufflinks and has lots of favourites among his large collection but if he had to select just one pair I think he would perhaps choose the Lego ones.

Indulging a Passion

Robbie sends me lots of texts. Some are rants, usually these start with the word 'farce' and go on to detail the difficulties he has experienced during his journey. Some are more enthusiastic, they usually start with 'helfire' and go on to provide extremenly detailed extremely detailed information about something (usually railway related) that has pleased him. Then there are the random information texts, they always begin with 'did you know?' Other categories of text include excuses, apologies, loving texts and my absolute favourite, the sort that make you laugh out loud. 


I got one of those 'laugh out loud' texts a couple of days ago, "Just off to Marsh Barton on the bus to get my briefcase serviced :D x x" When you live with Robbie, the ability to filter out his constant chatter is an essential skill. I had probably filtered out whole conversations I vaguely remember him mentioning the word briefcase once or twice, but that is all. I laughed at the text because the way he phrased it made me think of stud farms and such like. I wondered how exactly briefcases are serviced, but I didn't remain ignorant for very long, he spent all evening telling me about it!    


Robbie likes bags of all kinds, he loves his rucksack, but briefcases are his passion and he is the proud owner of a Henry Tomkins handmade leather briefcase. He wants to keep it in tip top condition so he took it in to be serviced. He couldn't stop talking about the fantastic customer service - in fact leather bags and briefcases were his only topic of conversation all evening! 


http://www.htleather.co.uk/catalogue/briefcase/briefcase.html#lite

The Vanishing Trick

I wasn't too happy with Robbie on Sunday night. He was telling me all weekend that he was looking forward to getting home, and he promised me lots of attention. He spent the evening listening to train noises on YouTube, then when I told him that I was going to bed he said he would be there in a minute. He even came up to bring me a drink and to tell me that he just had to lock the front door and put the dog out before coming to bed, then he vanished. I waited and waited, but after an hour I gave up and went to sleep. He finally arrived over an hour and a half late and he got a very short answer when he tried to cuddle up to me. I didn't get a chance to discuss his vanishing act with him until this morning, We went through the usual ritual, first he denied it, then he said he was mistaken about the time, then finally he admitted it. He was doing something that he has to do in private, he doesn't like talking to me about it, but apparently it really did take him an hour and a half - he was packing his bag for work!!

Robbie was unwell this morning, he had 'the trots' and being Robbie I was treated to a detailed account of his troubles. He got ready for work as usual, but then he came into the lounge and announced that he felt dreadful and he had a really bad sore throat. I suggested that going to work wasn't the wisest move, even if it wasn't swine flu, he wouldn't be popular if he passed on his troubles to everyone else in the office. In the end he decided to work from home today. To be honest I am a bit worried about Swine Flu, I have been in contact with it, but I hope that Robbie just has a nice ordinary bug. I was OK this morning, but then I developed similar symptoms and I had to come home from work feeling very unwell.

Drooping Dimensions and Other Difficulties!

Robbie went back to work today and I thought I would find myself writing about getting back into our normal routine after the holidays, but that will have to wait for another day. The silence from Robbie during the day was deafening, he said he was busy but I think he was just enjoying being back at work and working on his beloved train plans. It was a very different story when he got home, I couldn't shut him up, he was so cross it was just a constant stream of moans – about Rail Express! The reason for his fury is that they have changed the size of the magazine, it is now larger and as Robbie keeps pointing out, it is a non standard size. It will no longer fir in his briefcase properly and it messes up his magazine piles because it is too big. Worse of all, when he reads it on the train it 'wilts' when he holds it open to read it on the train, so the pages get damaged. If he goes on about problems with 'wilt' all weekend the magazine will be the least of his worried. Rail Express really should be more considerate, they must know what train people are like, I wonder how many wives and partners have had to put up with a whole evening of moans!

Living Dangerously! 12.03.08

I told Robbie about my computer problem yesterday evening as we were on our way to the supermarket. I was astounded by his response especially as he had experienced his own computer troubles fairly recently. He said that he he'd been wondering where that collar stiffener had gone and that I would have to get it out as he needed it. He then went on to wonder out loud how he could find a replacement if he couldn't get the original back. I don't think he needs to worry about collar stiffeners, the sort of stiffness on my mind was rigor mortis, I felt almost murderous!

Robbie was in high spirits (despite the loss of his collar stiffener) because his new briefcase had been delivered. I think it was another birthday present to himself - it is his birthday on Saturday. He has almost as many briefcases as Laura has handbags, but I did manage to force a major concession - he has agreed to throw his old briefcase away!

