Decisions, Decisions.

It seems as if the blog has focussed a lot on aches and pains recently, I try not to sound too gloomy, but as I write about the ordinary events of family life it is hard to avoid writing about something as important as Robbie's struggle with back and leg pain. Over recent years his legs have misbehaved more and more frequently (that is true of the rest of him too - but that's another story!). He has written off so many pairs of trousers and jackets, but every cloud has a silver lining - I suspect he is single-handedly responsible for the improvement in Marks and Spencer's profits.

For quite a long time I have been trying to persuade Robbie to take his health more seriously and to make some adjustments in his life to make things a little easier. To be honest I get more attention when I talk to the dog (and she is deaf!) but finally we have reach the point where Robbie has had to take stock and admit that even a superhero would struggle to cope with the wide range of commitments that he was trying to cope with.

As well as a demanding job and a difficult journey to work every day, he had his rail tours, gigs, various union responsibilities, family commitments, a demanding wife, and one or two other little diversions that he would kill me if I mentioned on the b

log (yes even worse than milk floats!). Anyway Robbie has reluctantly admitted that he has to put his health and his family first. Sometimes just getting to work is a real struggle, but he never gives up, he loves his job, and he puts his heart and soul into his work, so that has to come first, before any of his other activities. He loves his trains too, I am sure if he had to choose between me and a deltic he would the deltic! Never mind, I know my place! He couldn't give up his trains and his rail tours, it would be cruel to expect him to do that, but he has promised to be more realistic about how much he can do.

So that leaves gigs and the union. In his heart Robbie knows that gigs will not figure very much in his future, but he isn't quite ready to put that into words. He would't be able to stand for that long and that ridiculous bouncing up and down thing that he used to do has to stay firmly in the past. I know it is hard, but I am sure we can find other ways for him to enjoy his music (I use the term music in it's broadest sense, to me the stuff he likes is just noise). The union was the most difficult decision of all. I make no secret of the fact that I disapprove of his union involvement, but I love Robbie and I am proud of the work he has done to support his colleagues in many different ways. Recently he has been very unhappy and stressed because there have been times when his health has stopped him from fulfilling his union responsibilities and there have been even more times

when his union work has encroached on his paid work to an unacceptable degree. In the end the union pressures were too much to cope with and something had to give. It was such a hard decision but Robbie has finally decided to step aside from his union roles and let others take their turn.

So if you see Robbie he could use a few friendly words because it has been a difficult few weeks, but beware, he doesn't like people to make a fuss so a dodgy joke or a chat about trains would be

far more welcome than an excess of sympathy. He may have had to face a few setbacks, but in his head he still thinks he is Superman!

A Pain in the Arm

I had my swine flu injection on Tuesday. I have the 'flu jab every year and it usually causes a very painful arm so I was expecting the swine flu injection to be much the same. As usual I got a hard red painful area on my arm but by Wednesday evening the pain was really bad and impossible to ignore, even painkillers don't seem to help. Now I feel as if I have 'flu too, I expect it will sort itself out in a day or two but I feel really rough, I hope it was worth having the jab.

Robbie took Sam to his first gig on Tuesday evening, they went to see Hadouken. They both had a very good time, but I think Sam found it a bit loud. Robbie wore his see through converse with yellow socks, words fail me, it looked horrible. Oh well I should be grateful, at least I didn't have to go with them!

Wide Awake or Sleep Walking.

Robbie went to see Speech Debelle in London on Wednesday so I had a quiet evening without him. I knew he would be very late home, so when I had finished my work I went off to bed to listen to the radio and before long I was sound asleep. The next thing I recall was a familiar thunderous sound, Robbie was galloping up the stairs and as usual he was talking to himself. He bounced into the bedroom bursting to tell me all about his evening, he sat down heavily on the bed and embarked on a detailed account of his evening. I glanced at the clock, it was 1.24am, no wonder I could hardly keep my eyes open!

Thursday evening was very different, Noddy was sitting at the table with his laptop as usual and I was determined that he would stay awake and talk to me. He did make an effort for half an hour or so, he even managed a few complete sentences, but before long he was back to the same old Robbie. I saw out of the corner of my eye that the table and everything on it was vibrating noticeably. A closer look revealed Robbie, headphones clamped to his ears doing a very convincing impression of the nodding dog from the Churchill advert. Clearly he was listening to some of his more extreme music. Before long the localised earthquake subsided and Noddy had nodded off again, head against the wall, mouth open like a stranded fish. I was very tempted to leave him parked there when I went to bed, but with a combination of threats and dogged persistence I got him on to his feet and then to bed.

