Pushing the Boundaries of Time

Well, last week was quite a week! Robbie announced his new venture to the world and after spending a couple of days earlier in the week 'getting all his ducks in a row' concerning the admin side of his company he is now hard at work. It was nice having him at home for a week or two, but it is good to get back to something like a normal routine.

Unfortunately 'normal' involves some very early starts. Getting up at 4.30am on a dark and dismal October morning is a bit of an effort, but once I'm up I'm okay. Getting up is the easy bit, getting Robbie out and to the station on time is more of a challenge. He always plans well and has everything prepared the night before, but in the morning there is always a frantic few minutes with Robbie trotting around on 'fast forward' dressed only in socks in the style of Benny Hill. Then having tested my stress levels almost beyond endurance he is suited and booted and ready to go.
   
It is one of those unfathomable things about men is that they consistently over estimate length except when it comes to journey comes to journey times - then they think they can achieve the impossible! Robbie seems to forget that I drive a Ford Galaxy not a time machine. He is so precise when it comes to train planning, so why can't he cope with allowing enough time for a car journey. His habit of providing time checks during the journey does nothing to ease my stress levels, I don't know why he does it but it doesn't get him there any quicker!

A Stressful Week

The last week was one of the most stressful for a long time, there were a number of things going on but mostly we were worried about my mum, she was in hospital all week following her fall. I didn't know which way to turn, I needed to spend time with my mum and support her, but I also needed to help my step father who is ill and frail and not used to being on his own. Then there were the ordinary demands of life to be considered, going to work, feeding the family and trying my best to keep on top of the house work. I seemed to rush from one task to the next with no time to stop and think – perhaps that was a good thing! 

My mum had a deep wound on her head which was surrounded by a large area of severe bruising; they were worried that the force of my mum’s fall may have caused a bleed into the brain. The wait for the brain scan seemed endless, but thankfully it showed that we have hard heads in our family, there was no damage to her brain. More tests were necessary to determine why she blacked out, it seems her blood pressure is very high but at times her pulse becomes dangerously low. This may necessitate a pacemaker, but in the short term she has been sent home to recover from her fall and to stabilise her blood pressure with medication. 

We picked her up from hospital on Friday evening and settled her in at home before going home to pack the car and do all the last minute jobs in preparation for our holiday. I was disconcerted but too tired to argue when Robbie announced that he was packing the Lego men. It left me wondering about his priorities because at that stage he still hadn’t packed his underwear!

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire - William Butler Yeats

The other day I was looking back at old pieces of writing and I found a one day diary for 17th October 2006, I wrote it for a writing project that I was involved in. There was a paragraph about our chaotic morning routine

"Then my day kicked into a higher gear.  I had just five minutes to shower and vacate the bathroom.  I would love to wallow in the warm water, but time demands otherwise.  At 7am I wake my three children aged 17, 15 and 11, after a lull for a few minutes while they wake up suddenly there is chaos.  Everyone wants the bathroom at the same time, someone needs a button sewn on, daughter wants me to sign a slip for school, son can’t find an exercise book, older daughter wants money for a music book. Where have all the socks gone? Why hasn’t my rugby shirt been washed? The demands continue, son get sent back to do his teeth properly and at 7.55, only 5 minutes late, I leave with son packed into the passenger seat."

The diary went on to record the rest of the day, it seemed as if I spent my whole day rushing around trying to do my best for everyone and to somehow fit everything around my work. It still feels like that sometimes, but I think things are a little bit easier now - or at least the stresses are different! 

Camera Shy - (centre) look at those heels!

On Thursday I went to daughter number two's graduation, the 15 year old from the diary entry is now 21 and, just like her older sister she has worked very hard and done extremely well with her education. I feel very proud of both of them, not just because of their academic achievements but because they are hard workers and they have become capable and sensible young women.   I was so proud to be present at my daughter's graduation on Thursday and I wish her every success at Leicester University next year.

