It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness - Marcus Tullius Cicero

I was looking for a suitable heading for this blog post and I couldn't resist this one. Yesterday was one of those strange days when you are more consciously aware of the sorrows of the past that are always with you. If life had been kinder it would have been my wedding anniversary. That part of my life feels so distant now, almost like another lifetime, perhaps that is normal it was a long time ago and I was a different person then, younger of course and full of hope. I can't help remembering and wondering what might have been, but I also feel grateful for what we had and for the time that we shared. I can't change the past, I couldn't prevent Eric's death but he continues to live in our memories. Like it or not life goes on, you can't live in the past but you will carry it with you into the future.

Yesterday was also the 30th anniversary of the start of our defence of the Falklands. Yesterday on television there I saw a lot of programmes remembering the Falklands war and those who died. All these years later their families will still feel their loss as keenly as they did then. I would like people to care as much about those who were terribly damaged by their service in the Falklands. People like a friend of mine who survived, but has suffered with mental health issues ever since. My friend and many like him could not find a way to live with the memories, the flashbacks have haunted him and he has carried the grief and suffering with him every day. For too many, this has led to isolation and a downward spiral. It may be hard for us to understand, but we should care and we should never forget the true cost of war. 

Conflict

Sam is very keen on photography and since he got his posh new camera for Christmas no one is safe, from Sam quest to get the perfect picture. His homework for his school photography class is to take a photograph of conflict. At first Sam thought it would be easy because he intended to take a photo of of the cats play fighting, but they don't perform to order and when they play they will not stop to pose for the camera! So he has had to resort to plan B - staged conflict. This has not been very successful either staged conflict looks staged and despite his best efforts he is still searching for the perfect photo. He took this photo of Laura after a staged fight with her yesterday, I love her expression and the look in her eyes, it isn't clear if she will 'attack' or if she will burst out laughing. One thing is clear she will never forgive me if she finds out that I have put this picture on the blog, she hates it when her hair is all messed up!

It is quite comical to have Sam setting out to create conflict, when we have plenty of the real kind every day, it just doesn't lend itself to being photographed. Yesterday when Robbie got home I began to cook our meal and he began to disapprove. First I'd said I was doing mashed potato and he wanted chips, I intended to have baked beans but he wanted gravy, I was very tolerant. I got a pan out to put the sausages in the oven, he looked, shook his head and said "no, no, not that one". I gave him 'the look' but he blundered on. He offered me a much less suitable pan, then changed his mind and offered a third, then a forth pan. I offered him a stern warning but he pressed on with advice on how to cook his sausages! I looked at my lovely new saucepans on the worktop and felt an overwhelming urge to hit him over the head with one! I decided that love had to win (love for my new saucepans) and I stormed out and told Robbie to get on with it himself!