“Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away.” - Ben Hecht

Friday 2nd August

In theory today should have been a fairly easy day as I was well ahead with my packing and I didn't have too many jobs left to do before our holiday, but I hadn't taken Robbie into account. He has been working so hard recently and he had loads to do before he could think about the holiday. He asked me to take him to Marks and Spencer's in his lunch break because he wanted some more shorts and a couple of other bits and bobs. It was a fleeting trip, but he got what he needed. Then he had to get back to work while I went off to do a few more errands. 

I began to think that Robbie would never be able finish his work in time, but at last he closed his laptop and announced that he was ready to help with the packing. He packed his railway DVDs, an N gauge railway set with lots of extras, three Lego sets (Technic, Lone Ranger and Back to the future), a selection of railway books, a graphic novel, stacks of magazines, his jigsaw board, binoculars and assorted gadgets. He seemed to think that he had completed his packing and I had to remind him that he would probably need clothes as well as toys. He claims that he would like to be a naturist, but I don't think Norfolk is ready for that!!

Finally all the annoying little jobs were done, the car was packed and everything was ready for us to make an early start in the morning. Robbie turned back to his work to have one last attempt to solve an annoying planning problem that had chosen to rear it's ugly head at a most inconvenient moment from Robbie's point of view. I don't know how long he spent in search of a solution because I had gone to bed and I was asleep long before he came upstairs.

Probably Not the Next Samuel Pepys

I had to write a one day diary for a local history project that I am involved with so I thought that I would share it on the blog too.

Saturday 22nd September 2012

I really must be mad! The insistant bleeping of the alarm clock woke me at 4.30am, I reached out to turn it off and then remembered that I had moved it out of reach the night before to make absolutely sure that I woke up. I sat up and reached down to silence the alarm clock, Robbie was still sleeping soundly so I gave him a prod and told him that it was 4.30am and if he wanted to catch his train he needed to get moving right now, then I dashed off to beat him to the bathroom. When I got back to the bedroom he plodded off to get ready while I sneaked back under the covers for ten minutes, after all 'normal people' would still be fast asleep. The next thing I knew it was almost 5am and he was back in the bedroom showered and almost ready to go. It is surprising how fast you can get ready when you really have to. 

When I got downstairs he was just packing his lunch into his rucksack and by the time he got outside I had already started the car and we were all ready to go. The car knows the way to the railway station, we do that journey so often. On weekdays we are usually up at 5am so that he can catch his train to Birmingham just after 6am, so I look forward to a more leisurely start to the day on Saturdays and Sundays. Unfortunately the lure of the railway gets the better of him and he just can't keep away. Today he is going to the Deltic Gathering at the East Lancashire Railway, he is absolutely passionate about Deltics, especially his favourite Royal Scots Grey. I would have gone with him because I like Deltics too, but I have a terrible cough at the moment, it is exhausting and I haven't been sleeping very well, so I just don't have the stamina to cope with a long day on the railways at the moment.

He waved as he slammed the car door and walked towards the station. I felt a sense of relief, I had fulfilled my promise and got him there on time, now the rest of the day was my own and if I wanted to I could go back to bed. I clicked the radio on, radio 4 is the soundtrack to my life, I always have the radio on at home or in the car. I only half listened to the discussion about TB in cattle and the pros and cons of culling badgers to limit the spread of bovine TB, as I drove up the hill away from the railway station. I was thinking that my ancestors were closely linked with this part of the town. My great grandfather was orphened when very young, he grew up in the work house, but he when he was sent to be an appentice to a cordwainer in Leicester Street, he found a trade and a family and he spent the rest of his life in Leicester Street. His daughter my great grandmother grew up there, had her first home as a married woman in the next street and she brought her large family up just a couple of streets away. The area as they knew it is now long gone, but there is still one landmark that they would recognise, the spire of Seps Church still points heavenward, the clock still measures the relentless march of time in hours and minutes. The church which for centuries has witnessed the joys and sorrows of the people, stands strong and defiant amid the 'here today gone tomorrow' buildings of our modern town, reminding us of lasting values that are too easily forgotten amid the demands of modern life.

When I got home I put the kettle on for a much needed cup of tea and while I waited for it to boil I sorted the laundry into piles and put on the first load of the day. I was too awake to go back to bed and sleep, but I felt bruised and exhausted from all the coughing so I took my cup of tea and my laptop up to bed. I may not sleep but at least I could sit quietly with the radio and my laptop to occupy me. I enjoyed a couple of hours catching up with email and facebook and I began to write my diary entry for today. I must have fallen asleep at some point because it was mid morning when I woke up. I enjoyed a long relaxing bath while listening to Radio 4, a shower is fine most of the time, but there is something special about a nice hot bath. I wish this cough would get better, it is so exhausting.