Essentials 04.01.08

I'm fed up with this 5am performance. This morning found us trundling off to Kettering again, even the birds don't get up that early. Poor old Robbie is finding the long journey time exhausting, he didn't get back to Kettering until 8pm and by the time we got home it was almost 9pm, it isn't a bundle of laughs for me either. Allegedly everything will be back to normal tomorrow, but I won't be holding my breath. If Network Rail have done the work at Rugby it is a pretty safe bet that something will go wrong when the line is back in use, but I wouldn't be surprised if they haven't done the new overhead work, they have probably had to put it back as it was just to get the line back in use and bring an end to the torrent of bad publicity. Who would have thought that they could upset so many people in so little time; perhaps they are aiming for some sort of record!

Anyway after a long and frustrating day at work you would expect Robbie to want to talk about ordinary family stuff on the way home, but that would be a bit too normal for Robbie. He gave me a detailed account of his new system for packing his briefcase! Apparently he only carries essential items with him now. Rather foolishly I asked what he included in the list of essential items and he reeled off a list that took him about ten minutes to recount. First on his list were his complete collection of quail (railway) maps, then his Platform 5 complete guide to all locomotives and coaching stock - absolutely essential obviously! He has a selection of diagrams to work on during his journeys, his ipod, spare batteries in assorted sizes, a selection of pens, pencils, erasers and a pack of spare leads, imagine being stranded with no lead in your pencil! He also takes his flask, his mobile phone, the latest issue of NME, a selection of railway magazines, a couple of notebooks, a massive selection of train keys, his laptop, the charger and assorted sundries. Thank goodness he only carries essentials, most people take less than that when they go away for a week!

Shopaholic. 10.10.07

We certainly have an exciting life! This evening was a little more tranquil than yesterday and Robbie had time to show me the full glory of his new bag. He brought it into the lounge to show me the concealed handle and the various height positions, he then demonstrated how easily it can be carried with the shoulder strap, but the best was yet to come. He plunged the room into darkness to demonstrate the light that is clipped to the inside of the bag, and thanks to a retractable lead the light can be directed into any of the many pockets. Finally he showed me the drink holder and as always he provided intricate details. I was starting to think that there is only so much enthusiasm that one person (even Robbie) can express about a briefcase without attracting unwanted attention from men in white coats! I was wrong, when he suddenly discovered a concealed pencil case in the bag, I thought he was going to burst with excitement. I shouldn't moan, at least he seems to have accepted the need for a briefcase on wheels.

I hardly had time to recover from all that excitement before the main entertainment of the evening began. I told Robbie about a BOGOF offer on cat food at Tesco and I had also found a code to get £10 off the order for home delivery. Robbie loves to shop, even for cat food and we are now expecting a delivery of 20 boxes of Oreo's favourite food between 9pm and 11pm tomorrow night! I was coping well up to that point, and even joked about him needing to build an extension, but when he announced that he intended to order another 20 boxes tomorrow I started to panic. After the first order Oreo will have 160 pouches of food, we couldn't possibly store any more! I don't think there can possibly be anyone else quite like Robbie

Travel Traumas 10.10.07

Robbie had terrible journeys to and from work yesterday. His train arrived at the station more or less on time in the morning but it remained rooted to the spot for over 40 minutes as it lacked one vital ingredient - train crew. Apparently there was some sort of obstruction at Coventry and they had been stranded. His homeward journey departed on time but it terminated at Rugby due to multiple signal failure. I received a series of increasingly frustrated calls from Robbie, but eventually they were on the move again and Robbie estimated that he would be at Northampton by 7.35pm. I was having my own day from hell, car problems, road works causing massive delays and children needing me to be in two different places at the same time, but I agreed to collect him. More phone calls and the time was gradually pushed back, until at 8pm I had to abandon my wait for Robbie and dash across town to pick up Sam from his school. He had been helping at a parents evening as a science representative. He should have been ready by 8.15pm at the latest, but after the impossibility of trying to park I found that he still wasn't ready, and after waiting around for 20 minutes I had to get extremely assertive to force someone to go and find him. Having got into the car park, getting out again was even more of a challenge!

Finally I was able to head back to pick Robbie up, his train had eventually arrived at 8.20pm - two hours late! He was now cold, tired and ravenously hungry. I expected him to be furious about the chaos, but thankfully his spirits had been lifted slightly because his missing trousers and his new briefcase had been delivered to work that day. I'd been quietly insistent about Robbie needing a briefcase on wheels because he gets so much pain in his back and legs, but I had to wait until Robbie accepted the idea and ordered it himself! He made a very good choice, he is almost as fascinated by briefcases and bags as he is by trains and he spent a very long time telling me about all the features of the bag - apparently it even has a light inside!

By the time I got Robbie and Sam home, I didn't even have time for a cup of tea before I had to go out again to collect Laura. It must have been about 10.40 before I finally got home. Robbie was still talking about trains and in the course of his very detailed account of his home bound journey, he explained that the progress between Rugby and Northampton was painfully slow because the hand signaller had to walk ahead before the train could leave. After a day like that, a completely different kind of hand signal sprang to mind!