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~ African Proverb

It has been a challenging weekend, Robbie has been reduced to a standstill by his misbehaving legs and other assorted problems. I hate to see him in so much pain especially when there is nothing I can do except let him moan at me, it makes me feel so useless. I really do try my best not to mind when he moans, I know it is just his frustration and discomfort speaking, but I have to confess that he gets his answer sometimes. It is at times like this that I wish we lived next to a busy railway line because then he could time the trains to the second and think up better ways to run the railway instead of interfering with the way I do things!  I try (and sometimes fail) to smile sweetly and remember the words of G K Chesterton 'Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel'. Perhaps being grumpy helps him to deal with the pain.

We didn't put the Christmas tree up as planned because there was now way that Robbie could get into the loft and while I may have been able to get in, I was very doubtful about my ability to get out again. I will ask 'the son who must not be named' to get the tree down - when Robbie is not there to supervise! Daughter number two finally produced her Christmas wish list so thanks to the internet I was able to get on with my Christmas shopping without leaving the house. I have almost finished my shopping for presents, but the food shopping is still looming large on the horizon. We didn't go out except to get a few essential groceries, and a non essential and terribly sinful bread and butter pudding - my favourite! Even when he is not well Robbie still manages to tempt me to wickedness! 

One nice thing about this weekend was that I had time to catch up with writing the blog and I was able to chat online to a friend that I don't get the chance to chat to very often. It is nice to chat sometimes, it helps me to understand people better, it helps to put my thoughts in order and it reminds me to value the things that are really important in life and not to stress to much about the things that don't really matter. Robbie may be challenging at times, he may have his own unique way of doing things and he may have all the sensitivity of a rhinoceros at full charge, but when it comes to the things that really matter he doesn't let me down and I wouldn't swap him for the world!

Man Stress 14.12.07

Robbie suffers from what Laura calls 'man stress'. It can be brought on by the most seemingly trivial matter and unlike PMT it is unpredictable in onset and duration. By the time he arrived home yesterday he was in a foul mood - thanks to Network Rail! To make matters worse he found out that I had committed a terrible sin, I had used his railway mug. He doesn't mind me reading his railway books, I can even play with his trains (under supervision) if the mood takes me, but he is soo possessive about his railway mugs. It got worse a couple of months ago when someone kidnapped his Bombardier (train) mug, that apparently had great sentimental value. He searched everywhere but the mug was lost for ever. Anyway last night he came home with 'man stress' and when he attempted to make a cup of coffee, he found that his mug was in the bowl to be washed up. I was busily cooking and washing up, but rather than use one of the countless other mugs he stood behind me, sighing and fidgeting, until I had washed his cup. He came so close to wearing it!

The mug didn't cure the 'man stress', but it relieved the symptoms for a few minutes. He was impossible for the rest of the evening, he tends to slap his thighs in exasperation, he waves his arms about, he sighs so loudly that you could hear it in the next town and he even breathes disapprovingly, he thunders around making twice as much noise as usual (yes really!). He spoils the whole effect by the way he stands, he usually has one hand on his hip and that changes the whole effect from menacing ogre to camp troll!!

Do you think I could claim compensation from Network Rail for the stress they cause?!

Freedom 04.03.07

I have had a lovely Saturday enjoying my prize - 24hrs without Robbie! In fact it is almost 24hrs to myself, Emily is here tonight, but she has been at work all day and will be out again tomorrow. Robbie, Laura and Sam have been banished to the North.

I am enjoying watching what I want on TV, holding the remote control is a rare treat. I really don't understand this man thing about having to hold their equipment all the time. I have also been able to eat what I like instead of what other people want - I am the only one in the house who likes tomatoes so i have had lots of tomatoes. I have got lots more jobs done without Robbie around to distract me.

Emily and I were discussing Robbie's most irritating traits today, it was quite a wide ranging discussion, but we both agreed that his knack of not being ready until the last possible moment was the most stressful to deal with. Emily told me that on Wednesday when everyone else was ready and waiting outside, Robbie was still in the kitchen, minus his shirt, shining his shoes. Clean shoes speak volumes, but surely the shirt was the priority at that point. He seems to get a thrill from pushing deadlines and he frequently tells me that he gets his train with only seconds to spare. It drives me mad and it causes unnecessary stress.