It is unusual to be at home on my own, but today was very quiet, my son stayed at his friend's house last night, my older daughter had gone to Milton Keynes with her boyfriend and my younger daughter was shut in her room writing up notes in preparation for her post graduate course at Leicester University which begins on Monday. I like my own company and I never struggle to fill my time. There was a whole list of jobs demanding my attention today, but I only did the laundry and the routine tasks, I decided that the peace and quiet was too precious to waste, the other jobs can wait until I feel better.

The only problem with doing nothing is that you have too much time to think and this was one of those days that provided a lot to think about. Nine years ago today I sat with my first husband Eric in the Three Shires Hospital as the last hours of his life slipped away; then I went home and told my children that their dad was dead. Life goes on but those memories don't  fade, it is not something that you forget despite the passage of time, the details of that day are imprinted on my mind. I found myself wondering how he would feel about the way our lives have changed. I hope that I have done a good enough job as a parent, it hasn't always been easy. Eric didn't want me to be on my own if the worst should happen, but it must be hard at times for Robbie, living with a ghost. Perhaps it helps that they are very different. 

My son came home and my daughter emerged from her room, she had finished her work and was ready to fulfill her promise to paint my nails with crackle nail varnish, silver base with black crackle on top. It looked very nice. I hardly ever wear nail varnish, but it is nice to spoil myself once in a while and it is lovely to share moments like this with my daughter.

Time went on, we ate early because my daughter was going out later. My daughter went to get ready and I left my son to feed the cats while I drove to the station to pick my Robbie up. On the way back we popped into Morrisons for a printer cartridge and one or two essentials. I was glad to get home, but I had to go straight out again because my daughter wanted a lift into town. She looked amazing. We picked her friend up on the way and I dropped them both off at The Goose. By the time I got home again Robbie had a cup of tea waiting for me and I chatted to him about his day for a little while, he'd had a lovely time. 

Later on Robbie wanted to watch a film, it wasn't really my sort of thing so I decided to head up to bed with my laptop to listen to Radio 4 Extra and catch up with my friends on facebook. The cough was impossible, I couldn't stop coughing and I couldn't get my breath, it was a very frightening feeling, I was exhausted but I knew that I had another sleepless night ahead of me. Thank goodness for the internet and friends who stay up late and are happy to chat at 2am. How different from my childhood when my mum considered it very bad manners to make a telephone call after 9pm. 

Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober - 1 Thessalonians 5:6 King James Version

Robbie wanted to go out on Friday evening, I wasn't keen because he'd had a very challenging week and I knew that he was very tired and struggling to cope with pain from his back and legs. However it was the anniversary of his friend's death and he needed to meet with other friends to remember better times. I begged him not to be too late home because I was tired too and I didn't want to be too late to bed.

We had spoken on the phone before he went out and I kept my mobile close to me hoping that he would remember his promise not to be too late. It remained silent all evening so I sent him a text to say that I was going to bed and he should ring me when he needed a lift. I sat in bed listening to the radio and doing some writing on my netbook, trying to stay awake. He finally rang to say that he needed picking up at midnight and I asked him to ring me again when he got to Rugby just to make sure that I hadn't dozed off. Time marched on and no call came, so I set off for the station, I thought Robbie had just forgotten ring. 

When I got to the station I began to worry that Robbie may have fallen asleep, so I rang him several times and sent texts for him to contact me, but there was no reply. A stream of people wandered wearily around to the car park indicating that Robbie's train was in, I looked and looked but there was no Robbie. After a brief flurry of activity the car park was still and silent again and I was still there waiting. Time passed very slowly but eventually a few more weary travellers came into view, another train had arrived, but after a brief moment of hope my heart sank, there was no sign of Robbie. By this time I was seriously worried, my mind raced, perhaps he'd had a bad fall, perhaps he had even fallen under a train ........... Finally the truth became clear, a rather confused text from Robbie revealed that he had fallen asleep on the train and ended up in Buckinghamshire. A phone call followed and a rather unhappy Robbie admitted that it would be a long wait for him to make his way back. I wasn't best pleased, but at least he was safe, so I couldn't be too angry. We finally got home at about 2am - not the best start to a weekend! 

Living Dangerously

I often go to bed before Robbie, partly because I need my sleep and partly because I prefer to listen to the radio rather than watch some of the scary stuff that he likes to watch on television. This works quite well for both of us but there is just one problem - Robbie! He doesn't understand the meaning of the word quiet and he always manages to wake me up when he comes to bed. He then falls asleep as soon as head hits the pillow leaving me wide awake unable to get back to sleep and fighting to hang on to the duvet.