The Case of the Briefcase 25.02.07

Robbie did not go as far as saying that I was responsible for the loss of his pager, but the implication was there in the constant questioning and the inherent threat of thumb screws. When he eventually found the pager he was rather quiet about it, in fact I would go as far as to say he was evasive. When faced with a direct question about where it had been, he was forced to admit that he found it in the front pouch of his laptop bag - obviously my fault then! I am surprised that the thing didn't make it's presence felt when he was at work, it is very noisy, it drives me mad. Robbie collected his beloved briefcase yesterday, it had been to the menders to have a very expensive new clip fitted. He has missed the briefcase far more than he would miss me if I went away for a fortnight! At least the pager will be able to travel to work in style again.

Laura's guinea pig Saffy died yesterday, she was very much one of the family and we were all sad to loose her, but she was quite old. Sam was especially upset and he set about persuading me to buy a new one. The children agreed that if we had a new pet it would be Sam's responsibility. Eventually I was won over and we found ourselves at the pet shop, they had no guinea pigs, but Sam fell in love with a large and fearsomely endowed rat. I know they make good pets, but I couldn't face looking at that every morning - a horse would have been proud to own that equipment! Sam left the store in tears, claiming that I was the worst parent ever. The wailing continued until we reached the garden centre, and by this point I was ready to harm him, so Laura and Robbie took him to the pet department. He emerged with a smile and a black guinea pig, she is very cute and friendly. Her name has not yet been announced but it is almost certain that it will have a super hero theme.

Plastic Pigs 11.01.07

Robbie managed to seriously annoy me tonight. It wasn't the usual combination of mild amusement and exasperation, I was seriously angry and ready to deck him. Robbie is a creature of habit and the trouble started this evening when his usual routine was disrupted. There was no conspiracy, it just worked out that way. First he wasn't able to put his briefcase in exactly the position that he usually does. Then Emily and I were preparing the evening meal together and Robbie had a king sized sulk, I would have been overjoyed if someone said I didn't have to cook but Robbie took it as a personal insult. He always makes a coffee, puts his 'lounge wear' on and then helps me in the kitchen, he couldn't cope with a change in his routine.

I am in the unenviable position of having two mother in law's, well almost, Robbie's mum is dead, but he has a step mum. Anyway my mother in law bought us an omelette maker for Christmas and Emily and I decided that it was time to try it out. Robbie announced that he hated omelettes and he hated salad too, he would just have chips. A different meal was cooked for him. He hovered around the kitchen banging stuff around, washing up things that I hadn't finished with, putting away things that I was still using and throwing away the ingredients for my omelette! Despite the adverse circumstances I managed to produce a meal for everyone with an alternative for him. All he had to do was to carry his meal to the table, but he failed to arrive. He was frying himself two eggs while the rest of his meal went cold, he could have done them earlier or asked me to do them for him. For me it was the last straw, I fantasised about creating a head sized dent in the frying pan, but I settled for a bit of 'fortune telling' instead. As we finished our meal he said 'those omelettes looked nice, I think I will try one next time'. I was speechless!!!

He did apologise later. They say that making up is the best part, but Robbie had his own unique ways of trying to get back into my good books. He sent me an email with his latest suggestions for dealing with overcrowding on the railways, I wasn't impressed! Then he asked if he could go out on Saturday because he wants to have one last ride on a Plastic Pig (train). I love him dearly, but just occasionally I wish he was a little more 'normal'. There is one thing to be thankful for - he's not twins!!

Troublesome Trains 09.01.07

Robbie is being really boring this evening, he is sitting at the table working on the summer timetable, apparently he can't get the necessary trains in the right place on a Friday night ready for the Saturday timetable. He says he needs to download a podcast of Woman's Hour before he comes to bed. When we met he used to tease me about listening to Radio 4, now he is addicted to Woman's Hour! it really is a mad, mad world.

He is trying to keep busy so that I can't give him a hard time about his behaviour last night. I went to bed well after midnight, but Robbie still had to pack his briefcase - it is a Sunday night ritual, he empties everything out of it then packs it all back again. It is a very time consuming operation, like refitting a tardis! You would be amazed what that man feels compelled to carry around with him every day.

I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I remember was thunderous footsteps and our bedroom door being thrown open with such force that it banged against the wall. He called my name loudly, but I chose to remain asleep, after bellowing across the room twice more with no response, he plodded across the room, leaned over me and shook me. He called my name again and shook me, then he asked me if I was asleep! He could have woken the dead by that point, but I chose to stick with my sleepy state and he got no response. He stood up and had a little chat with himself, confirming that I was asleep, then he trundled off to the bathroom. I opened one eye to look at the clock and to my horror it was past 3am! He will need more than his trains rearranging if he does that again!!