Direct Action - By The Dog!

I need to buy an alarm clock with sharper edges because the only way an alarm clock will ever wake him up is if I beat him with it! Robbie was late home last night and he'd had a hard day so I understood that he needed to unwind for a while. I went off to bed shortly before midnight leaving him to follow soon after, but he did his usual trick of falling asleep on the sofa and he didn't get to bed until the dog decided to chuck him out of the lounge. Megan is a very placid dog, but she has her limits and when the snoring gets too bad she wakes him up and sends him off to bed. A couple of weeks ago he was asleep on the sofa and he woke with a start to find the dog standing on top of him licking his face. It frightened him half to death and he thundered up the stairs as if the devil was after him!

This morning was a rush because I couldn't wake Robbie up, I had to resort to threats of harm before he finally struggled out of bed. I will not see him again today because he is going off to a gig after work, a group called the Bombay Bicycle Club. I am not really interested in music so When he first mentioned The Bombay Bicycle Club I had visions of Robbie on a bike, what a scary thought! I will be asleep before he gets home tonight, so I expect I will have similar problems waking him up tomorrow morning.

Undivided Attention?

I went back to the doctors yesterday because this cough/breathing problem just will not get better. I am not impressed, I have to have a week off work and I have been given a third inhaler and steroids. Oh well, if it makes me better it will be worth it.

Do you remember Robbie's promise about me having his undivided attention until next February? It seems we have a different interpretation of 'undivided attention' because Robbie is off to a gig tonight and he will not be home until midnight and tomorrow morning he will be leaving early to go on a rail tour! He hasn't been around to help with the shopping for weeks, so I hope he will be OK with beans on toast for Christmas dinner!!!

The Waiting Game

Robbie went to a gig in Birmingham on Monday evening, apparently it was one of his favourite groups called The Wedding Present. Robbie was incredulous that I have managed to get through life this far without ever hearing anything about them, and he decided to put that right by providing a potted history of the group and then making a strange noise which was allegedly singing. My eyes glazed over and I decided that in this case ignorance was bliss. My ears were still recovering from the tuneless roar that Robbie calls singing when he asked me to pick him up from the station at midnight. I agreed on the strict understanding that he would not sing to me again. I duly arrived at the station at 11.55pm just one minute before the train was due in. Within seconds a text arrived to say that they were delayed at Rugby! A succession of gloomy texts followed and I sat there feeling cold and tired until the intrepid traveller finally arrived at 1.00am, I was not impressed. The journey home consisted of a long rant from Robbie on the subject of Network Rail!

Robbie is going on a charter trip on Saturday and apparently his life will not be fulfilled unless I let him go to an open day at a cement works on Sunday. Well, how can I compete with the attractions of a cement works? One thing is absolutely certain, it will be a very long time before I agree to pick him up from the station at midnight!!

Tears

On Saturday lunchtime I answered the phone to find Emily sobbing on the other end. It was difficult to make sense of what she was saying and a ripple of fear ran through me, obviously something very bad had happened and as she and Laura were both at work my first fear was that something had happened to Laura. Through her tears Emily managed to tell me that one of her co-workers had died and Emily was so upset by the news that she had been allowed to go home. I dashed out to pick her up and by the time I found her she was a little bit calmer. Karen, had only been off sick for three or four weeks and the news of her death had come as a terrible shock. Emily liked her because she was a bit 'dizzy' like Emily and she was always helpful and friendly at work. She had young children so her death was especially sad. Cancer is such a cruel illness.

The previous day we had been delighted by the news of a new life and so soon afterwards we were reminded of the sadness of death. It is the way of the world, but the pain is especially bitter when someone dies so tragically young. It certainly pushes our own trivial worries back into perspective and it reminds us to make the most of our own lives.

Robbie went to a gig last night, to see The Breeders, so I spent the evening trying to stay awake because I had to pick him up from the station at 12.40am! He still managed to get up for work at 5.15am, but as usual I thought Monday morning had arrived far too soon.

National Fig Roll Crisis!