On Monday night he decided to take things a step further. He wasn't quite ready for bed but he decided to come upstairs for a chat. He wasn't put off when he found that I was asleep, he just kept asking if I was awake until I woke up. So what was so important that he needed to wake me up at 1.30am? It certainly wasn't something that could be classed as an emergency even in 'Robbie world'. He wanted to inform me that the cat was suffering from flatulence! I told him loud and clear to 'go away' but I wasn't going to escape that easily. He went into great detail about the exact nature of the smell, then he started rambling on about possibly changing the cat's diet. By then I was ready to harm him and he made a hasty retreat.

The next day I asked him why he woke me up and he said he didn't think I was deeply asleep because I wasn't snoring - I give up!!

Storms batter South West coast as 'monsoon' weather hits Britain - The Telegraph

My younger daughter had spent weeks planning a long weekend in Cornwall with her brother and a friend from university. She really isn't the camping type, but they had arranged to spend the first couple of nights 'under canvas' before moving to more civilised surroundings for the remainder of their stay. She is a confident driver and she has made the journey a couple of times before, but I'm her mum and I can't help worrying especially as she planned to make the journey during the night - and that was before I saw the weather forecast!

"Strong winds, possibly up to gale force, are expected from the afternoon onwards in south-west England particularly Devon and Cornwall," forecaster Mark Seltzer from the Met Office.

When I saw the warnings from the Met Office yesterday I was seriously worried, I wouldn't have enjoyed driving to Cornwall in those conditions and I really wanted her to postpone her journey until the morning.

"Winds will increase this afternoon in Devon and Cornwall and there could be gusts of 60 to 65mph, or even 70mph on exposed coasts and headlands......"

My daughter is as stubborn and determined as her mother and she wasn't going let a little matter of the weather spoil her plans. She is also half Cornish and the call of the sea is very strong - it took her dad years to adapt to living so far from the sea. So soon after midnight they set off on their journey - and I began to worry! I had made sure that they were as well prepared as possible, but I was still worried. It was a very long night but thankfully they got to Padstow in time for breakfast. My daughter said that the journey had been very wet and very windy, so it was a challenging driving experience.

I really wish that they could have had better weather, it sounds as if they had a nice day despite the rain and according to my daughter the sun came out later on. Padstow holds so many happy memories for our family and it is nice to be there whatever the weather. However camping is a different story, I doubt my daughter would have enjoyed it even in perfect summer weather. She wrote on facebook that "Camping is most certainly not for me" and she went on to inform the world that she will be sleeping in the car tonight! Perhaps she will appreciate the comforts of home after this. I hope they stay safe and have a lovely day tomorrow.

"Take time to smell the roses"

I had such a horrible day yesterday, I have been struggling with a bad cough for weeks and it caused me to have an asthma attack at work. It left me feeling dreadful, struggling to breathe and very shaky and scared. When I got home it was clear that Robbie was in so much pain that he was struggling to cope, it make me feel so useless because I can't make it better for him. I think we both had a bad night and I was less than enthusiastic this morning when the alarm clock insisted that it was time to face another day. When I walked out to the car, I noticed that our roses are out, there is a mass of yellow buds on the rose bush near the front door and there are deep pink flowers on the climbing rose at the side of the garage. They must have been in flower for several days but I hadn't noticed. I expect today will still be challenging but taking a few moments to enjoy the roses really brightened my morning.

It's funny how fast you can wake up when you realise you've overslept.

I spent most of Friday getting ready to go out on a train on Saturday. So by Friday evening we had a massive picnic ready to take with us, my netbook was packed in my rucksack, my camera was charged and everything was ready for an early start. At least I thought everything was ready, but there was just one thing I had overlooked – Robbie! He was still awake when I went to bed but when the alarm clock went off at a stupidly early hour he was sound asleep next to me and he refused to wake up. I tried and tried but it was impossible, he didn’t wake up but when prodded he produced a selection of grunts and insults. In the end I gave up and let him sleep. When he woke up he was very cross with me. We were too late for the train we planned to catch but we made the best of the day and with a trip to Plymouth on an HST. I always enjoy the views as we pass the sea wall at Dawlish. It was a very exhausting day, we didn’t get home until almost 11pm and by then the roles were reversed, I was asleep on my feet but Robbie was wide awake!

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors - Alice Walker

Today didn't start quite as well it should have. The alarm went off at 5am and I jumped into action, I shook Robbie awake and told him that it was already 5am and if he didn't hurry he would be late for his train. He turned over and said that he was getting up, there was no further action for a few moments, then he sat up 'zombie style' but he seemed to be still asleep. In those few moments my brain managed to catch up with the situation and I realised that it was Saturday! I told him that it was Saturday and I was very sorry for waking him up, he said "yes dear" and still in zombie mode he settled back into bed; he was instantly asleep. When we woke up at a more realistic hour for a Saturday Robbie had no recollection of the 5am episode.

A favourite pair of Robbie's Shoes

He came back to bed with a cup of tea for me (and a coffee for him) and announced that he wanted to show me some Dickies. I wasn't entirely sure what he was suggesting until he picked up my laptop and logged on to his favourite shoe website. Apparently the 'Dickies' in question were a particular type of canvas boots. Being Robbie he couldn't just look at one pair of shoes he showed me a whole selection of footwear that he would love to own. I guess he could be doing worse things than lusting after shoes, but our house isn't big enough to accommodate all his footwear.


Looking at the website led to a (very long) conversation about shoes he has known and loved. To be honest it was more of a monologue than a conversation. We had worked our way back to 1980s but I was spared further 'time travel' to his earlies footwear memories because he sent himself to sleep! I can't say it was the most exciting start to a Saturday morning, but seeing Robbie happy and relaxed makes me happy.  I was left feeling that some things are just meant to be. Robbie came to Northampton because of me, but what better place for someone with a passion for shoes, a bus ride away from the shoe museum and a stone's throw from the Doc Shop! 

Pyjama Problems

Robbie had a better night last night, partly because he didn't dare to go to bed until it was almost time to get up! I know he must be feeling as tired as I am because trying to wake him up this morning was like trying to wake the dead. I think it's a minor miracle that he managed to get to the station in time for his usual train this morning. I am rather worried that he will be sound asleep by the time he gets to New Street, but hopefully it will be a service that terminates there and he will not wake up to find himself heading further north!

On the subject of sleep my son has a problem. Most people think that being one of only a handful of boys at a girls school would be a dream come true, but it can cause unexpected problems. On Friday his school have a pyjama day to raise funds for something or other. He doesn't possess any pyjamas, he usually wears boxers in bed. He does have a onesie but he claims is skin tight and it would attract too much attention if he wore it to school. So it looks as if he will have to pass on the PJs and just go to school in his normal clothes. Chatting to him about this reminded me of a PJ related incident when he was about eight or nine and trying to be very grown up. At 17 he doesn't like to be reminded of the things he did when he was younger but I treasure all those funny little memories.  

2004
There was a funny little episode last week with S. A couple of days before he went to his first sleepover he said he absolutely had to have some deodorant – Sure for Men Sensitive to be exact. We went to get him some deodorant, but while at the shop he asked for FCUK pre shave face wash. I pointed out that he doesn't shave but he said "it says pre shave, and I will shave one day so it is ideal for me". He went to the sleepover with his grown up toiletries and his new leather jacket looking really cool. A couple of days after he got back I asked him if his mates had been impressed by his grown up stuff. He gave me a long stare, then in a very serious voice he said "you spoiled the effect mum, you packed my Buzz Lightyear pyjamas!" 

Best Foot Forward

Robbie and I had a 'frank exchange of views' last night, I know it is silly to argue about trivial stuff but honestly how hard is is for a man to understand the difference between a dish cloth and a floor cloth!! We have the sense not to argue for long, there are so many more important things in life that it is foolish to argue about trivia.

We had a disrupted night which left me feeling useless or perhaps helpless is more accurate. I woke at 2.15am to find Robbie in agony, he was crying with pain and running through his extensive repertoire of expletives. He couldn't move and his leg was in spasm to such an extent that you could feel it 'jumping'. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help or to ease his pain. It seemed to go on forever, but in reality it was perhaps half an hour or so before the pain eased slightly. He was still moaning with pain at around 3am when exhaustion finally allowed him to fall  asleep. Sleep eluded me for at least another hour, I just lay there worrying and feeling useless.

This morning we had to get up a bit earlier than usual, to give him more time to get ready. I took him to the station so that he had extra time to walk to the platform. I knew he was worried about how he would walk from the station to the office, he mentioned it several times in the car. He said that he would just take his time and he would be OK. I wish I could do something to help, I feel so helpless. As he got out of the car he said "Best foot forward". I am so proud of him, even on a bad day like this he just keeps going. He doesn't give up and somehow he faces the day with a smile.

Route Knowledge?

Robbie has been extending his route knowledge recently, or at least that's his excuse. The combination of disturbed sleep (due to pain) and new medication caught up with him on his journey to work and he fell asleep on the train before reaching New Street. He awoke to find himself heading for Walsall - the train had reached New Street and departed again! Fortunately he catches a very early train in order to have a more comfortable journey so even after his 'little diversion' he was still at work in good time. Poor Robbie, he put on a brave face and joked about 'route knowledge' but he was quite upset about it. Sometimes trying to manage chronic pain can make even the simplest things very difficult.