Robbie and Laura went to a gig at last night. The group was Blood Red Shoes, they have seen them before so they knew they would enjoy the music. Laura loves going to gigs with Robbie, but she said his singing was a bit on the loud side last night, the observations about his singing led on to observations about his dancing which Emily described as like a child's impression of an aeroplane, I presume it involves a lot of arm flapping. Never mind, at least he enjoys himself! The gig was tinged with a certain amount of sadness because it was announced recently that the venue The Soundhaus is to close because of nearby redevelopment, the result of a potty planning decision. There is a very active campaign to save The Soundhaus and hopefully common sense will prevail in the end.
Save the Soundhaus

When they got home I'd hoped Robbie had a sudden rush of energy and set about extending my general knowledge. Did I know that that there is a national fig roll crisis? No, I didn't and more to the point I am not bothered in the slightest. When that failed to get the desired reaction he changed direction, did I know that the first teasmaid (also spelled teasmade) was gas powered. No strangely enough I have never wondered about that, but thanks to Robbie I now know that Samuel Rowbottom patented it in 1892. As if that wasn't excitement enough Robbie shared yet more tantalising details about teasmaids, the first electric teasmaid was patented by George Absolom in 1933. There is one thing to be grateful for - I will never need sleeping tablets!

Fig Roll crisis
Fig Rolls in detail

Teasmaid facts
teasmade.com

Over Dressed

Robbie went to a gig last night, to see a group called Be Your Own Pet, he has seen them before so he must have thought it worth the effort of going to the gig. He tends to like loud and tuneless music, there are a few groups that we both like, but generally if I like it he doesn't and vice versa. I picked him up at the station at midnight and he could hardly walk, his legs were killing him because of all that standing around. He insists that he is not too old to go to gigs, but I do worry about him, his legs hurt and his ears play him up for days afterwards, I can't understand why anyone would do that for pleasure!

Just when I was thinking that I was on a winning streak with Sam and his school shoes he found a new issue for me to worry about. He was obviously acting as Robbie's understudy this morning, still flitting around in his PJ's fifteen minutes before we needed to leave the house. He finally appeared in the lounge fully dressed, in fact he was a little too fully dressed, he had his uniform black trousers, white shirt, tie black blazer and lurid green belt! I insisted that the belt had to go but he was adamant that it would be fine, after another verbal spat I won and the belt was reluctantly returned to his bedroom to be reunited with his jeans. By the time I dropped him at school he managed to look approximately tidy and he was very reluctantly wearing his new school shoes. I wonder what new challenge he will manage to come up with tomorrow!

Air Conditioning 19.05.07

Robbie has just come home from the gig, full of enthusiasm and claiming that it was a really good evening. The odd thing is that he saw 4 groups but all he could talk about was the incredible air conditioning. He went on and on about it until I begged him to be quiet!

Silverlink Standard Pace

On Thursday Robbie went to a gig in London, to see a group called Bromhead's Jacket. His gig buddy Laura wasn't able to go with him, GCSE coursework deadlines kept her imprisoned in her bedroom. That turned out to be a blessing in disguise because rail services via Milton Keynes went pear shaped that day, the strong wind had brought the overhead wires down.

Robbie decided that nothing would prevent him getting to his gig and he travelled from Birmingham via Reading to Paddington, then across London to the gig. I was treated to a step by step progress report by text, that wasn't too bad, but the phone calls with station announcements in the background nearly burst my eardrums. Robbie enjoys his gigs and I am happy for him to go providing that I don't have to go too, I don't like noise and I can't cope with crowds so they are not really my thing.

He sent me a couple of texts during the gig, but I was already asleep when he rang to say he was heading home. He had to get a bus from Milton Keynes so it was close to 2am when he arrived home. He has never been able to come to bed quietly, when he sits down on the bed he practically bounces me onto the floor! This time he was not that subtle, he shook me awake - living dangerously! He wanted to know if the dog had been fed - of course she had been fed. He then gave me an in depth account of his evening, the journey, people he met, the venue, the merchandise, he went on and on and on. He bored me back to sleep, but he still didn't shut up and when he jolted me awake again I threatened that if he didn't shut up he would learn to sing so high that he could join the Bee Gee's . It must have worked because the next thing I heard was the alarm clock!

Robbie said train services were still messed up on Friday morning, but I didn't realise the severity until I went to the station on Friday evening. It was bedlam, there were coaches all over the place, and yellow coated men moving around at Silverlink standard pace, frantically waving their arms and talking on mobile phones. For those not 'lucky' enough to live near a Silverlink station, I need to explain Silverlink standard pace, I wouldn't call it slow, more funereal! In fact if you look at the lugubrious faces they possess, you could be forgiven for thinking that Silverlink was running a rehabilitation program for ex undertakers. You would be wrong, you have to take two other factors into account to get to the truth, the austere uniform and the absolute refusal to divulge any useful information to passengers. It then becomes obvious that the KGB was not disbanded, it has diversified! No wonder I hear so many eastern european accents in town these days!