When I wrote my previous blog entry about Robbie leaving his trousers at work, I thought that was the end of his 'trouser troubles' but the drama continued. Despite being exactly the same size as the trousers that he already has (that fit him perfectly) the new trousers didn't fit, so I had to deal with a very disappointed Robbie. We had the folded arms, the sulky look and the jutting bottom lip, but eventually he had to accept defeat and order a different size. The new ones arrived on Friday, but he has been so poorly that he hasn't tried them on yet - I think I will cry if these don't fit! 

'There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them' - Sylvia Plath

Photo by Linneabe

A am a bath person, there is nothing I like more Than a long soak in a hot bath while listening to Radio 4. Robbie on the other hand is a shower person, and being a train planner his ablutions are timed to the second and they have to be performed in the correct order! So a leisurely bath is an unfamiliar experience for Robbie, but he was in so much today that he look my advice and plodded off to have a hot bath to ease his pain. I was busy so it was a while before i looked up from my work and realised that he had been gone for a very long time. I listened and it was suspiciously quiet, I could hear the radio but there was no splashing and no sound of movement - and Robbie is never quiet. I rushed to the bathroom to find out what was wrong and I found that he was sound asleep. He had slid down in the bath and his face was only just above water! I shouted at him to wake him up but he didn't even flinch and I was cross with him for scaring me, so I poured water over him, that woke him up! In future he can stick to showers, there is less chance of him drowning in the shower!

Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife. (GNB: Prov 21.9)

Robbie has done some daft things in his time (and been forgiven for most of them!) but this week he took a step too far. I know he is a slow learner but if he ever does that again he will need police protection! Sometime I long for the old days when he used to take his pager to bed with him. It woke me up countless times during the night and sometimes Robbie would wake me up to tell me about the state of the railways, but it wasn't as dangerous as his blackberry. He has two (one for each hand) one work one and one personal one, they put ideas into his head and lead him astray. Earlier this week he 'confessed' (under duress) that he had used his Blackberry to record me talking in my sleep. He thought it was hilarious. When I found out about it I made him play it back to me, most of it was him talking rather than me - nothing new there! I did mention a train and an elephant, but I wasn't rambling, I was just remembering our recent rather amazing trip on the Severn Valley Railway. I did see an elephant and a couple of rhinos when we went past West Midlands Safari Park. He has received stern warnings and if he knows what is good for him he will not record me again.


So why the quotation from the Bible, partly because it is one of my favourites and also because it gave me an excuse to include a Snoopy picture. The other day Robbie reminded me how much he likes Snoopy and it made me Realise how much Robbie has in common with Linus! The main reason for the quotation is because it is the 400th anniversary of the King James Bible. People who know me well will know tat it is not my favourite version of the Bible despite the beautiful use of language. I prefer the more accessible and down to earth language of the Good News translation, but I recognise the importance of the King James Bible. It made the Bible accessible to ordinary people in English but it is also an important literary work in its own right and it has influenced the way that English is spoken.


"And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light..." 
Genesis ch1 v1-3

Google in Bed

On Sunday evening I was very tired by the time I went to bed. I was already asleep by the time Robbie came to bed, but as he doesn't do anything quietly I was soon wide awake again. I really don't know why he feels compelled to talk to me (and to require an answer) when I am asleep because he doesn't get a good reaction. He doesn't seem to understand that when I am asleep I really don't want to hear about the cat's digestive problems or even the state of the railways, I just want to sleep - is that so much to ask?


On this particular occasion he had woken me to inform me that he had left the toilet set in the correct position, surely he doesn't imagine that he will get 'brownie points' for doing what any sensible person would do anyway! Seat down and lid up is the only practical option, anything else could lead to catastrophe in the dark! I tried my best 'not to be awake' but Robbie talks regardless and if he gets no response he prods me until he does. I think he enjoys living dangerously!


Somehow we got on to the subject of names and I mentioned that some names like my own enable you to have a good guess about the age of the owner. Robbie mentioned the name Wendy and I told him that it was not really a name until used by J M Barrie in Peter Pan.  It was inspired by a nickname given to him by a little girl who called him her 'friendy' but because she had trouble pronouncing the R sound it became 'fwendy'. 


I don't think I told him that there are rare examples of the name before that, or that it was once a boy's name, but it was the middle of the night and I was keen to go back to sleep. Robbie refused to believe the J M Barrie reference and he was now in confrontational mode demanding to know where the term Wendy House came from. After a deep sigh I told him that it came from the Peter Pan story, but he refused to believe me.  He turned the light on and grabbed his Blackberry, I thought he was going to 'phone a friend' but he was doing a google search. Reluctantly he confirmed that I was right (he should be used to it by now!). Then finally I was allowed to get some sleep.

I Want My Bed Back!

I woke up early this morning, my back ached but I was still tired. I had to sit up for a while to let my back sort itself out, so I had half an hour on the computer. I tried not to look too closely at the chaos in the bedroom, we still haven't got our clothes sorted out properly since our holiday. Mentally I pushed that particular job higher up my 'to do' list, but my top priority at that moment was more sleep and I snuggled back under the duvet to make the most of my unhurried Sunday morning.


After a lazy morning Emily and I went shopping to buy a present for my new nephew and of course something for his big brother too. Baby George was easy to buy for, we chose some very cute clothes, then we spent ages trying to find something just right for Oliver. We chose Playmobil sets because Emily always loved those when she was little. It was lovely to spend time with Emily because I haven't seen much of her since getting back from our holiday.


Before we went out I'd asked Robbie to sort out his clothing. He had agreed rather too willingly so I didn't expect much action. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he was up in the bedroom sorting out when we got back. He came trotting down the stairs in his pants to explain that he'd been busy reorganising his Tshirts. He then went on to explain a rather complicated arrangement about what he keeps where, and I have to admit that I 'tuned out' at that point.


I didn't actually go and look at the bedroom until this evening when we got home from delivering my mum's luggage to her house. I am not sure what I expecter but what I saw were piles of clothes like molehills all over the bed. It didn't seem as if there was less 'stuff' around the room, but I couldn't be sure. He insists that he worked hard at sorting his clothes out, but I have a sneaky suspicion that he was sidetracked by his laptop. Who knows, all I can be sure of is that I still need to devote a couple of days to tidy the bedroom. When it was bedtime I had to send the 'mole catcher' upstairs to find the bed before I could get into it!

Norfolk Here We Come - Again!

Robbie set the alarm on his Blackberry to the time that he wanted to wake up, so at a stupidly early time the alarm went off. For a small phone it makes a very loud noise, it could wake the dead, but it doesn't wake Robbie - apparently that's my job!  The alarm went off and sleeping beayty didn't flinch, I shouted at him to turn it off and he said yes but did nothing. I yelled louder, this time he obeyed and turned the alarm off, but he didn't wake up! This process was repeated ever 5 minutes until 5.20 by which time I was ready to kill. I made dark threats about the fate of his Blackberry and he woke up sufficiently to turn the alarm off completly before pulling the covers over his head and going back to sleep. I went off and had my bath and got on with my morning routine before trying to wake him again, but after a series of insults (from him) he finally got up and waddled off to the bathroom to have a shower. 


By some miracle we were ready to leave the house at 8.20 and after a quick detour for fuel and to buy Robbie some breakfast we were on the road just before 9am. heading for Norfolk. This time we were going to collect some of my mum's luggage to make her journey home a little easier on Saturday. Traffic was fairly heavy but we made good time and we were at the bungalow just after 11.30. It was so nice to be close to the sea again, to look our across the beach and to listen to the rythum of the waves, to me it seems like the heartbeat of the earth.


My mum and stepfather took us for lunch in Mundesley, it was very nice, lamb shank with vegetables and yorkshire pudding. Afterwards we took my mum shopping in North Walsham while David (my step father) relaxed back at the bungalow. As we set off for North Walsham a butterfly fluttered across the windscreen of the car and then it fluttered alongside the passenger window until we reached the end of the lane. Then as we travelled along the very pretty country road to North Walsham Robbie noticed that we had a stowaway, a grasshopper was travelling on the windscreen wiper. Foolish as it may seem I had vague worries about it not being able to get back to it's correct habitat, but by the time we reached North Walsham my attention had been taken up with other things. 


We spent a happy couple of hours in North Walsham, Robbie bought some railway magazines and a couple of prints of old railway posters but I had more practical matters in mind, I bought some oven cleaner! As we drove back Robbie made a series of excited squeals and pointed out of the window. Usually this signals that he has seen a train, but as there was no railway line nearby I realised that it must be something else. He wasn't pointing out of the window he was pointing at the window, the grasshopper was hitching a lift back on the passenger window! I think it bailed out at almost the same spot that we picked it up!


Robbie had a bit of a sulk because I was unable to stop at exactly the spot he requested to enable him to  take a photo of a tractor in an adjoining field. He got over it eventually and it was such a nice day that we were able to go and sit in the garden with a cup of tea, or in Robbie's case a cup of coffee. Later on we went for a walk on the beach and I found a lovely 'wishing stone', if only it really could make my wishes come true.


We sat outside and watched the bats flying around the garden for a while, but then Robbie decided to go and have a shower because he was too hot. I went in and chatted to my mum, then after an hour or so we realised that Robbie was 'missing in action', he hadn't made it to the shower he was sprawled across the bed fast asleep. He didn't surface again, so when I went to bed I had to wake him up and ask him to move so that he wasn't blocking the entire bed. He answered me, but when I asked him to move he lifted his legs in the air, peddled vigorously and then resumed his original position. It took consiberal effort to shift him but eventually he went off to have a wash and get ready for bed. I stood at the window looking out at the moon on the sea and wishing that I could hang on to the precious times that sometimes seem so fleeting.

Soon Robbie was fast asleep again. I snuggled under the duvet, but it was a long time before I fell asleep. I lay there listening to the sounds of the sea and remembering the many happy times and a few sad ones spent here. This little bit of Norfolk will always hold a special place in my heart.

Puzzled

Robbie came to bed very late last night or more accurately I should say this morning, so when I got up he was still in the land of nod - and he remained there for half the morning! He was late coming to bed because he had got carried away with doing his jigsaw of the Flying Scotsman. I am not a jigsaw person but there is something about an unfinished jigsaw that demands your attention and spent a peaceful couple of hours with Radio 4 and the jigsaw. When Mr Sleepy finally woke up he wasn't best pleased, but he hid it well. We went out for lunch at Mundesley which was a nice treat. After that we had a bit of a potter around before heading back to the bungalow. I went for a walk along the beach, but Robbie stayed behind with his jigsaw, he made it very clear that my help was no longer needed. I was very happy out on the beach, I found a wishing stone and I wandered along noticing all the little details that you only notice when you are on your own.

Robbie completed his jigsaw, it looked amazing, now he has the next one out and he is planning to start that later this evening. It has pictures of old Hornby models on it, it looks really difficult but apparently he doesn't need any help! I have really enjoyed today, it has been fun, it is so nice to have to relax without the day to day world crowding in on us.  

'You either get Norfolk, with its wild roughness and uncultivated oddities, or you don't. It's not all soft and lovely. It doesn't ask to be loved.' Stephen Fry

We woke up to a lovely quiet and sunny morning, I felt much better after a long sleep and after a refreshing shower and one of Robbie’s legendary bacon sandwiches I was ready to face the day. I finished off the unpacking while listening to the Archers and Robbie had a shave and shower, then we were ready to go to the local car boot sale. I love car boot sales, but we only go when we are on holiday because we already have far too much junk in our house.



Robbie had very bad cramp in the night and it had left him with a very painful leg, but he managed to walk around the reasonably well. He didn’t want to buy much, just a couple of music cassettes and a book of railway postcards, but he enjoyed searching through boxes looking at old die cast vehicles and various model trains. I bought several cds including Summoned by Bells, the verse biography of John Betjeman, we enjoyed listening to the first part of it when we got back to the bungalow.


It was mid afternoon when we got back from the car boot sale. It was nice to have time to just sit and look out across the sea and enjoy the calm that time away from reality brings. There was plenty to see first of all we saw a life boat travelling at speed along the coast, Robbie went out to take a photo, but his blackberry was not powerful enough so he dashed back for his camera. Then there were two lifeboats and a little dinghy type lifeboat and then he said that there was a fourth boat. I wonder what was going on.

Robbie had only just settled down again when another boat came past, it was fairly close and Robbie rushed out again for a better look. He said he thought it was a customs boat and he came back in to look on the site he uses to identify the shipping in the area. It was a nice relaxing evening, we watched DVDs, and enjoyed the unusual feeling of having nothing pressing to do – I could get used to this!

'The Norfolk landscape sends a shiver through my soul....' - Raffaella Barker

Our holiday in Norfolk had been planned long before our recent woes and despite the huge black cloud of worry hanging over us we decided to go and make the most of the peace and freedom that we always find in Norfolk. These things never work out as planned and before we could pack and get ready for our holiday we had to address the pressing issues that were crowding into our week. Robbie had important deadlines to meet at work, but he also needed to see the GP urgently, and just to confuse matters further he had to take time out of a very busy week to deal with three totally intelligible letters sent by CMEC/CSA which no one dealing with his case could explain. They couldn’t even tell who had sent the letters or why, I in these days of austerity I can’t help wondering why a government agency would send out three different letters to the same person on the same day in three different envelopes and then waste hours of staff time responding to frantic phone calls from intelligent people who are totally baffled by the correspondence. What I wonder has happened to plain English and what on earth has happened to customer service?



Robbie arrived home from work at 11pm on Friday evening; I was tired, frustrated and still packing. Robbie was so tired that he was like a zombie and so challenging that if I hadn’t sent him upstairs to sort his clothes out I might have harmed him! It was heading towards 3am when I went to bed and Robbie was even later because he was dealing with final bits and bobs of work that had to be done before we could go on holiday. I knew that would fall asleep but I was too tired to wait for him, in the past Meg would have woken him up and sent him to bed when she got sick of his snoring, but now he had a stark choice, find his own way to bed or stay put.


The alarm woke us at 6am and ‘sleeping beauty’ reluctantly plodded off to make a cup of tea. Within half an hour I was up, washed, dressed and packing the car. I wanted to be on the road by 8am, but Robbie trotted around in a state of undress and showed a marked reluctance to get himself organised. He still had to finish off some bits and bobs at work and this was delayed further by computer problems. The clock ticked on, 8 o’clock came and went and by 10 o’clock a near naked Robbie was still messing around with work matters and I was finding it increasingly difficult to keep my temper. I finally chased him off to get ready and at 10.50am I went to sit in the car to wait for him, at least I could listen to the radio while I waited. At 11.30am he came out to announce that he was on his way before scuttling back in to do a few last minute jobs. At 12.OO I was parked outside Marks and Spencer’s waiting for Robbie to buy himself a coffee and a breakfast baguette. Then at long last we were on our way.


Considering the late start we had a reasonable journey and made good time. Before we had even left Northampton Robbie did his usual trick of squealing with delight at something that he had seen from the car. This time it was not a train, it was two traction engines in the car park of the rugby club, he was very disappointed that I refused to stop for him to take a closer look. One day he will cause an accident by shouting out like that. I got my own back on him later when I told him that I had caught him out in a bit of mischief (yet again), it is one of the few occasions that I can recall Robbie being completely speechless. He should know by now that I don’t miss much!


We arrived at about 3pm and began the exhausting process of unpacking and putting everything away. I was exhausted and all I really wanted to do was to make the bed and crawl into it, but suddenly we were thrown into panic mode – it seems I had forgotten to pack the coffee! Robbie was very good, he managed not to stamp his feet, but the arms were folded and the bottom lip was sticking out as if he was a sulky toddler. So, before the unpacking was completed we had to get back into the car and head for Tesco in order to find the correct brand of coffee. By then I was far too tired to contemplate cooking, in fact I wasn’t even sure I was awake enough to eat anything, but Robbie’s rumbling tummy led us to the fish and chip shop. I found that I was hungry after all and I managed to clear my plate before sleep finally caught up with me.

Robbie On A Bad Day

Where do I start? Maybe I should just say that Robbie's mood yesterday evening was a little fragile, it was clear that he was tired - the sound of snoring was a bit of a hint! I went to bed at around 11pm and I thought he would follow shortly after - he didn't! I made sure that all my alarm clocks were set correctly because it always takes my body clock a few days to adjust to losing an hour. Then I settled down to sleep. The next thing I remember is being woken by someone treading on my ankle - Robbie had finally decided to come to bed. I probably told him to go away as I drifted back to sleep, but I was woken again shortly after by a loud bleep, then another, then a whole series of bleeps and a flashing blue light. In my confused and sleepy state I couldn't work out what was going on, was it morse code or some sort of secret message? I forced my eyes open to see Robbie kneeling naked on the bed attempting to change the time setting on his new Lego alarm clock. There was a brief but brutal exchange of insults and I advised Robbie to take clock to the bathroom to set it with the light on! It was just after 2am and I was determined to get some sleep so I turned my back on him and pulled the duvet over my head.


His Lego alarm clock announced  that it was 5am and time to get up - he slept on. After several further episodes of blue lights and bleeping and considerable input from me, Robbie plodded off to the bathroom. That dratted alarm clock continued to serenade me every 5 minutes until Robbie returned, I wanted to implant it in his head but I restrained myself and told him to take it away and drown it! His interest was then taken up with pants! Allegedly I had deliberately deprived him of his favourite underwear by failing to do a dark wash yesterday. I did a dark wash on Sunday evening, how many pairs of pants could he possibly have got through since then! I provided him with clean pants and socks but he wasn't keen to let go of the issue and he continued muttering about the underwear conspiracy until he found something else to moan about. Apparently I have deliberately failed to oil the hinges on our bedroom door just to annoy him! That man makes my hands itch sometimes!!


The thing is that none of those things were the real problem. The truth is that he is in so much pain from his back and his legs that he doesn't know how to put one foot in front of the other. He will not go to the doctor because he knows there is nothing they can do except give stronger pain killers. I feel so useless, I wish I could make the pain go away, I wish I could do something, anything to make it easier for him. There has to be some way to ease the pain and I am not going to give up until I find it!


Photo by Clix